arrow74 115 points 7 months ago

I hated the recruitment texts and calls. The high school and university apparently just give your information to recruiters.

path: 0 22730924, hotness: undefined, score: 115, children: 24

Decq 97 points 7 months ago

Wait, this a real thing? That's so... American I guess.

save

path: 0 22730924 22733773, hotness: undefined, score: 97, children: 14

peoplebeproblems 56 points 7 months ago

Yep. It's actually the whole reason we have phy ed.

Basically if you get federal funds, you have to do what the federal says.

save

path: 0 22730924 22733773 22733921, hotness: undefined, score: 56, children: 7

Decq 30 points 7 months ago

I see, I always assumed it was either people giving their info themselves or others did to prank you. I guess it makes sense for a country who loves perpetual war.

save

path: 0 22730924 22733773 22733921 22734087, hotness: undefined, score: 30, children: 5

otter 16 points 7 months ago

The "country" doesn't, the pedo class does.

save

path: 0 22730924 22733773 22733921 22734087 22735034, hotness: undefined, score: 16, children: 3

anomnom 5 points 7 months ago

We have to register for the draft, they have all our info then anyway when we turn 18. When I was a kid Gillette sent you a free razor and Old Spice sent you some deodorant.

Don’t many countries have compulsory service at that age anyway (with educational deferments, which we basically have as well, college tuition differences notwithstanding).

save

path: 0 22730924 22733773 22733921 22734087 22747942, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

edgemaster72 5 points 7 months ago

So being a fat kid didn't just get me out of dodgeball but also military recruiting? Sweet

save

path: 0 22730924 22733773 22733921 22743105, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

underisk 33 points 7 months ago

one of them tried to corner me into agreeing to let him come pick me up and talk in person. probably because he felt it would make me more compliant if alone with him. like a child predator.

save

path: 0 22730924 22733773 22734708, hotness: undefined, score: 33, children: 1

gandalf_der_12te 2 points 7 months ago

maybe one of the best things to say in these cases is "i don't suck dick, i bite"

like it gets a certain point across just fine. namely that if they try to intimidate you that's not gonna go good for them.

save

path: 0 22730924 22733773 22734708 22760968, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

captainlezbian 15 points 7 months ago

Yeah, but if you go to a good high school they send recruiters who may tell you to commission instead of only to enlist

And no they don't take "ineligible" for an answer. I didn't want to die for oil, but even if I did they wouldn't let me, but they also wouldn't leave me alone.

save

path: 0 22730924 22733773 22734213, hotness: undefined, score: 15, children: 3

otter 7 points 7 months ago

I hear one can take the ASFAB, book the follow-up interviews, etc., but drop the mic on the pre-boot questionnaire that tries to suss out your "conscientious objector" leanings and never have to worry about another spam call/email (barring a draft). Or, so I hear. It's been decades, now. 😜🤌🏼

save

path: 0 22730924 22733773 22734213 22735103, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0

Decq 1 point 7 months ago

Can't you just block the number? Or do they use a lot of different numbers.

save

path: 0 22730924 22733773 22734213 22745955, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1

EldritchFeminity 3 points 7 months ago

I've heard of kids who have had them follow them home from school or even stop them in the middle of the school hallway.

I never had to deal with them, but they apparently can just walk into school in the middle of the day.

People really don't understand just how dystopian the US is and how much of it we take for granted because we grew up in a place where it's normal for elementary students to pledge their undying loyalty to a flag every morning before class starts.

save

path: 0 22730924 22733773 22734213 22745955 22753569, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 13 points 7 months ago

did you take the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery? One day "off" of classes in exchange for taking the military test. In exchange, you give the military your contact information yourself.

i did not take the test. i got way fewer recruitment letters and calls than my friends.

save

path: 0 22730924 22734393, hotness: undefined, score: 13, children: 1

arrow74 10 points 7 months ago

Nope I did not take it nor was I involved in anything like ROTC either.

