Wrong!
My father is the narcissist and my mom is emotionally stunted.
Frozengyro 6 points 21 days ago
Damn you must be messed up
CultLeader4Hire 31 points 21 days ago
In reality you parents are almost certainly also neurodivergent too
joulethief 16 points 21 days ago
My dad is, 100%. Does that mean he'll care and get a diagnosis? Hell no
shartgargle 5 points 21 days ago
My mother tries to use it as an excuse now that Ive been diagnosed.
Grail -2 points 21 days ago
NPD and autism both run in My family. I have NPD and autism and I was abused by My primary caretaker because of her neurodivergence. She had (and I wouldn't say this if I weren't tilted by the slur in the OP) "malignant untreated autism". By which I mean, she had language difficulties with My new name and pronouns, and the constant noise she needed for her sensory issues provoked My sensory issues.
It is possible for the ND community to all get along and work against neuronormaty. But it'll never happen while autistic pickmes are out here demonising NPD.
captainlezbian 2 points 20 days ago path: 0 25986903 25988240 25995139, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
shartgargle 14 points 21 days ago
Holy fuck, I've never felt like the eye of sauron was looking directly at me until now.
BeerStainedBunny 11 points 21 days ago
So no one told you life was gonna be this way
daggermoon 2 points 21 days ago
They should have. Not a day goes by where I don't curse my parents for bringing me into this lonely capitalist hellscape. A head's up would have been appreciated.
sad_detective_man 11 points 21 days ago
Has anyone out there survived this character creation diceroll?
sad_detective_man 5 points 21 days ago
That is a pretty lit stat. I guess I'd dump a few scores for that
serendepity 8 points 21 days ago
Eh. My mom and dad are really cool and pretty progressive people. But my mom has terrible anxiety and my dad has adhd. Guess who got both?
Lushed_Lungfish 6 points 21 days ago
Damn, I just thought your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberry.
late_pessimistic 6 points 21 days ago
My dad was neglectful undiagnosed autistic, my mom was emotionally volatile undiagnosed ADHD. And I am traumatized (cPTSD) AuDHD
BeardededSquidward 6 points 21 days ago
Swap around the parent rolls, a dash of a middle sister as bad as any bully, and bam you have my family "life."
joulethief 1 point 21 days ago
When and how did you find out your partner is a narcissist?
Grail -3 points 21 days ago
I understand that I was pretty sassy in the above comment, but regardless of My sass I do have to ask: Do you normally make a point of insulting people in relation to their mental disorders?
captainlezbian 2 points 20 days ago
Which five of these traits do you think are easy to handle in a spouse?
- Inflated self-esteem or a grandiose sense of self-importance or superiority
- Craving admiration
- Exploitative relationships (i.e., manipulation)
- Little to no empathy
- Identity is easily disturbed (i.e., can’t handle criticism)
- Lack of attachment and intimacy
- Feelings of depression or emptiness when not validated
- A sense of entitlement
- Can feel like others are envious of them, or may envy others
Getting symptoms under control is a necessary component of people with certain mental illnesses avoiding doing harm to those particularly close to them, especially romantic partners. The entirety of the cluster B is this way.
Now if their partner has gotten their symptoms under control but they're still mad they had them at all or that they have to keep doing the work, then I'll say you've got a point.
Grail 2 points 20 days ago
1, 2, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9.
I've been in the NPD community for plenty of time. I've been abused by people with NPD, and I've been abused by egotypicals, and I've even been abused by people with BPD. I usually date people with BPD. I can handle those 7 pretty easily. I also can and am handling 3 and 5 in one of My current partners, despite the difficulty. We've been together for nearly 5 years and we love each other very much.
But also, that diagnostic model is outdated and no longer considered correct by leading psychologists in the field. Look up the dimensional model in the DSM-5 and DSM-5-TR appendix.
Fredselfish 5 points 21 days ago
Reverse the mom and dad part and trade the thing with anxiety and you got it nailed on the head.
