Chef's Kiss Had The Crushing Blow Been A Lefty...

8 months ago by slothrop to c/microblogmemes

MBech 159 points 8 months ago

How did this guy get this famous by simply being a tool? Everything about him just screams "I am such an unbelievable tool".

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Tempus_Fugit 175 points 8 months ago

He embodies the society that props him up.

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bigfondue 60 points 8 months ago
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artifex 16 points 8 months ago

#BaudrillardWasRight

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Rooty 2 points 8 months ago

Guy Debord mentioned, wooo!!

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ozymandias 31 points 8 months ago

he was probably born rich and put a lot of money into advertising

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diabetic_porcupine 1 point 8 months ago

The boring answer

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Diplomjodler3 20 points 8 months ago

Idiocracy.

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bcgm3 14 points 8 months ago

For a good chunk of history, kings and lords and the other wealthy folk who could afford lavish luxuries such as entertainment would hire a "fool."

Now, every schlub and his granny has an always-on computer camera telephone TV in their pocket with access to all entertainment ever recorded anywhere. By and large, the fool is still a pretty popular choice.

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LuxSpark 11 points 8 months ago

Tools...so hot right now

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kikutwo 9 points 8 months ago

I call it the "Dumbing Down of America"

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Tippy 116 points 8 months ago

One racist fake fighter wears the costume of another racist fake fighter thinking he's a champion and promptly gets taught that exhibition matches aren't shit, and that your opponent hits a lot harder when they train and fight to win, rather than for sponsorships and youtube clout.

Hope this chud finally realizes he isn't a boxer now that he took his first real punch and fucks off.

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ryper 48 points 8 months ago

If he fucks off from boxing he'll probably try to join his brother in WWE, where all the fights are fake.

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wjrii 19 points 8 months ago

I mean, other than being racist shitbags, fine, I guess? Wresting isn't really my thing, but I can respect it as a kind of cooperative dance and storytelling exercise. Still, being a big guy with a personal trainer and a built-in or built-up audience is sort of what pro wrestling is for.

If he can't get the choreography down, though, he won't last long there either. It's not a sport, but it is a challenging physical activity that a lot of the performers take seriously, including making sure they don't hurt each other because of any lack of skill.

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yeather 3 points 8 months ago

They might throw him into a storyline or two and into a tag team match. Honestly I am suprised he hasn’t been in a match with his brother yet.

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rooroo -4 points 8 months ago

I actually enjoy watching his brother in MMA. I don’t like him, still think he’s an asshole, but he’s embracing being a heel so much that it’s highly enjoyable to watch.

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Sterile_Technique 14 points 8 months ago
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ICastFist 5 points 8 months ago

Some 200 unfractured bones that should be ground to dust

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rc__buggy 7 points 8 months ago

That fight was embarrassing.

I was surprised that Baumgardner/Beaudoin was as competitive as it was. I expected Baumgardner to knock her out about halfway.

The whole card seemed lopsided. Well, except Silva's fight. That was pretty cool to see a 50yo man perform like that though.

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YiddishMcSquidish 3 points 8 months ago

He's already poisoned the sport.

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Skua 69 points 8 months ago

You ever been hit so hard you turn into Eustace Bagge?

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wjrii 68 points 8 months ago

I was poking around some boxing posts on the other link-aggregator site, and a lot of folks were noting that the ring seemed to be larger than usual, allowing Paul to last longer simply by running away like a Monty Python knight, and that his opponent was likely a bit past his prime and out of practice, and finally that the ref was letting Paul do some "anti-boxing" hijinks that they normally stop sooner. They were also speculating that Netflix was only willing to pay up if Paul fought a legitimate boxer, though, and everything up until now had been somewhere between pro-wrestling fixed and watching the top-pyramid amateurs at your local pay-to-play indoor soccer/football park.

All that, and the asshat still ends up as a hilarious meme. Small win, but gotta take 'em when they come.

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rooroo 42 points 8 months ago

All of this is true. The ring was 22ft instead of the normal 20 iirc (so in my sane measurements conversion about a 60cm difference per side) and Paul’s antics were annoying af, albeit fun to watch in a cringe kind of way.

You should add two to the list of his former opponents: Younger brother of a top tier boxer who never seems to want to be there (against whom he lost) and former top tier 30 years past his prime.

If it’s true that Netflix forced him into AJ it’s hilarious though, as I understand he’s their only boxer with any following and they just embarrassed him.

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thelivefive 12 points 8 months ago

I wonder if that's true. I was confused about why Paul would've taken the fight. Joshua is a bit past his prime but he's not washed up. And has had a pretty good career. He's really a tremendously skilled fighter and I doubt Paul, as egotistical as he might be, thought he could win.

I did see another commenter speculating that Paul took the fight knowing he would lose, but thinking with a larger ring and his skills at running, he could survive until the end and that he would legitimize himself as a real professional boxer. Made sense to me. But interesting if Netflix forced him.

