Masturbation among birds is ‘natural’ and should not be punished, say experts
4 months ago by aarch0x40 to c/nottheonion
Researchers historically tended to assume birds either did not masturbate or did so only under the stress of captivity ... Accounts from hobbyists revealed that some owners had sought veterinary help when they caught their birds masturbating, fearing the animals might hurt themselves.
I would have just assumed they were preening...
Tomato, tomato.
No, that's never happened to me. Got humped by a lot of dogs as a kid though. I thought they were just hugging me so I was confused when the adults yelled at them...
People are HORRIBLE with birds. Even the ones that pretend to love them treat them like trash.
And then there's the fuckers that think that their views of the world matters more than anything else, and will punish masturbation because animals don't feel pleasure so it shouldn't be allowed, will punish them for having gay couples because gay shouldn't exist and especially not in animals (else how can you say your main homophobic argument of "gay is unnatural, only degenerate humans do it"), will starve them for "training" purposes, and don't get me started on the diets, environment safety and cage sizes.
There's a reason why the life expectancy of birds doesn't increase in captivity. People are really, really horrible with birds, and the more I read about people who "care" about birds the worse I feel for their birds.
Being gay is unnatural, that's why you never saw a gay goat!
Actually, goats are unnatural. But you never saw a gay frog!
Actually, that's Big Pharma making the frogs gay. But you never saw a gay bird!
Gay isn't something one can see.
My browsing history disagrees.
“folk husbandry often advises bird keepers to discourage or punish this behaviour, sometimes even resorting to surgery and hormonal interventions,”
TIL there's a cottage industry of preventing bird mastrubation
American Christianity punishes all ideas of enjoying sex, even among animals.
To be fair that's just Catholicism and not American Christianity ™®©.
Don't get me wrong, American Christianity ™®© has its share of pedophiles, possibly even more than catholicism, however it's usually straight because they just believe younger girls are more fertile.
My mind blown
An investigation into acts of self-pleasure among parrots and other birds has reached a climax, with the results providing welcome relief for vets and researchers, not to mention the birds themselves.
Asked if they showed any signs of self-loathing or Catholic guilt, Heys thought not. “I don’t want to say satisfied, but they do look different after they finish. It’s obviously doing something for them.”
Someone was having a little too much fun with this article.
A bird wrote this
PS: Article delivers
An investigation into acts of self-pleasure among parrots and other birds has reached a climax
Typically, males would be “rubbing quite vigorously” on their perch, a toy or a twig, or on their owner’s hand, foot or shoulder
Freaky ass birds.
Hold up. If a bird is bonded to you, and it does it, does it even count as baitin'? Sounds more like it's trying to mate with its mate. Or is bird-jacking fundamentally different? Bird experts... pitch in.
Can you explain why a bird bonded to you from early childhood would also be sexually attracted to you? To humans in general I could understand but why to you, the "parent"? Are birds less opposed to incest?
There's a difference between incest and inbreeding. Opposition to incest, that is sex for pleasure among family members, is a moral position, and apparently unique to humans.
Inbreeding, sex for reproduction, is blocked on a biological level more strongly in some species than others, but it still happens, of course.
In humans, and perhaps other species, there is sometimes sexual disinterest in closely related family members, but this is not "opposition to incest", and certainly is not universal.
Well yeah, inbreeding is what I meant. Didn't actually know there was a difference.
Still, I've read that many animals prefer not to fuck/breed with relatives. Except some pigeons in cities apparently, they prefer their relatives if Wikipedia and my memory of that article is to be believed.
Better phrasing would've probably been "Lack of sexual interest in family".
Not an expert, but I've witnessed something like this. Step mom turned into a strange bird person for her midlife crisis, got an African grey that absolutely hates all females including her, but loves all dude. It dude puff up and squat on your shoulder, but it wouldn't rub anything. Maybe it's different for male birds.
A seagull stole my chip. Are you suggesting I just Let That Go?
Some of them insist upon it, even if you've never SEEN a fucking flog, much less wielded one against a partner.
BirDSM
Perfect timing, I'll have to print out a copy of this article for the court as part of my defense in an upcoming case where it's relevant.
In bird culture, this is considered a cloacal move.
If you’ve ever seen a bird masturbate, you absolutely know what that bird is doing.
Hilarious statement. So if I have never seen a bird masturbate, I would not know what the bird is doing? Wow.
As someone who's never seen a bird masturbate, I assumed it would look like preening. This sentence clarified that it would not look similar.
That's a fallacy: P -> Q does not imply !P -> !Q
However, it does imply !Q -> !P: if you don't know what a bird is doing, you've never seen a bird masturbate.
I dont care if it's natural. im not removing the "no masturbating" sign from our bird feeder.
I agree. Gotta keep the "bird seed" out of the bird seed.
I used to have budgies, one of the males used to chat up his (male) friend whilst perched on my head... and then he'd start grinding away while still on my head
Fortunately he never left a deposit
Freaky little (head) fucker
efforts to intervene, which range from removing perches to hormone treatment and surgery
wtf :(
I believe the politically correct term is "Women". They tend to bitch a lot when you call them "birds".
Oh dude broads hate it when you call 'em chicks
"Dude broads"
i don't ask where you go after 5 pm. i expect the same respect.
Funny how they picked the most pervert-looking bird for the article photo.
Polly want a whacker?
Its lyrics to Polly by Nirvana https://genius.com/Nirvana-polly-lyrics
Then why do I keep getting punished every time I masturbate among birds?
Who the fuck is researching this and what is the process of their information gathering?
Just a bunch of scientists sitting around watching birds goon all day going "ya, this seems perfectly natural!"
Just wait until the GOP (grand old parrots) learn about this.
I'll see myself out.
Why would anyone punish birds for jacking off?
I did but not in US or UK
@lemmy.world
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
go to feed...
@lemmy.world
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
go to feed...
Who was punishing birds for masturbating in the first place? Why!?
save