Anon institutes the draft

17 days ago by 🍹Early to RISA 🧉 to c/greentext

MapleFawn 66 points 17 days ago

Pretty sure the Hamster would be fine, didn’t Kurzgesagt have a video on this kinda stuff where they tossed a mouse of a skyscraper but due to the mass and size of the mouse it doesn’t reach a speed in which it dies on impact?

path: 0 25097474, hotness: undefined, score: 66, children: 11

jrs100000 67 points 17 days ago

You can drop a mouse down a mineshaft and it can survive the landing, but a skyscraper has cross winds, which could easily get it moving laterally too fast to survive. A hamster is considerably larger than a mouse though, and just because a mouse could survive doesnt mean a hamster would.

path: 0 25097474 25098083, hotness: undefined, score: 67, children: 0

Kazumara 42 points 17 days ago

Hamsters are way heavier, around 150g, unless we're talking pups or dwarf breeds. That's around 6 - 10 times the weight of a mouse.

And they are a more compact shape with stubby legs and tails, which I imagine has negative implications for terminal velocity.

path: 0 25097474 25100903, hotness: undefined, score: 42, children: 2

samus12345 12 points 16 days ago

Size comparison:

path: 0 25097474 25100903 25107377, hotness: undefined, score: 12, children: 0

speakupattheback 1 point 16 days ago

There's only one way to settle this

path: 0 25097474 25100903 25117692, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

Johanno 27 points 17 days ago

Our hamster died from a 50 cm fall. I don't think they are as durable as mice

path: 0 25097474 25100614, hotness: undefined, score: 27, children: 0

SkaveRat 21 points 17 days ago

Hamsters will die from looking at them wrong. I also know three childhood friends who had hamsters that died from it just walking off the bed

They are very fragile

path: 0 25097474 25104492, hotness: undefined, score: 21, children: 0

wopalopa 21 points 17 days ago

i had a hamster when i was a kid it was put inside a glass aquarium. my lil bro took it to our granma house couple blocks away. idk how but he lost his grip and fell to the ground. the tank glass shattered and the hamster died on the spot. im sure its not a height thing and more of a shock and stress thing

path: 0 25097474 25098706, hotness: undefined, score: 21, children: 1

SillyDude 14 points 17 days ago

The US military has been collecting all the munitions grade hamster due to a shortage of depleted uranium.

path: 0 25097474 25098706 25099057, hotness: undefined, score: 14, children: 0

Honytawk 3 points 17 days ago

Mark Rober's squirrel videos also talked about it a lot.

path: 0 25097474 25099182, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

ricecake 2 points 16 days ago

A wise man once said:

You can drop a mouse down a thousand-yard mine shaft; and, on arriving at the bottom, it gets a slight shock and walks away, provided that the ground is fairly soft. A rat is killed, a man is broken, a horse splashes

path: 0 25097474 25121544, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

Darkenfolk -1 points 17 days ago

From what I've seen on the internet hamsters need to be on a 24/7 suicide watch, even without retard kids throwing them from buildings.

path: 0 25097474 25098670, hotness: undefined, score: -1, children: 0

TheSlad 58 points 17 days ago

At first i wondered how shitty the parachute must've been, but then I remembered that I had dwarf hamsters as a kid, not normal ones.

Also for some reason my mom made the mistake of getting a boy and a girl and they did exactly what you'd think. Except that the cage was too small for that many critters and the momma started eating the babies out of stress....

path: 0 25100849, hotness: undefined, score: 58, children: 9

blockheadjt 19 points 17 days ago

...

Oh! The hamster mom. Not your mom.

