Thanks. Also her name is mojo.

Hey, wanna marry me and my wife?

My wife and I are looking for cats

I do alright, it’s crazy just like most things seeing people and friends you grew up with slowly becoming brainwashed and you having to distance yourself from them. Like most conservative people Covid broke and still is breaking a lot of people’s minds here.

Yea unfortunately, my job pays really good and has good benefits. And I’m born and raised here with all my family living here or within a few hours drive.

Command 'cat' not found

The fuck kinda system you running

That gives me anxiety on a few levels.

You can't put that on the women. Men have got to get their shit together. Just show a bit of empathy, bro! It's not that hard, humans are literally wired for it. It's just that capitalism is reinforcing humankind's worst impulses.

I suspect that women aren’t dating conservative men

Well, there are plenty of conservative women too, so that can't tell the whole story, can it?

Looks like conservative men and liberal women are in similar boats, statistically:

In broad terms, there are only 0.6 single liberal young men for each single liberal young woman; likewise, only 0.5 single conservative young women exist for every conservative young man. Statistically, in other words, about half of these ideologically minded young singles face the prospect of failing to find a partner who shares their politics.

This implies the liberal men are dating the conservative women, lol.

a certain number of those horrible men would turn a corner and start to act like a human

over here in Real World Land, what will happen is those women will get abused, physically and sexually

these men have a violent hatred for women. they don’t need a girlfriend, they need therapy and, failing that, a life of imprisonment far from the people they’re a danger to

BUT, exceptions also occur, woman do date horrible men, if they are horrible themselves or they make some poor choices themselves. thats why incels have no excuse there something for everyone. they are just looking in the wrong place, looking for woman in areas that are more liberal of course they will have more resistance, or they are looking for woman that are only interested income/attractiveness maybes a little harder poc-wise.

but because they would personally rather not date a horrible person.

That's not what women consider when choosing dates. Even the nicest (as a person) women.

They consider safety, reliability, how fun or not the person is, everything, but that everything is more practical than moral. Especially since evaluating someone by moral criteria from the first glance is an almost impossible task. Since women are in bigger danger from making mistakes, they usually know that.

Even when they share stupid posts from dating apps or whatever, the focus is on stupidity and awkwardness, not on someone being a douche, because honestly sex is not like other spheres of life and a woman being like "sorry, below 2 meter tall is not for me, and also I like guys with blue eyes and a car" is pretty normal, which, well, in other circumstances is being a douche.

And the proportion of good and bad people among men and women is the same, a reminder in case someone forgot this, ahem.

I don't think this has much to do with the conservative\liberal category at all.

More like vulnerable\healthy, or insecure\content. The vulnerable and insecure parts of population in our time and situation might be more likely to feel conservative, but in essence this is not important.

I mean, OK, somewhere around 50s there were plenty of stats how women actually strongly prefer conservative men, while in average more men were liberal than conservative. Today this seems to be reverted.

The ideologies are secondary, just if a man talks too much of their ideology to a potential date, they need some therapy first, and if a man can't manage some tact about their ideology when that correlates with misogyny, they are not trying hard enough to get that date, and if both are wrong but the other side wants to kill them with fire for their mind having been touched with that impure abomination of thought, then probably the other side needs some therapy. And - I know it's hard to consider, but maybe, - some people are just not meant for each other, there's that.

Lonely men develop more extremist views

Ah yes, the lonely man® with the agency of a fucking houseplant.

Here I am going to be the distasteful contrarian progressive, but it's because I'm desperately hoping people see that the difference isn't dating.

Because yes, you are right, as a single progressive man, dating is no walk in the park. Plenty of good reasons for this on the side of women.

Are you lonely as termed by the actual problem of male loneliness? Do you have at least a couple of friends who you can get to lunch with? Do you have a brother, sister, cousin, parents, etc. nearby? Do you have someone to help you if you get sick? Do you have an active social group you feel included in?

If the answer to them is no, then yes, definitely you are in the loneliness group. Sure, dating can help with it - but what happens if/when you break up: you don't have the support there.

I'm really worried about how people are continuing to separate and blame things that aren't the root of problems on distractions.

