Costco Pistachios

2 days ago by altphoto to c/mildlyinfuriating

It's like 20% empty shells! WTF! So I look under the bag hoping to find the holy grail of de-shelled pistachio heaven... But nothing!

This is Pistaccio Gate out in the open. Now I have to look over my shoulders.

altphoto 54 points 2 days ago

Hmm ok one time is a statistical coincidence.... But here, no matter how many you pick:

path: 0 25352094, hotness: undefined, score: 54, children: 4
0li0li 49 points 2 days ago

I wanna see you daily pictures till the end of the month.

path: 0 25352094 25352249, hotness: undefined, score: 49, children: 3
altphoto 27 points 2 days ago

Thank I will!

path: 0 25352094 25352249 25352462, hotness: undefined, score: 27, children: 0
altphoto 7 points 2 days ago

Not a single free floating pistachio bean anywhere. But empties galore! WTF!

I mean if I want to buy shells I'll do that.

path: 0 25352094 25352249 25365133, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 1
0li0li 3 points a day ago

Starting to think they throw 15%-20% in there on purpose...

path: 0 25352094 25352249 25365133 25370348, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
AFKBRBChocolate 42 points 2 days ago

On the other hand, last I checked, they were SO much cheaper at costco than the grocery store that I wouldn't complain about some empties.

path: 0 25352579, hotness: undefined, score: 42, children: 3
Lucidlethargy -4 points 2 days ago

Looks like they're cheaper because a large portion are empty.

Probably not worth buying these.

path: 0 25352579 25354246, hotness: undefined, score: -4, children: 2
AFKBRBChocolate 11 points 2 days ago

At my Costco, pistachios are $20 for a 48 oz bag, so 41 cents an ounce. At my local Ralph's, they're $11 for a 16 oz bag, so 68 cents an ounce. So the grocery store is 67% more expensive. That's way more than the percentage of empty shells we're seeing, and I doubt the shells weigh as much as the nuts.

path: 0 25352579 25354246 25362325, hotness: undefined, score: 11, children: 0
anomnom 4 points 2 days ago

If they are more than 25% cheaper it’s still worth it if you are already at a Costco.

path: 0 25352579 25354246 25359915, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
Kattiydid 28 points 2 days ago

MY TIME HAS COME!!!!!

At Costco you can buy the big 3 lb bag of in-shell pistachios for 19.99 or the one and a half pound bag of pre-shelled pistachios for 20.99, implying that the pre-shell the pistachios are just over twice as expensive.

HOWEVER!!! I, the crazy persistent stubborn AuDHD person that I am, decided that I wanted to know for sure just how much better a deal the 3 lb in shell bag was, SO I SHELLED ALL THREE LBS IN ONE SITTING, EATING NONE UNTIL I WAS FINISHED!!! Crazy? Maybe. But I learned THE TRUTH which is that when you weigh the pistachios alone without the shell you get ALMOST EXACTLY one and a half lbs of nuts!

Also, sometimes the nuts were bad inside the shell, I got probably a quarter cup of pistachios that were the dark nasty looking bitter ones out of the whole bag. That's not many but I feel like I get fewer than that when I get the pre-shelled ones.

IN CONCLUSION!!!: when you buy the 3 lb bag all you are doing is paying for the privilege of shelling your own pistachios! You do not get any more nuts!!! If you like the salt and pepper nuts you still have to buy the ones in Shell, if the point for you is to have something that you have to open and eat slowly so you can have a snack that takes you a long time but isn't double fisting handfuls of nuts into your mouth all at once, that's fine, do you do you and go in peace.

But!!! if you just wanted the nuts and you do not give a shit about the shell and you were buying the in shell ones because you thought they were cheaper, I SET YOU FREE!!!!!

path: 0 25362217, hotness: undefined, score: 28, children: 8
ReluctantMuskrat 11 points 2 days ago

I absolutely buy the ones in-shell to slow myself down. Nuts are delicious but super high calorie and I'm a fiend!

path: 0 25362217 25364415, hotness: undefined, score: 11, children: 1
Kattiydid 2 points a day ago

Valid! Totally valid reason to get the inshell ones. 😁

path: 0 25362217 25364415 25368740, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
SkyezOpen 7 points 2 days ago

But I like licking the salt off the shells.

path: 0 25362217 25362946, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 1
rumba 3 points 2 days ago

I'd rather lick the salt off the nuts /s

path: 0 25362217 25362946 25364932, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
ShaggySnacks 5 points 2 days ago

I like the shells. The shells are nice and crunchy. Great way to clear out the digestive track and work my jaw muscles.

path: 0 25362217 25365023, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 2
Kattiydid 3 points a day ago