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LiveLM 19 points 8 months ago

lol even if he went in expecting to lose I think the broken jaw night have come as a surprise

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thelivefive 8 points 8 months ago

Oh 100%. He for sure was not expecting what happened. Probably thought he could get to decision. Either way he was overestimating himself to even get in that ring.

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BananaIsABerry 60 points 8 months ago

Boxer does what everyone dreams: flattens the face of a crypto scammer

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U7826391786239 42 points 8 months ago
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PhobosAnomaly 32 points 8 months ago

When this NPC blinks, throw a strong punch to get an instant knockdown.

( context )

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ICastFist 2 points 8 months ago

I want to see from the angle of that closer up camera man

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Akagigahara 24 points 8 months ago

That's Glass Joe. But his name is a reference to glass jaw, which refers to the jaw being a weakpoint that can knock out boxers fairly quickly

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jaybone 10 points 8 months ago

Glass Paul is a pretty good play on Glass Jaw. The A sound in the middle makes it a near pun.

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hedge_lord 15 points 8 months ago

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Gork 14 points 8 months ago
git: 'gud' is not a git command. See 'git --help' 
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YiddishMcSquidish 3 points 8 months ago

sudo get-wrecked-poser

:: this is coming from an actual boxer::

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Sterile_Technique 1 point 8 months ago
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Avicenna 37 points 8 months ago

I hope it never heals completely and causes life long problems and pain.

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IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds 21 points 8 months ago

also, a lisp/speech impediment that will make him self conscious and never speak in public again

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RestrictedAccount 28 points 8 months ago

ITT

Me: expecting the anti schadenfreude buzz kills to show up

Actually: People having a good time hating on racists

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explodicle 17 points 8 months ago

I mean, it's literally his job to get punched in the face. We're allowed to be happy when he does it.

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ICastFist 11 points 8 months ago

Taking punches to the face is probably the only honest money he's ever earned in his life

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GeneralEmergency 28 points 8 months ago

He worked himself into a shoot

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Nednarb44 57 points 8 months ago

Did he have a stroke typing that or am I out of the loop with wrestling lingo and it makes sense to people?

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Blackmist 20 points 8 months ago

Sounds like he's already qualified for a run at the White House.

McDonnell/Hogan 2028!

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linkinkampf19 18 points 8 months ago

Weekend at Bernie's style? Cuz he dead.

Good riddance.

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Blackmist 8 points 8 months ago

Hopefully they both will be by then. And Donnie.

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P00ptart 5 points 8 months ago

At this point t, literally everyone is qualified.

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TheLowestStone 7 points 8 months ago

I think I had a stroke trying to read it.

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GeneralEmergency 4 points 8 months ago

Little of column A and little of column B.

The phrase is "Don't work yourself into a shoot"

"Work" is part of the show. "Shoot" is not part of the show.

It's why you might hear about "shoot fighting" in relation to MMA, especially on the Japanese side. Because MMA was born from pro wrestling.

But the term "Don't work yourself into a shoot". Basically means, don't get so wrapped up in how a story is presented that you believe the story is "legit". If your opponent is cutting a promo and calls you a bastard, he's not legitimately calling you a bastard.

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CosmicTurtle0 20 points 8 months ago

Stupid question from someone who doesn't know fuck all about this guy: why did he even enter the ring? Like why did the guy, who clearly is outmatched, even consider being matched with the other boxer?

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Killer57 26 points 8 months ago

There are controversies about his previous matches potentially/ probably being rigged.

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ChickenLadyLovesLife 22 points 8 months ago

He assumed Baron Harkonnen was going to have this guy drugged also.

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carotte 20 points 8 months ago

is he the one who vlogged himself in front of a hanged body or was that his brother

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dublet 25 points 8 months ago path: 0 21132565 21133464, hotness: undefined, score: 25, children: 0
edgemaster72 19 points 8 months ago

Jake Paul could make himself look however he wants, and that's what he chooses?!

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Rooty 13 points 8 months ago

As much as I enjoj this clown being in pain, I would recommend ignoring him since the creature only gets stronger when you pay attention to it.

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FuyuhikoDate 1 point 8 months ago

Well, I dont see people paying attention to the clown, only a black guy being celebrated for punching racists :D

Btw. I never heard of the guy before and will not look him up, knowing that a racist was pinched is all the good news I need today :)

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obinice 7 points 8 months ago

How did this chap wear that top and not realise that it was the slogan of a really scummy racist? I'm not even from that country and I know Hogan was a tosser.

Does he have zero PR team to point these things out? Is he off his rocker?

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CosmicTurtle0 35 points 8 months ago

Racist people often support other racists.

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ICastFist 5 points 8 months ago

Paul is a known scammer, so him being a racist is just more shit on top of the diarrhea that is his personality

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YiddishMcSquidish 4 points 8 months ago

It may shock you to learn it was completely intentional.

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Avicenna 1 point 8 months ago

nah that is him sucking up to the group he thinks is winning in the US right now. If this was five years ago he probably would have gone with a rainbow or sth.

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victorz 4 points 8 months ago

Look at those back muscles though, peak form. Bang, right in the kisser.

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