Does this work for you?

13 hours ago by LadyButterfly she/her to c/autism

I do things little and often, the above don't work for me

18107 38 points 13 hours ago

The most important thing for me was to select a task (like move the mugs), and let that be the end of the task if I'm not feeling great. If I know that I'll have to finish the room, it makes starting the first task impossible.

Non zero days are important. Even the smallest task (one piece of rubbish in the bin) will add up if done every day.

path: 0 26406728, hotness: undefined, score: 38, children: 3
aramis87 10 points 12 hours ago

When I'm depressed and non-productive and the place is a mess, I tell myself: just one thing in every space, one thing in every space. Eventually I'll get moving.

It doesn't matter what the one thing is? Picking a leaf off the entrance floor counts, so does putting the empty toilet paper rolls into recycling, so does putting one glass into the dishwasher, so does recharging my watch. Walk into a room or hall or stairway landing, find one thing that isn't right, fix it and move to the next space.

Somewhere a little over halfway through, I'll get a run of energy. I'll usually stay in whatever room I'm in and just keep moving stuff, cleaning, straightening up, doing whatever needs done. At some point, I'll notice that I'm running out of energy. At that point, I'll finish whatever single task I'm doing in that area, and go through the rest of the place, fixing one thing in every room.

path: 0 26406728 26407442, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0
daychilde 4 points 4 hours ago

I meantioned elsewhere, but I will sometimes break it down so far as to say "I'll walk in the kitchen and look at it. Adn if I turn around immediately, that's okay, I tried." and that doesn't always work.

But I need to do dishes right now, so I'm going to do just that after hitting reply on this and see if I can go unload the dishwasher. Will I load it again? We'll see, but i'm taking a couple of dirty dishes in there with me as I go. So it'll be progress, no matter how tiny.

edit: dishes unloaded, dishwasher loaded and started, whee

path: 0 26406728 26411844, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
BevsDad 2 points 6 hours ago

This is also what I do. Have a one item todo list and have it be a success if that task gets done.

path: 0 26406728 26410697, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
BigDaddySlim 13 points 12 hours ago

I'll start with "move the mugs to the kitchen" but see something else that needs done on the way, stop and do that and forget where I set down the mugs to do that other task. From there I'll go pee, realize the soap dispenser needs refilling, see that the refill bottle is low and go write down hand soap on the shopping list on the kitchen whiteboard. Then I'll realize I was gonna bring the mugs into the kitchen, but then remember I also needs to vacuum the kitchen. Uh oh, vacuum is full lemme empty that, uh oh trash is full gotta empty that, and so on and so on.

At this point it's after 5pm and I remember I haven't ate anything all day.

So no, that doesn't work for me lol

path: 0 26406961, hotness: undefined, score: 13, children: 2
mlatu 3 points 12 hours ago

i think the most important bit is: you finish it before picking up another task.

it shouldn't be anything to arduous nor should it be bullshit.

and if on the way, one finds there is more to do, thats just the todolist flying by, it will still be there when the current task is finished... and i can see it can be difficult carrying five mugs to the kitchen when encountering another group of five mugs somewhere in the house..... or something worse... but its important one finishes at least that one originally set task

path: 0 26406961 26407199, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
Azzu 2 points 10 hours ago

Umm, I'm sorry, but it sounds exactly like it's working? You're getting stuff that needs to be done, done, that it's not exactly the thing you started out with doesn't really matter, does it? If you do it like this, no matter what you do exactly at any point, eventually you're done with everything.

I have ADHD and that's exactly how I manage it, I simply stopped caring about specifics and just that I did something, if I went to the bathroom to pee, refilled the soap dispenser, and forget what I was doing originally, that's just a win in my book, I refilled the soap dispenser.

path: 0 26406961 26408104, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
drkt 13 points 11 hours ago

Yes, but not because I don't know where to start or feel overwhelmed. It's just a lot easier to carry the momentum once you're up and moving. If vacuuming feels overwhelming, avoid putting it in the back of the closet so you have to work just to begin, and avoid starting with it!

