Florida introduces anti-chemtrail bill

2 years ago by Viking_Hippie to c/nottheonion

The language of the bill appears to refer to the chemtrails conspiracy theory that claims the government is chemically modifying the weather.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/22744169

Florida State Senator Ileana Garcia has introduced legislation to prohibit "weather modification" activities in the state.

absGeekNZ 97 points 2 years ago

So no more releasing CO2 or CH4 (chemicals) into the atmosphere then?

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Viking_Hippie 74 points 2 years ago

I wish! They worded it such that the burning of fossil fuels and other things leading to the eradication of humanity through climate change are exempt 😮‍💨

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absGeekNZ 39 points 2 years ago

But we know for sure that these chemicals are modifying the weather!

I guess, crazy people just need to shout at clouds sometimes.

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TrickDacy 6 points 2 years ago

Everyone knows it only counts if it takes 2 hours to modify the weather. Anything over that is simply God's will

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Tar_alcaran 64 points 2 years ago

I feel SO sorry for the few sane rational people in Florida some times.

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sndmn 58 points 2 years ago

Both of them?

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thisisbutaname 44 points 2 years ago

No, fuck Dave

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AtariDump 9 points 2 years ago

Is there enough time‽

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rikudou 2 points 2 years ago

There's always time to fuck Dave.

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TheRealKuni 5 points 2 years ago

Dave Barry? But he’s hilarious!

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billwashere 6 points 2 years ago

Come on now… there are tens of them.

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SocialMediaRefugee 58 points 2 years ago

The same people who think humans can't alter the climate also claim that the government is controlling the weather.

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waggz 49 points 2 years ago

The airlines should immediately halt service to the entire state if this goes in to effect. Why waste the time and money defending yourself against these conspiracies.

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FiskFisk33 13 points 2 years ago

the injection, release, or dispersion, by any means, of a chemical, a chemical compound, a substance, or an apparatus into the atmosphere within the borders of this state for the express purpose of affecting the temperature, the weather, or the intensity of sunlight is prohibited.

it doesn't affect them.

It's stupid as fuck but is slightly saved by being worded as to be utterly and completely toothless.

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badbytes 46 points 2 years ago

Prohibit "weather modification".

So are they banning Sharpies?

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stoly 1 point 2 years ago

Worse: Weather modification, though possible, just doesn't really work. People gave up on that back in the day.

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Birch 3 points 2 years ago

Cloud seeding certainly does work and is used in many places to promote rainfall or redirect hail or rainfall to protect crops.

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geissi 2 points 2 years ago

Cloud seeding certainly does work

Does it?
Last I heard, the effectiveness is rather disputed.

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cley_faye 2 points 2 years ago path: 0 13793588 13795124 13804075 13805712, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
Jumi 37 points 2 years ago

And again I'm grateful that I'm not from the US. I know dumb people are everywhere but you clearly have loudest.

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hperrin 31 points 2 years ago

So, a plane that dumps water onto a fire is dispersing a chemical (water) with the express purpose of controlling the temperature. So firefighting planes would be illegal under this bill.

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Bahnd 19 points 2 years ago

Sure is a good thing that florida doesn't have forest fires... RIGHT?

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Raiderkev 6 points 2 years ago

Well yeah, they rake their forests

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Maalus 31 points 2 years ago

"Fun" fact, "chemtrails" were used in the Soviet Union in 86' right after the Chernobyl disaster to stop a radioactive cloud going to Moscow. They dumped a shitload of dry ice to make it rain. It rained over small villages which caused people there to get radiation sickness.

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ivanafterall 9 points 2 years ago

Fun "fact," this was the inspiration for Prince's Purple Rain.

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Birch 2 points 2 years ago

That's the most "fun" fact I heard in a long time

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hellfire103 27 points 2 years ago

Patrick Stewart as Captain Picard in Star Trek, facepalming

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Skanky 25 points 2 years ago

Does this affect Jewish space lasers at all? Asking for a friend

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Birch 3 points 2 years ago

Yes, but not other faiths' space lasers, I heard the rastafarian space laser is totally dope

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bstix 24 points 2 years ago

I feel sorry for all the entrepreneurs and employees in the chemtrail industry.

Imagine that you're flying a chemtrailer and then a wild $10000 fee appears out of nowhere, and there's a shark. Are you going to choose the shark? Nobody would. I guess a fine of $1000 is just the cost of doing chemtrail business now.

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SocialMediaRefugee 8 points 2 years ago

"I'm trying to make gay frogs."

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sundrei 3 points 2 years ago

It worked!

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Viking_Hippie 7 points 2 years ago

I don't know what chems you've been huffing, but they seem fun, so please share some 😄

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thisbenzingring 7 points 2 years ago

Puff Puff Pass!

