I was concerned of the amount of users not being enough to generate content, but so far I have been proven wrong. And the quality of the content is much better. At least for now.

I was worried that lemmy wouldn't reach the pinnacle of quality to match reddit, and then this post came along to soothe those fears. Good luck on your no poop quest.

enjoy your sex trip and I wish you happy bottoming! if you're not going to be doing too much physical labor during this time I recommend going full bottom mode: the week ahead of it start eating very lightly, initially a high fiber diet with added psyllium husk or metamucil. your body might be different but mine would say no dairy during this time. for the day before or even two, switch to a meatless and somewhat low fiber diet - ramen noodles is a classic, cookies, soup, other carbs. before you leave for the trip, clean out with an enema bulb (or store bought enemas if your ass is bougie or inexperienced). the combination of low fiber and low food throughput should keep you from having to poop and whatever poop is still in your tract will get largely removed by the enema.

while you're out at your fuck-tent, consume most of your calories from simple carbs as much as your body will handle so as to give your microbiome less to work with - applesauce is kinda nice, fruit snacks, white bread. eat like a twink!

remember to stay hydrated!! I know you're not trying to pee either but it's important to hydrate even if it means suffering whatever penalty your dom is giving you when you ask to be let out to pee

In 10 years, people are going to say "I joined Lemmy before the 3 days without pooping post"

I came to Lemmy as a substitute for Reddit, and I'm impressed at how little time it took to reach the high-quality posts that Reddit was known for.

``

Are you by chance trapped in a submarine near the Titanic?

So you are going to wear some kind of pants that you can’t take off easily for 3 days. Maybe some kind of medieval armor, or a fursuit.

Gatorade has tons of calories because of the sugar, and it will leave nothing to poop out. It will give you the critical electrolytes (plants crave them) that you’re missing from food. Take a multivitamin too.

But it doesn’t have enough calories, and you need stuff to go in your stomach so you don’t suffer being empty on your temporary Gatorade diet. eat white bread. Your body metabolizes almost all of it, so there’s almost nothing to poop out.

You will need to poop out all your poop before doing this, so good hydration and veggies beforehand will clean you out. No need for laxatives, just switch to your new and stupid diet 36 hours before you need to stop pooping.

Good luck on your medieval battle reënactment or orgy.

Taking bets:

• Participating in a competitive event where bathroom breaks are minimal or non-existent, such as a long-distance, multi-day gaming or eSports tournament.
• Attending a religious or spiritual retreat where fasting or avoiding certain bodily functions is part of the practices or rituals.
• Engaging in a survival challenge or a bet where the person has to limit food intake and avoid defecating for a certain period of time.
• Undergoing a specific medical procedure or test that requires limiting food intake and avoiding bowel movements for a few days.
• Participating in a scientific experiment or study where they have to control their diet and bowel movements.
• Partaking in a performance art piece or protest where he's limiting his bodily functions as part of the statement.
• Attending an event (like a music festival or convention) where bathroom facilities are notoriously unclean or inconvenient, and they want to avoid using them as much as possible.
• Embarking on a long journey where bathroom facilities may not be readily available or convenient, such as a cross-country road trip or sailing expedition.
• Participating in a reality TV show or film production where bathroom breaks are limited or inconvenient.
• Engaging in a personal challenge or self-imposed discipline practice related to endurance or minimalism.

OP, you misunderstand the "no shitposts on lemmy" guideline, that's not what it means

Are you, by any chance in a submarine?

We finally got shitposting on Lemmy, lessfgo!

I don't know the answer, but now I can say I was here during the infamous 'Poop post' on Lemmy 10 years from now.

This is the kind of post we need around here :)

I suggest you do poop, your plan atm sounds cartoonishly stupid and likely to blow up in your face.

Do keep us posted though!

• I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

Sure sounds like something someone who's going to mail himself somewhere would say.

first day on lemmy, and this is the shit i see right off the bat. I found my reddit replacement.

High protein, low fiber diet.

It's a real thing, pilots of U2 spy planes that needed to fly for ~18 hours straight without any possibility of pooping, needed to be on a special diet for a few days before a mission.

What exactly it consisted of I don't know, but this is the internet, so I'm sure it can be found. I suspect mainly beef. Maybe jerky?

This thread is going to haunt me. One day, years from now while lying in bed and slowly drifting off to sleep, I'll suddenly sit bolt upright and exclaim, "Why couldn't that dude poop!?"

NASA has a paper on how to not poop for days. It's on the Internet. Before space toilets there was only a space bag with finger scissor/scoop holes. It didn't work, poop got everywhere. The paper goes into detail about fecal matter being everywhere after early multi-day missions.

So they figured it out. Their system works -- I've also had my own reasons.

Happy i switched over to lemmy in time to whitness this

I love that this is the flagship viral post for the new popular Lemmy. At this point, OP's reason for not pooping is tertiary to the entertainment! Also, I'm pretty sure it's just social anxiety.

I was here for this post that will go down in Fediverse history.

Some armies use cheese to reduce frequency of bowel movements.