The purpose of this strategy, which applies to everything, is simply to carry momentum. Get off your chair and look out the window for a minute. Now you're standing up, might as well grab that dirty plate and move it to the sink. It's right there, it's so easy. Well, since you're up and about, might as well take out the trash. When you get back, your legs are in motion and exercised so you might as well grab the vacuum that you placed so conveniently.

Neurotypical people who write these type of hacks (OP pic) tend to think we're all the same, and because it worked for one person they told it to, that it should work for all of us.

path: 0 26407697, hotness: undefined, score: 13, children: 5
BlindPenguin 3 points 7 hours ago

I got around vacuuming by getting a robot to do it for me. The Chinese may now see my dick, but that's a sacrifice i'm willing to make.

path: 0 26407697 26409500, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
Australis13 3 points 9 hours ago

Autistic inertia is real.

path: 0 26407697 26408595, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
schipelblorp 3 points 5 hours ago

The podcast If Books Could Kill covered Atomic Habits, and they had a similar critique: They thought it would be helpful for exactly the kind of person that really wouldn't need to buy a book about it, and useless to everyone else.

path: 0 26407697 26411344, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
NihilsineNefas 3 points 11 hours ago

This method also really helps when you're the "Why did I get up? What was I going to do?" Type.

You might forget why you got up, but you take the opportunity to do one of the things that needs doing.

The mantra of "no empty hands no empty trips" helped me; if I'm up from my desk I'll take any mugs to the kitchen, I'll grab a drink while in the kitchen, might as well do the bins, but if I'm doing the kitchen bins, I might as well do the whole lot and take them out. Then suddenly one of the bigger cleaning jobs is done, all because I wanted to get a drink.

path: 0 26407697 26407815, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
Lauchmelder 2 points 11 hours ago

I feel this a lot. On weekends, often times I wake up with a burst of productive energy which I can channel in tidying up the flat, cleaning the kitchen, the bathroom, doing laundry etc. This keeps up for a couple hours before the momentum starts to fade.

I have always relied on this "magical" momentum boost, but I'll definitely try conjuring the momentum up via this "trick"

path: 0 26407697 26407760, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
cuerdo 11 points 9 hours ago

Step 1 read this post

Step 2 continue reading, maybe there are other great tips

Step 3 whatever

path: 0 26408796, hotness: undefined, score: 11, children: 1
myyass 1 point 6 hours ago

Step 4 Went to take a nap

path: 0 26408796 26410429, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
psycotica0 11 points 6 hours ago

It doesn't work for me, because I know the plan. I know the intention is for this to create a cascade that results in lots of stuff happening, and so carrying the mug inherits the load of all that's intended to come after.

I don't like getting fooled, even if it's by myself, so I do nothing, like a fool.

path: 0 26410492, hotness: undefined, score: 11, children: 2
schipelblorp 3 points 5 hours ago

It reminds me of a lot of simple diet advice, like smaller portions or subsititutions with less fat or sugar.

Do they think our bodies are stupid?

path: 0 26410492 26411305, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
whimsy 1 point 11 minutes ago

I don't like getting fooled, even if it's by myself, so I do nothing, like a fool.

I also have this honestly very frustrating mindset. All this inaction and foresight is really fucking hard to get rid of sadly. I hate it

path: 0 26410492 26415905, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
SkyezOpen 10 points 7 hours ago

I take the mugs to the kitchen. The sink is full. I should put stuff in the dishwasher. The dishwasher is full. I should empty it. This will take a while, I should put on something to listen to on YouTube. Oh that's an interesting short. Doomscroll for an hour. Oh yeah mugs.

path: 0 26409603, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 1
CompactFlax 1 point 5 hours ago

Precisely.

path: 0 26409603 26411149, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
Arcanepotato 6 points 2 hours ago

To fix your deficit of executive function, simply have executive function!

Real talk, lists of steps and small tasks making up a whole is super helpful to me, but that needs to be generated outside of the moment..

path: 0 26413762, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
antianarchist 5 points 4 hours ago

Wtf that’s a fix for procrastination, not ADHD. With ADHD I take the cups and want to put them into the kitchen, see that the plant needs water, put the cups down to get the watering can. I get the watering can, fill it with water and on my way to the plant I see that I left the window open, go to the window to close it and put the watering can down.

