Why does it seem like women are more wont to make noise in sexual situations while men don't?
3 years ago by _number8_ to c/nostupidquestions
didn't we all grow up needing to be secretive? is it because of the adage of how 'everyone thinks women are hot' so like even straight women would get turned on more by their own moaning?
like as a guy i don't even...have the impulse to involve my voice in it at all
I've also always thought it may have to do with social conditioning, but possibly on a non-sexual level. My thought is that guys are (generally) conditioned to be more quiet about intimate things, or things that are good, and more loud in "aggressive" situations. This fits well with the factual observation that men are less likely to talk about personal problems with a friend, and more likely to push the boundaries (be vocal) in an interview. In my head, it's an extension of the "strong, silent" stereotype, which is often regarded as positive. Women, on the other hand, are (typically) socially conditioned to be more vocal about feelings in general. I wouldn't be surprised if these conditionings bleed over into how vocal people are during sex.
With that said: I'm a guy, and my gf likes it when I make noises. Once I got used to it, I also learned to enjoy grunting. Grunting is highly recommended.
I make some noise, no idea how enjoyable it is for the other person, mostly alot of grunting or abusive language. It gets comedic when I’m like, “Yeah bitch, I’m gonna fuck that pussy all night.” Then I cum like 10 seconds later.
This is why lesbians have better sex.
You have fingers and a mouth, you don't need to stop fucking all night after you cum.
As a straight, I wish I had fingers and a mouth.
Words cannot describe my confusion.
Men with and without penises also can have multiple orgasms.
As a straight male, I too have fingers and a mouth
I've just realised you all saw the word lesbian and short circuited, deciding everything following that word was supposedly all about lesbians, and not about the dude who says he stops fucking after he cums.
Bruh. Try rereading my comment this way, it might make it easier for you to parse without your fantasy lesbians distracting you in the first sentence.
You have fingers and a mouth, you don't need to stop fucking all night after you cum.
This is why lesbians have better sex.
Lol calm down it was an off hand joke. Not a great joke and it clearly didn't land but it certainly wasn't some grand statement meant to offend
The problem is more that cumming is the goal for many guys.
I may won't last long when penetrating, but we still have fun for hours before and after it.
And I think that's a point about how to approach sex, not about sexual identity
I'm glad you understand the point i was making.
As a woman that sounds fucking exhausting. I finish as soon as I can and am not interested in going for hours. My boyfriend would want to buy I have sleep or snacks or games to get to. Heck, I'm fine not even finishing and I get annoyed he insists I do. Omg I'm so exhausted just thinking about it ugh.
Can you rephrase the question? I don't understand what you're trying to ask.
This is the funniest honesty I've heard in a long time. Thank you.
Trans woman here, and I can say from first hand experience that hormones change sexual response and desire. I'm guessing (and only guessing) that that is at least a part of the reason.
I know my own experience changed and i vocalise more, but even I can't tell you why.
You know I've never really thought about it until now, but besides the hormones helping your body match who you are, do the hormones change anything mentally? I assume no personality changes, but I've wondered if things like senses, pain, temperature tolerance etc. change.
Edit: that's wild y'all. thanks for the answers.
Oh goddess does the temperature tolerance change. Turns out the fat distribution matters a lot for that!
Also yeah there's a line in the first altered carbon book about how for men, skin is armor, and for women, a sensory organ, and it's a little exaggerated, but it's pointing at a real thing.
Re personality: that's harder to judge, because you have so much going on. It's a major change in your life, you're altering how you and the world interact with each other, so it would be hard to avoid your personality going through a rock to mud transition and shifting, but I think there's definitely some shift towards social responsibility, yeah. Obviously there isn't an exact measurement, but I think it's pretty common.
I've never heard about women's skin being generally more sensitive, that's really interesting! I always thought the difference in temperature tolerance had to do with women having a thicker sub-skin fat layer (might not be the correct English term for "underhudsfett"). Have you noticed any other physiological changes that you think can be attributed to the transition?
Sorry if I'm a bit direct, I just think the biology of the human body is fascinating, and I've never really before thought of the insight that we can get from people that have experienced "both sides" of the spectrum, so to speak.
Pelvic tilt is a pretty obvious one, part of why women have shapelier asses and also reduces height a little bit. Emotions definitely feel more accessible, although I have heard that trans guys also get some of that sometimes so that might have more to do with dissociating less, but I also get some urge to cry at stuff like... Last night I was watching a movie with my girlfriend and characters were talking about people they'd lost, and it was an effort not to cry.
You can ask me literally anything you actually want to know about without losing points with me. Just be sure you want to know. There's a pretty good chance I'll answer and if you didn't want to know you might have regrets.