The transformation is complete we are officially better than reddit.

Without context. This is such a hilarious situation, it's like, when a sitcom character whos role is to be the goof of the bunch, asks his friends this question and he's serious and frantic.

Jesus wtf lol, this is one of those posts that's going to become a copypasta

My guess: Airsoft or paintball MilSim (Military-Simulation) operation. OP is a sniper. There is an ambush. Long-shot: re-enactment of The killing of Osama Bin Laden. OP's crush is there. OP's butthole is sore, so they want a few days of no toilets to allow their bottom to heal.

This is the content I was waiting for! I’ve read this while sitting on my throne 😂😂😂💩

Your last three posts are a roller coaster in wondering "What's this guy up to?". Thanks for the laughs

If I had to guess, given the timing of this, he's probably on the Hajj. Around this time 1.5 million Muslims make a pilgrimage to fulfill one of the main tenants of the religion, to make a once in a lifetime pilgrimage to Makkah. This is tied to Eid that's coming in a few days.

Where I suspect this ties in is, one of the steps in this journey is to stay in Mina, which is basically a tent city outside of Makkah. The bathroom facilities are lacking at best, specially if you are used to clean western style sitting toilets. It's not uncommon for people to walk back to their hotels and take care of business and walk back to their tents. Depending on where the hotel is and where your tent is, this could be a half hour to an hour walk. Let's just say if someone is very particular about the throne and is situated far from the hotel, fasting and going without food to reduce poop frequency seems like a very attractive option.

In my experience, the bathrooms for the American and Canadian tents weren't too bad to use in a pinch. And I was blessed that my hotel was only a 15 mins walk, so my wife and I would walk over every morning, take a nice shower and freshen up and walk back (there is a recommended time requirement on how much of each day you can spend outside the boundary of the city). The food there was too tempting for me to go with the no poop route this brave soul is embarking on. (For context, they would have fresh squeezed juices, lamb and rice dishes as big as small cars, teas, coffees, and the sweets were amazing.... And it was all free!).

Eid Al Adha-https://en.wikipedia.org/...

Hajj - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hajj?wprov=sfla1

Repost from: https://lemmy.ca/comment/549502

I have the solution because I too have been in this exact situation, but you can't eat much or you'll be extremely uncomfortable.

The day before you go, drink a full bottle of magnesium citrate. This will cause liquid diarrhea and completely empty you out. This is used before Colonoscopies to give the doctor a clear view.

Then for the next 3 days eat very little while taking 3 immodium each day.

You're welcome.

Sunflower seeds

Update because I still get one or two comments in my inbox daily asking me about this thing.

Yes, I did succeed.

No, I'm not telling anyone what all of this was about.

I got constipated after the thing was over and made a post asking for help.

The promised picture of my porcelain throne:

Dude the submersible's gone, there isn't gonna be another trip down there. Get your $250,000 back and do something meaningful with your life.

so this is where Lemmys lore began

Sherlock emerges from the shadows of his contemplation, his penetrating gaze alight with a glimmer of the mind's razor-edged acuity, dancing over the hushed assembly.

"Ah, a conundrum indeed! But the game is afoot, my good fellows. Let us untangle this web of mystery step by step."

He begins to pace, his long fingers steepled in front of him, his sharp gaze distant.

"Firstly, we must examine the peculiar constraints Mizu has imposed upon himself. He wishes to abstain from the natural act of defecation for three days, intending to consume food that occupies minimal space, while also reducing perspiration. He will stay in a well-equipped tent, with access to adequate sanitation should the need arise, yet he insists he will resist such necessity."

He stops, turning sharply on his heel to face the crowd, the dramatic swish of his coat filling the silence.

"Despite these restrictions, Mizu explicitly denies embarking on a hiking trip or attempting to smuggle contraband. Yet he is engaged in a journey of some kind, returning to his place of origin before embarking on the same route again."

He taps his forehead lightly, his gaze thoughtful.

"The desire to limit perspiration indicates a need to control body odor and moisture - potentially to avoid detection or discomfort. The same logic may apply to his endeavor to restrict bowel movement. This points to a need to stay confined in a small, potentially shared, space for extended periods."

He turns away, pacing once more as he traces the threads of the narrative.

"His choice of diet - minimal and compact - suggests a limited ability to dispose of waste. This, coupled with the significant investment in a large, air-conditioned tent, speaks of a measure of affluence, yet a necessity to live in a manner that does not align with this status."

He spins around, eyes gleaming with realization.

"Consider the pattern of his journey. It is repeated, yet with a sojourn at his original location - a pause that allows for the resumption of normal bodily function."

He points at the crowd, his voice ringing out with certainty.

"Mizu, my dear audience, is not embarking on a mere trip. He is engaging in a performance, a role that demands these unusual conditions. But what performance could that be? Think, ladies and gentlemen, of an endeavor that requires one to remain in a compact, enclosed space for days, sharing it perhaps with others, yet intermittently returning to a home base."

His voice drops to a hush, his eyes intense.