Like I get it. I'm there. I'm divorced, I'm coming to terms that I was in a 15 year abusive relationship, I'm hurt by her cheating on me twice, I'm hurt by her rejecting my joys and attempts at connecting and reconnecting, I miss the idea of being with her. It's been over two years since I slept next to her, or anyone.

She tried to isolate me. She love bombed me. She gaslit me. She threatened me.

But I had a kid, I have my parents, my brother, several friends, a couple of regular groups I meet up with. I desperately want the love life I pretended to have. But if it weren't for that support system in place, I would have killed myself two years ago.

Instead I lost the weight that was actually killing me. I put muscle on where I've had none. There are physical features I cannot change that affect my physical attractiveness that I get that will impede my ability to date via apps.

That's how I was able to figure this all out. The fact that you are progressive means that you see the value in other people, and see the value in connection.

There has been narratives pushed for decades to try and isolate us, gaslight us, and threaten us as humans. We need to put our oxygen mask on first before helping others.

This sounds like a misrepresentation of left wing politics.

It sounds more like how the right defines the left which brings us to the real issue.

Outrage narratives have grown increasingly popular with social media and the right spends endless time blaring sirens on representing the left a certain way.

The left has in response, done little, to influence the narrative.

I personally have not heard the left as a whole admonishing individual men simply for being men.

I think an honest assessment of society, historically and now, should lead to the conclusion that we live in a male centric society that is gradually becoming less male centric. This is a good thing if you believe in fairness and egalitarianism (ie. not fascism).

It was a little more than 50 years ago that women could not hold credit and were expected to be subservient to their husbands or else be institutionalized for "mental illness".

I think many women see this backlash / desire to go back from conservative men as a skill issue so I'm not suprised they're looking elsewhere.

thats not even remotely true at all, nowhere have been telling men is at fault for why there are problems lol. thats sucha mysogynistic view of the right wingers. i suspect you are only looking from a right wing prospective, because thats how conservative see the left. but the right love to place blame ON WOMEN for not dating conservative men, and plus for rightfully accusing them of SA/ or some other form of violence.

Wild take.

How did the cat garden end up going?

Calling all cats psychopathic is like saying 'all my exes are crazy'. It's probably you, not them. Cats are very sensitive to body language, and like to have their boundaries respected as though they are 20x their size.

My cats bring me their favorite toy springs and meow at me until I accept their gift. They follow me everywhere I go, sleep by my side, and huddle up to me when I cry.

What you described was people liking cats as an ornament, not as a companion. Not to mention, dogs are far easier to train. Someone who enjoys authoritative control would likely prefer dogs over cats.

lack of open mindedness, critical thinking, any form of emotional maturity…

Wasting money on loud motorcycles and huge smoke-emitting trucks ...

She wouldn't leave the marriage due to beliefs, but she would cheat, huh?

The fact that she was cheating on her partner and lying to you is independent of the fact that she was conservative.

...but I'm also not saying there isn't a significant overlap in that Venn diagram.

That's how I found my wife. She was very impressed with my love and care for the last living dodo, which I keep safe from extinction solely for selfish purposes.

Pardon, but it smacks of weird defensiveness that you feel the need to bring up that serial killers often have intimate partners as some kind of counterpoint to the fact that men who figure out how to respect women's boundaries are highly sought as partners.

Serial killers likely find partners by being manipulative and playing mind games - ie, being psychopaths.

Clearly the evidence that men who respect women have major success fostering reliable and enjoyable relationships with them is somehow highly threatening to a lot of guys.

Something has to immediately be said that instead says "but not respecting women also works." Followed by crude red pill thinking - "And aren't all women dumb bc some seem to like danger? And also, women are superficial, so pretend to like a puppy bc that works a lot."

I know media has taught men that masculinity is basically defined by being able to disrespect women and think of them as winnable objects but --

Mentally healthy women aren't falling for that shit. And you guys hate the baggage that the traumatized ones have who are insecure enough fall for that crap.

You could give up the machismo to try.. respect and growing into someone who could be happy?

I'm aro/ace and not dating, but my circle of friends is progressive and most have become poly over the last 5 years.