Calls started being sent to our landline and my parents cellphones which were listed with the high school. After going to university is when they began coming to my cell phone.

save

path: 0 22730924 22734393 22734444, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0

sad_detective_man 10 points 7 months ago

It would be really funny if they did it based on grades

save

path: 0 22730924 22731907, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 6

abbadon420 4 points 7 months ago

You mean high grade is more recruiters.... right?

save

path: 0 22730924 22731907 22733424, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 5

sad_detective_man 16 points 7 months ago

Why would people with job prospects join the army?

save

path: 0 22730924 22731907 22733424 22733509, hotness: undefined, score: 16, children: 4

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 12 points 7 months ago

family tradition is one. You can potentially start as an officer is another. They tried to recruit me to start as a captain given my prior vocational training.

save

path: 0 22730924 22731907 22733424 22733509 22734407, hotness: undefined, score: 12, children: 1

socsa 2 points 7 months ago

I got a 99 on the asvab (everyone at our school took it) and was getting recruiting calls all the way through my PhD program.

save

path: 0 22730924 22731907 22733424 22733509 22748725, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 65 points 7 months ago

"so i understand you take men in your military. did you have to be born that way?" got them to stop calling me altogether back during DADT.

save

path: 0 22734331, hotness: undefined, score: 65, children: 4

explodicle 21 points 7 months ago

I told them I was a conscientious objector in 2001 and never heard from any of them ever again.

save

path: 0 22734331 22735317, hotness: undefined, score: 21, children: 1

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 24 points 7 months ago

when "I am not going to join, please stop calling" doesn't work, you have to know the actual magic words.

save

path: 0 22734331 22735317 22735369, hotness: undefined, score: 24, children: 0

cactusupyourbutt 11 points 7 months ago

unfortunately I fear that gets you put on a list you dont want to be on

save

path: 0 22734331 22739776, hotness: undefined, score: 11, children: 1

frostysauce 6 points 7 months ago

We're already on all the lists.

save

path: 0 22734331 22739776 22751546, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0

suzyq 56 points 7 months ago

Oldest child was contacted via text by a recruiter. We told them to waste their time. Say "yes, I'll talk to you about it if you treat ME to a meal at [local restaurant]." (emphasis mine)

The recruiter ghosted them after that.

save

path: 0 22735503, hotness: undefined, score: 56, children: 4

ChickenLadyLovesLife 29 points 7 months ago

We had an army recruiter come talk to our history class in high school (this was in the '80s). After the guy's talk he said "any questions"?" My friend Rob said "yeah, I have a question: does napalm still stick to kids?"

save

path: 0 22735503 22746741, hotness: undefined, score: 29, children: 0

Maggoty 7 points 7 months ago

Ironically that's a good recruiter. Anything that looks like fraternizing with potential recruits outside official activities is a huge no no.

save

path: 0 22735503 22754261, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0

Agent641 4 points 7 months ago

Buy me dinner before you fuck me.

save

path: 0 22735503 22746857, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0

gandalf_der_12te 1 point 7 months ago

i wouldn't go to said meal. like, having an awkward 1.5 hours with somebody that you don't like? do you know how stressful that is? have you ever been stuck on a bad date?

save

path: 0 22735503 22760932, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

JayleneSlide 48 points 7 months ago

"I mean, I wanna—I wanna kill. Kill. I wan—I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill. Kill. Kill! Kill!" And I started jumpin' up and down yelling, "Kill! Kill!" and he started jumpin' up and down with me and we was both jumpin' up and down yelling, "Kill! Kill!" And the sergeant came over, pinned a medal on me, sent me down the hall, and said, "You're our boy."‎ Didn't feel too good about it.‎

save

path: 0 22730143, hotness: undefined, score: 48, children: 4

village604 15 points 7 months ago

I'm pretty sure it's not, but this feels like something from Full Metal Jacket.

save

path: 0 22730143 22730268, hotness: undefined, score: 15, children: 3

Jomega 32 points 7 months ago

It's from the song Alice's Restaurant.

save

path: 0 22730143 22730268 22730641, hotness: undefined, score: 32, children: 2

grue 25 points 7 months ago

save

path: 0 22730143 22730268 22730641 22732045, hotness: undefined, score: 25, children: 1

Cort 5 points 7 months ago

1000004120

save

path: 0 22730143 22730268 22730641 22732045 22740451, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

X 44 points 7 months ago

I bet b he’s good buddies with SSG Leaudrag.