"A role that demands a significant investment in a temporary abode but necessitates confinement in close quarters. A role where control of bodily functions and odors becomes vital. And what is that role, you ask?"

He raises his arms, his voice echoing dramatically in the silence.

"Mizu, ladies and gentlemen, is partaking in a competitive reality television show or a similar endeavor. A program that demands participants to live in close proximity, often in limited spaces like a train compartment or a shared tent. This necessitates careful control over body functions to minimize discomfort. The mid-journey return to his origin represents a break in the filming schedule, allowing him to revert to his normal physiological routines before starting the second leg of the journey."

He sweeps his arm out, his eyes twinkling with a triumphant gleam.

"There you have it, my dear fellows. A peculiar request, indeed, but quite understandable under the unforgiving lens of reality television. Not as mundane as a hiking trip, not as nefarious as smuggling, but every bit as demanding."

Just keep pushing it back inside when it tries to come out.

Use anti diarrhea medication, for example Loperamide, it's available in every normal pharmacy (found it in France and Germany, no idea where you are). It will basically numb all your muscles in your gut and it will become impossible to poop.

For three days that should be fine, but you should reduce your food volume a bit.

This is unhealthy and stupid!!! But it works and is not crazy dangerous for your body.

P.S.:I guess you should just overcome your social fears and poop like a normal person.

This is like some bizzaro 90's sitcom. "Quick, I need your help to not poop for 3 days! No time to explain!"

Bro are you mailing yourself somewhere?

I have done two seven-day fasts and four three-day fasts. You'll want to prep with fasting practice and then watch your water intake to make sure you're not dehydrated.

I would pay $50 to know why the fuck you're doing this.

What I would do in this situation would be a 4-day fast. It's not for everybody, but you might want to at least consider it, because it's definitely doable, and some people even claim it's healthy (disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, don't take medical advice from random people on the internet).

To prepare, I would suggest switching to OMAD (one meal a day - effectively you will be fasting 23h every day) up until the trip. OMAD will help your body adjust to long periods of not eating. To be successful with OMAD, you need to ensure that your single meal will cover your daily calorie and nutrient needs. There's a bunch of resources about it online if you search.

Eat your last meal 48h before the trip - this will give you a chance to empty your bowels before you leave. Every day, make sure you drink enough electrolytes + take multivitamins. On the final day of your trip, it should be safe to have a SMALL meal (do not overdo it, you can hurt yourself by eating too much after a fast) - it should take your body over a full day before you'll need to poop.

How long do you have to prepare? Personally, when I first started doing OMAD, it took me over a month before my body became adjusted to fasting. But now, it just feels completely natural.

Guess you're visiting the Titanic shipwreck in a submarine...

I‘ll just leave a comment to prove that I witnessed a Lemmy legend in the making.

Nothing screams comedy quite like a man refusing to shit for three days.

Its over, Lemmy is big enough to be its own thing now. This post proves it...

Everything about this is fantastic. This level of shitposting is exactly what the fediverse needs

I was here when this post happened.

Lemmy is good just because of this post

Just wanna say I was here when this became the first Lemmy meme

Curiosity aside:

Pooping happens when the body needs to eliminate undigested waste. Almost everything that is edible has some amount of indigestible material, but some has far less than others.

The other important factor is the stimulation of bile release. This usually happens in the presence of bitter foods: dark leafy greens, pickles and other fermented foods, ect. Fats are also known to stimulate bile release. Biles primary function actually is to break down fatty acids. Even if youve eaten mostly bio-available nutrients, if your gallbladder gets stimulated you could end up on the toilet anyway.

So if your goal is to avoid pooping for several days, your ideal diet will avoid fibrous and bitter fruits and vegetables, and avoid fatty foods.

If it were me, I would eat lean meats (chicken or venison), possibly dried into jerky, and simple fruits, or juiced vegetables and fruits. The less food you eat generally, the more you'll avoid building up waste in your intestines.

Just a heads-up: if your succeed in your goal and don't poop for several days, your first poop after can possibly be, erm, explosive. Your gallbladder will likely continue accumulating bile during your poop-fast, and the first thing you eat that stimulates it's release may flood your small intestines. So plan your first meal carefully!

God speed.

Everything about this post is weird and hilarious.

You’re gonna be on a sub right?

In a survival situation, you can go a long time(weeks depending on how much body fat you have stored) without eating food. But- water is required.

Eating food, generally produces poop.

Vitamins, trail-mix, etc, can provide the required nutrients as well, while somewhat minimizing the amount of poop production.

Another note, it is possible to hold your poop for a very long time. Although, this can result in "Clogged pipes", which you do NOT want.

Just leaving a comment to remember I was there when the 3 day no poop thing happened

I was here

my guess is they are either getting their butthole pierced or tattooed, but I know that OP won't confirm. THat's just my guess here. I really hope it's not something more gross than that, but I can't handle that.

I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can’t take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

I mean, working overtime in Amazon is no shame

The only thing that makes sense to me is that they are flying, not checking a bag and therefore they are unable to bring their poop knife.

