People who piss on the toilet seat in a men's restroom.

5 days ago by HobbitFoot to c/mildlyinfuriating

I specify men's restroom since there are alternatives to peeing which don't involve a toilet seat.

Rhynoplaz 33 points 5 days ago

I don't want to touch it either, but if you're going to stand in front of a public toilet, just lift the damn seat.

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HobbitFoot 19 points 5 days ago

And new seats even have a bump out so you can use your feet.

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Vandals_handle 24 points 5 days ago

User name checks out

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fyzzlefry 4 points 4 days ago

Its whatever, just wash your hands people.

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M137 2 points 3 days ago

The one's on doesn't are the ones who also doesn't at home and if they do they don't put it down afterwards.
Those people need to be forced to lick toilet seats until they learn some basic manners.

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_deleted_ 29 points 5 days ago

I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane 
While people behind me are going insane

I'm an asshole !

I use public toilets, and I piss on the seat 
I walk around in the Summer time, saying, "How about this heat?"

I'm an asshole !

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waz 7 points 4 days ago

Try to find the stand-up show ‘no cure for cancer’ this song is in it and the rest is insanely good,

I want a restaurant only for men, naked men all sitting round a camp fire eating meat, straight off the cow. In fact bring me the whole cow, I’ll carve off what I want and ride the rest home!

Or something like that.

That and therapy,

I’ll give you therapy, therapy is mowing the lawn and crying Edit; Found it No cure for cancer

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_deleted_ 3 points 4 days ago

lol thanks, I have the CD

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waz 4 points 4 days ago

The video starts with the song, but it’s a 1 hour stand-up show.

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Shrubbery 6 points 4 days ago path: 0 25313107 25314012, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
LavaPlanet 3 points 3 days ago

My ex used to laugh about how he would purposefully piss on public toilet seats. Absolute sociopath. I guess Dennis was giving us some screening questions.

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elvith 2 points 5 days ago

I use public toilets, and I piss on the seat
[ ... ]
I'm an asshole !

No, you're a dick. An asshole would shit on the toilet seat...

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paranoid 9 points 5 days ago

It's lyrics to a song called Asshole by Dennis Leary

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QuantumSparkles 3 points 4 days ago

I shit in the urinal as god intended

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wreckedcarzz 2 points 4 days ago

They even include a cake as a snack

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newton 1 point 4 days ago

Ty,asshole ,nice to meet you.

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EchoCranium 1 point 3 days ago

Oh, de oh de oh!

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mbp 1 point 3 days ago

I've seen this man!!!

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neuracnu 22 points 5 days ago

I think you’ve got two types of people doing this:

  • penis people who just plain can not be bothered to lift the seat. The types of folks who bumble through life haphazardly, don’t wear seat belts, let dishes pile up, put the sour cream back in the fridge without putting the lid back on, who never bother to wash their feet or legs in the shower because they think the soap that washes down their body will handle it, people who drink the last of the coffee without making another pot. Selfish, but also kinda physically grody.
  • vagina people who hover. These people I do not understand.
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HobbitFoot 36 points 5 days ago

People who hover hover because of people who hover.

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unknownuserunknownlocation 4 points 5 days ago

Yo dawg, I heard you like to hover.

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Andonyx 9 points 5 days ago

For a second I thought you'd come up with a new epithet for people who don't hold up their end of the social contract: penis people. I thought, "that's a new and fun way to call someone a dick." 🤔

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Andonyx 1 point 5 days ago
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yannic 14 points 4 days ago

Not mildly.

Majorly.

I had part of my digestive tract removed. I can't afford an accident at the urinal.

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Zarobi 11 points 4 days ago

It's fucking gross.

I always wipe down every seat with enough toilet paper I feel like I'm not going to directly touch any pee. It's just an ingrained habit from decades of living with people who like their toilet seats cold, moist, and yellow.

Tap for NSFW

My least favourite is when it seems like they didn't even pull back the foreskin or something, and just completely cover the entire toilet, seat, and floor, with a fine spray of urine. Lovely. I wipe down everything with like 20 squares of tp and then wash my hands before even doing my business.

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datavoid 4 points 4 days ago

Those uncut savages!

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collapse_already 10 points 3 days ago

We had this problem in a communal bathroom in a dorm I lived in. People were practically coming to blows over it. Turns out that when the toilet flushed, it would spray piss up out of the bowl onto the seat. We all thought it was someone else, but it was really every one of us inadvertently.

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OrteilGenou 4 points 3 days ago

A likely story, seat pisser. J'ACCUSE!

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pineapple 10 points 4 days ago

There is this thing called lifting up the seat. DO IT!

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kadotux 8 points 4 days ago

Just sit down to pee like an adult

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jestho 7 points 4 days ago

But there's piss everywhere :(

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kadotux 1 point 4 days ago

I tend to cover the seat with toilet paper before sitting, if the toilet seems filthy :D

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PhoenixDog 0 points 3 days ago

That's a really weird thing to do. My sensory disorder feels violated through the screen.

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Diddlydee 4 points 3 days ago

I doubt the overwhelming majority of the seat pissers are reading your comment.

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PhoenixDog 4 points 3 days ago

I've literally gone into public bathrooms with no urinals, only stalls, and the seats don't lift up. You have no choice but to aim and pray.

Except I'm not a degenerate and I'll grab some paper and wipe anywhere I missed.

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pineapple 2 points 3 days ago

Except I’m not a degenerate and I’ll grab some paper and wipe anywhere I missed.

thank you!

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titanicx 0 points 3 days ago

No choice? Sit, it's more comfy anyways. Give yourself 1 minute to relax.

