Kohler’s new toilet camera provides health insights based on your bathroom breaks
8 months ago by dantheclamman to c/nottheonion
Even for someone who’s into piss, corporate sponsored non consensual voyeur should be a turnoff.
I mean a pinpoint accurate bidet that is assured of 100% clean. It does make me think of that little robot asking rick what its purpose is though.
That's what came to mind for me too. Just a spray nozzle responding to immediate input from the camera with no networking and no storage attached. I probably still wouldn't buy one though haha
I think a heat sensor would do just as well since the butthole is hotter. Unless there's some rogue splashes, in which case it might work on low res/high contrast to avoid identifying video. Or maybe lidar, but then it might just shoot the pimples.
All I know is if we start training AI bidet cameras on millions of videos of dirty assholes we're going to get a version of skynet no one is prepared for.
If I want to take pictures of my butthole I have a camera for that already
This is where you advertise your onlyfans
They say the camera points down, but that makes me wonder...what about the reflections?? Oh god, the reflections
the only real use for a selfie stick
Nope
And remember, SmartPipe Kohler is definitely not a PDF file!
For those OOTL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJklHwoYgBQ
The part that bothers me isn't so much that someone came up with the idea that they could sell a toilet camera marketed as a health app.
It's that it made it far enough to actually be produced and sold. Which means someone tried to go the route of making it a medical device, was told "No" for some reason or another, but said "you know what, there's still money to be made here" and they found people that had no problem making it. If they did have a problem making it, I suspect they no longer work for the teams making it. But because it's here, they found enough people to go "ok whatever."
And that's how we end up with the modern dystopia.
Best part is that it isn't even a bit.
People just do this shit all the time
$599 intial cost, plus $70 or $130 a year. I'm happy that they are finding really amazing, break through products to offer us. Surely this is the continued excellence we can expect from the ai frenzy. Wow!
$599 intial cost, plus $70 or $130 a year.
you can get patrons on OnlyFans to examine your poops and make money! Ask me how I made $2000 a month!
Wait till you get the AI powered shitter.
Beep boop. That's poop.
- My futuristic robotoilet reluctantly watching me shit in its mouth
Seeing the comments makes me think, what happens employers start using this sort of texh trying to optimise bathroom breaks or something
Of fucking course you need to have their app to get any useful data from it. I certainly trust a plumbing manufacturer to have solid cybersecurity, and there certainly won't be any data breaches of people's poop data. When do you think we're gonna get FOSS poop cameras?
Maybe open a feature request for buttplug.io
You’ll have to pay extra for added security measures.
" Mr. Sanchez, before I let you into this country, you need to explain a large fecal mass on September 23 that looks like our Vice President...was this a political statement?"
Not especially useful until the advent of RRC (rectal recognition cameras)
Ummm...no.
I recommend this hilarious book instead
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We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
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Please also avoid duplicates.
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There is no reason for a camera to ever be in a bathroom for any reason. And no matter what reason they can come up with there will always be a downside that is substantially worse.
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