OP I don't think this is what they meant when they said "don't be a party pooper"

I'm proud to make this comment my first ever interaction (post, comment, or vote) on Lemmy.

An uncle died for not pooping for 3 days

I once survived 3 days without pooping at a festival. The secret was 15 liters of beer and ~ 9 cans of ravioli. But I peed A LOT.

This is where I would normally say !RemindMe in 3 days.

OP confirmed as drug mule

This is why I joined lemmy.

Just take the dildo out for 5 minutes man, it's no big deal

This is one of those threads that’s going go be legendary is it? Like the eating their own foot on early Reddit

I'm pretty Sure you are a Woman going on a hike for multiple days and you don't want to poop in the wild? These problems sound quite familiar xD

I'm just glad I'm here to witness this lol

Anyways, wouldn't a liquid meal replacement do the trick? Something like Huel?

Op is gonna meet their stinky penpal in person and wants to save a special gift for when they get together, how romantic 😍

This is so fucking funny. It keeps reappearing in my all feed every day and reminding me.

someone should create a badge to mark this special occasion. "I was here for the famous poop post of 2023"

Dude, I know you can't say why, but I sincerely hope you come back after your...excursion? And update us all with the results. And may e tell us why when you have the chance.

Just coming in here and saying you can't shit for 3 days. What on earth is this.

Oh my God, I have so many questions.

Just poop as much as possible before leaving. For three days you can fast, it’s very much doable.

I was here when the 3 days without pooping post dropped.

I didn't see this answer, so sorry if it's been said, but just don't eat. It's three days, after all. Incidentally I've read that if you ate solely what your body needed to survive, it would take 20-40 days to even build up enough waste to have to poop.

This is the shit posting I like to see

Practicing for No Shit November I see.

I was here when the no-shit post jump started the popularity of this platform. My children will be so proud

First of all, I was having a nice day until I read this. But alas, here's my two cents. Since you said you will be travelling, not eating will be a problem. Why? As other comments pointed out and as I went through this myself a few weeks ago(not intentionally, just financially dependent on irresponsible traumatised individuals who get to decide when/what/why I eat- I am working on it, don't worry), not eating for extended amounts of time gets you weird cramps and liquid poop. You don't want that, especially when you need to move. I don't know the environment you will be in, but aim to eat a bit those days, processed solid foods will do. Cheese, eggs, bread(bagels),plain pasta(ALREADY BOILED) if available. Avoid sugar in fairly large quantities(dehydrating), coffee(obvs), fruits, even vegetables. Your body will hate you for this, so when it's over please take it easy and eat&drink water properly. It's good that you will be moving, hopefully not too intense activity(because you'd need to eat/drink water properly) as that will distract your brain from wanting to eat/drink water.(again, sauce: former retail worker, wasn't done intentionally, I can't stress this enough. It just sorta happens). Make sure that you at least sleep and rest properly, and as others have pointed out, this isn't sustainable and not recommended by any means. Long term lack of nutrition fucks you up in ways I can't even begin to describe, take that shit from me. In the offchance you tattoo your asshole(and that you are one who has that tentacle tattooed on the asshole and are having it re done/touched up), you can simply wash after you poop, you don't have to go through this. Also you can try anti diuretic and anti liquid poop(for a lack of a better term) medicine. Looking foward for an update, hope you'll be ok.

I just want to be a part of this history. Also maybe like protein shakes?

You're putting so much effort to avoid pooping... but you should put the same effort into making sure that once this whole thing is over, there's a toilet you can sit on for a few hours without being interrupted. If I was you, I'd choose one in advance and call there for a reservation.

Can you tell us when you're done? This is already one of the most interesting posts on lemmy

Just adding a comment so people will believe me when I tell them I was here when the "3 days without pooping" post happened :)

Good luck on your journey, OP!

this is it. this is the critical point of quality the fediverse needed

I regularly do this on backpacking trips.

Don't ask me how, I don't even know. I call it Camping Constipation Mode. I usually leave on a Thursday afternoon and get home Sunday night without feeling the urge to shit. And I eat as normally as you can when backpacking, I guess. Seems like most of the dehy food should make you thread a needle at 10 paces but doesn't seem to affect me that way.

I just want to say that this post is awesome. Also Military MREs, come in a convenient form factor and had the effect of keeping me well fed and also completely blocked up during whole field exercises.

Not sure if this is a troll post...

But in case not, in my experience black chocolate and banana helps in these kind of situations...

And don't drink apple or grape juice, or the opposite will happen 🙃

I think there's one important question we haven't covered yet. Do you also need to limit the amount you fart?

Because that could affect food choice. Or is that not a factor and you'll be able to discretely let loose somewhere?

This post is truly glorious, this should be the founding exhibit of the museum of Lemmy.

I am truly grateful to witness this moment.

In case OP is still with us, my advice would be anti diarrhoea medication, consume minimum liquids, avoid fibre, pack MREs which are often formulated to be a bit constipating. But above all, question why on earth you would be doing this in the first place!

