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It's a very rare find

a year ago by The Picard Maneuver to c/funny

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Hux 126 points a year ago

Rare texts are kinda my jam, a few highlights in my collection:

  • A signed first edition of the Necronomicon (it still screams and bleeds)

  • An early draft of the 10 commandments (before it got narrowed down to just 10)

  • The treatise between cats and dogs that lead to cats getting litter boxes and dogs getting walks

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path: 0 17322757, hotness: undefined, score: 126, children: 10
Phil_in_here 84 points a year ago

"The lord has given unto you these 15 —"

crash

"... 10 commandments!"

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DragonTypeWyvern 10 points a year ago

There are in fact 21 listed Commandments btw

The first eleven (which it says are ten) listed in Exodus are different from the ones commonly repeated from Deuteronomy and are mostly about ensuring the comfort and power of the priest class through tithing

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SolOrion 31 points a year ago

Crazy that they removed the screaming from subsequent editions of the Necronomicon. Nowadays it's gone through so many revisions new copies don't even bleed. Sometimes the modern special editions will whimper a bit, but that's all you get.

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Thassodar 15 points a year ago

Finding a untainted (no gooning!) virgin is near impossible, so getting the books to even give off an evil aura is next to impossible.

Also, since the 3rd Cosmic Revelation, there's no requirement to sign a pact with Cthulhu to print a copy, so quality control has dropped significantly.

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alci 5 points a year ago

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Hux 5 points a year ago

Oh man, when French Jesus turns water into wine, you know it’s good…

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Cethin 1 point a year ago

Some people deserve to be ripped off. It seems like this guy didn't even try to make it convincing, yet they still sold.

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Rookwood 5 points a year ago

FYI, a treatise is not the same as a treaty.

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FauxPseudo 3 points a year ago

It was a long time ago and they were just guessing at what written language was even going to look like. That they got it in perfect English minus one word is remarkable.

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Hux 1 point a year ago

Don’t tell them that

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NotAGamer 73 points a year ago

I didn't know such a stupid line existed because I didn't watch such a stupid movie.

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MonkderVierte 11 points a year ago

How can you all enjoy eating something you know gives you the shit?

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GeeDubHayduke 62 points a year ago

Little known fact: the author of The Iliad and the voice actor of Poochie the Dog are the same person!

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dumbass 32 points a year ago

Holy shit, Dan Castellaneta wrote The Iliad!?

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zipzoopaboop 5 points a year ago

He does so much extra work, I figured he would have fuck you money from Simpsons as it is

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wjrii 53 points a year ago

If anybody's wondering... (Youtube link)

Also, ooof. Not that this looks to be a fine piece of cinema, but the writer didn't put this into the script, the director did. Apparently it's an 1884 printing of an 1853 edition of a 1720 translation (Pope's), so in no way whatsoever is it first edition of, well, anything. Maybe the worst part of it is that there was absolutely no reason to linger over the title. They never even say the name of the book.

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sangriaferret 9 points a year ago

Someone in the props department snuck in a joke.

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Zagorath 7 points a year ago

The description says "psychological thriller", but the cinematography is giving me "Netflix romcom".

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fckreddit 50 points a year ago

That's nothing. I have a signed first edition of The Epic of Gilgamesh.

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UnderpantsWeevil 22 points a year ago

Flinging stones on a beach and I did come across some old pots with a 300th anniversary signed copy of The Torah.

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ChaoticNeutralCzech 8 points a year ago

Let me know if the missing verses just randomly perished, were deemed "publisher-unfriendly" or never have been written.

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fckreddit 2 points a year ago

Oh those. They had to scratched off for being 'inappropriate'.

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wjrii 8 points a year ago

Probably just mixed in with your correspondence regarding copper ingots.

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svcg 50 points a year ago

To my darling Candy.

All characters portrayed within this book are fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

Homer.

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Imgonnatrythis 34 points a year ago

I've heard that it's really not worth that much unless Homer signed his last name too which apparently was pretty rare.

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thatKamGuy 9 points a year ago

I’m more curious as to what his middle initial J. stands for.. d’oh!

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DasFaultier 6 points a year ago

It's Jay, icydk. :-D

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thatKamGuy 15 points a year ago

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maniacalmanicmania 31 points a year ago

This might beat the scene in The Passion of the Christ where Jesus invents the dining table with chairs.

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ZeroGravitas 47 points a year ago

Reminds me of that great classic:

  • Table for 26?

  • But... You're with 13 people.

  • Yes, but we like to sit on the same side of the table.

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UnderpantsWeevil 6 points a year ago

Technically, he doesn't invent them. He's just riding the trend.

Also, probably the best scene in that movie.

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maniacalmanicmania 2 points a year ago

A bit more nuanced then I remembered.

