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What’s in a name?

3 years ago by nifty to c/programmer_humor

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andyli 139 points 3 years ago

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path: 0 7926891, hotness: undefined, score: 139, children: 3
candyman337 24 points 3 years ago

Good ol' Bobby Tables

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veniasilente 5 points 3 years ago

Thank you! I was getting worried.

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harsh3466 2 points 3 years ago

Came here looking for Little Bobby Tables with the link loaded up in my clipboard!

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Speiser0 81 points 3 years ago

Yes, I'll name my child parent. This will reverse the tree, vertically.

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LinearArray 12 points 3 years ago

It's Sims 2 all over again.

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kibiz0r 11 points 3 years ago

And if they settle on they/them pronouns, you could have an inverted non-binary tree.

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sverit 2 points 3 years ago

It's like naming your dog 'Cat'.

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JackGreenEarth 67 points 3 years ago

What about Alice, Bob, and Eve?

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rockSlayer 36 points 3 years ago

They're currently shaking hands and too busy to let us borrow their names

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whereBeWaldo 7 points 3 years ago

Even if they weren't you wouldn't be able to contact them directly, nowadays they have s man in the middle who handles their communications. badum tss

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Zangoose 1 point 3 years ago

You'll have to settle for naming your child after one of their public keys, but then your child will only be able to talk to them.

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somegeek 52 points 3 years ago

I love you so much NullPointerException

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astraeus 20 points 3 years ago

Oh no, we’ve lost NaN again!

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Michael717 3 points 3 years ago

"don't throw your child please." "Why? What's wrong with it?"

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iAvicenna 40 points 3 years ago

fun fact elif is a legit girl name in Turkish

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Michal 4 points 3 years ago

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iAvicenna 1 point 3 years ago

don't even know what this is but I have been abroad since maybe 2010 so not suprised

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Tixanou 1 point 3 years ago

Lol, my mother used to watch it too

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lugal 35 points 3 years ago

"Pointer, where are you?" Points at Parent, my other child

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over_clox 9 points 3 years ago

OOP issues LOL!

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ICastFist 5 points 3 years ago

Pointer, where is This, your other sibling?

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tsonfeir 5 points 3 years ago

They’re with Self and Construct.

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kibiz0r 2 points 3 years ago

Pointer moved to Hollywood, to become a character star. They had a string of interviews, but it ended in nothing.

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technom 33 points 3 years ago

Why no Ada or Janet? Or Haskell or Idris?

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Tja 9 points 3 years ago

Ada is in fact named after a person, thus completing the circle.

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technom 5 points 3 years ago

So are Haskell and Idris (well, if you consider a singing dragon as a person).

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lhamil64 11 points 3 years ago

Boolean is named after George Boole so that is too, sort of

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alyth 32 points 3 years ago

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peyotecosmico 28 points 3 years ago

You know, OOP in Spanish translates as "Programación orientada a objetos" or POO in case you need it

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alyth 7 points 3 years ago

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Dehydrated 27 points 3 years ago

"Yo shut the fuck up Linked list, you're annoying as hell"

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Railison 26 points 3 years ago

Little baby FORTRAN

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mstrk 26 points 3 years ago

A friend of mine named his dog Byte. The dog is very playful, and has the habit of running in the direction of other people he meets.

When the dog does that my friend tries to call him back shouting: "BYTE!! BYTE!!". People get really scared when this happens 😂

Okay, not so funny if you are the one being approached by the dog.

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Ashen44 12 points 3 years ago

That's probably a little unethical but the mental image is absolutely hilarious.

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geogle 24 points 3 years ago

Meet my kids, Sed and Awk.

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Alfi 19 points 3 years ago

And my dog, Cat.

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Dehydrated 2 points 3 years ago

What about grep and ack?

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geogle 2 points 3 years ago

Those are our names. My parents were Less and More.

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Dehydrated 2 points 3 years ago

I guess head and tail are your grandparents?

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Asudox 22 points 3 years ago

"child" seems to be enough. short and concise.

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zerofk 10 points 3 years ago

“Slave” works too.

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2deck 8 points 3 years ago

child-1 just in case

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dyc3 9 points 3 years ago

Yeah leave em wondering what happened to child-0

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wieson 2 points 3 years ago

Error in line 1: You can't use a reserved symbol in a variable name.

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NegativeLookBehind 21 points 3 years ago

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butmingus 21 points 3 years ago

Definitely naming my next dog Byte.

Edit: Petabyte!