You're going to end up needing a knife...

I'm going to tell my descendents this was the origin of the phrase "I shit you not"

I would recommend against doing this because you will end up feeling awful. We poo for a reason. Please be careful.

That said, immodium and low strength codeine both bung you up- depending on where you live you may be able to get both from a pharmacy.

#thepooppost

Keep that sphincter clenched tight! You got this.

I wonder if doing a colon cleanse beforehand help? Similar to what people do before a colonoscopy.

Also, it is an odd request but I’m now fully vested in your post to see what others suggest.

I was here lmao. Starting to love lemmy

Leaving a comment to be part of Lemmy history.

You are either camping with other people or are in some kind of military activity. You don't want to poop because you are embarrassed of how it smells and the people you were with on a previous occasion gave you an extremely hard time over it. Did I guess right? Please, poop in a hole or something, whatever it takes

Why do you need this?

!RemindMe 7 days

Give birth right before your trip

I was here witnessing lemmy history being made and I will probably die of curiosity if we do not get an update. I do not have any tips. I just hope that you come back safe and sound.

You're gonna need a bigger knife

Is the goal to keep the poop inside your body? If it's allowed to come out and play, you could blend it with gatorade and consume it as soon as possible to minimize time spent outdoors.

what the fuck. i need an update post

Did you sign an NDA?

Has anybody considered OP may be getting railed by a giant schlong?

Canned tuna. It's very dry and almost all protein so most of it gets absorbed by the body and you'll be pooping neat little bricks.

I’d you can eat meat, beef jerky. Generally any high protein, low carb diet will be low output. Not sure about the sweating though.

Good luck winning that car!

Steak and eggs, it's what astronauts use to not shit for days. your body absorbs most of the material rather than excreting it. your looking for anything "low residue".

This post is gold. To parrot a couple others, anti-diarrhea medicine always locks me up for a day or two

Eat a full MRE the day before. Good luck ever pooping again.

I’m so happy I’m here!

Hard boiled eggs. Astronauts love them because they are almost completely absorbed and pooping in space is a hassle.

This is the most upvotes I have seen on Lemmy so far! We gotta get this over 1k at least!

I wonder how he will behave as soon as the first thing the date does in the tent is, unceremoniously, going for a poop.

This post is going straight to the fediverse hall of fame!

Get anti diarrhea medicine, have electrolyte drinks in moderation.

OP, the answer is obviously to starve yourself and use a buttplug

I have a friend who was in the army and said they had to do 100+km training hikes. No one wanted to have to stop to poo so the first thing they did, before even starting, was to eat the block of cheese from their ration packs. They called it plug cheese.

Honestly, I’m just commenting to say I was here.

please stop talking about how this post is going to be on lectures 10 years later and help this guy, he NEED help lmao

I just hope OP posts an update if he made it 3 days or not

Honestly, the edits didn’t clarify much. I’m nearly as confused by this whole situation as I was the first time I read the post

Are you planning to film one of those "shipping myself in a box" videos? 😭

Okay, why don't you need this?

The type of shit (or lack thereof) that I came here to subscribe.

I don't have any suggestions but would like to give my thanks for the quality content

I'm here for whatever this ends up being

Such an oddly terrifying post.

Get your bowels empty in the days leading up to it. So don’t eat. Anything. 2 days before you can relieve yourself start eating small amounts of protein.

Or, better yet, don’t even try to do this. You’re very unlikely to succeed and therefore your effort is going into preventing an inevitable situation rather than figuring out how to deal with the inevitable problem once it arrives.

lol this is hilarious, and I also hope you're okay, OP!

Now, some say this is the first Lemmy meme. I'm not sure that's the case, for what it's worth. However, it does feel exciting to see a meta moment like this! So absurd! 😂

Just wanted to say I was here for this.

If you don't wanna partake in illegals ie opioids, you can give immodium a shot. It's anti diarrhea stuff. Just take more than it says lol it will def stop you up. I would also just eat bare minimum. Trail mix or smth. Also drink less water.

Just tell us the reason.

Lemmy history!

What a time to be alive!

Just don't eat anything. For three days you should be fine. If your stomach hurts just drink water.

Commemorative comment for the start of Lemmy lore.

It’s been 6 days since the original post. OP was 3 days out from the poopless leg of his trip. OP, I hope everything went according to plan!

Please update when back!

It's called a low residue diet https://badgut.org/...

I haven't seen any comments suggesting a plug, so I guess it'll be me. Try using a butt plug.

NOSHITGANG

Im dying at the urgency. "Guys tell me how to not shit for 3 days AND DONT ASK QUESTIONS DAMNIT"

I think this is for some sort of fanfic or roleplay, so:

Military food. If you want something old fashioned but not so bland like the european bread take a look at what paraguayan soldiers used during the three aliances war.

It's about preparation. Approximate gut motility for a healthy adult on a light diet is about 48-60 hours. So, stop eating 3 days before you leave, poop out all you possibly can before your 3 day period starts. Drink about 500ml water per day in the days leading up to the 3 day period. It wouldn't hurt to prep with a mild laxative to remove as much gut content as possible.