save

path: 0 22729125, hotness: undefined, score: 44, children: 0

InnerScientist 33 points 7 months ago

save

path: 0 22730869, hotness: undefined, score: 33, children: 2

upbeatdingo 33 points 7 months ago

Is that Barbados Slim?

save

path: 0 22730869 22731186, hotness: undefined, score: 33, children: 0

Jankatarch 1 point 7 months ago

Holy internal hip rotation.

save

path: 0 22730869 22747095, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

NotSteve_ 33 points 7 months ago

Do military recruiters actually just cold call (well, text) you like that in the US?

save

path: 0 22735745, hotness: undefined, score: 33, children: 10

DragonTypeWyvern 33 points 7 months ago

Yes, and of course they're allowed to lie to children as well

save

path: 0 22735745 22736072, hotness: undefined, score: 33, children: 3

LogicalDrivel 17 points 7 months ago

The Army came to my highschool my senior year and put on an exhibition. They had Humvees and APCs and a massive wall of speakers that would make a passerby deaf at 40 yards. You were able to get out of class if you went to the event and listened to their pitch. I was one of like 4 kids who didn't go. Parents weren't told about this in advance, and there were recruiters there with pens waiting.
TBF, my school did have JROTC program but still... I think thats what set off my long history of being anti-that.

save

path: 0 22735745 22736072 22739160, hotness: undefined, score: 17, children: 0

NotSteve_ 9 points 7 months ago

That's crazy but not really surprising to me anymore for the States I guess. I think I've only ever seen an army recruiter once in my life and it was a booth at a convention semi recently

save

path: 0 22735745 22736072 22736168, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 1

dependencyinjection 3 points 7 months ago

From the UK and I’ve ever seen one when actively went to the recruitment office, before I wised up and noped out of that idea.

save

path: 0 22735745 22736072 22736168 22736887, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

resting_parrot 13 points 7 months ago

Yeah, I got a call when I was sixteen or so several years ago. They strung me along for quite a while just acting like they knew me. I was trying to figure out how I knew them and finally they said they were a recruiter and I told them I wasn't interested. I wish I told him to fuck off, but that's not the kind of kind I was.

save

path: 0 22735745 22740337, hotness: undefined, score: 13, children: 0

Jankatarch 11 points 7 months ago

They even come to your highschool class during lesson time to talk with everyone about why military is awesome and you should totally join.

There was also a few month duration each year where army members would setup a table in your school cafetaria and give snacks for talking about military or taking surveys etc.

save

path: 0 22735745 22736528, hotness: undefined, score: 11, children: 3

NotSteve_ 8 points 7 months ago

That's actually fucking absurd wow. I was in the Canadian Air Cadets as a kid and even then I didn't see that level of recruiting. Like even when doing Cadet basic training on an actual air base, it was always just learning drill, shooting, and about how planes worked. I've never in my life been asked or had it suggested to me that I join the military

save

path: 0 22735745 22736528 22739994, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 0

ChickenLadyLovesLife 6 points 7 months ago

Fun fact: the United States hasn't signed the international agreement banning child soldiers because the military allows 17-year-olds to enlist (although they don't actually start their service until they're 18).

save

path: 0 22735745 22736528 22746777, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 1

Maggoty 3 points 7 months ago

I turned 18 in basic training. You can ship to basic while you're 17. And then go to a unit. You are not deployable to a contingency zone (the widest definition of "place you could be injured by enemy fire") until you're 18.

Later on we got a private who actually made it all the way to the unit and had to wait until his 18th birthday to join us on deployment.

save

path: 0 22735745 22736528 22746777 22754377, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

BigDiction 7 points 7 months ago

Yes. Before cell phones were common they called my parents land line asking for me.