So I'm acquainted with probably +25 poly guys, most of whom skew progressive (but there are a few who lean more libertarian in there too, and a couple anarchists), and am good enough friends with probably 5 progressive poly guys to have a good sense what they have learned, how they treat their partners, and what their partners find appealing.

To be fair, to me polyamory looks like an insane amount of effort for the payoff - bc I am not interested in even one relationship let alone the intense effort of managing multiple. But from what I have seen, successfully being poly means learning a ton about boundaries, communication, and maintaining respect because all parties constantly have to manage jealousy and limited attention each of their partners. If you don't respect one partner - poof!! -- that relationship is over. And your other partners will likely hear about it, in detail, from both sides and litigate it bc they have a stake both in you and in being someone with you. It is a ton of drama.

But it also seems to be a crucible for learning how to negotiating needs and figuring out how to talk about it openly with each other to build connection - and that process both requires and builds respect for your partners.

Like I said, the guys I know who have stuck with it and learned the necessary people skills now have the problem of having too much interest. Including one friend who had terrible luck dating before and who I worried was on the verge of becoming an incel. Then he dated one of my first friends who was poly, and she kind of taught him in no uncertain terms how this works. Between that and his next poly girlfriend, I watched him become someone who is deeply considerate of his partners and is also confident about his boundaries and what he can offer. He's got like 4 relationships going on, 2 of which are long term.

And again - the biggest change I saw in him was that he stopped seeing the women he wanted to date as games to win or challenges to overcome, and stopped carrying the frustration and shame that comes with the 'failure' to 'score'. He still looks at women with clear desire, but that desire doesn't make him feel like he has to be manipulative or play games.

I don't know how to explain it except that he has a respect for the women he courts that most single guys do not. Maybe it's that he has less to fear from rejection, so he doesn't have to mentally dehumanize women as a coping mechanism. And this is a feature I see in most poly men, and have seen emerge in men as they fall into poly.

Actually - I'm going to ponder the 'able to respect women more bc they have less to fear from rejection' idea more, personally.

That alone may be a big part of their appeal, because a lot of the threat that women have to navigate when being courted is how to safely disengage if a promising flirtation turns sour. There is a lot more enthusiasm to explore or move fast when you are free to say no without fear of a possibly violent meltdown.

And poly guys aren't going to meltdown. They are ok with a no, they are emotionally braced for that and have been through worse feelings already. And they have other relationships to fall back on.

I mean I'm a Catholic so we aren't allowed to do that anyway unless you are trying to have kids.

Red hat is a paid Linux distribution

libertarians have neither

I would say that an ideology based on non-violence, choice and responsibility, with those being impossible to delegate, is exactly about having a heart and a brain at least potentially, unlike the rest

Lol what. That's not what libertarianism means in practice. In the real world it's always "I don't want to pay for other people, even if that means defunding the fire department so my house burns down".

No cap, red cat?

It’s a screencap from a TikTok video. The creator was playing with his cat as that fit the text he used.

Slowly being radicalized liberal (possibly leftist) here reporting in from a happy and stable relationship

Yeah that worked well for the Catholic church, let's do that

Damn, antinatalists, tryna sneak into the conversation!

Go on, git!

There have been many people who've gone viral across social media regarding their regret for voting Republican in the last election, and those are votes that could be snapped up by legitimate, thoughtful engagement.

Instead, we get these memes that are cheering on men's mental health and economic crises. Maybe it's fun to do that, but it's also stupid.

Oh, no. Not at all.

I get it.

Both sides seem to really, really enjoy fascism if they think the governmental pistol is pointed at the right people.

So, wait I'm really confused.

The twisted propaganda term is used for men not getting laid.

The actual problem is men having a distinct lack of social support.

I must not understand this meme then.

It's not. It's actual loneliness. Not having regular social activities, not having support systems in place for their frustrations. Not being close to family, not having anyone to help them when they get sick. Plenty of lonely people are getting laid, but they still lack all that support.

Somebody can't tell the difference between their own identity and which identities the humanity as a whole needs. Probably.

he means women should be giving birth and accepting men as they are, even shitty ones. the comment does sound very mysogynistic.

...i thought my words were clear and indicative, what part do you not understand?...

edit: spelling