DudleyMason 5 points 20 days ago
To be fair, it wasn't for lack of trying that I didn't die young. I did all the drugs, but somehow I got past 27 anyway.
Emma_Gold_Man 3 points 21 days ago
Three out of four ain't bad. Oh, wait ...
AceFuzzLord 3 points 20 days ago
Pretty sure my dad is partially emotionally stunted due to being autistic and because of parents who weren't always the greatest. But that's something I'll never truly have an answer to considering he refuses to get tested for it and his insistence he wouldn't have been allowed in the military if he was autistic.
I'm 9999% positive he's the reason I have it.
SailorFuzz 3 points 21 days ago
close, but my father is dead.
daggermoon 1 point 21 days ago
Congrats!
daggermoon 2 points 21 days ago
I wouldn't say she's a narcissist. I still could die young.
isVeryLoud 2 points 18 days ago
Why does this have to be text, in a tweet, with a random background, as an image, with not even alt text?
ScoffingLizard 2 points 20 days ago
If you replace the Narcissistic mother with an insufferably negative and judgemental person, does that count?
Whats_your_reasoning 2 points 20 days ago
I don’t appreciate being called out like this. Especially that last line. I’ve been expecting to die soon for nearly 30 years now and for some reason I’m still chugging along. Wtf.
ScoffingLizard 2 points 20 days ago
This does not bode well for me. My prognosis is a heart attack before 50.
I already know it deep down though. I'm going to live until I'm 970 years old, and I'm going to be so pissed that there will be a thundercloud of misery following me around. Flowers will die as I walk past, birds will fly away, and children will dare each other to peep through my fence. When the front door opens and they hear all the bones dangling from my cane, and they'll run screaming in terror.
boobookittyfrick 2 points 20 days ago
Holy shit
Greystripeycat 2 points 20 days ago
Fuuuuuuuuuck. I feel bad for all of us. We don't deserve this. We can be good, kind, and loving. Also as weird and wonderful as we want.
Olgratin_Magmatoe 2 points 21 days ago
I'm in this picture and I don't like it
autonomous 1 point 20 days ago
Nope, doesn't match me.
kat_angstrom 1 point 20 days ago
Flip the genders, then add a religious cult and it's me. Except I was told the end of the world would arrive before I turned 18, so my entire childhood was a forced quest for being as "holy" as possible to make sure I would be allowed in heaven.
That shit took years to get past
some_guy 1 point 21 days ago
Re: die young. I was ~25 when I confronted the possibility of old age for the first time. I'd lived such a reckless life that I considered it impossible before reforming (completely by accident / without choosing a different path).
HubertManne 1 point 17 days ago
Not me. My father had mental problems that got treatment and my mom had other ones that fly more under the radar. On hindsite I think I had a particular thing but who knows. Kinda sounds like my wife though.
Duke_Nukem_1990 1 point 20 days ago
Haha!! Wrooong!!! Cause the roles of my parents are actually switched...
Gaspar 1 point 20 days ago
My father was both, so my mom turned out ok I think. And it's not that I didn't expect to still be alive, so much as I hadn't really fully conceptualized life in my 30s and 40s? It was as foreign a concept to me as what happens in a story after the "happily ever after" and the credits roll. What do you mean, what happens next? Story's over. And I have even less of an idea now of what to do with myself than I did then, I just know that a plucky attitude and a "well, I'll figure it out somehow" didn't do the trick.
Shellofbiomatter 1 point 20 days ago
No need to sum up my childhood.
I even planned on dying at 18. Just turns out that all the drug prevention lectures were wrong and no one just hands you drugs. This shit is expensive.
Grail 0 points 21 days ago
Why is the autism community demonising people with NPD? Can't the neurodivergent community stand together against ableism?