There's no common language name for the fat layer under the skin in English. The medical term is most often used which is subcutaneous fat.
Edit: Using "cutaneous" for skin is borrowing straight from Latin which is a little odd. Not because of the Latin, lots of medical and scientific terminology is Latin origin, but because almost every other time we talk about the skin we use the Greek term "dermis".
I just want to say that I was on the fence about Lemmy but reading this very interesting thread about changes to the human body being explained by reference to sci-fi confirmed for me that this is a cool place that I will enjoy visiting. Thank you.
Glad I could help! Enjoy your time here!
Cis, but I've heard that MtF typically your vision becomes more sensitive to color differences, and FtM it becomes more sensitive to shapes and outlines.
So personality changes in the same way antidepressants have them. But yeah the rest absolutely. I became more scent over vision, increased pain tolerance relative to mental state (but happy has way less physical pain tolerance than dead inside so it’s not necessarily an increase), and everything is too damn cold
Trans man, I would say I vocalize more now that I'm T but that might just have to do with my life circumstances significantly improving at the same time, so I tend use my voice more often in general.
Any noise I make would be forced, and that's just awkward for everybody.
Because of this : https://en.wikipedia.org/...
Thank you for posting this. I knew a woman's orgasm had a purpose in insemination but vocalizations indicating the best time for male ejaculation makes sense.
And about a billion times more sense than some of the nonsense posted in this thread.
A lot of that bs has been disproven. Orgasm plays next to no reproductive function (beyond, ya know, incentivising us to wanna bone)
slurpy cervix theory
Recent studies have shown that just as likely women have other reasons to use their voice during sex. For example to boost their partners self-esteem, etc.
Please don't just save in your head "women moan to indicate best time for ejaculation".
Fair enough! I was looking at that Wikipedia entry and that's where I got that but I'm open to other non-cavewoman-gangbang answers.
Personally I'm loud every second I'm having fun and I can't say I know of any scientific weapon for it. But it'd be nice for that to be more optional than it is!
Except there is clearly a potential link that deserves further study to come to a conclusion? There's more credibility backing this being a possible origin than there is to the argument "stupid horny male scientists like thinking about caveman gangbangs. Social construct, guys."
I'd like to hear an actual counter theory that isn't hiding behind identity politics or an emotional response. I've already stated that this hypothesis isn't concrete fact, but you're being willfully ignorant if you don't believe there's any merit to it.
On the other hand, recent studies have indicated that most copulatory vocalizations in women do not accompany their own orgasm, but rather their partner's ejaculation. The study showed that the man typically finds the woman's vocalization arousing and highly exciting, and that the woman herself is aware of this.
Try it sometime, my wife loves it and I grew to not be shy about it. There is something about letting out moans and noises that makes sex so much better.
Hell yeah, brother. Helps you get into that primal mode.
I are more wont for the same reason.
You guys are all over thinking this. A lot. I'm pretty sure it's because basically all porn has a very loud female role and a near silent male role. There's been lots of studies on how porn affects people's actual sex lives. Vocalization is a part of that. Girls watch it in formative years, learn "This must be what my partner will find hot," just like tons of other emulated behavior from other media. Boys do the same.
my gf loves it when i make noise
Same reason dogs don't bark when they chase the mail truck.
Before I transitioned I was pretty much silent. Hormones affected that some, but I have to say I got way more vocal post-op. First time I got it in the vagina I was quite loud.
I think some of it is just what genitals people are rocking.
See moaning and panting and the softly whispered "fuuuuucky yes" more as a means of expressing arousal and excitement. My SO is fairly vocal (involuntarily, I love it), but I had to learn it first. It really feels good tho', I suppose it depends on what your partner wants/likes?
My honest guess is all of it
I find myself trying to pay attention to how she responds.
gonna agree with conditioning - we've been indoctrinated (by society) to behave in certain ways - like "men dont cry", etc (they do). people acting in certain ways in certain situations is normal - and expected. we've been programmed to expect it and respond to it.
@blahsay@lemmy.world is probably right about early conditioning for guys. But it can also change, and a lot of men are fairly vocal.
It's conditioning by porn.
In my experience, if you don't make sounds as a woman during sex, the guy will become insecure, ask what's wrong, straight out demand you make some sounds or even bring out stories about previous sexual encounters with other women.
Also, some men moan. I think it's hot if it's natural and not forced because a man's voice can be a turn-on.
Because they're getting fucked.
