It's the adult version of hitting a girl in the shoulder at the playground and then running away.
It's the adult version of hitting a girl in the shoulder at the playground and then running away.
The real irony is that if you change the question just a bit, it can be used for flirting:
Oh, you like that band? Cool, which songs do you like? You don't know any? Girl, let me tell you, they're awesome! What's your name?
I don't mean this as a damning counterpoint but I can think of at least one occasion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqK-i6KSY88
Men don't ask women that either ops larping
Edit: large amounts of comments stand me corrected. the social circles i move in howrver habe never had this happen
I've had a similar exchange happen twice. The first, I was asked to name songs from the band's earlier albums (i.e. songs that hadn't been played at the gig). The other time, it wasn't asked as a question, but like "I bet you couldn't even name [arbitrary number] of their songs".
It definitely happens, and besides those specific instances, I've had countless gatekeepy comments that allude to me only [wearing band t-shirt/having video game pins/patches on my bag/being at a gig] to pick up guys because obviously I'm a massively slutty succubus who only haa hobbies to help me find prey.
It's such a weird accusation anyway because even if it were true, I'm not sure how wearing a gaming pin makes you more attractive but whatever, that would mean that it works in which case they shouldn't care.
Oof, there is so many leaps of logic that you better stretch before reading.
According those men, women only have romance in their minds. So if they are showing interest in [male dominated subject] is because she wants to stand out by ”not being like the other girls". Even if it were true, surely it should be be the guys'responsibility to not hit on girls that shows them the slightest bit of attention, right? Of course not, guys can't be held responsible over their own sexual urges! So its the evil woman's fault for seducing the men by simply existing, and causeing them to fight amongst each other for her attention. She must be excluded for the sake of keeping the fandom healthy!
: /
It’s such a weird accusation anyway because even if it were true, I’m not sure how wearing a gaming pin makes you more attractive but whatever, that would mean that it works in which case they shouldn’t care.
Not to defend those kind of guys, but narcissistic women do exist and do stuff like that to get attention from communities that dont have a lot of women in it. And there are people that do the same so they can make money from cosplay modelling or Only Fans.
These kinds of comments tend to come from guys who say they wish that they could get a girlfriend with the same interests as them. Their poor self worth makes them hyper-fixate on acquiring a romantic or sexual relationship, and it's easier to blame their lack of success here on there not being any women who share their interests than to recognise they're being assholes (and that you don't need perfect overlap in interests with a partner).
So a nerdy pin on my bag, often to them, it does make me more attractive, because there I am, the mythical species they've been hunting for, the nerdy, big tiddy goth gf that would solve all their problems. Except people like me are used to assholes like this and have little patience for them, which raises the question: if women who share their hobbies exist, and reject them, what does this say about their previous cope-lie that they told themselves?
But that's a difficult question to face, so it's easier to reduce me down to a sexual object and get angry at me for being an infiltrator. I must be, because otherwise why would women within their hobby be so averse to interacting with them?
Are they so incel they don't want girls to pick them up? I don't even understand their logic here.
Oh, I must have hallucinated all those times it happened to me, then! Thank fuck you were here to set me straight, my little woman brain must have just gotten all hysterical for no reason.
Wasn't the implication that if OP was larping, then any woman making that claim was not to be taken seriously?
Unfortunately I've watched my guy friend do this to his gf and then followed it up by shutting her down when she didn't answer immediately.
Terrible advice. If men like that really exist in the real world I wouldn’t suggest antagonising them. My advice to anyone is to learn how to say “I’m sorry I don’t speak -native language- “ in a non-native language. So much of my life has been improved and enriched by looking blankly at people and saying: “lo siento, pero no hablo inglés” and walking away…
until you run into the rare polyglot bigot
I think its great to have a range of options when confronted with a situation like that. If someone wants to antagonize someone for gatekeeping, all power to them and if they want to just get out of the situation with the least amount of trouble, then the same.
Being able to respond to situations in multiple ways instead of just one gives people real autonomy and can feel really empowering.
You’re not wrong, in general - but if the type of men mentioned in the post exist i.e. grown adults who are prepared to confront young women / girls specifically about their musical choices - I wouldn’t recommend antagonising them. An idiot is indeed an idiot but a male idiot with his feelings hurt by “a mere female” can become so much worse that I couldn’t, in all consciousness, recommend engaging with them in this very specific scenario.
"Nombre cinco de sus canciones."
I just like seeing kids have a connection to my generation. When I pick up my kid from school I see Tupac and Biggie and Nirvana and Sublime shirts and it feels nice. Even if they don't realize I'm literally playing one of their songs through my open window.
(Not a Pac or Biggie song, though. Not in car line at least.)
@Semi@kbin.social yeah I love seeing GenZ in 90s clothes and band shirts.
Played the Rebel Rebel video to a Gen Z kid one and they ran out of the room and came back dressed as like Bowie as they could. Gave me warm fuzzies.
It could be a great segue into current music, too!
One of the best things about being a middle aged old fuck is not only being able to give those five names plus a dozen others is that I'm no longer enough of an idiot to care if someone is wearing a band as fashion instead of fandom.
Mind you, when it's a band I'm really into, I'm disappointed when it's fashion only, but at least it's a chance to have a good convo about a band. But the fact you don't open up with the bullshit "name five songs" goes a long way. You can just start out not being a douche and mention the band, say they're great/you like them too, and just be two humans doing the thing we do best: talk about nothing important.
