lugal 75 points 5 months ago

You forgot "We use JIRA so we are agile now. I assigned all tickets so get to work and be done at the end of the week sprint"

path: 0 23972849, hotness: undefined, score: 75, children: 2

Madrigal 37 points 5 months ago

The one I like is “we have no fucking idea what we’re trying to build other than a vague problem statement, so start testing already. This is Agile.”

save

path: 0 23972849 23974590, hotness: undefined, score: 37, children: 1

red_tomato 29 points 5 months ago

”Our plan is to continuously make up new shit along the way and hope we eventually get something we can deliver”

save

path: 0 23972849 23974590 23975044, hotness: undefined, score: 29, children: 0

merc 24 points 5 months ago

On that subject, does anybody hate the term "Sprint" as much as I do?

"Sprints" are extremely quick events that last tens of seconds and are done at most once a day, but more often (in competition) a few times a month, or a few times in a day every few months.

You don't sprint for a full week every week. That's a marathon, maybe an ultra-marathon.

save

path: 0 23986700, hotness: undefined, score: 24, children: 7

SoulKaribou 9 points 5 months ago

The theory being that the team rushes to complete the prioritised items. Also in theory if you close all items before end of the sprint, you are free to not work, or work on pet project at your own pace.

Of course middle management hates the idea of others being idle so they asked to squeeze the last part. Efficiency, baby !

save

path: 0 23986700 23994584, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 3

merc 3 points 5 months ago

Sure, it might seem like a sprint compared to a Waterfall project where it's a marathon, where there might be months between points where you check in with the plan and try to figure out if the software is ready to ship yet.

I still just object to the word "sprint". Any job where you're sprinting over and over, week after week, where that's the main thing you're doing, you're doing something wrong.

save

path: 0 23986700 23994584 23997124, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 2

seblin 2 points 4 months ago

Yea it's why I use the word cycle. In a meeting and the PM says "can we bring this in next sprint?" I reply "not sure about the next cycle, but after that one for sure.". So far I've been subtly nudging multiple people to shift away from using the word sprint

save

path: 0 23986700 23994584 23997124 24061430, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1

merc 2 points 4 months ago

Good job, may your quest succeed.

save

path: 0 23986700 23994584 23997124 24061430 24068441, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

daeraxa 7 points 5 months ago

We had a bunch of simultaneous 'sprints' that went on for over a year...

save

path: 0 23986700 23993311, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 2

merc 8 points 5 months ago

What makes it so annoying to me is that a sprint implies putting in maximum effort for a short time. The pace of a sprint is unsustainable over more than a few seconds.

If you say you did "sprints" for over a year... no you didn't. Either you sprinted for a little bit and then had to walk for a while because you'd used up all your energy. Or, you jogged at a sustainable pace for a year and just called it a sprint.

save

path: 0 23986700 23993311 23993692, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 1

daeraxa 3 points 5 months ago

Oh absolutely. It wasn't even close to being sparkling chaos, let alone Agile. What we had as 'sprints' would be more accurate as Epics. The whole thing was insane but they stuck with the terminology...

save

path: 0 23986700 23993311 23993692 24000151, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

bignose 21 points 5 months ago

Screenshotting a text post on the Fediverse, to post an opaque image on the Fediverse.

The post was right there to be shared.

save

path: 0 23981410, hotness: undefined, score: 21, children: 9

mogoh 7 points 5 months ago

Ok, but could one cross post a mastodon toot to lemmy?

save

path: 0 23981410 23983558, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 8

vodka 8 points 5 months ago

If you tag a lemmy community in a mastodon toot it posts to the community.

Dunno if there's a way to repost other people's toots to lemmy though, never tried

save

path: 0 23981410 23983558 23983635, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 7

merc 2 points 5 months ago

Tag it how?

save

path: 0 23981410 23983558 23983635 23986610, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 6

vodka 7 points 5 months ago

Same way you'd tag a user on lemmy, just tagging the community instead.

@community@instance.url

I've never tried it myself, but I've seen it been done a couple times

save

path: 0 23981410 23983558 23983635 23986610 23987575, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 5

applebusch 11 points 5 months ago

save

path: 0 23980566, hotness: undefined, score: 11, children: 13

fibojoly 7 points 5 months ago

I did have actual stand ups once, after coming back from China and all I could think of was "shit I hope they don't make us sing the corp's anthem at the end!" like they do over there...

save

path: 0 23980566 23981830, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 7

Mikrochip 4 points 5 months ago

Wait, do they seriously have corporate anthems in China? I thought that only happened in the sprawl trilogy o.O

save

path: 0 23980566 23981830 23982699, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 1

fibojoly 1 point 4 months ago

I don't know exactly what they sing, but yeah, singing together before a shift starts is fairly common over there. Used to see the delivery men do it before taking off for the day. Same with the local estate agent branch down the street where I lived.

save

path: 0 23980566 23981830 23982699 24030776, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

prole 3 points 5 months ago

Kind of like what they do at Walmart?

save

path: 0 23980566 23981830 23984127, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 1

fibojoly 1 point 4 months ago

I did not know that. But it reeks so much of corpo team building I would not be surprised in the least. Do they do that out on the street, though? My first thought when I saw this was "oh, that must be the hazing for the new recruits! How amusing!"
It was not. It was a daily thing.

save

path: 0 23980566 23981830 23984127 24030821, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

jade52 2 points 5 months ago

Please explain this corporate anthem further....

save

path: 0 23980566 23981830 23984185, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 2

fibojoly 1 point 4 months ago

I dunno exactly what they sang, but yeah, they would absolutely sing something at the beginning of the day, lined up on the pavement outside their office, with the manager directing like some sort of corpo choral. I guess it's one of those team building things...

save

path: 0 23980566 23981830 23984185 24030801, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1

jade52 1 point 4 months ago

Thanks, I hate it.

save

path: 0 23980566 23981830 23984185 24030801 24032828, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

merc 5 points 5 months ago

Especially when they're called "standups" but everybody sits down because they typically last an hour or so.

save

path: 0 23980566 23986627, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 3

bignose 4 points 5 months ago

Yet another way that the good ideas from Agile got crushed to meaninglessness by Business Idiocy.

