superweeniehutjrs 132 points 3 months ago

Privatized social security?

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Almacca 84 points 3 months ago

Right? Wtf? Also, Liz Cheney as president would be no picnic either.

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BeardededSquidward 25 points 3 months ago

This is neo-liberal ideals. It's terrible because neo-liberalism itself is terrible.

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musubibreakfast 37 points 3 months ago

You rent each number on your ssn individually, if you miss a payment then you lose a random number. When you only have 1 number left you get sent to an island where you have to kill 8 people. For every person killed you get their respective number, if you manage to kill 8 then your new ssn is composed out of their numbers.

If your new ssn is a duplicate of an existing number then a duel is arranged between you and the existing holder of said number unless either party pays the ssn company 9 million dollars for a new number.

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UnderpantsWeevil 3 points 3 months ago

Who leaked the Michael Bloomberg reform plan?

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Bane_Killgrind 2 points 3 months ago

Yes, and everyone can look up used and empty SSN, so you know what numbers other random island people could be looking for.

The bad guy isn't the government though, it's some random guy that keeps abducting other people instead of killing them, and lets other people get the kill to avoid the 9 mill/duel scenario

The main character is super fine with all of this for some reason, and ends up killing the number cuck, but that's the main characters last number. Main character ends up with the same number as the president of the United States, who for some reason doesn't use the buyout option, probably because he's an asshole.

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terranoid 7 points 3 months ago

Like health insurance i guess

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schildfrosch 2 points 3 months ago

i belive this could be what is often called "satire" or "rage bait"

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JigglySackles 1 point 3 months ago

Privatized anything in the US always leads to enshittified garbage.

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Carmakazi 71 points 3 months ago

Donald Trump is not living until 2035 under any circumstance, unless we symbolically hold his bloated corpse in a supermax.

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jubilationtcornpone 17 points 3 months ago

If we left his remains in the wilderness to be consumed by scavangers, it would probably be his most positive contribution to the world.

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Nomad 0 points 3 months ago

Don't look up "air burial", you have been warned.

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gex 13 points 3 months ago

In 2030 his consciousness is extracted and preserved as a neural network by Peter Thiel in a desperate attempt to control the maga movement. In 2033 it is seized by the FBI, uploaded into a SpaceX orbital data center and locked in geostationary orbit, guaranteeing operation for the next 10,000 years.

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NotSafeForWorld 1 point 3 months ago

It explodes on the launchpad

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dan1101 3 points 3 months ago

Brick it shut and let him rot, it's better than he deserves after all he has done.

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I_Has_A_Hat 1 point 3 months ago

I started asking this a few years ago to people as kind of a joke, but it's less of a joke now:

At what age of Trump still being alive will you go "wait a second..." and start to suspect there is a drug or treatment that the elite have access to that extends their life that they aren't telling the public about?

I don't mean better access to higher quality medical care. I don't mean a personal team of doctors. I mean a drug or treatment that can extend lifespans by decades, even for those who live unhealthy lifestyles.

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Mirshe 2 points 3 months ago

See, here's the thing, we would've heard about it. Trump and all his ilk can't keep their fucking mouths shut and would've been lording this shit over us. Someone would've said SOMETHING, because none of these people can keep a secret.

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I_Has_A_Hat 1 point 3 months ago

Ok, sure. But I want you to answer that question. At what age will you start being suspicious? I want you to have a number in your head, so that when that time comes, you don't ignore it.

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greenbit 1 point 3 months ago

Now

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greenbit 1 point 3 months ago

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fake 1 point 3 months ago

You really think he could keep his mouth shut about it?

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IAMgROOT 56 points 3 months ago

"social security has been privatized"

dems😭😭😭

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Obi 15 points 3 months ago

Yeah that's the odd one out isn't it.

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__Lost__ 11 points 3 months ago

Did you not notice Liz Cheney?

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Obi 11 points 3 months ago

Who? Sorry I'm not American.

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Samsy 2 points 3 months ago

Not American, too. Maybe the daughter of Dick Cheney?

