Or he started liking asparagus.
man_wtfhappenedtoyou 1 point 20 days ago
"why is my black coffee so frothy today?"
a_non_monotonic_function 3 points 20 days ago
JoMiran 63 points 22 days ago
Although OP's headline is completely fake, this one is not.
SalmiakDragon 21 points 21 days ago
And of course, the target is a female coworker.
tutter 16 points 21 days ago
and the perv fucking got off scott free because "technically theres no law against unwanted seminal fluids".
Whyyyyyy? Everyone acknowledges this is fucked up and wrong "we just didnt have the imagination to include your specific little freak case, so now you get to face NO consequences. Lucky you :)"
i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it...
SalmiakDragon 15 points 21 days ago
45 days in jail. Source
In January, the city of New Brighton charged Lind with a misdemeanor crime of engaging in lewd or indecent behavior.
Lind pleaded guilty and was sentenced Friday to 45 days in jail.
Incidentally, Friday was also the day Gov. Mark Dayton signed into law a bill that makes it a specific crime to put bodily fluids into something another person would eat or drink.
tutter 9 points 21 days ago
okay not scott free but hopefully you get what i mean. they dropped the sexual assault charges on the technicality i described in the previous comment
which is what i hate
dreamkeeper 5 points 21 days ago
Should be sexual assault
SaveTheTuaHawk 2 points 21 days ago
Friday was also the day Gov. Mark Dayton signed into law a bill that makes it a specific crime to put bodily fluids into something another person would eat or drink.
Bad news for McDonalds kitchen workers. The Shamrock shakes will never be the same.
captainlezbian 1 point 21 days ago path: 0 25021163 25032219 25034456 25036105, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
lyralycan 40 points 21 days ago
Some of the best puns for this meme include:
- Fappucino
- Cumpresso
- Ejaculatte
- Tastes nutty
I forgot to add this, my b >>
On a more sobering note, this guy's real crime is sexually harassing women. More so, the legal system didn't really work in his case.
Mugshot for proof. Also you can find news on him but most news sources are now "Your data, your choice: Accept cookies, or Reject cookies and pay a subscription fee" so this is the best I can do
dreamkeeper 7 points 21 days ago
It pisses me off how easy it is for these fucks to get away with it. All of the women I've been close to have stories about being assaulted, stalked or harassed, or all three. These men are a plague on society and should be locked away for a lot fucking longer than they are. Instead we often reward them.
lyralycan 6 points 21 days ago
Same here. It's so commonplace it's terrifying. I transitioned physically after I became an adult, and I am lucky that I didn't grow up with the same chance of sexual abuse as cis women, but since then I have become fearful of walking at night alone, mainly because of the sheer danger women face by people who think it's their birthright to own everything and everyone they want.
My neighbour was stalked almost to her home a week ago. She carries a rape alarm in her hand because this isn't a rare occurrence.
yermaw 6 points 21 days ago
Core concept in the OP. I've had about 15 different jobs, maybe 50 different bosses throughout my life, and so far theres been 2 that I didnt wish ill upon.
From just the OP headline its easy to imagine the boss had it coming.
BarneyPiccolo 2 points 21 days ago
One downvote from a Boss.
BarneyPiccolo 0 points 21 days ago
When we heard he was doing it to his BOSS.
bizarroland 21 points 22 days ago
This demonstrates an incredible drive, a level of commitment that no one who is not being chased by inner demons can accomplish.
Any company would be Lucky to hire this guy to use that for their purposes (while he works from home)
SaveTheTuaHawk 2 points 21 days ago
Any company would be Lucky to hire this guy
"Can I tell you about our monthly subscription service?"
Diplomjodler3 17 points 22 days ago
These days bosses always complain about a lack of dedication from their employees. And then they get this guy who shows some real dedication and they arrest him. SMH
Lost_My_Mind 8 points 22 days ago
I remember just before the pandemic just about every non-trade job in my area was hiring at minimum wage. I'd hear store owners say they're short staffed because nobody wants to work.
I said "How much do you start employees at?" And they'd say $7.10 per hour."
I said "At those wages, I imagine they don't want to work an adult job when Mcdonalds down the street hires for $8.00 an hour."
These small business owners never wanted to admit the problem. In those days, if he'd have said $12 an hour, I'd likely have applied.
DrPop 15 points 21 days ago
I'm thinking of the scene in South Park where they were selling Butter's goo as a sports drink. Randy goes to drink it and says ,"this is cum,". Implying Randy knows what cum taste like and no one figured it out.
UltraMagnus0001 14 points 21 days ago
How the fuck you buss a nut that easily, was the coffee cold and creamy?
WanderWisley 6 points 21 days ago
CUMppuccino
Bluescluestoothpaste 6 points 21 days ago
Lol i wonder if it became such a force of habit he didn't even realize what he was doing after a couple years -- imagining he got caught red-handed "what are you doing?!?" "Uh im uh getting boss their coffee uhhh yeah this looks weird uhh it's just a habit you know"
BarneyPiccolo 2 points 21 days ago
"This is how he takes his coffee, don't judge."
FistingEnthusiast 6 points 21 days ago
Evil Frodo
custom_username 5 points 21 days ago
Suspects picture looks AI generated
Racoonwithbenefits 5 points 22 days ago path: 0 25021235, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
covert_czar 5 points 22 days ago
Better froth in cappuccino
henfredemars 5 points 22 days ago
Sauce please if true. I want this to be true.
kryptonianCodeMonkey 4 points 21 days ago
"These charges are bullshit. I missed a day every once in a while. Performance anxiety."
anon_8675309 4 points 21 days ago
Looks guilty to me.
cheat700000007 4 points 21 days ago
So assuming 15min a session, x 250ish workdays removing holidays in the USA, x 4 years = 250 hours of getting paid to jerk off
THE_GR8_MIKE 3 points 21 days ago
Type of post I scroll by and leave front and center on my phone at work without realizing what it says for 5 minutes.
tigermountain 3 points 21 days ago
Just like they were dating.
itisileclerk -3 points 21 days ago
Whait, what? He will receive some kind of punishment, and his boss will receive ridicule as long as he lives. How is that "justice is served"?
lemmyshitpost
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lemmyshitpost
@lemmy.world
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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
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Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
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2. No Illegal Content
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Boss only found out when he forgot to jerk into his coffee and noticed it tasted off.
save