Ok, that's a bit less horrifying.

path: 0 25100849 25105514, hotness: undefined, score: 19, children: 0

tetris11 10 points 17 days ago

I had that parachute action man, and I remember chucking him down a flight of stairs. Shitty, shitty parachute. The doll itself was surprisingly well made (I guess it was drop tested a lot during production?) but weighed a ton and the parachute was hilariously too small for it

path: 0 25100849 25102178, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0

cantstopthesignal 10 points 17 days ago

We had one pet rat then my mom let me get another one of the opposite sex. Anyways we had really bad rat infestation before we sold that house.

path: 0 25100849 25102934, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0

Alfredolin 9 points 17 days ago

😳

path: 0 25100849 25100902, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 1

TheSlad 4 points 17 days ago

Dont worry she didnt eat all of them! I think we had like 3 or 4 generations of inbred hamsters before we finally got a second cage and segregated them.

.... as an adult i am staunchly against any "pet" that has to be kept in a cage or enclosure.

path: 0 25100849 25100902 25102441, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0

TootSweet 5 points 16 days ago

I witnessed the other side of that phenomenon. The babies ate the mom.

path: 0 25100849 25106326, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 1

samus12345 8 points 16 days ago

path: 0 25100849 25106326 25107332, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 0

some_kind_of_guy 4 points 16 days ago

Yeah rodents have interesting behavior like that. They have absolutely no qualms eating a friend or their own offspring if they need the resources.

I once had two mice. The next morning, I still had two mice, but one of them was missing its head.

path: 0 25100849 25113331, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0

RamenJunkie 1 point 17 days ago

This happened when my brother and I got mice. He got a mouse, I decided I wanted a mouse. We forgot to check the gender...

path: 0 25100849 25102361, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

Fizz 35 points 16 days ago

Huge parenting failure. Getting a kid an animal without teaching them the respect needed. I was so careful with my pets as a kid because I respected them as living creatures and I understood how big and scary a human can be.

path: 0 25110425, hotness: undefined, score: 35, children: 9

BananaIsABerry -13 points 16 days ago

This is the most fediverse response I could have expected.

Hey everyone, this person is super moral.

path: 0 25110425 25112177, hotness: undefined, score: -13, children: 8

some_kind_of_guy 19 points 16 days ago

There's absolutely nothing wrong with having strong morality. I think it's perfectly acceptable discourse.

You had to go and make things weird.

path: 0 25110425 25112177 25113298, hotness: undefined, score: 19, children: 2

BananaIsABerry 0 points 16 days ago

It's just par for the course on lemmy/the fediverse. Keep an eye for common conversations featuring, "I think your comment proving your morality isn't enough, here's how you could be even more!"

Idk why this place isl Ike this. Every damn comment section.

path: 0 25110425 25112177 25113298 25117082, hotness: undefined, score: 0, children: 1

sit 2 points 13 days ago

If everybody is a sob you are the sob

path: 0 25110425 25112177 25113298 25117082 25167620, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

Fizz 5 points 16 days ago

Yeah wow imagine thinking dropping an animal to its death is parenting failure. I'm crazy

path: 0 25110425 25112177 25112905, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 3

BananaIsABerry -1 points 16 days ago

The story is definitely not real.

Responding to the story as if anyone actually believes this is an acceptable thing to do is moral grandstanding. No one is impressed that you think this is a bad thing. Everyone already knows this.

path: 0 25110425 25112177 25112905 25113221, hotness: undefined, score: -1, children: 2

Fizz 6 points 16 days ago

Why wouldnt it be real? Plenty of kids do this kind of "playing" with animals ask people how many pets they had as a kid.

Maybe most people here think its bad but in general people dont see it as a failure of the parent. I can see how you would think its grandstanding and it wasnt my intention. I was just trying to give a sane reply to a cruel post.

path: 0 25110425 25112177 25112905 25113221 25113416, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0

BenLeMan 5 points 16 days ago

Like your intellectual grandstanding is better by even an iota.

path: 0 25110425 25112177 25112905 25113221 25114806, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

dreadbeef 4 points 16 days ago

Some parents fail in moments, fact of life. No point arguing with it. You're telling me it's shocking that a kid who goes to 4chan has parents who slip up? I'm shocked. This is my shocked face: O.O Whaa? Parents of a kid who goes on 4chan makes... mistakes? Incredible. I would have never believed it true!

path: 0 25110425 25112177 25117388, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0

B0rax 32 points 17 days ago

Kids shouldn’t have rodents as pets.