My first thought was " your poor anus" XD

path: 0 25362217 25365023 25368799, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 1
ShaggySnacks 2 points 11 hours ago

My anus has been toughened up from years of eating shells.

path: 0 25362217 25365023 25368799 25384549, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
lightnsfw 4 points 2 days ago

This kind of shit is why I go on the Internet. Thank you.

path: 0 25362217 25362912, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
HulkSmashBurgers 26 points 2 days ago

That's nuts!

path: 0 25362862, hotness: undefined, score: 26, children: 0
curiousaur 25 points 2 days ago

I think I must have got your loose ones because I had about that many extra.

path: 0 25353566, hotness: undefined, score: 25, children: 0
Rhynoplaz 21 points 2 days ago

This is why I always remove the shells at the store before they weigh the bag!

path: 0 25352263, hotness: undefined, score: 21, children: 5
ChicoSuave 25 points 2 days ago

I'm not sure where you buy pistachios but Costco and many other stores in America seal them at set weights.

path: 0 25352263 25352447, hotness: undefined, score: 25, children: 3
k0e3 8 points 2 days ago

Bulkbarn in Canada, maybe? But that's weird to do imo.

path: 0 25352263 25352447 25353610, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 2
ChicoSuave 7 points 2 days ago

If I saw someone handling every single pistachio and setting some back after getting their booger hooks on them I would complain to the store.

path: 0 25352263 25352447 25353610 25356711, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 1
k0e3 2 points 2 days ago

Same. I'd probably complain to the person directly.

Maybe I'd even stick my hands in their nutsack bag of shelled pistachios before they purchase them to see if they like their nuts being fondled handled by strangers.

path: 0 25352263 25352447 25353610 25356711 25359793, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
kate 2 points a day ago

i peel my bananas first for the same reason 🀠

path: 0 25352263 25366036, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
Che_Donkey 18 points 2 days ago

Welcome to Costco, I love you

path: 0 25354123, hotness: undefined, score: 18, children: 0
yaroto98 14 points 2 days ago

Did they fall out and the nuts are at the bottom of the bag?

path: 0 25352207, hotness: undefined, score: 14, children: 3
altphoto 26 points 2 days ago

Nope! No delicious bottom!

path: 0 25352207 25352454, hotness: undefined, score: 26, children: 2
rabidhamster 28 points 2 days ago

Don't sell yourself short

path: 0 25352207 25352454 25353253, hotness: undefined, score: 28, children: 0
dharmacurious 11 points 2 days ago

I see I'm being summoned...

path: 0 25352207 25352454 25353259, hotness: undefined, score: 11, children: 0
mrmisses 14 points 2 days ago

But the empty ones are fun to snap closed! I see this as a win

path: 0 25352637, hotness: undefined, score: 14, children: 1
altphoto 7 points 2 days ago

Ok, you are not wrong.

path: 0 25352637 25353232, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0
charade_you_are 10 points 2 days ago

i always wanted a warranty for my pistachios, especially if they don't open

path: 0 25352488, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0
Snapz 9 points 2 days ago

Never realized the incentives these ghouls have to add empty shells to the mix to bulk the bag.... Diabolical. If it isn't intentional, venture capital is watching and it's certainly now their next rock to squeeze blood from.

path: 0 25361999, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 8
Adderbox76 10 points 2 days ago

I'm all for a good conspiracy theory, but I can practically guarantee you that no one is inspecting every singe nut looking for empty shells to bulk up the bag.

Other than a certain amount of each batch that is kept aside for quality control testing, the bags are filled by machines on a conveyor belt. I doubt a human even looks at them until they're at the final stage and ready for the last quality control test.

It's completely random how many empties there will be in a bag. OP was just unlucky this time.

path: 0 25361999 25363752, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 3
tetris11 2 points 2 days ago

Also, the unshelled nuts might still be in the bag. Shit shakes loose, ya know

path: 0 25361999 25363752 25364723, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
wieson 1 point 2 days ago

They don't need to. If they passed the nuts over a shaky conveyor to collect those tasty expensive deshelled nuts, they'd have bulking shells for free.

path: 0 25361999 25363752 25364709, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
Snapz 1 point a day ago

See my other response, it's very much not random. Every processed product in the modern world is hyper optimized for profit. At the least , they know the average weight of shell with nut and without in grams or something smaller. Also likely a hopper with high speed cameras to count yield per bag to maintain exact profit margins. There could be, and likely is, a scale at the end of line that weighs and would five a fairly faithful estimate of empty percentage per bag. And all that is automated.