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FrostyCaveman 19 points 3 years ago

Ah yes Julia, an unreasonably effective name to give your child

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TruthAintEasy 16 points 3 years ago

Just name the kid Basic, hardly worse than the Trahgedhieghs running around today

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einlander 5 points 3 years ago

But what if they write sins instead?

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lemmytellyousomething 16 points 3 years ago

Just name your child Linus like we all do...

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astraeus 5 points 3 years ago

His middle names are Tech and Tips, his nickname is Torvalds

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ParsnipWitch 16 points 3 years ago

How could they forget Pascal :/

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SonicBlue03 15 points 3 years ago

This reminded me I haven't heard from my uncle Foo Bar in a while. (He spells it Fubar)

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ICastFist 1 point 3 years ago

Ain't that the right way to spell it?

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SonicBlue03 1 point 3 years ago

I think either way is perfectly acceptable. He just prefers Fubar and who am I to argue?

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shotgun_crab 14 points 3 years ago

Oh yes, OOP, the namest of names

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Diplomjodler 14 points 3 years ago

As a Python programmer I'll have to name my child Dictionary, of course.

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MonkeMischief 4 points 3 years ago

"My ordered set of kids? Wouldn't change them for anything. They're tuple-lets!"

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honurash 2 points 3 years ago

Dic for short

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ICastFist 13 points 3 years ago

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WhiskyTangoFoxtrot 5 points 3 years ago

In A.D. 2001
Memes were beginning

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apubtest1 3 points 3 years ago

omg the newgrounds site still loads?!

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otl 1 point 3 years ago

of course!

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zarkanian 3 points 3 years ago

What you say?

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ICastFist 3 points 3 years ago

You are on your way to destruction make your time!

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swordsmanluke 2 points 3 years ago

Clearly they took off every Zig.

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MojoMcJojo 2 points 3 years ago

Thank you for that. I was young once 😭

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dan 4 points 3 years ago

My wife and I are the same age but I started using the internet around 1999 whereas she didn't use it until many, many years later.

It's fun because I can show her old memes for the first time. She missed the entire "lol so random" era of internet memes (think things like badger badger badger, "my spoon is too big", forehead shavecut, animutations, etc) and doesn't quite understand it. It's all we had back then!

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dan 2 points 3 years ago

For great justice

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potentiallynotfelix 12 points 3 years ago

Oop

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Alexstarfire 11 points 3 years ago

Nothing beats Bobby Tables.

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nxdefiant 11 points 3 years ago

I'm naming my mid Iron Python and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

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DinosaurSr 3 points 3 years ago

Oh wow is that still a thing?

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nxdefiant 7 points 3 years ago

no idea, but the name is excellent.

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asteriskeverything 3 points 3 years ago

Damn right it is 🤘

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Lemminary 11 points 3 years ago

I'm naming mine 1337Code jr

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xmunk 4 points 3 years ago

For some reason I got an out of bounds memory exception when trying to dereference the parent.

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victorz 3 points 3 years ago

Kind of has the same cadence to it as James Bond Jr. I like it.

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milliams 10 points 3 years ago

I like "Vectoria".

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bandwidthcrisis 10 points 3 years ago

Eula.

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AnAustralianPhotographer 9 points 3 years ago

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librecat 9 points 3 years ago

Naming things kids is the hardest part of programming.

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hakunawazo 8 points 3 years ago

Just put them in an unnamed array 'kids' and start with 0.

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De_Narm 9 points 3 years ago

Haskell? Curry? Maybe even Brooks.

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nifty 12 points 3 years ago

Haskell is an awesome name for a baby

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ICastFist 3 points 3 years ago

Oberon and Pascal, too. Or TurboPascal if you want to go the extra mile.

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pkill 3 points 3 years ago
  • Monad
  • Functor
  • Lambda
  • Pure
  • Lisp
  • Recur
  • Arity
  • Memo
  • Transduce
  • Lein
  • Cabal
  • Akka
  • Eval

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xmunk 2 points 3 years ago

Don't forget Elm!

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awake01 9 points 3 years ago

Lua

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kuneho 1 point 3 years ago

Lua-Nil

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driving_crooner 8 points 3 years ago

My first kitten was called Rails, but be run away. The second one, Ruby, but she died from sickness the second day we had her home. The third one was Rails 2, but we called him just Rails, he's 10 yo now. The fourth one wad called PowerBI, buy ny wife didn't like and it was a lame name anyway so we changed it to Sushi.

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waz 8 points 3 years ago

This reminds me of an article I read about a guy whose last name was Null.

This isn't it but is the first one I found when looking.

https://www.wired.com/2015/11/null/

The story is pretty much what you would expect but still an amusing read.