Once the timer starts, start eating small amounts only after the first day. For water, about 500ml per day. The good news is that what you pee out can't take much more space than the fresh water you drink.

This assumes you are relatively sedentary. If you perform manual labor during the 3 day period, you'll need to increase water intake, and possibly food intake, to avoid exhaustion.

The best thing you can eat is nothing. Take a 3 day water only fast. Maybe 4 days, start before your trip to get out all the poop ahead of time.

Just start taking Adderall. If you're anything like me, you will have to remind yourself to eat more than 500 calories a day and then you will find yourself questioning how many days it has been since you even felt the need to poop.

Breast milk has very few undigestible solids. Just saying.

8/10 with rice

Good luck mailing yourself out of the country.

This has to be a kink thing, one of the weirder ones. Holding a plug, not sweating, because it is not wished?

Else it is something illegal. Drug mule, crossing a border which would either make the drugs visible, or maybe another crime to not leave obvious DNA traces. No sweating to not look suspicious on control? Not much stuff to disguise the longer travel?

You could try surviving on Soylent or an equivalent. It's the nutrients you need to stay alive and operating normally stripped down to the bare minimum (so less material for you to have to poop). It might be diluted in water but that could be minimised and that small amount would probably leave you though sweat/breath anyway.

i'm so confused. what do you need all of this for. why are you being so secretive. what could possibly be this dramatic

I'm imagining you shipping yourself in a crate to another country and wanting to avoid getting poo all over you 🤣

And so it begins. This is where legends are made.

I was here

I was here for... Whatever this is...

Honestly, If u dont want to poop and eat as little as possible i would consider fasting. If zero food is too intimidating - pack some nuts.

I'm honestly more curious about this than I was about any of the locked safes.

It’s ok. He/she/them will understand that people do poop. They aren’t worth it if they can’t Accept this

I recommend eating a lot of cheese and absolutely NO fiber. Not sure if it will make you sweat less, but I'm pretty sure if I ate only cheese for 3 days, it wouldn't be too hard to wait till the end of it to poop. In fact, I may need some help at that point... maybe you should eat some fiber like a couple hours before you do plan on trying to poop, and also drink lots of water at that point, too. I personally find cheese very "helpful" in getting myself constipated, and fiber + water to be a great way to smoothen the pooping process.

Aha! You are joining the circus!!!

Truly an amazing post that needs a follow-up. We wait eagerly for the results of this journey. You crazy motherfucker lmfao

My only advice would be to have a back up plan. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail, and there's no guarantee you won't get an unpleasant surprise. You say you'll use the toilet if you're about to shit yourself, but what if you can't make it and do end up shitting yourself because you put it off so long?

Imodium

hey i saw that you only have a few days, you should go ahead and reduce your food intake today

If it's important you can easily just not eat for three days. Otherwise, there's nothing you can eat that will be safe and prevent you from pooping.

Tbf, there's a difference between knowing instinctively that someone poops and being first-hand witness to the godawful stench of post-chipotle bowel movement in an area with poor air circulation (AC aside).

Crush is definitely involved though.

Cheese.

MREs. Particularly US MREs. You can eat em as much as you want and you won't have to go for a week.

Fear the end of the week, however

Okay but why?

I'm guessing you're going backcountry or to a festival of some kind. I sympathize but using an outhouse or potta potty isn't bad, it's just a mental block. You'll enjoy yourself a lot more when you do things normally.

This sounds like you're on the hajj and don't want to use the crappy bathrooms and wait till you're in the hotel to poop. I would say drink lots of water, have some nuts and dates, drink some of the juices, stay away from rice and meat dishes. Enjoy the experience while you're there!

This could be a setting in a Stephen King novel. They usually don't end well.

I am really curious about the situation, but all I've to say is be safe and update us.

Me surviving 1week without pooping

Nut Butters: Peanut or almond butter in small jars or packets. They are calorie-dense and can be eaten in small quantities.

Crackers: Plain crackers are low in fiber and can be filling.

Cheese: Hard cheeses like cheddar can be easy on the stomach and don’t require refrigeration for short periods.

Protein Bars: Opt for bars that are low in fiber.

Dried Meat: Such as beef jerky, can be a good source of protein.

Nuts and Seeds: In moderation, these can be good sources of energy.

Bottled Water: You’ll need to stay hydrated, but since you mentioned you can’t pee very often, drink just enough to not feel thirsty.

Electrolyte packets or tablets: To keep your electrolyte balance in check without consuming too much liquid.

Godspeed!

I was a witness to OPs great secret.

I've heard that Robert Zemeckis is interested in your story. He mentioned something about filming "Pooped Away"...

Brother/sister/sibling, please just poop.

I was here

Please post again after your ordeal, OP.

1 word: pancakes. Nature's cork.