I don't know how I know the answer to this, and I'll try to keep it brief and simplify something more complex than I can go into given I'm typing on my phone, but here goes:
This goes wayyyyyyy back into our past as human beings. Women largely vocalize more than men during sex as a way to signal to other males in the area that sex is happening and that they should join in. It's encouragement for the male, but it goes deeper (heh) than that - the human penis is quite large as far as body to dick ratio for animals goes, and there are two reasons for that; the head is designed to 'scoop' competing males' semen out with each thrust in preparation for replacing it with the dick-haver's own, while the longer shaft allows deeper penetration in order to scoop as much as possible.
So basically, when a woman moans loudly, it's signifying she's ready to go, and that the strongest male in a group will be the one to eventually impregnate her. It's literally a survival of the fittest mechanism.
Now obviously that isn't the reason for it these days, as we're all aware that our intelligence as a species makes sex a vastly more complex thing than it is for other animals at this point in our evolutionary path, but that's what researchers believe is the origin of sexy female noises.
EDIT: This is a legitimate hypothesis. Not everything is some modern social construct with no link to any evolutionary advantages and survival of the fittest. I'm sorry if this challenges your narrow worldview.
https://en.wikipedia.org/...
I hate this hypothesis and I highly doubt any women were involved with developing it.
Gender does give some unique insights to things though. When only one sex are the only ones looking at something, particularly something that has an effect in a psychology or physiology based thing it's way easier to overlook a detail of something that they have never experienced. When science was the domain of almost exclusively men there were a lot of easily provable false things in regards to women and archeological finds that were just taken as gospel because nobody thought to prioritize or consider different perspectives. When you study a sex like they are an animal with no internal perspective, unique cultural expectations or values you make a lot of mistakes.
Like they never bothered mapping the internal structure of the clit until 1998. The internal structure is actually a lot bigger than you'd think.
I’d like to unscrew my eyeballs, put them in a hard bristle boot brush to remove the outer layer and then put them back in my sockets so I can be free of this comment. We moan because it feels good. If you want to try and go further perhaps because we haven’t been conditioned as much to suppress emotion. As to the shape of the head….if anything the shape would serve as a plug for the current male’s own sperm to prevent it from coming out. C’mom
I never doubted it’s someone’s hypothesis, that doesn’t make it any less absurd
I didn't just make this up, it's a legitimate hypothesis. Someone else posted a wiki link to it (https://en.wikipedia.org/...)
Not everything is some patriarchal social conditioning conspiracy, dude.
OP asked a question, I (and a few others) posted a possible answer. The pushback against this theory in particular seems to stem not from a place of reason, but from a place of emotion. I'd love to see genuine refutation to this theory, because it certainly isn't concrete fact, but when the only thing I see is "lol stupid horny men and their fantasies" and "where were the WOMEN on this scientific study?" you'll have to excuse me if I don't think they're worth entertaining as good faith rebuttals.
Well wayyy back in the day men knew they had to be quiet a lot since they were the ones out chasing food and hiding from tigers and shit. The females at the time would be in a safer area with the children. Maybe it’s survival instinct 😂
In case you are wondering about the downvotes: You are representing an extremely oversimplified and from what we know also wrong image of early humans. I suppose you meant to be funny, but this is something they probably teach at some schools and it is concerning.
'Cave women gangbangs'
You can tell the men who came up with this idea were getting off on it.
I don't think it's purely that, because I don't moan when I masturbate, but I do with a partner. I think it's just about communicating what is good to your partner. I don't have to communicate what spot is good to myself. I breathe heavier, but I don't moan or say "right there" to myself.
@Ataraxia there's so much diversity in the world!
I was probably doing it like 10x a day when I was a teen. Went to an all girls boarding school and it was just well known that most people there did it.
Start a bit later on average and rub one out a bit less than guys. There's a fair chunk of the female population that have never masturbated. Shocking I know! Not as socially acceptable perhaps? 🤷
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I always thought it was purely social conditioning, but I've got a theory that just popped in my head. I wonder if women need to be more vocal to communicate "Yes that's good, keep doing that"? Like frankly my partner is often in charge of pace, depth, and even calling for position changes. I'm letting him know with my noises how good something is for me, If you should keep doing it, or if I get quiet he knows to try something different. I don't mind him being quiet at all, until I'm on top and then I'm like I literally cannot tell if this is good for you. I have to ask out loud "is that good?" And then change something, "is that good?" After a blow-job I have to ask him, what parts did you like more than the other parts? Obviously I can tell he's into it overall, but It's really hard to know if a rhythm or amount of pressure is better than another if moaning doesn't increase when you try something. Like he can absolutely tell when he hits a good spot when fingering me because my moans make it very obvious. I will straight say, "yes," "please," "right there," "don't move." All kinds of stuff. It's not just about making it hotter for the other person, it's about communicating how good something is for you so they don't have to do as much guessing
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