The whole inventory is constantly on the move.

path: 0 26412628, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 3
KeenFlame 1 point an hour ago

Kind of, but you dismiss the fact that they are ever so slightly closer to their destination. Well.. more often than not, at least :) but it's not exactly a cheat code. More like a very basic strat that at least isn't net negative.

(Btw, you probably bash yourself too hard and miss celebrating small steps forward, but it's just a feeling. Pun intended.)

path: 0 26412628 26415067, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 2
antianarchist 2 points 38 minutes ago

Don’t worry, I am absolutely happy with how I live my life and I have accepted my traits years ago. But it is very kind of you to address it.

path: 0 26412628 26415067 26415470, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1
KeenFlame 1 point 32 minutes ago

Excellent! That makes my day. Just curious, how do you handle food? Like, insertion of nutrients every so often.

path: 0 26412628 26415067 26415470 26415576, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
FatVegan 3 points 7 hours ago

It does work for me. What's even worse, once i got going, i'm like: i'll do that too, and that. Then i think: wow this is actually fun, next time i'll just do it. But then next time comes and i'm back at square one.

path: 0 26409595, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
sorter_plainview 3 points 11 hours ago

Nope. Nothing beats a well structured plan. But I don't know why, the plan apways get screwed in the very first step. Then I go back to planninh again. And the cycle continues.

path: 0 26407673, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
tyler 3 points 12 hours ago

No that doesn’t work for me either.

path: 0 26407069, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
ironhydroxide 3 points 2 hours ago

Yup I collect mugs and take them to the kitchen, it takes multiple trips. While in the kitchen on the second trip I see a piece of mail that needs to go to the desk, I take it to the desk. While at the desk I see the jacket that needs to go to the coat hook, I take it to the coat hook. While there I realize I'm thirsty and go get a mug of tea. I take that to the desk and forget that I'm cleaning up mugs and the day is over.

Go to bed and realize I've practically made no dent in what needs done. But I worked all day.

path: 0 26414599, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
Crashumbc 2 points 5 hours ago

Another "just do this! Fix". Given by some one who obviously never had ADHD and has no clue what it's like..

path: 0 26411009, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1
daychilde 3 points 4 hours ago

Considering the fact that I have had it work sometimes for myself (as I noted in another comment, I sometimes have to break the task into even much smaller pieces than that, and it still doesn't work a majority of the time), have read others - even in this very post who say it works for them - I think your comment is quite unfair.

Does it not work for you at all? That's fair. Does your experience mean it doesn't work for anyone and is therefore worthless? Most definitely not.

path: 0 26411009 26411803, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
Whats_your_reasoning 2 points 6 hours ago

I wish this was how it was taught to me as a kid. "Clean your room" always felt like an overwhelming task and I never knew where to start. How much easier life could've been if my mom had tried to show me how to do things, in steps like this, instead of expecting me to somehow figure everything out myself (and then getting upset because I didn't.)

path: 0 26410812, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
TheTechnician27 2 points 13 hours ago path: 0 26406821, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
DaedalousIlios 2 points an hour ago

I take this a step further: a "clean room" is an abstract, subjective end-goal, it is not a task in and of itself.

Picking up the laundry, clearing out the dishes, and organizing the bookshelf, are tasks. And they needn't be done all at once so long as the progress outpaces the entropy of what cleanliness you have accomplished.

path: 0 26415318, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
Kolanaki 2 points 2 hours ago

It doesn't help me at all for me, because it's not that the overall job is overwhelming; I am stuck not doing it because there is a problem with my executive function. I can break it down into smaller tasks and still not ever start the smaller tasks no matter how much I want to.

path: 0 26414334, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
xylol 2 points 10 hours ago

This is why I only have one mug

path: 0 26408169, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
HubertManne 2 points 3 hours ago

My only problem with this hack is it acts as crutch into. This task takes a lot of thought and is overwelming so im just going to do simple housework stuff because it needs to get done to even though the other thing REALLY needs to get done. But I hate it.

path: 0 26412753, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
NepGinger 2 points 4 hours ago

I do five things at a time - take 2 mugs to the kitchen, put 3 things in the dishwasher. Or take 4 things out of the dishwasher, and fold 1 piece of laundry. Every episode or chapter or hour (insert something that works for you) I do one round. If I get more enthusiastic or energetic, I might do 5 per room or category. It works for me because that's all I need to do for now, and the rest will come later. The tendency is to do the easiest first, which actually cleans up most of the clutter. Trash, dishes, and laundry are the quickest way to get to 5, so I am done in about 2 minutes for the first 'rounds'.