And I had one as a kid…

path: 0 25097532, hotness: undefined, score: 32, children: 4

SkaveRat 9 points 17 days ago

Rats are great kid pets. But as any pet should be primarily be taken care off by adults, not the kids themselves

path: 0 25097532 25104507, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 1

FoxtrotDeltaTango 1 point 7 days ago

How else are we going to teach the kids responsibility?

path: 0 25097532 25104507 25279174, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

village604 5 points 17 days ago

How else are they going to learn about cannibalism?

path: 0 25097532 25102599, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

BlaestEgnen 1 point 16 days ago

We caught the mouse on our attic, by luring them into a moveable plastic bath tub. Then we apparently overfed them, so most of them ended up dieing because they got stuck in the toys, which mainly was cardboard rolls from paper towel

path: 0 25097532 25117533, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

Raiderkev 8 points 16 days ago

There is a ride called drop zone at the local theme park. When I was a kid, we'd win prizes in the arcade next to it, and often I'd get a parachute man and put him on my knee and watch him fall like 10 stories. No hamsters were murdered in my childhood parachute man antics though..

path: 0 25107460, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 0

MutantTailThing 5 points 16 days ago

This comment section is a trip.

path: 0 25115851, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

remon 2 points 17 days ago

Reminds me when we build the hamster colosseum out of Jenga blocks.

path: 0 25097503, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

partial_accumen -5 points 17 days ago

Anon has either never owned a hamster or did own a hamster and is a psychopath that had no issues with animal abuse.

path: 0 25097136, hotness: undefined, score: -5, children: 22

Sonotsugipaa 47 points 17 days ago

It is also possible that the fictional 9yo anon didn't have a firm grasp on physics, the wisdom not to endanger an animal for their own entertainment, nor the awareness that they didn't understand how actual parachutes work

(couldn't be me, at that age I had a drivers license, a stable job and the ability to vote)

The dad on the other hand...

path: 0 25097136 25097647, hotness: undefined, score: 47, children: 10

yakko 17 points 17 days ago

Only thing the dad did wrong is set a bad example by getting caught laughing. Don't they say comedy is tragedy sped up?

path: 0 25097136 25097647 25098046, hotness: undefined, score: 17, children: 4

Sonotsugipaa 14 points 17 days ago

Personally I wouldn't immediately lmao if I learned that my child had killed an animal hours prior, but yeah, I wouldn't go as far as accusing him of being a psychopath either

path: 0 25097136 25097647 25098046 25098809, hotness: undefined, score: 14, children: 1

yakko 9 points 17 days ago

It'd be highly context sensitive for me. I had a horrific hamster accident as a kid myself, so I might laugh out of pure unprocessed trauma.

path: 0 25097136 25097647 25098046 25098809 25098859, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 0

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 2 points 17 days ago

or with distance. like slipping in the mud, that's a tragedy. now tripping someone and seeing them slip in the mud, that's comedy gold.

path: 0 25097136 25097647 25098046 25101258, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1

yakko 3 points 17 days ago

Exactly. It's very human to find mirth in any misfortune that we have no emotional connection to.

path: 0 25097136 25097647 25098046 25101258 25102782, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

ThrowawayPermanente 3 points 17 days ago

Nope, straight to jail

path: 0 25097136 25097647 25103417, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

jaybone 3 points 17 days ago

This is how they get the voter fraud statistics.

path: 0 25097136 25097647 25098595, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

partial_accumen -1 points 17 days ago

You're skipping the first part of my statement. I can tell you didn't own an hamster either.

Lets say the hamster successfully parachuted down safely to the ground outside of a 4 story building. Hamsters can run quickly and squeeze into impossibly small places. There is a good chance the hamster, now unattended, would run away and escape. Hamster owners know this.