The important first step is preparation. You need to clean the pipes. There should be nothing left inside you before you commence on the trip. So take some laxatives and do some cleaning. After you’re thoroughly pristine you must only consume a clear liquid diet, so clear juices and soft drinks (make sure you consume the full sugar version because that’s how you’ll get your energy). Take a multivitamin each day. On the second or third day take an Imodium, this is likely overkill but you won’t poop. Return to a normal diet on the third day but do so gradually over the course of a day or two. I cannot guarantee that this method will not damage your health and the risk will likely be greater if you have other health conditions, but you wont poop sooo.

One of the more interesting posts I've seen here

Soylent?

Should be available at most grocery stores

I really wish I knew what I did in the past to achieve this. Depression and poor eating habits?

Mysterious post indeed. Yet, it's the asking of such an intimate, specific question in the most open of spaces what I find truly fascinating 😶

I don't have anything to add, I just wanna be part of this.

Avoid fiber like a plague, already

So no to popular fruits and vegetables, no carrots, beets, strawberry, apples

Hmm but also it would be good to actually poop last day before hike so maybe take some pills for that day before for a huge splasshh bbbrrrr

When you return expect to give birth to a shitman

What level of chemical assistance are you willing to go to? Over the counter antidiarrheals like loperamide/immodium? Prescription ones like lomotil/atropine-diphenoxylate? Opioid constipation? Buttplugs?

The biggest trick to not pooping is: don't need to poop. Clean yourself out real good beforehand and then don't eat anything. Nothing in, nothing out. Well, you'll have about a tablespoon of bile a day but you can probably hold that in.

Alright. I'm giving you this advice because I've done it on a camping trip but it was only a single night. I usually go once or twice a day. I just didn't want to deal with digging a hole and it was only a single night in my case. I just took some anti diarrhea medicine to constipate myself lol. I don't remember how much, maybe even less than a whole dose.

Please read the labels and follow the instructions, it might not necessarily be safe over three days. Also imagine getting stopped up so bad that you have to go to the doctor about it then having to explain this. Just be careful. You're not saying why you refuse to go so only you can judge if it is worth it.

That said, I know someone who claims to only poop once a week and they claim their doctor said that was "within normal parameters" so who knows. But I have also heard stories of people having to go to the doctor and get an enema because they're so constipated.

You said if we guess you'd confirm so here's my attempt.

Are you participating in like one of those TV competitions? Will you be filmed if you poop and that's why you'd rather not?

Realistically, if you eat anything, you'll poop. Tail down your calorie intake to ~1000 calories at day -7, to -500 on days -6 and -5, then to 0 for days -4 through -1. Start eating again on day zero.

You won't have to poop during that time. Make sure to drink water, and i would add electrolytes to ensure you don't get any type of heart arrhythmia (unlikely on a fast this short, but intelligent anyway).

I don't know why you need to do this, but good luck. I've done week long fasts before and they're not too hard after the first couple of days. Ironically, eating well before the start makes it MUCH harder (you'd think it'd tide you over, but it just makes your body expect food) ... Hence, the tailing down over a couple days.

Fast. Seriously. Drink just enough water to stay hydrated. Avoid diuretics like coffee and alcohol.

The only real answer is Pemmican.

This is the birth of something great

Just use the MRE's you've no doubt been issued for beast week and stop complaining. Also hide your phone trainee, the MTI's are coming.

Do you need energy? So there's something called the pineapple diet (please ask your doctor first) where you eat pineapple for three days to lose weight. Biggest problem here is the spam, so I guess you'd have to use some sort of food that can be rehydrated like soylent.

This is the weirdest fucking thing I've seen on the Internet in a long time.

Well... just don't eat. You don't need to eat for 3 days to survive during that time

What the fuck?

There are many people in long term care homes who survive only on nutritional drinks.

Keep in mind that you'll need to put your plan into action a few days in advance because you'll still have food working its way through your system a day or two after your last solid meal.

posting for posterity. what a way to start the lemmy journey. and godspeed to op, shine on you crazy diamond.

I was here for the poop thing

Don't eat chipotle

I have fasted for three straight days on many occasions and it was pretty easy for me. Drinking zero-calorie beverages (coffee, tea, water) should be fine. This is not professional medical advice and definitely do not do this if you are an alcoholic, diabetic, or pregnant. Once you break the fast, do so with moderation.

I was here for it.

I don't even want to know the answer because it'll be less entertaining than lemmy's collective imagination.

As for the question: I think your biggest problem is going to be inducing a proper clearout shortly before you go on your trip. Maybe laxatives?

Edit: I just realized, is the reason you don't want to go despite having toiles available stuff like hemorrhoids or an anal fissure? Because if so, there are creams for that my friend.

If it's only for 3 days you need nothing unless you get diarrhea.

This is God-tier Meme master content, well done OP

Define "illegal". Like, marijuana is legal for recreational use in my state. I'm looking forward to some edibles when I get home, hahah

To answer the actual question, cheese and meat.

Could you give us an update after your.... endeavours... how it went?

Legendary post

easy, just go on a fast (eat nothing, can drink water and zero cal energy drinks) and/or very low cal keto (avocados), take vitamin and electrolyte supplements

Im just posting so I can see my username on one of Whang's videos one day.