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fidodo 8 points 3 years ago

Fork

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turbodrooler 1 point 3 years ago

Actually considering that for my first-compiled

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w00 8 points 3 years ago

Error also has a nice ring to it

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PhobosAnomaly 11 points 3 years ago

Obligatory:

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frezik 4 points 3 years ago

I'm surprised this isn't memed more. Like, it's canon that there's a guy named Error running around in Hyrule and everyone has forgotten this.

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MajorHavoc 8 points 3 years ago

Shhhh. My spouse hasn't caught on, yet.

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AeonFelis 8 points 3 years ago

goto

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ohlaph 8 points 3 years ago

Don't give elon any ideas.

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MrFappy 8 points 3 years ago

If you name her Julia, you can wake her up with the wonderful meme of “Good morning Julia, it’s me, Joe…”

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MiDaBa 7 points 3 years ago
  • Orphan Process
  • Null
  • Char
  • Object
  • Instance
  • Bug

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tsonfeir 7 points 3 years ago

PHP. It’s pronounced, PhhhhP

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Swedneck 3 points 3 years ago

php, pronounced philip

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Bishma 7 points 3 years ago

My son GIGO never quite meets expectations.

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veniasilente 7 points 3 years ago

CTRL+F 'Robert'

0 hits

Really?

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AmidFuror 7 points 3 years ago

We named our son "Foo Bar" but we used the alternate spelling "Fubar" to make it look more reasonable.

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ohholyjesus 3 points 3 years ago

This is a joke, right? Because FUBAR is not something you should name a kid.

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Deebster 2 points 3 years ago

Self-fulfilling nominative determinism right there.

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jimbolauski 3 points 3 years ago

Like naming your daughter Methany.

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jerrythegenius 7 points 3 years ago

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bilboswaggings 6 points 3 years ago

My favorite IT based names and the reason why I want two kids: Master and slave

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ThePantser 6 points 3 years ago

My dogs are Ping and Ruby

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Simulation6 6 points 3 years ago

Ada?

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0x0 6 points 3 years ago

Exception Segfault Binary

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over_clox 5 points 3 years ago

Don't forget LOLCode (yes that's a thing)

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WeirdAlex03 10 points 3 years ago

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mexicancartel 2 points 3 years ago

Motherfucker how many //es do you have to put with https: its crashing my lemmy app when trying to open.

Have you Brainfucked the link?

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WeirdAlex03 1 point 3 years ago

I did not include any //es with the https:, but I put just the one usual pair with the ttps:. Oh. Hmm. Yes, it appears I have indeed Brainfucked the link

(try now)

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frezik 5 points 3 years ago

OOM

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capital 4 points 3 years ago

Killer’s my middle name.

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JATtho 1 point 3 years ago

Reaper of the VMAs.

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Annoyed_Crabby 5 points 3 years ago

404

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victorz 3 points 3 years ago

I've seen you around quite a bit, crabby. Nice to see you again. 👋

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Annoyed_Crabby 7 points 3 years ago

Hi 👋

Lemmy is small so we see familiar face often 🙈

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victorz 2 points 3 years ago

Definitely 😊 Hope you're well!

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db2 4 points 3 years ago

Forindo Iffi **int

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watson387 4 points 3 years ago

Boolean ftw XD

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Holzkohlen 4 points 3 years ago

I will name my firstborn 'OOM killer'.

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LinearArray 3 points 3 years ago

Saving this for the future.

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GarlicToast 3 points 3 years ago

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Kolanaki 3 points 3 years ago

OOP

There it is.

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Darkpepito_tux 3 points 3 years ago

Naming your kid Byte or Bit is a bad idea in french-speaking countries

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Tja 2 points 3 years ago

IIRC Bit is penis, but what is byte?

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jxk 2 points 3 years ago

Same, but written differently

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jxk 2 points 3 years ago

Same, but written differently

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pewgar_seemsimandroid 3 points 3 years ago

most are bad names

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Persen 1 point 3 years ago

I belive rust is a normal name.

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owsei 10 points 3 years ago

julia and ruby are pretty common also

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pewgar_seemsimandroid 2 points 3 years ago

who knows array could be allowed

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zerofk 3 points 3 years ago

C++ would be called C for short.

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CCF_100 2 points 3 years ago

Name your child Segmentation fault

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JasonDJ 2 points 3 years ago

If Archer and Parker and Miller get to be first names…my next kid is Pointer.

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TheSealStartedIt 2 points 3 years ago

NPE

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TSG_Asmodeus 2 points 3 years ago

Dot, Enzo, Bob, Phong...

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rxbudian 1 point 3 years ago

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