Shit, I've made friendly acquaintances by exactly that kind of interaction. See a cool shirt or whatever, strike up a conversation, make it short and friendly without pushing at all, and people remember. The next time you see them, they smile, maybe throw horns \m/ if it's a metal band and that's part of how you brought it up, and now there's two people smiling and waving at each other instead of just grimly looking down and ignoring the world.
Fuck, my favorite cashier at the grocery store was like that. Threw horns, dude looked confused, I explained that the band on his shirt was a metal (ish, depending on how you count Danzig lol) band. He didn't know it was a band shirt, it's just the skull logo with no text.
Now he knows me by name and waves me over to his line when he sees me so we can chat a bit while business happens. Turns out, he likes a couple of the songs on the cd I made for him, so now he is a fan of sorts. Cool fucking kid.
Which is a long winded way of saying to do the golden rule thing and don't be a douche about music.
I always thought Danzig was pretty much baseline metal in the 90s. His other band was (is? I don't keep up) a few subgenres of punk.
But truthfully I don't try to keep up with how they draw genre lines. I like what I like, and Danzig makes music I like.
I have nothing useful to add to anything you've said and agree with your message.
That's me too. Danzig is metal by nature, even if every album he ever made wasn't, and I prefer not to gatekeep genres unless it's absurd.
Rock on, my homie :)
That's a good tune. One of the first I learned when I figured out power chords on the guitar.
"maybe throw horns \m/ "
Man, I love devil horns, it's a great non verbal communicator. I remember seeing someone wearing a t-shirt of one of my favourite bands at an semi fancy event once. I wasn't able to go over and talk to them, so I excitedly waved, pointed at my own t-shirt (which was plain), and then threw devil horns. They understood what I was saying and in that moment, a friendship was formed, although unfortunately we never got the chance to actually talk.
I just love the fact that I was dressed quite unlike I usually do, so didn't have many alt aspects of my appearance, but this one neat hand gesture was sufficient to establish rapport between me and someone cool.
It's kinda crazy how something that simple can unite people. Metal is membership in a worldwide community, with that nigh universal symbol Apple able to bridge languages and culture in a way that very little else does.
It's beautiful
I think I know like 3 women to be fair
Point still stands 😂
Whats your five favorite Tom Cardy songs!?
Would it be so hard to not shame other people for liking a band but maybe not knowing their entire discography, regardless of your or their (perceived) gender?
I'm not sure I know 5 people I trust outside of family members.
Yeah, having sponsored women gamers in the gaming community, but am otherwise a recluse, I know three women who aren't family. Though family also includes wife and stepdaughters.
I strive to be trustworthy, though it's risky to leave fresh baked goods near me unattended for very long. (There have been incidents.) But even when I'm on good terms with wifey friends, I can't say they trust me.
I only trust one person and no one on my family.
Well fuck. I can only name 3 non family women I trust. Then again I can only name one man that I trust and that's including family. Guess I'm old and jaded.
I imagine this is pretty normal for most men older than college age.
Yes, but most men wouldn't ask that question.
... Laura Palmer
Wait a second!
She’s dead!
Wrapped in plastic!
Another fun one would be to put on a furrowed, thoughful brow and slowly count with your fingers, "Go..." " Fuck..." "Yourself..." And either shooing then with your hand or turn away without awaiting a response.
I'm disappointed that this still exists, but sexism certainly still does so maybe I shouldn't be. I just took a class today on high conflict personalities; now I'm not sure how great this response would be but yesterday I would have thought it was great. Maybe some questions just don't need a response. I feel mixed.
It means the guy is a douchebag.
I have a bad habit of quoting lyrics and expecting everyone to know what I'm talking about.
It's a sea of blank faces.
Also having been trained in design, I think it's appropriate to wear well-designed logos or shirts, even if the product advertised is shoddy.
Does this still happen? The last time this happened to me I think I was about 9 and they couldn't have been much older. I think I was wearing a 311 shirt. And that was in like 1993 when 'poser' was just about the meanest thing you could call someone.
Mine are hand me downs from my older brother 🤷 also they're comfy shirts with good designs
Fair enough, though I would probably give you a light ribbing lol. If I see someone wearing a shirt for a band I love, I am definitely going to ask their favorite album because I actually want to know. I see them as conversation starters and it's really exciting to me when I think I've found someone I have something in common with. It's really hard to find people I relate to and it's such a letdown when I realize I was wrong.
That makes sense, I think it's how you ask that counts. Sounds like you just wanna make friends and chat with folks :)
My fav is a Nirvana shirt my brother passed down to me. I don't know much of their music but there was a really good video essay I enjoyed on how Polly uses the perspective of someone committing a heinous act to get you to better empathize with the victim, so I'm a big fan of Polly now, its a cool piece of art. (Content warning, the song is about sexual abuse)
Pretty much my only other exposure to Nirvana is from listening to Weird Al's parody of smells like teen spirit and then going and comparing it to the original 😅 but the shirt is comfy and oversized, and the fabric is well worn and soft with a cool design :)
This is fun. Ok so my daughters, wife, two coworkers, and about 4 friends off the top of my head. Cool, what did I win?
My mum,
my grandma (dad's side)
My granny (mum's side)
my auntie on my mum's side,
my aunties twin (also my auntie on my mum's side)
my auntie (on my dad's side)
my other auntie (on my dad's side),
my 3rd auntie (also on my dad's side)
Wait that's eight women who trust me. Still counts.
thanks for using Leebra!
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Decades of wearing band t-shirts and not even once that happened to me (even at a concert). Men don't ask that kind of questions to each other, which means it's only used to antagonise women.
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