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FinalRemix 3 points a year ago

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Revan343 3 points a year ago

He most likely wasn't a carpenter at all, the Greek just says 'builder'. Probably a stone mason

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baines 4 points a year ago

so you are saying Jesus was a stoner?

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FinalRemix 2 points a year ago

That explains the awful table.

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FauxPseudo 21 points a year ago

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Rachelhazideas 21 points a year ago

Left end of the bell curve: wow signed first edition of the Illiad is so rare

Middle of the bell curve: haha she's stupid because Homer is from ancient Greece

Right end of the bell curve: wow signed first edition of the Illiad is so rare

(The Illiad as a modern translated work can have multiple editions from an author)

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DragonTypeWyvern 28 points a year ago

Actual Right End: that's not what you'd refer to as a first edition of The Illiad, unless you're an idiot

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FordBeeblebrox 17 points a year ago

I can get you a signed edition of the Bible right now as long as you don’t care which company printed it or who signs it

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Anomalocaris 3 points a year ago

buy bible, sign out myself, eBay, profit

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bane_killgrind 3 points a year ago

Which Pope?

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FauxPseudo 5 points a year ago

Alexander Pope.

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DragonTypeWyvern 3 points a year ago

Original Author

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Jhex 2 points a year ago

op said first edition, not signed

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DragonTypeWyvern 2 points a year ago

They just a word

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FordBeeblebrox 2 points a year ago

Ok, pick a scroll any scroll

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sugar_in_your_tea 1 point a year ago

I can do a first edition of the Bible. No guarantees on which edition though.

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BradleyUffner 2 points a year ago

Or which edition it is.

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Donkter 2 points a year ago

Further right of the bell curve than you just to win the silly semantics game you're playing: if you're calling it "The Illiad" and not "Ἰλιάς" you are defacto referring to the book titled "The Illiad" which is the English translation which indeed had a much more recent publication date than the original work.

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Rachelhazideas 0 points a year ago

You say, as you spell 'The Illiad' in English, the earliest instance of which was translated in the 1600s.

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DragonTypeWyvern 0 points a year ago

Nice self report

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NigelFrobisher 3 points a year ago

She obviously meant the first edition Penguin classics paperback.

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Madison420 3 points a year ago

Actual bell curve: a eugenics source book also the basis for Idiocracy so you decide I guess.

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bnrnrtbgd 18 points a year ago

What's like the coolest, most impressive literary book you can think of? But it has to be something most idiots will recognize.

I don't know, The Iliad?

Awesome. I need a rare book for this screenplay I'm writing. "First edition, signed copy..."

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absentbird 8 points a year ago

This is an AI style blunder.

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Anomalocaris 1 point a year ago

every copy can be a signed copy, just get a pen

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NigelFrobisher 17 points a year ago

Glasses make you more clever. This is why I wear a higher prescription than I actually need.

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ameancow 5 points a year ago

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LadyButterfly 17 points a year ago

I just googled this is actually in the film. The mind boggles

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ICastFist 16 points a year ago

Wow, and here I thought the writer of that book, Homer Simpson, didn't exist!!

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captain_aggravated 15 points a year ago

Wow, a Methuselah rookie card!

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FenderStratocaster 14 points a year ago

I have a signed copy of the Bible.

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vaguerant 15 points a year ago

To my darling Candy. All characters portrayed within this book are fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

(Joke stolen from Red Dwarf series 2, episode 2, "Better Than Life".)

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floofloof 4 points a year ago

You have to be careful with those. I heard that YHWH has whole sweatshops full of elves copying his signature, and they sell these Bibles to tourists to raise money for yacht parties ("YHWH YCHT PRTY YOLO NSFW IRL!!!").

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HowAbt2day 13 points a year ago

She keeps that copy near the toilet so that she has a light read on hand for those post-Taco Bell sweat inducing shits.

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dharmacurious 11 points a year ago

That's nothin', can't beat my signed first draft of the Mahabharata, before it was ever even sent to an editor!

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whereisk 9 points a year ago

I’m also in possession of original hand-written letters by Jesus Christ himself, inside the original envelope complete with the “par avion” stamp that my neighbour gifted me.

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atlien51 7 points a year ago

What’s that about ?

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Phen 7 points a year ago

She meant "the IIL AD", but the Is and Ls were hard to read. It was a book about the year 48 AD, in Rome. It was written by her cousin Ilias, from Illinois.

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ettyblatant 7 points a year ago

Jesus actually wrote a book! I got it, he signed it. His cursive is really becoming

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rhythmisaprancer 6 points a year ago

Well this could make for a great "your mama" joke.

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SCmSTR 5 points a year ago

Wait what.. that makes no sense. I haven't seen this movie; was it a satire or like a fourth wall break or some sort of a joke?

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Meltdown 3 points a year ago

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