I'm after you

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SplashJackson 3 points 2 years ago

"Pass the dutchie on the left hand side" isn't just a Tim Hortons slogan

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WastingCommentSpace 5 points 2 years ago
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SocialMediaRefugee 2 points 2 years ago

Imagine every commercial jet that leaves a contrail now having to go to court.

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bstix 5 points 2 years ago

"911, what is your emergency?"

"THERE IS A PLANE IN THE SKY SPREADING CHEMICALS OVER MY HOUSE"

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futatorius 2 points 2 years ago
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Ekybio 21 points 2 years ago

And here am I remebering the last hurricane devastating Florida, thinking: "You probably need some weather manipulation more then others..."

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TrickDacy 2 points 2 years ago

Then is not than

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hperrin 1 point 2 years ago

Neither is it thin.

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AugustWest 17 points 2 years ago

The bill was filed on November 20 by Garcia, a Republican

Was anyone really unsure of her party affiliation by this point in the article?

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snekerpimp 16 points 2 years ago

So shut down all coal and gas power plants.

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pyre 15 points 2 years ago

wow I didn't expect this to pass before the anti-Sasquatch legislation did but here we are

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SocialMediaRefugee 12 points 2 years ago

People can't afford home insurance, seniors are being driven from their condos but let's focus on a law addressing conspiracy theories. Next up, a law protecting big foot.

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TachyonTele 11 points 2 years ago

Nothing else to do at work but this. Must be nice.

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Objection 10 points 2 years ago

These bills are always branded as being "anti-chemtrail," because it gets more clicks but they are banning a real thing that actually exists. The idea of chemically altering the atmosphere to address global warming is something that scientists have seriously considered and experimented with, but the general consensus is that while the concept is possible, the risks outweigh the benefits. On the other hand, there are certain irresponsible groups of techbros like Make Sunsets which have taken it into their own hands and have been releasing a bunch of sulfur into the stratosphere, to widespread criticism from actual scientists, while they try to present themselves as an environmentalist charity.

So there is a real thing that they're targeting, but also, it's not going to do anything since the restrictions only apply within a given jurisdiction. At most, it might prevent certain universities and such from conducting tests (which isn't an inherently bad thing given the dangers).

What it comes down to is basically the same formula as the whole "eating bugs" and "15 minute cities" things. Somebody gets paid to come up with a solution to climate change that doesn't involve interfering with capitalism in any way, they come up with some out of the box idea that might help a little - then reactionaries latch onto that, because as they all "know," climate change isn't real, so whatever weird idea anyone comes up with must be the real reason why the global elites are spreading the myth.

Of course, conservatives probably aren't concerned about this concept for the same reasons scientists are, and I'm sure there's conspiracy theories out there that do go the whole chemtrail route with it, but hey. They kinda sorta accidentally have a little bit of a point on this one.

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XeroxCool 2 points 2 years ago

Yeah, there's that little legitimate concern that gets washed into the conspiracy theory. It's gotta be intentional. Proponents of weather alteration bans can find lengthy descriptions of TINY weather modification operations to fuel the idea that chemtrails are real, opponents roll their eyes because obviously chemtrails aren't real and brush off the idea that a part might be true, so they don't even engage with the proponents.

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x00z 8 points 2 years ago

Does this prohibit people from shooting at the clouds to scare them away?

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skuzz 6 points 2 years ago
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ouRKaoS 3 points 2 years ago

Nope, it says "express purpose" meaning that my doomsday machine is legal because it's purpose is to... Uhh... Make snow cones! The earthquakes and volcanoes are just a side effect.

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Madison420 1 point 2 years ago

But complaints will take up shitloads of time and money to investigate and find nothing but enlarging the government and calling it reduction is sort of the repub playbook.

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LovableSidekick 5 points 2 years ago

Wait till the Samsquantch hears about this

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Roflmasterbigpimp 5 points 2 years ago

wat.

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SocialMediaRefugee 3 points 2 years ago

Hope it passes so everyone flying a jet plane over Florida that leaves a contrail or agricultural spraying has to go to court to get the fine dismissed.

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hperrin 2 points 2 years ago

No more planes into or out of Florida doesn't sound like the worst outcome to me.

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hperrin 3 points 2 years ago

I mean, that's fine. No one is doing that anyway, so it won't affect anything. It's like banning post-birth abortion.

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Soleos 1 point 2 years ago

Several states use cloud seeding to deal with drought among other things. It's not used in Florida currently, but it might be a useful tool to deal with the effects of climate change in the future.

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zueski 2 points 2 years ago

This has more implications than I think most realize. This would also prevent climate engineering or hurricane avoidance efforts. I wouldn’t want just anybody to try these kinds of things without a lot of effort to understand the consequences and public debate, but this seems pretty short sighted.

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stoly 3 points 2 years ago

I thought we were using nuclear weapons for that.

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