US Senate Candidate Who Confronted Girl Scout and Mother for Selling Cookies Without a Permit Was Sentenced for Throwing a Live Tarantula at Her Neighbour
20 hours ago by spaghettiwestern to c/nottheonion
Independent Minnesota US Senate candidate Marisa Simonetti, 32, has been sentenced to three months in the Hennepin County workhouse after throwing a live tarantula onto the staircase leading to her tenant's living space in Edina. She was convicted of gross misdemeanour harassment and misdemeanour domestic assault and will serve her 90-day sentence on school and work release. The court also ordered her to serve two years of probation and submit a written apology to the victim.
Simonetti's sentence comes as she campaigns for a seat in the US Senate, hoping to replace Tina Smith in the November 2026 Minnesota election. Her candidacy has drawn further attention after a video she posted of herself confronting a Girl Scout and the child's mother over selling cookies without a permit went viral, putting her own conduct under public scrutiny.
Smarter than some dogs.
If recent times are any indication, people too.
Humans set the bar real low
Well I happen to know some pretty fucking dumb dogs.
I wonder why she's running as an independent. Couldn't be more qualified to be a Republican.
Although she initially launched her political career as a Republican and lost two Hennepin County Board races in 2024, the local 3rd Congressional District GOP committee withdrew its endorsement following her 2024 arrest, stating she 'does not reflect our values'.
The GOP kicked her out for bad behavior. She's too much for the addicts and pedophile warmongers.
There's a whole video of this floating around on the internet. I usually don't go in for videos that look like the old Cops show, but that one is worth a watch.
The woman she was harassing was renting out the basement of the house through Airbnb because she was fleeing domestic violence.
Simonetti didn't even own the property. She was illegally subletting the basement. The cops showed up and Simonetti was so crazy that the cops weren't having it.
I’ve seen this too, these people are terrifying. Here’s the link to the full body cam. Get ready for a whole helping of crazy eyes
I skipped on the other videos, but got sucked in by the crazy eyes comment. What a ride!
That was fucking insane, like, Jesus christ, don't let this bitch control ANYTHING!
a karen in its feral state.
Really not fair to the tarantula, who asked for none of this.
Tarantula are wildly intelligent. Like, smart dog intelligent.
This is a 100% lie and literally anyone here with a single minute to spare could fact check and learn they aren't very intelligent at all. Nowhere remotely close to a dog or cat, and aren't even known to be the smartest types of spiders. It's kind of sad that 28 people straight just blindly up voted this comment without a single one of them knowing it wasn't true and didn't bother to check.
They're super cool, but they're still dumb.
Not as dumb as some dogs.
I love tarantulas. My first-ever job was at a pet store and I used to let a large rose-hair chill with me at the register, crawling on my shoulder or head or whatever. Watching people coming in to buy dog food and shakily throwing their money in my direction was a bonus.
For this reason I still get uneasy feelings whenever I watch Home Alone and Kevin grabs the tarantula. There's a scene after it's on Joe Pesci where you can tell it got injured during the shoot because it's limping.
I've only had one tarantula experience and it was at an "animal party" for kids. Snakes, lizards, etc were all there. The kids are all really calm, sitting cross legged in a circle and being really gentle with any animal they were offered.
Anyway it's tarantula time and none of the kids are biting so I immediately raised my hand. Omg, what a beautiful creature and I got to hold it 😍
you can tell it got injured during the shoot because it's limping.
Oh God that's awful. I'll have to keep an eye for it.
Oh no poor baby :(
Never knew Tarantulas were that smart. Don't suppose you could teach them tricks?
Like, “sit”, “stay”, and “fetch me a cigarette”?! I want video of this
Tarantula are wildly intelligent. Like, smart dog intelligent.
Yeah I'm gonna go ahead and call bullshit on that bullshit. There is zero chance of that being true.
Just because you find the spider to be yucky, that doesn't mean it's not smart
I don't find tarantulas yucky and have had one as a pet.
They aren't smart. They aren't like dogs. You can't teach them anything. The most you can get out of them is that they will learn you're not gonna squish or eat them and be cool with you.
You can look this up "on the internet". They aren't even as smart as jumping spiders.
So yeah. He right on calling bullshit. Because it is bullshit.
Yeah, jumping spiders is where it's at when it comes to intelligence in spiders, and even then only in highly specific ways (i.e., hunting, and calculating jumps), and a significant portion of their apparent intelligence is just them having very good eyesight for a spider; dogs, cats, birds, rats, and even probably bees are still much more intelligent than them.
Tarantulas on the other hand aren't much smarter than your average politician or CEO.
Here is another article on this that I found a little bit clearer in terms of what happened. So basically her tenant asked her to fulfill a basic responsibility that landlords are supposed to handle and she had an absolute fucking meltdown? Honestly the tarantula is the tamest part of it. I hope the tarantula is okay and also that the tenant is okay, not because the tarantula was a real danger but because of every other fucking thing this woman did. Good lord.
Attempted murder.. yikes
if it was a venomous spider that can seriously harm people, it wouldve assault with a weapon.
For the curious, falling more than a few inches is often fatal due to a burst abdomen.
Fun overview of that girl scout video
Perfect for the next 50 years. They're not elected old, they just stay in office till they die, because of cronyism and corruption.
And yet 17 years too old for Trump to molest.
Showed the headline to a friend and asked him what he thought she did for a living.
'Realtor' was his first guess.
She's even worse than that, she's a professional parasite. She runs a "home buying firm," which means she routinely fucks people out of an average of $50,000 per transaction. To accomplish this, she uses media (TV, billboards, print, social) to convince homeowners of a lie (they will make the same if not more money using homebuyer services than using the conventional real estate process) by telling them a truth (the transaction will be fast and they will have money in their hands in just a few days).
It's an amazing feat of leveraging human desire to absolutely fuck the dogshit out of them: they willingly believe the lie because they want the money in their hands quickly and in so doing, they get fucked out of five figures.
Wait...does the Girl Scout organization not secure legal clearance at all for its scouts to sell? Or is she just a complete moron?
the Hennepin County workhouse
the what now?
some places never really had that veneer that slavery ended.
Her candidacy has drawn further attention after a video she posted of herself confronting a Girl Scout and the child's mother over selling cookies without a permit went viral, putting her own conduct under public scrutiny.
The tarantula thing wasn't enough?
Marisa "Karen" Simonetti
US Senate Candidate Who Confronted Girl Scout and Mother for Selling Cookies Without a Permit
Oh, yeah, she's in lockstep with the community on this one. Hatred of Girls Scouts crosses all lines, we can all agree on this.
fucking /s
Glad to read that this was a Senate "Candidate" and not a "Senator", though there are more than a few who are just as jackassed.
Feel kinda bad for the tarantula though.
I shouldn't be this attracted to such crazy women but here we are
duckface mugshot? instant turn off
lip filler mugshot? instant turn off
Go on! I'm sure you can fix her!
To each their own I guess? She has a evil look in her eyes.
Yup that's where the crazy hides 😍
An evil, ugly Vulcan
dead as doll eyes.
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Poor Tarantula.
save