Basically, it's a simple homemade form of gamification :)

path: 0 26411812, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
webghost0101 2 points 5 hours ago

I dont keep mugs in my bedroom.

I can’t find my washing basket.

path: 0 26410997, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
IanTwenty 1 point 2 hours ago path: 0 26413915, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
Steve 1 point 11 hours ago

Yes. I do one of those little things every week or so. I haven't noticed any real progress.

path: 0 26407566, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
futurefossil 1 point 5 hours ago

Put the mugs in the kitchen but then your brain chooses its own adventure

path: 0 26411154, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1
DarkDarkHouse 1 point 5 hours ago

I just keep walking around with my hands full like some sort of roomba until there's nothing left to move from one place to another (or until I get tired)

path: 0 26411154 26411315, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
daychilde 1 point 4 hours ago

Sometimes, yes. But sometimes breaking it down has to be broken down to literally the level of "Get up and go into the room and if you go that and look around and go back out immediately, that's okay". And I have done that. Walked into the room, said "Not today!" and walked right back out.

…But not always. Sometimes I walk into the room and I'm able to do a thing, even a little thing.

path: 0 26411760, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
thedeadwalking4242 1 point 2 hours ago

You can't trick me!!

path: 0 26414297, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
KeenFlame 1 point an hour ago

Nah. If it was that easy it would never become an issue in the first place. However, any protip can work if it gives you a bit of inspiration so no shade. But for me, just habitualizing bringing stuff with me that doesn't belong in that room or place when i walk around, has made me slowly and steadily achieve a state where cleaning is less overwhelming. Well, that and audiobooks. That's also the singular most powerful tool I have heard others praise. Audiobooks is a honest cheat code but I suspect most people here knew that already. But just in case someone tries it from this: you're welcome ;)

path: 0 26415010, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
Signtist 1 point an hour ago

The underlying idea is sound, but it's written by someone who doesn't understand that "collect all the mugs and take them to the kitchen" is still too large of a step. Take one mug, and don't even think about next steps until that's done. If you want to continue, great. If not, don't push yourself.

Repeat tomorrow with another mug and see if you're feeling up to more. So long as you're doing something - anything - every day, you're building up a sustainable low-stress routine that, while ineffective at actually cleaning your room at first, can eventually be built up to something effective.

If you start with something effective but stressful, then it gets abandoned - get the routine established first, then tie effective actions to it slowly enough to prevent it from ever becoming stressful.

path: 0 26415061, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
autism
autism

@lemmy.world

login for more options
10497
2335
3540

This is a community for people with Autism to be themselves. All neurotypes are welcome.

Community: ::: spoiler Values

  • Acceptance
  • Openness
  • Understanding
  • Equality
  • Reciprocity
  • Mutuality
  • Love :::
Rules
  1. No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments e.g: racism, sexism, religious hatred, homophobia, gatekeeping, trolling.
  2. Posts do not need be related to autism, off-topic discussions are allowed. This is a safe space where people with autism can feel comfortable discussing whatever they feel like discussing, as long as it does not violate the standing rules.
  3. Do not request donations.
  4. Be respectful in discussions.
  5. Do not post misinformation.
  6. Mark NSFW content accordingly.
  7. Do not promote Autism Speaks.
  8. General Lemmy World rules.
  9. No bots. Humans only.
Encouraged
  1. Open acceptance of all autism levels as a respectable neurotype.
  2. Funny memes.
  3. Respectful venting.
  4. Describe posts of pictures/memes using text in the body for our visually impaired users.
  5. Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
  6. Questions regarding autism.
  7. Questions on confusing situations.
  8. Seeking and sharing support.
  9. Engagement in our community's values.
  10. Expressing a difference of opinion without directly insulting another user.
  11. Please report questionable posts and let the mods deal with it.

.

Helpful Resources

go to feed...