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mbp 2 points 3 days ago

When I pee sitting down, I always have some more trickle out when I stand up. That can cause more mess to clean up than the alternative. Is that not a common issue? Do I, like Hank Hill, have a narrow urethra?

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DarrinBrunner 9 points 3 days ago

How about when there's that bit of filth at the back, center you know came from their ass crack?

It's even worse when you know who it is, because now it's like you have x-ray vision to their ass crack.

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RedEyeFlightControl 4 points 3 days ago

People are required to wipe down sweaty gym equipment, they should also be required to wipe down the shitter. IDK why this isn't a thing.

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InvalidName2 6 points 3 days ago

This is why I piss into the sink instead. And since I didn't have to touch any surfaces beside my own wiener, I don't even have to worry about washing my hands.

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benderbeerman 5 points 4 days ago

I work at a place with a lot of people from southeast Asia. It is not uncommon to be in a stall and look over to see the feet of someone stepping into the next stall just disappear as they approach the crapper.

I don't mind them standing on the seat to squat, but for the love of humanity, please clean up the fucken mess afterwards!

Also, our toilets flush pretty assertively and often they will splash up dirty water from the toilet bowl onto the seat and floor as the auto-flush unleashes.

The weird one is the guy who uses it as a fucken bidet... like, Bruh. Nasty.

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Kolanaki 5 points 4 days ago

I usually sit to pee; but since there's piss on the seat, I stand and end up contributing more piss to the already pissy seat. It's a vicious cycle of piss.

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SreudianFlip 10 points 4 days ago

Just lift the fuckin seat to pee then omg

Use your foot for that if you have to

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corsicanguppy 3 points 4 days ago

Just lift the fuckin seat to pee then omg

Use your foot for that if you have to

  1. wipe seat. It's fine.
  2. If you're at a seat, be seated; standing is over there.
  3. wash hands like silkwood after

Is this only trivial for gen-X?

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skeezix 1 point 3 days ago

Everything is trivial for gen X. Both the older and younger are clueless

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Kolanaki 1 point 4 days ago

Then I would have pee on my hand or foot. Gross.

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SreudianFlip 5 points 4 days ago

Wow wonder how I am able to do it without that problem then.

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village604 4 points 4 days ago

Right? This is absolutely a non issue.

I guess unless you're incapable of balancing on one foot for 3 seconds.

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southsamurai 1 point 4 days ago

Well, shoe most places, but I feel you.

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northernlights 1 point 4 days ago

I actually never understood how some guys have apparently a hard time simply aiming. I never had a problem with that in my life myself.

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baggachipz 1 point 4 days ago

Dual stream can be an issue. But when it is, I clean up my fucking piss. People are gonna miss or splatter; a decent human being should clean up after themselves. Most people are not decent human beings.

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SayJess 4 points 4 days ago

The restrooms at my workplace can get down right nasty. We get a ton of temp workers (I started out as a temp), and they are given very short breaks from the assembly line. At least 20% do not wash their hands. People carry on phone conversations and scroll TikTok in the stalls. The seats, after their breaks, are usually pretty gross. The floors around the toilets get very gross by the end of their shift.

I loathe that spironolactone makes me thirsty, and in turn makes me need to urinate somewhat often. My hovering game is on point though.

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Tollana1234567 4 points 4 days ago

or shit on the toilet seat, or the walls.

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Zomg 4 points 5 days ago

Dont look up the Yellow Pee Pee Monster.

Sorry in advance. lf I have to be aware he existed, you do too

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DrunkAnRoot 3 points 4 days ago

I avoid public bathrooms for this reason

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HubertManne 3 points 4 days ago

For using the stalls to pee sometimes the urinals are full. As to why I know my wife says im one of the few men who don't leave piss on the toilet. So apparently its common. Not talking just the seat here but the bowl when the seat is up. Like the bowl rim that is parralellel to the floor so it will just sit there and be all. ewwww.

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HobbitFoot 2 points 4 days ago

Maybe, but I'm also seeing more men going straight to the toilet stall to pee even though there are several urinals open. And even then, they should lift the seat.

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HubertManne 4 points 4 days ago

yeah thats kinda wierd. maybe they are shy although then I can't imagine what they do at a ballpark.

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theuniqueone 3 points 4 days ago

I don't care about others why should I care when I'll never have to clean or use that toilet again. /s

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ExperimentalGuy 2 points 3 days ago

This is why I piss in the back tank of the toilet, so the next person peeing never thinks it flushed.

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Psythik 1 point 3 days ago

Ah yes, a good old fashioned upper-decker.
Take a shit up there sometime if you really hate someone.

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southsamurai 2 points 4 days ago

For them what have need to cope with this and no choice about needing to sit.

A small baggie with some surface wipes and some gloves will fit in most pockets with ease. Ideal, no. But it'll get you by for a non optional visit to a public (or badly kept private) toilet

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morgan_423 1 point 3 days ago

Some people can't use a urinal. Medical issues.

That being said, they should still be cleaning up after themselves. Leaving the seat a mess for other people is horrendous.

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HobbitFoot 3 points 3 days ago

I've seen a lot of cases where people are using the toilet as a urinal. That seems to be where most of the piss is coming from.

That said, if someone can't use a urinal and needs to use a toilet, I don't know why they aren't sitting down on the toilet. I can't think of a condition which in which you can't use a urinal but you can stand and pee onto a toilet seat.

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Zeko9381 1 point 3 days ago

because sitting just to piss is gay apparently (heard that from multiple people)

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lechekaflan 1 point 3 days ago

More specific, the target practice gets more wild at a pub.

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Abyssian 1 point 4 days ago

How else do you hose the seat clean from all the explosive shit caking it before you sit down to unleash your own?

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Alexstarfire 0 points 4 days ago

How else do you mark your territory?

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