Also like any ‘sales’ job metrics matter, so they’ll take a meeting with kids like this even if it doesn’t convert to a recruit in the end.

save

path: 0 22735745 22739647, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0

samus12345 33 points 7 months ago

save

path: 0 22735526, hotness: undefined, score: 33, children: 0

Benchamoneh 23 points 7 months ago

"Have you considered applying for ICE?"

save

path: 0 22740182, hotness: undefined, score: 23, children: 2

WorldsDumbestMan 2 points 7 months ago

"Sure! How big is the ICE machine? Oh, you mean that ICE?"

save

path: 0 22740182 22746878, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1

brygphilomena 5 points 7 months ago

Can I drive a Zamboni? Or or .. do I get free icees?

save

path: 0 22740182 22746878 22748259, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

QueenHawlSera 22 points 7 months ago

I actually wanted to join the military fresh out of high school but I was informed by my recruiter that they don't take autistic people

save

path: 0 22751980, hotness: undefined, score: 22, children: 11

DragonTypeWyvern 25 points 7 months ago

Well that's a damn lie but hey, bullets dodged

save

path: 0 22751980 22752645, hotness: undefined, score: 25, children: 8

QueenHawlSera 3 points 7 months ago

No lies

save

path: 0 22751980 22752645 22753995, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 7

Maggoty 11 points 7 months ago

The recruiter lied. We believe you. But they lied to you.

save

path: 0 22751980 22752645 22753995 22754210, hotness: undefined, score: 11, children: 0

braxy29 6 points 7 months ago

i'm certain the military has its share of undiagnosed autists, tho

save

path: 0 22751980 22752645 22753995 22754199, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 1

Olhonestjim 8 points 7 months ago

Shit tons. Mostly in the nerdier jobs.

save

path: 0 22751980 22752645 22753995 22754199 22755629, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 0

DragonTypeWyvern 2 points 7 months ago

There are medical waivers that are almost always granted if you're willing and able to ask in the first place.

save

path: 0 22751980 22752645 22753995 22754547, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 3

QueenHawlSera 1 point 7 months ago

Wish I knew that back then. Can't sign up for the military now. Trans, and now I have a medical history of suicidal ideation.

save

path: 0 22751980 22752645 22753995 22754547 22755193, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 2

Agent641 6 points 7 months ago

It's a loss to their logistics supply corps.

save

path: 0 22751980 22760637, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0

BradleyUffner 1 point 7 months ago

Same, but my out was a sleep disorder that I grew out of about 5 years prior, before I finished middle school.

save

path: 0 22751980 22761361, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

b0ber 21 points 7 months ago

So you have a heartbeat? Please meet me outside

save

path: 0 22748883, hotness: undefined, score: 21, children: 6

pulsey 3 points 7 months ago

incels and military have a lot in common!

save

path: 0 22748883 22751896, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 5

DragonTypeWyvern 3 points 7 months ago

Incels (like actual incels, not just dudes that hate women having rights) are actually incredibly picky and shallow, that's one of their problems.

save

path: 0 22748883 22751896 22752680, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 3

PhoenixDog -1 points 7 months ago

You don't know what Incel means, do you?

You can't be picky and shallow while also complaining you're Involuntary celibate.

That's like saying someone who's unemployed complaining they can't find a job because they haven't applied to any.

save

path: 0 22748883 22751896 22752680 22756339, hotness: undefined, score: -1, children: 2

zoloftt 2 points 7 months ago

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not, but that's part of the problem. They complain a lot but refuse to either fix their own baggage that makes them unattractive or refuse to lower their own standards... It's EXACTLY like someone complaining about not finding a job, while not applying.

save

path: 0 22748883 22751896 22752680 22756339 22760888, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1

UnderpantsWeevil 1 point 7 months ago

The joke about incels is that they'll blow up your phone with red flags, then freak out if they get anywhere near first base.

save

path: 0 22748883 22751896 22756776, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

anton 18 points 7 months ago

Soooooo, at what day do you get your own grenades?

save

path: 0 22755309, hotness: undefined, score: 18, children: 3

UnderpantsWeevil 9 points 7 months ago

Sooner than you'd think.

save

path: 0 22755309 22756762, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 1

jj4211 5 points 7 months ago

And they'll remove the shipping pin for you before handing it over.

save

path: 0 22755309 22756762 22757068, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

Agent641 2 points 7 months ago

I only need one

save

path: 0 22755309 22760621, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

Olgratin_Magmatoe 17 points 7 months ago

When I was working retail, stocking shelves, one of those scumbags walked up to me and asked "so is this what you want to do for your life, are you happy here?"