Problem is that infrastructure likely exists more or less and they have just turned up the acceptable percentage of empties probably. Like anything else, VC pushes those lines quarter after quarter until people might revolt (or in another time, an administration regulates an acceptable amount of "defective" product).

path: 0 25361999 25363752 25365945, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
lightnsfw 4 points 2 days ago

I usually find a bunch of shelless ones in the bottom of the bag.

path: 0 25361999 25362888, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
dream_weasel 3 points 2 days ago

So... consider that if they scoop them one bag at a time from a large container nobody is adding extra shells, some of the nuts fall to the bottom of the container.

That means some bags at the end of each batch will be lucky and others (like this one) won't. The math is probably something along the lines of "how can I optimize the cooking and prep process to keep at least XXX percent of nuts in the shells?" and not "How can I guarantee each bag has statistically equal nuts and shells" or "Mwahahaha how can I source empty shells to fill 20% of all bags!"

path: 0 25361999 25363298, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 2
Snapz 1 point a day ago

You are seriously underestimating the industrial factory technology at scale to do quality control when processing food. If they wanted, they could literally remove individual ants from the flow of 5 ton sacks of coffee beans, in a sustainable way. They literally have lasers and sensors to find undesirable product and knock it out of high speed belt flows of fruits and vegetables with micro targeted jets of air and things like that.

You're mistake is is that you are thinking of how YOU would sort these yourself, that's part of our problem as humans, we have a bit of a narcissistic bias. Similar to trump people that think, " he's doing well enough... I'd do a but better probably, but he's doing okay" they are comparing to themselves as baseline, when they aren't even near qualified either.

path: 0 25361999 25363298 25365805, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1
dream_weasel 2 points a day ago

While that is true that factories CAN be extremely detailed in their process, everything is driven by cost efficiency. If it is more efficient to process a large batch instead of a small one, what happens in this thread is what you get. There is no reason to say "oh they could remove those shells!" because it's only a thing worth doing if it's cost effective.

So I guess yes you're right it's fixable but only if it's a problem people care about. I think it's fundamentally crazier to think you can figure what is profitable for pistachios from a thread by some rando better than the company that makes them.

Maybe it's a conspiracy, probably it's process optimization.

path: 0 25361999 25363298 25365805 25366659, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
BigDiction 7 points 2 days ago

Pistachio market is getting squeezed by drought in California, and the second largest exporter, Iran, is having a bit of trouble getting product out of the country.

path: 0 25359759, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0
lemmygarden 7 points 2 days ago

eat half the bag and return them for a refund

path: 0 25352423, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 1
altphoto 4 points 2 days ago

Hilarious!

path: 0 25352423 25352469, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
MrNesser 2 points 2 days ago

I've hated pistachios ever since I was on a bus and I saw a guy eat a full bag of them put the shells on his lap then let them fall when he stood up.

Fucker littered the bus with his left overs.

path: 0 25354591, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 5
NoPanko 25 points 2 days ago

I feel like your hate maybe a wee bit misplaced here…

path: 0 25354591 25354696, hotness: undefined, score: 25, children: 4
MrNesser 2 points 2 days ago

No I'm good Never really liked nuts anyway but this cracked it for me

path: 0 25354591 25354696 25355989, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 3
wibble 4 points 2 days ago

Brought you out of your shell?

path: 0 25354591 25354696 25355989 25358426, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 1
MrNesser 1 point 2 days ago

Crushed my soul

path: 0 25354591 25354696 25355989 25358426 25359635, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
scutiger 1 point 2 days ago

It's ok though, pistachios aren't nuts.

path: 0 25354591 25354696 25355989 25363796, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
mildlyinfuriating
mildlyinfuriating

@lemmy.world

login for more options
47226
1903
7517

Home to all things "Mildly Infuriating" Not infuriating, not enraging. Mildly Infuriating. All posts should reflect that. Please post actually infuriating posts to !actually_infuriating@lemmy.world

I want my day mildly ruined, not completely ruined. Please remember to refrain from reposting old content. If you post a post from reddit it is good practice to include a link and credit the OP. I'm not about stealing content!

It's just good to get something in this website for casual viewing whilst refreshing original content is added overtime.


Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content

Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means: -No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam

Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/Explicit

Content


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,

Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...


7. Content should match the theme of this community.

-Content should be Mildly infuriating. If your post better fits !Actually_Infuriating put it there.

-The Community !actuallyinfuriating has been born so that's where you should post the big stuff.

...


8. Reposting of Reddit content is permitted, but attribution is not required in any way. No links to Reddit in post body

-If you would like to provide a source link, do so in the comments but not in the post body.

...

...


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Lemmy Review

2.Lemmy Be Wholesome

3.Lemmy Shitpost

4.No Stupid Questions

5.You Should Know

6.Credible Defense


Reach out to LillianVS for inclusion on the sidebar.

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules.

go to feed...