It won’t matter, Putin won’t accept it anyways. This has happened many times before. Zelenskyy knows how to deal with Trump.

No, this is a good play. It's all bullshit anyway, but it buys Zelenskyy some goodwill if he plays along. It also makes Trump look stupid when he doesn't follow up. There's literally no downsides. The only downside would be if it's real and Putin actually follows it. Neither of these would happen though.

Plot twist, Zelensky agreed it to Trump privately, but refuses to admit it publicly, knowing nobody will believe Trump

Zelensky is in a desperate position :(

I doubt he talked with either

He negotiated it in his head, and is probably surprised that his thinking doesn't equal reality.
The man is completely delusional, he actually thinks he can make things real with his will!
When he claims "only I can fix that", he actually believes it. Because he believes he is the only one with a mind strong enough to will it to happen.

This is a common phenomenon among for instance the very rich and highly positioned CEO's and wall street traders, although generally to a smaller degree, like thinking they can influence how dice fall.
It is also common within religion, like thinking praying actually works, which again turns to things like prosperity gospel, something Trump apparently also believes is true.
And finally it is also something that tend to happen to narcissists.

Trump is all these things, and has been delusional about having "powers" for decades, and his progressing dementia is making it worse.

It's the same mechanism that made Steve Jobs declined to have his cancer treated when it was discovered early enough to have a very high chance of success. He thought he could get rid of it himself somehow. When he finally realized he couldn't, it was too late.

if I read this correctly, it seems that neither russia nor ukraine were involved

just pure halucinated bullshit

Almost certainly not. This is to shift attention from Iran for gas prices increasing I suspect. He's going to say the reason prices have gone up is because Ukraine is bombing Russian refineries (it has technically had an effect), not because of his invasion of Iran. He's going to say he signed a deal with Russia, but prices aren't decreasing quickly because Ukraine broke the ceasefire that he made up.

Assuming I'm right, it's actually a smart move. It only needs to be made because of a bunch of really dumb moves, but this would be smart. Most people, let alone most Americans, don't have a firm grasp on any of this, so the truth doesn't really have much power.

This is so that he can say Ukraine broke the ceasefire when Russia doesn’t observe the fake ceasefire and Ukraine keeps hitting Russian energy targets.

Trump is a Russian asset.

"Have you even told the truth once?"

But then how will insiders trade stock for a massive profit if the news doesn't report what they're fed?

Ukraine would win.

Maybe, but I bet it's more that he's shitting himself over high fuel prices, caused by his illegal war with Iran, and has deluded himself in believing he can market manipulate his way out of Republicans getting destroyed in the midterms.

But unlike the stock market, oil supplies and wars don't magically respond anytime the moron in chief word vomits on the internet.

Haven’t looked it up, but I recall trump saying something along these lines in recent times?

Profit.

his own