Like what the fuck.

save

path: 0 22735567, hotness: undefined, score: 17, children: 2

LogicalDrivel 3 points 7 months ago

I hope you told them to go pound sand. Scumbags.

save

path: 0 22735567 22739203, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 1

Olgratin_Magmatoe 2 points 7 months ago

It was so long ago, I don't remember.

I do remember that they were saying that bullshit to every employee in sight

save

path: 0 22735567 22739203 22743322, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

jj4211 17 points 7 months ago

Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, kill them

save

path: 0 22757124, hotness: undefined, score: 17, children: 1

LordCrom 4 points 7 months ago

Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, kill them clean toilets for 4 years.

save

path: 0 22757124 22761493, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0

ShaggySnacks 15 points 7 months ago

"Are you saying I can take skulls and spill blood? If so, sign me up! I gotta make Daddy Khorne pleased."

save

path: 0 22732535, hotness: undefined, score: 15, children: 0

TipRing 15 points 7 months ago

The bar has been low for at least 30 years. Marine recruiter wouldn't leave me alone even after I started hitting on him.

save

path: 0 22743374, hotness: undefined, score: 15, children: 5

Maggoty 4 points 7 months ago

If you'd have joined then you'd realize your mistake. They just assumed you already had the same sense of humor somehow.

save

path: 0 22743374 22754229, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 3

TipRing 4 points 7 months ago

It was during DADT and I wasn't joking. Though since then I have met more gay marines than any other branch (I guess if you want to prove your manliness to the world...).

save

path: 0 22743374 22754229 22755021, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 2

Maggoty 1 point 7 months ago

Yeah. The humor in the military back then and now is best described as "It's not gay if you say no homo!" And yet somehow also very homophobic. (Less so now than when I was in the army) It wouldn't be hard at all to find a private flirting as a joke.

save

path: 0 22743374 22754229 22755021 22760091, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1

gandalf_der_12te 1 point 7 months ago

save

path: 0 22743374 22754229 22755021 22760091 22760915, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

UnderpantsWeevil 3 points 7 months ago

The bar has been low for at least 30 years.

It was comically easy to get enlisted during Korea if you were under 18. You could just walk up to the office and lie. They'd take you.

save

path: 0 22743374 22756808, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

jeniferariza 10 points 7 months ago

That reply alone should’ve been the end of the conversation 😭

save

path: 0 22756538, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0

ChickenLadyLovesLife 8 points 7 months ago

I assume everyone has heard the Arlo Guthrie thanksgiving song. "I wanna kill, kill, kill, kill!" "You're our boy."

save

path: 0 22746727, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 0

Lololi123 8 points 7 months ago

in Russia, they agitate during their studies, promising a diploma) I can already see how such a person who has received a diploma in this way will work well in education.

save

path: 0 22753841, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 0

Smaile 8 points 7 months ago

at least the SSG still has his sense of humor

save

path: 0 22734684, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 0

HugeNerd 6 points 7 months ago

Our bestest ally and only democracy in the Middle East needs wall lickers to usher in their bizarre delusions.

Want to know more?

save

path: 0 22747297, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 1

BrickEater 1 point 7 months ago

I like Wall Lickers, I'm gonna have to remember that one

save

path: 0 22747297 22749089, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

Lushed_Lungfish 5 points 7 months ago

I wonder what the response would be if you said something like: I'm already in the Navy.

save

path: 0 22748184, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 4

PhoenixDog 3 points 7 months ago

"Fuck.... I'm sorry. I'm so... so so sorry."

save

path: 0 22748184 22756354, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 1

RustyShackleford 1 point 7 months ago

save

path: 0 22748184 22756354 22756757, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

UnderpantsWeevil 1 point 7 months ago

"More like the Gay-vy, amirite? But seriously, just come in and talk. I need at least three other people to fill out a form or they send me to the front."

save

path: 0 22748184 22756798, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

RustyShackleford 1 point 7 months ago

One of my favorite Marx brothers one-liners was always, "Join the Army! See the Navy."

spoiler

You can also write it, "Join the Army! Sea the Navy," if ya wanna be real schmucky.

save

path: 0 22748184 22756783, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0