this is one of the r/malelivingspace posts of all time
this is one of the r/malelivingspace posts of all time

How did you get a picture of my 1st apartment bedroom?
Flock camera.
Chandelier is a bit feminine
Women hate overhead lighting. We decided at the meeting.
I fully believe that; almost all of the women in my family vastly prefer table lamps. I inherited all 19 of my grandmother's.
sorry, those are my cursed glass daggers of illumination.
Oh, my mistake, very metal, not feminine.
you may not like it, but this is what peak male interior design performance looks like
You want a bulb? Real men stub their toes in the dark.
Psssshhhh!!!! I stub my toe in the daylight! I stub my toe when there isn't even anything TO stub your toe on!
I'm just clumsy.
I think if it is that terrible bright white kind of bulb, it will be ok. π
Semicolon my dude
Semicolons are feminine
I donβt understand the bed frame. Is it a 2 inch mattress on a platform frame? Youβre going to bang your shin on that so hard.
Also, the bed is blocking the closet doors because, Iβm assuming.. closets are for ladies?
You joke, but that was my setup for years
I bet you're manly as fuck
Edit: also, what's heroine like?
Heroine? Like a female superhero? I uh.....I dunno man. We've already established that I am very manly.
Then again, Wonder Woman would be a heroine, and she's probably more manly that emo ass Batman!
Waaaah!!!! Waaaah!!!! My parents died!
Both of Spidermans parents died. And his uncle ben. And you don't see him being a little emo pussy.
Well, except in Spiderman 3. But we don't talk about that one.
That was my place in Florida. I think I even had the audacity to bring a girl there. IIRC we ended up back at her place.
Spellibg, grammar and literacy are feminine
Less empty = more thing
less fem = man thing
The obvious conclusion here, is a room brimming with dildos
AROO, BROTHER, GET A MF'IN HOG IN THERE. CRANK THAT MF'ER ANY TIME A BROTHER STARTS THINKING UR FEMININE (not that there's anything wrong with expressing femininity).
toss everything but the cat and the skull. everything you think of adding to the space, ask yourself 'is this in service of the skull? is this in service of the cat?'
if neither, don't add it. rinse & repeat until it looks like a Spirit Halloween to address the emptiness of the space (but know now, it won't fix the emptiness of your soul)
Agreed. Cat and skull are doing all the heavy lifting here.
Add some dirty dishes on the floor. A bowl of spaghetti and an empty can of beer is a easy and masculine touch you can use
How do I make this more incel?
Add some dildos to the place. Nothing is more manly than thick, juicy dicks. It's sure to be a conversation-starter, too!
I mean, with the pink looking underglow and black glitter looking duvet cover it does kinda give goth glam π
My real question is why the fuck it looks like the bed is just permanently blocking the closet lol
Bed a bedroom once where the only space to put the bed (a twin!) was with the head of the bed inside the closet.
Not relevant here, that bed could be moved, but reminded of it.
The way you decrease both the emptiness and femininity of this space is to get rid of all the retail mall goth shit, rev up the table saw and make some actual furniture.
If you're committed to the black and red aesthetic go with ebonized white oak and glazed black cherry. I'd lean toward the American Craftsman/Mission style, stylish within practicality and built to last, and most importantly would look absolutely stupid in distressed chalk paint.
There's a stereotype that men don't understand bed frames, somebody already in this comment section has posted a bare air mattress on the floor. The other extreme is the fuckateria table on display in the original post. Looks like a futon mat on plywood? Go to a mattress store and buy something that isn't marked down. As for a bed frame, simplicity is the order of the day. No footboard, if you go with a headboard make it functional. Should be low enough to sit down on, a bed you climb up on is college kid shit.
A taller dresser is more masculine, compared to a woman's dressing table.
A simple rocking chair is surprisingly useful, serves as a dressing rack.
You'll probably want three levels of lighting, mood lighting, reading lighting and cleaning lighting. Built-in overhead lights will serve as the latter.
Avoid any urge to set dress. This isn't a film set, you don't have to intentionally clutter tabletops and shelves with shit. Live a life and things to put there will happen to you. For the love of fuck don't decorate with books you want people to think you read.
Replace the white closet frame and doors with natural wood. Get rid of that skull. Replace it with a taxidermy black bear. Hang a sword above the closet doors. A really goofy looking one from the mall. Unmake the bed. Throw some Cheetos on the floor.
Cocks everywhere. After all, what is less feminine than giant raging boners?
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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
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Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
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Bed frames are feminine, put that mattress on the floor. While your at it, get rid of the sheets, bare mattress it up.
Lighting is too fancy, fancy is feminine. Plain flickering bulb is what you want for ambiance.
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