To be honest, autistic people who hate narcissitic people give Me the same vibe as gay people who hate trans people. It's putting other people within the community down as if they're our oppressors. Hey, maybe a neuronormative society is the cause of our suffering, and demonising egodivergence is just enforcing a bigoted worldview that will come back to hurt us.
inb4 Narcissus
Narcisssus was an aroace 16 year old who got put to death by the gods because he snapped back at a sexual harasser who abused him. A lot of people try to dodge accountability for what they say about NPD by saying they were talking about Greek mythology. But TBH that's just as offensive.
sad_detective_man 5 points 21 days ago
Many of us have had turbulent relationships with parents or siblings. Combine that with the cloud of pop-psy disinfo surrounding personality disorders it's bound to happen.
I personally don't know how to call it out without making people feel like I'm blaming them for something real they suffered at the hands of a disregulated person, or an average abuser who they perceive to be disregulated. Coming at the issue from that side just seems like it will only spread the stigma.
Grail 1 point 21 days ago
One thing I did to try and help was invent the word "theseist", based on the Greek Theseus, who abandoned his GF on an island and kidnapped 12 year old Helen of Troy to marry her, because he thought it would bring him glory. Theseus deserves the hate, and there's no link to any mental disorders or other stigmas. We can give people new, better words to replace the bad ones.
But I was honestly so tilted by this meme, because I expect better from the community. We should be better than this, I was shocked and betrayed and angry. So My first instinct was not to give people better words, it was to react.
But yeah I don't have the luxury of not engaging with people who use these tropes. I have NPD and I'm ace, so I get hit with both of the stigmas of this word. It triggers Me in the moment, and it contributes to a societal culture that has abused Me time after time. It's easy to DARVO a n*rcissist.
sad_detective_man 2 points 21 days ago
Poorly worded memes aside this really is one of the places on fediverse where you have no enemies. Lady Butterfly is pretty chill and empathetic when she's actually running the account manually so I think she'd get it. I've seen you go to bat for other stigmatized people who to my knowledge you didn't have an intersection in common with so I think you deserve that too.
As for everyone's awareness of personality disorders, it's all a work in progress right? Gotta meet people where they're at. And I hope where you're at feels better soon.
Grail 2 points 21 days ago
Yeah, Lady Butterfly is great every other time I've seen her, so I was really surprised. Did you say she's automated her account?
Thanks for the kind words. Unfortunately, they're not all true, as this community does have some people who are not allies. I've just received a private message from the mod of the community claiming that My reports against the ableist slur are false. I'm told I'll be banned if I do it again. And I've also received... this hate speech
I really want to report the hate speech, but I've been clearly warned that I'll be banned if do, so I don't think I can. I don't feel safe in this community right now at all.
Grail -3 points 21 days ago
Narcissus was a 16 year old boy who just wanted to be a hunter. Much like the goddess Artemis, he wanted to live in the forest and eschew all romantic and sexual connections.
He may have preferred isolation because he was famous across all of the Hellenic world for his great beauty. And no matter how many people asked this teenage boy for his hand in marriage or to have intimate relations, he refused.
There was one man, Ameinias, who would propose marriage to Narcissus again and again. He wouldn't take no for an answer. One day, narcissus got completely fed up with it, and gave Ameinias a sword. He told the sexual harasser to go kill himself.
Ameinias did as he was told, and stabbed himself in the heart with the sword. But before he died, he prayed to Nemesis, "Though he should love, let him not have what he loves!" Nemesis agreed.
Narcissus loved nobody, at least not romantically or erotically. But after Nemesis agreed to Ameinias' prayer, he noticed his reflection in a pond. Recognising himself for the first time in the way other people saw him, he became infatuated. Narcissus had neither food nor drink for the rest of his life. He simply sat and stared at himself until he died.
When he died, the nymphs of the forest, who loved him, grew flowers around his body. Narcissus flowers.
Nemesis is the goddess of punishment for hubris. She punishes mortals who think they're better than the gods. Why would she punish Narcissus?
