God has updated his Terms and Conditions πŸ™πŸΎ

25 days ago by pastermil to c/microblogmemes

SpruceBringsteen 207 points 25 days ago

Which high up in their church needed a transfusion?

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Apeman42 146 points 24 days ago

Oh, don't be so cynical. Maybe one of their elders bought a blood bank.

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Corkyskog 25 points 24 days ago

Yeah, but then they would come up with some internal blessing requirement for donated blood to ensure it stays in network.

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Quicky 107 points 24 days ago

An old JW boss of mine almost lost his wife during the birth of his first child when she was badly haemorrhaging at home.

I tried asking him about it (a few years after the event) and he was obviously defensive, but the gist was that they wouldn’t have taken a transfusion, and that he would have accepted losing her.

I’m not convinced - I think the decision was more dictated by her than him - but that would have been the end result.

Absolute madness

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HugeNerd 8 points 24 days ago

Did you tell him his religion is made up dogshit and there is no god?

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Wataba -8 points 24 days ago

Controlling men like that need to have a life changing surgery of their own before they harm more women like that.

I prescribe a sharp metal pick and a hammer personally.

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Quicky 46 points 24 days ago

I think you missed the point of this. I believe it was her influence more than his, based on other factors I’m aware of.

Unless you’re referring to the writers of the church doctrine as the controlling men.

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papalonian 1 point 24 days ago

I’m not convinced - I think the decision was more dictated by her than him - but that would have been the end result.

I missed the point as well, I took this to mean, "he wanted her to give birth without a transfusion, but I'm not convinced [it would've actually happened] - I think the decision [to have a transfusion or not] was more dictated by her [and she would've got one]"

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Okokimup 30 points 24 days ago

The controlling men in this scenario are the 8 bastards in Brooklyn known as The Governing Body who make up these rules and dictate whether a person will lose their entire family and or social/support network for failing to obey them.

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crypt0cler1c 2 points 24 days ago

Worse than the old white Mormon bastards.

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riot 17 points 24 days ago

I think the decision was more dictated by her than him

I think the point is that he was never part of the decision.

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Quicky 7 points 24 days ago

You’re correct

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ExLisper 80 points 24 days ago

Despite the adjustment, the organisation was firm that its longstanding prohibition on whole-blood transfusions has not changed. It anchored the continued ban on its reading of biblical instructions to "abstain from blood," signalling that the shift applies only to the four major components, not to transfusions in their entirety.

People died because of this and now they just go "we looked at the rules again and we think they actually mean something else". What the fuck is this? The Supreme Court?

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Wildmimic 39 points 24 days ago

and "abstain from blood" in biblical times for sure meant "transfusions" too *head -> desk"

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starik 33 points 24 days ago

You forget that God knows all and can see future technology. We’re still waiting for the passage β€œThou shalt not step into thy transporter, for it causeth loss of thy soul” to become relevant.

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taiyang 23 points 24 days ago

I thought it was weird it even had passages about NVidia's DLSS5, but now we know.

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Serinus 2 points 24 days ago

It's probably because they had issues with blood types.

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Wildmimic 1 point 24 days ago

I'd say the only "blood types" around where those people drinking blood.

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GroundedGator 1 point 23 days ago

Similar to many of the kosher rules, it was about food safety and knowledge at the time.

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Supervisor194 7 points 24 days ago

It's stupid. All they had to do was prohibit eating of blood 70 years ago and nobody would have blinked an eye, because that's exactly what the verse meant in its entirety. The whole blood loophole they've done here to save face is meaningless, since whole blood is almost never used except in severe trauma and even then you can use fractions and have a pretty good chance of recovering. A whole lot of people had to die to get here. It sucks.

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Furbag 54 points 24 days ago

So... which higher up at the JW organization needed a life saving transfusion? No way they changed their minds on this unprompted.

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Berlinblades 2 points 23 days ago

The hierarchical structure of this organisation is absolutely vile.

Also,the ones out witnessing at the train Station or going door to door are usually at the bottom of the hierarchy,so I for one am always politenl to them,even if i dont engage. It's not nice to mess with them or slam the door or whatever.

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A_Random_Idiot 46 points 24 days ago

Whenever I see stupid shit like JW refusing blood, i'm reminded of the parable of the man in the flood, who keeps getting rescuers coming to him time and time again, only to refuse it all with the declaration that god would save them.. and then they finally die in the flood, and they angerly accost got about why god didnt save him, and god is all like "Fuck you, You fucking idiot. You refused every rescue that came your way. This is your fault for being stupid"

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boonhet 25 points 24 days ago

I've seen it in the form of a comic or a short story and God literally said "who do you think sent the rescuers" which if you believe in God is kinda how it's supposed to work I believe, rather than God straight up lifting you out if the water

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elucubra 4 points 24 days ago

Well, sadly most user manuals for religions, are filled with stupid shit, with the odd exception like "Love thy neighbor" (which apparently has the corollary "but fuck anyone far away enough to not be your neighbor").