The whole point of the “stand up meeting” is, by forcing everyone to stand together, to encourage everyone to keep it brief and to the point, so it benefits everyone without sucking their time.

save

path: 0 23980566 23986627 23996651, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 2

bignose 3 points 5 months ago

Of course, that works only when everyone's in the same room. I don't have a good replacement for teams that connect remotely.

save

path: 0 23980566 23986627 23996651 23996659, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 1

deadbeef79000 1 point 5 months ago

We have a NeatBoard that's configured for Zoom. So our stand ups are in front of this TV thing and it works well for us.

Then again, our stand ups are short and to the point. We're closer to kanban than scrum.

save

path: 0 23980566 23986627 23996651 23996659 23998026, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

deathmetal27 2 points 5 months ago

For you perhaps but for the scrum master it helps identify whether the sprint is on track and whether there are any new discoveries/realities identified during the previous days work that might impact the Sprint's goals.

This is fundamental to the emperical nature of scrum: there is no improvement without inspection.

save

path: 0 23980566 23996278, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

marcos 9 points 5 months ago

It's agile if the plan is constantly reviewed with every new information in mind and you can change what you are working in to better implement it.

If you do do Scrum, that's almost never the case.

save

path: 0 23977045, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 2

StenSaksTapir 6 points 5 months ago

I had the misfortune of working under SAFE – Scalee agile or something. It was waterfall wearing a festive and extremely expensive Agile mask.

I think more than 60 devs all working in the same codebase, a trading platform, and doing planning sprints individually, playing planning poker to estimate feature of features of features up to three months in the future. Most ridiculous thing I ever participated in and that says a lot.

save

path: 0 23977045 23981231, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 1

AliasVortex 3 points 5 months ago

I'm not super fond of SAFE either

waterfall wearing a festive and extremely expensive Agile mask.

Is exactly the experience I had in my last two shops.

save

path: 0 23977045 23981231 23982585, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

thedeadwalking4242 6 points 5 months ago

From experience most hate from project management systems come from people just don't understand it and implement it poorly. Usually the miss the point. Unfortunately those are the people who need the structure the most.

save

path: 0 23984072, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 1

cbazero 0 points 5 months ago

The 'hate' is the obvious observation that most forms of project management do and can not work while they are done over and over again with the non-argument 'If it does not work, you are not doing it right'.

save

path: 0 23984072 23998838, hotness: undefined, score: 0, children: 0

hakunawazo 5 points 5 months ago

save

path: 0 23999038, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

stickyprimer 5 points 5 months ago

ah-jee-lay… must be Italian!

save

path: 0 23989397, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

Takapapatapaka 3 points 5 months ago

Is there such a thing as a region called Agile in france? Or am i missing out the point of the joke?

save

path: 0 23973037, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 8

Peereboominc 19 points 5 months ago

I guess it is a reference to champagne. If wine does not come from the region "Champagne" it is not allowed to be called Champagne but just white wine. Even if it tastes just the same.

save

path: 0 23973037 23973224, hotness: undefined, score: 19, children: 5

alastel 15 points 5 months ago

just white wine

Come on you're going to hurt the wine snobs with this statement. Champagne is a sparkling wine, it doesn't taste like any white wine. It's more like a bitter Sprite with alcohol in it.

save

path: 0 23973037 23973224 23975669, hotness: undefined, score: 15, children: 0

bitjunkie 13 points 5 months ago

Same with Cognac and Armagnac. And Port. And probably a bunch of others.

save

path: 0 23973037 23973224 23974976, hotness: undefined, score: 13, children: 2

Sphks 17 points 5 months ago

https://en.wikipedia.org/...

save

path: 0 23973037 23973224 23974976 23975274, hotness: undefined, score: 17, children: 1

bitjunkie 4 points 5 months ago

Interesting, thanks!

save

path: 0 23973037 23973224 23974976 23975274 23975353, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0

Takapapatapaka 4 points 5 months ago

Oooh ok thx a lot!

save

path: 0 23973037 23973224 23973802, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0

Deebster 10 points 5 months ago

It's a meme format (a snowclone), of the form "It's only X if it comes from the X region of France, otherwise it's just sparking Y". The original was talking about Champagne (and sparkling wine), which is why it's France.

There's lots of versions out there, of varying quality.

save

path: 0 23973037 23978898, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 1

Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In 2 points 5 months ago

I think the "region of France" section is optional. As long as it has the punchline "otherwise it's just sparkling" Y

save

path: 0 23973037 23978898 23983740, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

belunos 2 points 5 months ago

save

path: 0 23982728, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

fibojoly 1 point 5 months ago

So that's Agile AOP then.

save

path: 0 23981800, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

Rules

Rules