I think water fasting would do you the best. There was this guy in 1965 who fasted for over a year eating nothing but some vitamins prescribed by the doctors and drinking water coffe and tea https://en.wikipedia.org/...

He apparently also only pooped every 2 months https://www.diabetes.co.uk/...

....You're gonna try to ship yourself to Timbuktu, aren't you.

Try asking the bottoms from the lgbtq+ communities.

nothing to suggest but i'm absolutely fascinated by your post, op. please post results.

as someone with IBS, cold/frozen liquids are the way to go... pun fully intended. it might be a bit difficult to keep things cool, but frozen sports drinks and the like are good for keeping you going. it's really unhealthy, and i absolutely can't recommend it, but it should work. you get a lot of your water intake from food, too, so if it's not getting any of that, the water you ingest from liquids/frozen liquids is gonna get sucked up by your large intestine and, in theory, you'll need the toilet less. good luck with, uh. your thing.

I reckon that when you finally go, you'll need a poop knife to get that grogan down the hopper.

This is amazing.

Don't drink coffee then.

Would love an update haha

It's okay.

I'll poop for your share too, friend.

All the best; I did something like this before, although not on purpose, eating light and low fiber. When I finally pooped my poop had layers. Please don't make a habit out of it.

Someone's gonna need a poop knife after day 3...

If you make it to wherever you're going, please let us know the story!

OP, there's help available if you have OCD.

Nugget_in_biscuit was indeed part of this, the first lemmy in-joke in history

I dont have any advice. Just wanted to day I was here before the reason was revealed.

History in the making

hold it in

hahah ok this is good content

Imodium

Stamp that i was here. Truly an outstanding post

Whatever you end up doing, make sure to start it a few days before your trip.

A small bottle of olive oil. It's very high calorie so it will keep you somewhat energized in small quantities. Consumed in small amounts you may be able to go three days without shitting.

Don't eat, just constantly drink something with some sugar in it so your energy level keeps up. That's it.

May I suggest to get a foldable potty instead? They are super light and the size of an original Gameboy when folded. Combined with plastic bags and silicapowder (do not eat) it will help you stay healthy instead of dehydrated and constipated. If amazon is not fast enough, check the nearest baby mart. If you are just shy, there are also foldable privacy shields (camping section) available to let you do your business with privacy.

Everyone else gave really good examples already so I don't have much to contribute. I am however extremely interested in what you are going to be doing. Totally understand if you can't say now, but after you're done if you can talk about it would you give us an update?

If you can't I wish you all the luck in life. Stay safe :)

I was here!!! What a wild ride

@mizu6079 @remindme 3 days

I was there.

@mizu6079 Vinegar

I was here for the poop post of 2023!

Eat a diet with hardly any fibre before you go. The last time I was bunged up for 4 days I had eaten a lot of meat and not enough veggies in comparison. It'll either help, or you'll just have a very big poop idk.

I would recommend lessening your fibre as a minimum if you must though!

Are you being human trafficked?

This is golden.

This entire thread is just… wow.

They're a neverpooper. I garuntee it!

Glastonbury?

For limited opportunities to pee, I'd carry a good sized bottle and limit drinking to sipping water/an electrolyte beverage through a straw.

For limiting poop, I'd try to be empty ahead of time, and just take something solid like bread and cheese which means you probably could go through three days without pooping.

https://youtu.be/Z54XNJivHOs I was there at the dawn of the third age of mime kind

I'm so happy I can be a part of this historical moment.

Remember to bring the poo knife

Leading up go on an mostly liquid diet. Diet shakes would probably do it. And just don't eat solid food. This, BTW, is going to suck when it's over as you'll feel like you need your bowel disimpacted. But it is possible.

People are claiming that this post has historical value. I was here!

Absolutely incredible content 🫡

Well, did you do it? Great success?

Don’t drink coffee

Eat carbs, drink Gatorade or Powerade and poop before hand. Bro whatever you're doing I expect an update post!

@mizu6079 Don't mind me!

Best of luck

I was here for this also what the actual fuck my guy.

Just don't eat and mainline kaopectate?

Immodium AD should help stop you up. (I'm not a doctor.)

How did it go?

Update plz?

Uncomfortable pooping somewhere with no bidet available?

Have you considered something that causes constipation? Immodium, cheese, Blended up guava seeds...

First post here, seems nice. This place doesn't seem full of shit.

I had a very good time reading this.

I’d recommend to throw some Loperamidhydrochlorid in the mix, not sure if you can find it in your pharmacy. When I’ve been too Music Festivals, we’ve always had some as an emergency, if the toilets would be clogged (which happened a lot).

Stay strong 👍🏻

Avoid fiber like plague

Well I’ve been taking Percocet the last few days bc I threw out my back…I’m pretty sure my intestines are stuffed full like a sausage in casing

3 days? Most adult humans can handle that without food and with minimal water. It won't be fun, but even a liter of water will probably suffice if you ration it through the full three days.