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heliotrope 44 points 24 days ago

Christianity also updates its Ts&Cs on occasion, like in 2007 when Pope John Paul II had a document commisioned, the publication of which was also authorised by Pope Benedict XVI, that basically said unbaptised children now go to heaven instead of limbo.

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Wataba 43 points 24 days ago

The Mormon church 'conveniently' decided to change their rhetoric about non-white people being marked by god because of past sin, right around the time of the Civil Rights Movement.

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prole 21 points 24 days ago

They were also firmly disproven by DNA evidence in their claim that native Americans descended from Israelites. Oops.

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funksoulkitchen 10 points 24 days ago

That was a good retcon though

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brem 35 points 24 days ago

Next up in the news, "Jehovah's Witnesses are going door to door asking for the blood of the innocent."

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HugeNerd 35 points 24 days ago

All religions are a form of mental illness. Religion is the greatest threat facing humanity BY FAR.

Because even after our little temporary oil-powered blip of 8 billion people lobbing planes full of bombs at each other collapses, we'll still keep inventing gods to disagree over.

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IndustryStandard 9 points 24 days ago

It definitely is not the political system of capitalism. Trump is such a devout Christian.

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Duamerthrax 17 points 24 days ago

The faith people have in capitalism is the same as their faith in their religion. Trump is the leader to his own religion.

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njm1314 3 points 24 days ago

Much deeper faith. I mean the faith people have in capitalism is to the point where they can't even imagine other economic systems existing.

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rapchee 1 point 23 days ago

tbf it's all that we ever knew, even the "communist" ones are/were state capitalists

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HugeNerd 9 points 24 days ago

As explained, the economics don't matter. We seem wired to invent nonsense and hack each other to pieces because of myths.

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IndustryStandard -8 points 24 days ago

This is your brain on Reddit Atheism

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HugeNerd 6 points 24 days ago

Historical fact. Religion is a mental illness. The end.

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Bryllyg 33 points 24 days ago

My great aunt was a JW. She lived a fairly long life but it could have been longer. she refused care at the end because of her beliefs. Unreal the control that religions have over people in the guise of morality and an afterlife. So stupid.

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Doomsider 5 points 24 days ago

Can't have them spending their tithing on medical costs.

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GiveOver 30 points 23 days ago

Prayers for those who died of blood loss 2 hours before God pushed the "allow transfusions" hotfix ☹️ πŸ™

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Lyrl 6 points 23 days ago

Hospitals in areas with large JW populations have opaque IV bags available, and at patient's request will lie to visitors about what is in it. Members have been "following their conscience" for decades, and I suspect this change is more about not ostrasizing those members than actually changing behavior.

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auntieclokwise 1 point 23 days ago path: 0 25938996 25949760, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
some_guy 23 points 24 days ago path: 0 25922172, hotness: undefined, score: 23, children: 3
tkk13909 8 points 24 days ago

Correction: this will end about 70 years of people senselessly ending their own lives for their religion. Nobody is being "saved" in this situation.

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ayyy 2 points 24 days ago

Tons of people have religion forced on them. Especially children and the poor.

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Blubber28 1 point 24 days ago

Indeed. This changes nothing about how idiotic their beliefs are, but saving lives = good, generally speaking.

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RattlerSix 19 points 24 days ago

Imagine you just watched your child die because they needed a blood transfusion a week ago but it was against your religion.

This is like the story of Onan. His brother died so it was his job to marry his brother's wife and give her a son. But he didn't want to so he "spilled his seed." So God killed him for failing to do his duty and provide her a son.

But later when God gave his laws for people to follow, the punishment was not death, it was to take him in front of the town elders and "remove a sandal from his foot and spit in his face." Like c'mon. What are we even doing here, folks?

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HawtP0tat0 3 points 24 days ago

You do realize that the punishment of "remove a sandal from his foot and spit in his face" is close to the modern equivalent of receiving a felony on your legal record then having grandma kick you in the balls. Not death but not far off unless you wanted to fully exile yourself and could drop a man from middle/upper class to just above a slave in an instant.

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Rivalarrival 11 points 24 days ago

Sounds like God has a foot fetish and a humiliation kink.

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0x0 1 point 24 days ago

In civilized countries the doctors decide on the child's life, not the parents. For adults they'll just shrug and save the blood for someone who's not boneheaded.

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RogueBanana 11 points 25 days ago

Well what did they witness this time?

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FreddiesLantern 10 points 24 days ago

Ah yes, the god that never changes.

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phoenixz 10 points 24 days ago

Aaahhh, so god visited somebody to give this great news? We love in the times where there are cameras everywhere, so where is the video of this momentous event?

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elucubra 1 point 24 days ago

Yeah. Also Nessie.

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k0e3 10 points 24 days ago

Why? Shouldn't they happy to be able to visit God sooner?

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Jankatarch 4 points 24 days ago

They realized it counts as suicide, maybe?

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Mulligrubs 10 points 24 days ago

Christians don't even make themselves eunuchs any more!