My theory is: The ancient Greeks (and their gods) were so aphobic, they thought if someone didn't want to have sex, it's because they think they're better than everyone else.
I recognise that aphobic Greeks and aphobic westerners have lied to you about this myth. But Narcissus is our history, as asexuals. This is what people thought of us for 2,000 years. And it needs to change.
Taleya 5 points 21 days ago
First thing to remember: this is a myth
Second thing to remember: you are trying to play chicken with a retelling of an already ancient myth by Ovid (who isn't fucking greek) who uses it as a way to explore concepts of obsession and - you guessed it! - narcissistic self involvement.
Literally, the original story makes no mention of echo, but a whole lot about the dude being a little bastard who was so self involved the only thing he could love was himself. Ovid added some things, but narcissus was never a woobie aroace, that shit is internet headcanon. Headcanons are fun, but don't pretend this is scholarly fact.
Grail -3 points 21 days ago
Actually, all the stuff about Ameinias is from Conon's Narrations, a Greek text from between 63 BC and 14 CE.
I'm gonna have to press X to doubt on you having read the "original story", since it was an oral tradition that later got transcribed to text. I've cited both Ovid and Conon. Would you like to cite a specific scholar, or would you rather claim you personally went back in time 2,000+ years to talk to the original oral storytellers?
EDIT: Conon also wrote:
And from that the Thespians honor and reverence Eros especially, and learned to sacrifice to him both in the common rituals and privately.
According to this ancient greek scholar, we need to have sex even if we don't want to, out of deference to the gods. Cause they're aphobes. And you're making excuses for them.
Grail -1 points 21 days ago
I see you're commenting from lemmy.blahaj.zone. You realise conservatives say the exact same thing about you and Me because we're trans, as you're saying about Me because I have NPD?
Hatred is a double edged sword and if you use it on people in the community, you'll cut your own nose off.
femtek 5 points 21 days ago
I said who hurt children, if you are able to control yourself and not hurt others with your npd then everything is fine but if you show a history of abuse then you wouldn't be welcome in my circle. I even have empathy for people with issues they have to combat themselves to not hurt others. Pedos, npd, suicidal people.
autism
@lemmy.world
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This is a community for people with Autism to be themselves. All neurotypes are welcome.
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Encouraged
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autism
@lemmy.world
10483
2322
3618
This is a community for people with Autism to be themselves. All neurotypes are welcome.
Community: ::: spoiler Values
- Acceptance
- Openness
- Understanding
- Equality
- Reciprocity
- Mutuality
- Love :::
Rules
- No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments e.g: racism, sexism, religious hatred, homophobia, gatekeeping, trolling.
- Posts do not need be related to autism, off-topic discussions are allowed. This is a safe space where people with autism can feel comfortable discussing whatever they feel like discussing, as long as it does not violate the standing rules.
- Do not request donations.
- Be respectful in discussions.
- Do not post misinformation.
- Mark NSFW content accordingly.
- Do not promote Autism Speaks.
- General Lemmy World rules.
- No bots. Humans only.
Encouraged
- Open acceptance of all autism levels as a respectable neurotype.
- Funny memes.
- Respectful venting.
- Describe posts of pictures/memes using text in the body for our visually impaired users.
- Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
- Questions regarding autism.
- Questions on confusing situations.
- Seeking and sharing support.
- Engagement in our community's values.
- Expressing a difference of opinion without directly insulting another user.
- Please report questionable posts and let the mods deal with it.
.
Helpful Resources
- Are you seeking education, support groups, and more? Take a look at our list of helpful resources.
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Now you're stuck in a life you didn't expect to see so it's kinda awkward because you weren't supposed to be here.
Feels like those videogames in which you fall off the map or glitch in a way that lets you get to a part where you shouldn't be and everything is weird because the game itself isn't prepared for what's happening.
Also yeah, mother is a narcissist, father is emotionally stunted and both were heavy drinkers and smokers when I was a kid. Yay! I relate!
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