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DarrinBrunner 1 point 3 months ago

Yeah, WTF. Idiots.

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wagesj45 42 points 3 months ago

So many people seem to have missed that this is the shitpost magazine.

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DupaCycki 18 points 3 months ago

There's a difference between a good shitpost, and a nornalpost that is shit. Learn the art, practice the craft.

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KraeuterRoy 26 points 3 months ago

The Fall of Japan is a bit of a surprise

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andyburke 25 points 3 months ago

If Liz Cheney, daughter of shotgun Dicky, is president the US is well and truly fuckin' cooked.

The Overton needs a fucking reset or something. tf is this?

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deft 1 point 3 months ago

Lol right? I know this post is basically bait but jeez

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socsa 22 points 3 months ago

Nice b8 m8

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UnderpantsWeevil 9 points 3 months ago

tips fedora

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DarrinBrunner 18 points 3 months ago

WTF? Stupid fucking neoliberals.

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notsosure 14 points 3 months ago

“And this photo was taken at the south pole visiting center”

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TheDemonBuer 12 points 3 months ago

The liberal dream. (I use liberal in the classical sense. Here in the US - where people don't know what words mean - instead of "liberal" folks here might refer to them as "centrists," "moderates" or "neoliberals." Interesting that neoliberals are somehow not liberals here in the US, even though "liberal" is IN THE DAMN NAME!)

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SGforce 24 points 3 months ago

Why don't we just call a politician by how they act and not by what ideology they pretend to have?

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DagwoodIII 23 points 3 months ago

This.

There are billionaires in the Chinese Communist Party. North Korea calls itself a 'democratic republic.' The Reddest US states are also the ones taking the most money from the Federal government.

Any discussion of political labels outside a classroom is folly.

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TheDemonBuer -1 points 3 months ago

What makes you think they're pretending? Do you think all politicians are ideological nhilisists? That no politician, ever, anywhere, actually adheres to an ideology? Because I'm pretty certain that most do. And I think it matters what ideology guides a politician. I mean, I want to know that before I decide to vote for someone. I want to know what their guiding philosophy is. I think that's important information.

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Garbagio 10 points 3 months ago

Just kill me. I'm tired.

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P1k1e 3 points 3 months ago

stabs rib "Woops" stabs eye "Damnit hang on" stabs foot "How did that even!?"

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BeMoreCareful 8 points 3 months ago

I like those style of lights. If I ever find some cheap enough, I'm going to string them up in my living room and have a picnic.

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Kattiydid 3 points 3 months ago

They were at Costco for 30 bucks when I was there last week

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uriel238 8 points 3 months ago

Liz Cheney being president is not a positive. Non-whites and LGBT+ folk are still fighting for their rights and to get representation. No-bid government contracts are going to big construction and big military instead of big tech. Social programs are still gutted and dying or dead. Big religion dominates education. We're still locked in a war in the Middle East or Asia. The world is still burning while the federal government still refuses to regulate big polluters.

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roserose56 6 points 3 months ago

You wish, look Donald Trump winning the next rigged election and the USA citizens posting more slop politics.

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yilian 6 points 3 months ago

If he lives another nine years I’ll eat my hat.

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EtAl 3 points 3 months ago

He's got weeks. A few months at most.

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LodeMike 5 points 3 months ago

Donald trump isn't making it to 95

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iocase 2 points 3 months ago

He might die before his term is up. The ultimate boomer "fuck you got mine"

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Photonic 3 points 3 months ago

That motherfucker still alive?

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lastlybutfirstly 2 points 3 months ago

My problem with this future is that it doesn't look like people use proper punctuation and stroked lettering to make it easier to read text plastered across a busy background.

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UnderpantsWeevil 1 point 3 months ago

I'd call it the darkest timeline, but putting the timeline in darkmode might improve things.

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webpack 2 points 3 months ago

n then we lwk get cooked by climate change

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UnderpantsWeevil 1 point 3 months ago

At the rate we're going, we might obliterate a significant portion of our fossil fuel economy before that happens.