What next? Women having the authority to teach? Madness! I miss traditional Christian values.

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Mrkawfee 9 points 23 days ago

I believe!!! That Satan has a hold of you. I believe! That the Lord God has sent me here! And I believe that in 1978 God changed his mind about black people!!

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Lyrl 3 points 23 days ago

It's kind of interesting how religions handle change in their theology. The Catholics have very few teachings that have been designated "infallible" - almost everything is potentially up for grabs (https://uscatholic.org/...). Judaism has a whole thing about "since God gave the Torah to us at Sinai, it is now ours to interpret, and God himself said that we should rule on legal matters by majority vote (Exodus 23:2)" (https://www.mayimachronim.com/...) I am sure other religions have their own get out of jail cards, too.

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Jaysyn 9 points 23 days ago

This is how you know it's all made up bullshit.

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blitzen 8 points 23 days ago

So about 25 years ago, my mother remarried. Her new husband was a Jehovah Witness, or at least he had been before his previous divorce made him no longer welcome. Well, with their marriage he's suddenly welcome again, and so both he and my mother were JW.

Fast forward five years, and my mother has a condition in which she had to undergo surgery. During surgery, her red blood cell count dropped dangerously and thus required a blood transfusion. No medical issues with the transfusion, it all went well.

A few weeks later she has to return for further surgery. My siblings and I are visiting with her in the pre-op room, and we're suddenly joined with elders from her church. They'd heard about the earlier transfusion, and were there with pre-filled out paperwork for her to sign to decline any further should the medical need arise this time. I interrupted, and as the oldest of her children, I told her that under no circumstances would she be signing that. Ultimately, she did not sign and they left the church because of it.

If someone has a deeply held belief, who am I to tell them they're wrong. But my mother had no belief in the "sin" of blood transfusions. She'd only been part of the church for a handful of years. And even those "deeply held beliefs" of the church, they were subject to change themselves. Organ donation was once viewed within the church the same way they'd been viewing blood transfusion, but at some point the benefits of organ donation were clear enough to alter the "rules." I'm glad they're finally changing their views on this, but they could have killed my family member if I hadn't insisted they leave, and I won't forget that.

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i_stole_ur_taco 7 points 24 days ago

Is this a major version bump? Like are we on 3.0 now?

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vantablack 5 points 23 days ago

oh so this is why they went out of their way to get my explicit consent for blood transfusions in the hospital

thought that was fucking weird

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mo_lave 5 points 24 days ago

*Khorne did not like that*

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Berlinblades 4 points 23 days ago

In the US there is more control die to waivers and health insurance etc,but in Ireland my JW Friends have orders to obey the law of the land when it comes to doctrine conflicting with health matters,therefore they will grudgingly accept emergency blood transfusions.

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DeadEndLink 3 points 23 days ago

J/W's are a 19th century pyramid scheme.

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ikidd 3 points 24 days ago

But do they get christmas?

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elucubra 3 points 24 days ago

I wonder if they are using AI for their revisions now.

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spacegoat 3 points 24 days ago

Isn’t this very old news

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riot 13 points 24 days ago

You might be thinking of this from back in March, about members being allowed to store their own blood for later use.

But the changes mentioned in the screenshot here is regarding the press release they came out with this past Friday.

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Caesium 2 points 24 days ago

ain't gods neoprouns He/Him? (apparently different from he/him)

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yermaw 2 points 23 days ago

Is this another of Satan's temptations?

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TimboSlice 1 point 24 days ago

Happy to see this. I never like operating on JW patients because of the blood rule.

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altphoto 1 point 24 days ago

It's important to stay healthy before the battle royale to be one of the raptured ones.... The ones that go to heaven. I learned yesterday that only like 100,000 people get to go but yehoos are like 9 million. So do the math. Gotta get that popcorn ready if it happens tomorrow. Hey, if it happens, I'm staying on the sidelines.. Hey my dude, I'm not one! But I know that guy over there is! And look he's flying! Well if you look from down-here in the general direction, he kinda looks like he's about to fly.

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aceshigh 1 point 23 days ago

God sends emails now. Very modern.

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Jankatarch -5 points 24 days ago

Tbf religions ARE supposed to update terms & conditions.

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Earthwormjim91 17 points 24 days ago

They’re really not. Religions are usually based on the idea that an infallible deity or deities created everything.

If the terms and conditions get updated, that means that the deity/deities are not infallible, and the whole thing kinda falls apart.

If the religious elders are updating their understanding of the terms and conditions, then they’re not worth listening to and you should just be operating on your own understanding in the first place, which kills the whole idea of organized religion too.

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bus_factor 1 point 23 days ago

You can certainly feel that should be the case, and it's a fine argument for atheistm, but that's clearly not how it works in practice. Otherwise there wouldn't be three religions sharing the same God (Judaism, Christianity and Islam), each in multiple variants. And they all agree that God flooded the earth, before basically going "Eh, that was a bit much, I promise not to do that again".

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