Here's a perfect example from a random youtube search. Hamster running away outside. 7 second. Thats how long it took for the unattended hamster to disappear into the underbrush. In this clip the owner was right there and able to recapture the hamster. A 9 year old would not be able to traverse 4 flights of stairs in under 10 seconds.

A 9 year hamster owner knows this too.

path: 0 25097136 25097647 25102043, hotness: undefined, score: -1, children: 2

Sonotsugipaa 2 points 17 days ago

I did own a hamster, when I was 6 years old.
I also didn't know shit, because I was 6 years old,
and I don't know about the challenges of chasing a hamster (which has something to do with yeeting it out of the window, somehow?) because I didn't yeet a hamster out of the window,
and even if I did I wouldn't remember it well because I was 6 years old.

What kind of child were you at either of those ages, sheldon_cooper@lemmy.world?

path: 0 25097136 25097647 25102043 25102483, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1

partial_accumen -1 points 17 days ago

I did own a hamster, when I was 6 years old.

I didn't get my first hamster until I was 8. Anon apparently has one at 9.

I also didn’t know shit, because I was 6 years old,

Sure, but we're talking about a kid 50% older than 6 years old. There's a lot of cognitive growth between those 3 years. I don't think you'd say you were as stupid at 9 as you were at 6 are you?

and I don’t know about the challenges of chasing a hamster (which has something to do with yeeting it out of the window, somehow?)

I don't know why I have to walk you through this, but okay: If anon at 9 assumed that the hamster would safely parachute down to the ground 4 stories down, then the moment that hamster was unguarded, it would bolt. A 9 year old that has ever taken their hamster outside knows this. A 9 year old typically doesn't want to lose their pet. So this was why I said that anon never had a hamster (as in this post is fake).

and even if I did I wouldn’t remember it well because I was 6 years old.

You don't remember anything from when you were 9 years old (as Anon was)? Are you saying if you had a pet at 9 you have no memory of it today? That...wouldn't be normal.

path: 0 25097136 25097647 25102043 25102483 25104034, hotness: undefined, score: -1, children: 0

Djehngo 22 points 17 days ago

Given that it's not uncommon for kids to injure themselves jumping from high places using a sheet as a parachute, I don't think we need to be assuming malice here.

path: 0 25097136 25099893, hotness: undefined, score: 22, children: 6

partial_accumen -6 points 17 days ago

9 year old hamster owners know that unattended hamster outside run away in seconds.

path: 0 25097136 25099893 25102070, hotness: undefined, score: -6, children: 5

village604 9 points 17 days ago

I don't think you've been around many 9 year olds

Kids are stupid

path: 0 25097136 25099893 25102070 25102600, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 4

partial_accumen -1 points 17 days ago

I have firsthand experience. I was a 9 year old (and younger) with hamsters. Yes I was stupid, but it only took one time of taking the hamster outside and setting him in the grass to see him bolt in 2 seconds. I was able to get him back, but that lesson was never lost on me.

path: 0 25097136 25099893 25102070 25102600 25103933, hotness: undefined, score: -1, children: 3

Object 21 points 17 days ago

Mf that's a 9 years old

path: 0 25097136 25097326, hotness: undefined, score: 21, children: 1

partial_accumen -3 points 17 days ago

9 year old hamster owners know that unattended hamster outside run away in seconds.

path: 0 25097136 25097326 25102079, hotness: undefined, score: -3, children: 0

Axolotl_cpp 9 points 17 days ago

It was a 9yrs old dude...

path: 0 25097136 25099287, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 1

partial_accumen -7 points 17 days ago

9 year old hamster owners know that unattended hamster outside run away in seconds.

path: 0 25097136 25099287 25102055, hotness: undefined, score: -7, children: 0

greentext

@sh.itjust.works

login for more options

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

go to feed...

greentext

@sh.itjust.works

login for more options

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

go to feed...