One day, your desires will devour you
men of the rule, is this true?
9 days ago by TotallynotJessica to c/onehundredninetysix
ThunderComplex 34 points 9 days ago
And the third wish: Hoping the tummy ache goes away fast because you just drank way too much choccy mjölk
FreddiesLantern 2 points 8 days ago
Oh there deff are products out there that beat milk. I used to drink chocolate soymilk. Upsides: it genuinely tastes delicious (depending on the brand) and it's a lot easier on the tummy.
tenchiken 26 points 9 days ago
Fun story...
Back in the late 90s, several friends and I were doing the extreme Frisbee thing. An hour or so of just running around like the idiots we were, full tilt.
We stop and hit up the gas station at the corner. Most of us pick up things like Gatorade or soda etc... Not Dave.
This legend grabs 2 fucking jugs, about a gallon in total between them, of full fat chocolate milk.
We get to the check out, pay for the batch. Most of us start drinking right there because we're absurdly thirsty.
Dave pounds down both jugs immediately... Not even stopping for breath.
You likely see this coming.... We all did. Slow motion car crash...
Up it comes without delay. Just 1/2/3...
Chocolate milk
Chocolate milk
..... Chocolate milk.
The attendant for the shop got a $150 tip that day.
Dave was the best.
justdaveisfine 8 points 9 days ago
Hell yeah Dave
jballs 8 points 9 days ago
I had a coworker named Frank. Frank was not the smartest guy. He wasn't even the biggest guy. But Frank could EAT. He took a first date to a pizza place once and split an 18" pizza. The date had a slice. Frank ate the rest.
Around 2007 or so, there was this milk challenge thing floating around where people online were trying to drink a gallon of milk. All of them inevitably failed, because that is a shit load of milk. However, Frank was convinced that he could do it. So much so that he was willing to put money on it. We had a conversation like this.
Me: Frank, no way can you drink a gallon of milk. It's too much.
Frank: Absolutely I can. Wait. Can it be chocolate milk?
Me: Sure, Frank. Normal. Chocolate. Doesn't matter.
Frank: Oh then absolutely I can.
As dumb as Frank was though, he was actually smart...ish on this one. Before doing it at work with money on the line, he wanted to do it at home first. So he went home that night and tried it.
Next day, Frank surprisingly wasn't at work. He had called in sick. When he finally came back, I asked him how his attempt went. Frank didn't want to talk about it.
TheMinions 4 points 9 days ago
You skipped Apple cider season!
Major_Tsiom 14 points 9 days ago
Put 4 shots of espresso in them then yes.
saltnotsugar 15 points 9 days ago
That’s why I order a mocha. It’s chocky milk and no one can accuse you of not being an adult.
mycodesucks 9 points 9 days ago
Patently untrue.
We desire to drink directly from the jug.
TotallynotJessica 15 points 9 days ago
ParanoidAndroid 7 points 8 days ago
Milk is for baby cows. Real men drink chocolate beer.
boobookittyfrick 6 points 8 days ago
Heck imagine three glasses of chocolate milk
CoffeeSoldier 1 point 8 days ago
I don't live alone so this would be inhumane.
boobookittyfrick 1 point 8 days ago
thedarkfly 6 points 8 days ago
Anybody else sees an optical illusion in which the right-hand glass is tilted to the left?
FreddiesLantern 1 point 8 days ago
That's enough choccy for you today (because I'm seeing it two).
kolmaskommentoija 1 point 8 days ago
Just add oat -prefix to the milk, and it should be fine. As long as the chocolate is fair trade too.
IrateAnteater 4 points 9 days ago
Not always true. Give me regular milk or give me water. Never had any interest in chocolate milk.
DaGreenGobbo 4 points 9 days ago
By regular you mean human, right? Sure would be weird to drink the secretions from other animals' udders.
Interstellar_1 4 points 9 days ago
Not me, but I could reasonably qualify as not a man.
UltraBlack 3 points 8 days ago
Popping a choccy milk
Simulation6 2 points 8 days ago
Do you mean a Yoo-hoo?
trem 5 points 9 days ago
I really wouldn't be so sure that you're not lactose-intolerant.
Something to be aware of is that it's not a disease, it's actually the default for an adult mammal to lose the ability to digest lactose, because evolution doesn't expect us to continue drinking boob juice forever.
It's mostly just Northern Europe that doesn't typically have it + of course, the regions that got colonized from there: https://en.wikipedia.org/...
If you can find some pre-mixed chocolate oat milk somewhere, I can recommend trying that. For, uh, science reasons, I happen to know that I can consume a liter of it at once.
At that point, some parts of my body do want me to calm down, just because it's a huge amount of liquid to consume in one go.
So, maybe you're hitting the same after just two glasses, but your description also seriously just sounds like a light lactose-intolerance to me.
Jankatarch 3 points 8 days ago
Lactose intolerance wrote this.
SeeMarkFly 3 points 9 days ago
I buy a gallon of whole milk and when it is about half gone I'll buy a half gallon of chocolate milk and pour that into the gallon container. I MADE a gallon of chocolate milk.
ToiletFlushShowerScream 3 points 9 days ago
Thank you for not putting ice in it like advertisements often do.
gandalf_der_12te 1 point 8 days ago
warm milk > cold milk
Lucidlethargy 3 points 8 days ago
Y'all ever buy that pre-mixed stuff at the store? Holy shit.
KulunkelBoom 3 points 9 days ago
The pair thing makes sense.
chiliedogg 3 points 8 days ago
My kink is mixing in some vanilla extract.
CoffeeSoldier 1 point 8 days ago
Vanilla is a chocolate enhancer. For some reason many people's brains have been programmed to think it's like anti-chocolate but nothing is further from the truth.
dylanTheDeveloper 2 points 8 days ago
If have two hands then why not 2 milk
damnthefilibuster 2 points 9 days ago
That’s chai, bro.
TotallynotJessica 1 point 9 days ago
don't call me bro, pal
damnthefilibuster 2 points 8 days ago
Don’t call me pal, buddy
TotallynotJessica 1 point 8 days ago
don't call me buddy, sis
FreddiesLantern 2 points 8 days ago
I'm not your cis guy!!
Lushed_Lungfish 2 points 8 days ago
Damn straight.
ArmchairAce1944 2 points 8 days ago
I have been having high protein chocolate milk and I can answer... Yes.
tigeruppercut 1 point 8 days ago
The classic "would you rather" question: for the rest of your life give up chocolate or cheese.
I could never give up pizza.
infinitesunrise 2 points 8 days ago
Cheese has physically addictive properties. The casein protein (Which is also what causes curdling) is digested into casomorphins, which can bind to opioid receptors in the same manner as dopamine.
ArmchairAce1944 2 points 8 days ago
Are you sure you don't mean breast milk. I mean breast milk! I mean... Breast milk!
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Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very "off topic".
Bigotry is not allowed, this includes (but is not limited to): Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Sexism, Abelism, Classism, or discrimination based on things like Ethnicity, Nationality, Language, or Religion.
Avoid shilling for corporations, posting advertisements, or promoting exploitation of workers.
Proselytization, support, or defense of authoritarianism is not welcome. This includes but is not limited to: imperialism, nationalism, genocide denial, ethnic or racial supremacy, fascism, Nazism, Marxism-Leninism, Maoism, etc.
Avoid AI generated content.
Avoid misinformation.
Avoid incomprehensible posts.
No threats or personal attacks.
No spam.
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- Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
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- Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
- Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
- Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
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- Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
- Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
- Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
- First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
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- Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
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Two glasses of chocolate milk at the same time
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