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Boomer comics

a month ago by InterestingUsername to c/lemmyshitpost

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tpihkal 170 points a month ago

I can barely afford rent at 40; how the fuck am I going to afford to raise a kid?

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path: 0 23779996, hotness: undefined, score: 170, children: 23
funkless_eck 134 points a month ago

puts hand on shoulder son, we've got to talk about your avocado toast

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meekah 62 points a month ago

Don't forget all the Starbucks coffee!

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path: 0 23779996 23780187 23780598, hotness: undefined, score: 62, children: 14
ignotum 55 points a month ago

Instead of buying that latte, why don't you instead buy some bootstraps and pull on them

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path: 0 23779996 23780187 23780598 23780754, hotness: undefined, score: 55, children: 12
Serinus 35 points a month ago

For those who don't know, this phrase has come full circle.

Image of literal bootstraps

It started as something literally impossible. Then people started using it to say they did it anyway. Expecting what is supposed to be impossible out of people is insane.

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SnarkoPolo 5 points a month ago

Then just walk in, demand to see the Big Boss, say Good Morning Sir, and ask for the job!

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path: 0 23779996 23780187 23780598 23780754 23783997, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
wonderingwanderer 3 points a month ago

That phrase is just something the rich tell the poor to get them to bend over.

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wonderingwanderer 2 points a month ago

And the rotisserie chickens!

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binarytobis 5 points a month ago

The media really gave me unrealistic expectations about how much money my dislike of avocado was going to save me.

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path: 0 23779996 23780187 23786103, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
capt_wolf 51 points a month ago

"There's never going to be a good time for it. We didn't have a lot of money when I had mine. You just learn to sacrifice for them."

Motherfucker, I just ate ramen for dinner.

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path: 0 23779996 23782303, hotness: undefined, score: 51, children: 2
Flower 19 points a month ago

And the rich are even buying up trailer parks to squeeze money out of the people there, so even becoming trailer park trash with kids is unaffordable.

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SwingingTheLamp 10 points a month ago

I support the death penalty for private equity executives.

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dharmacurious 26 points a month ago

Who said anything about raising it? You just need to have the kid, and then the orphan crushing machine will take over from there

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architect 7 points a month ago

I just straight up wouldn’t want to be born so why would I do that to someone?

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basxto 2 points a month ago

child labor

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FauxPseudo 121 points a month ago

"Do you know how hard you have to abuse a mammal to make them not have children?" -- Connor Leahy

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GhostedIC 15 points a month ago

Pandas:

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greedytacothief 4 points a month ago

If you leave them alone in the forest, they're great at making babies. Put them in captivity and they don't.

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FauxPseudo 3 points a month ago

There is always an exception somewhere.

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pigup 120 points a month ago

Sex

As

A

Service

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JasonDJ 72 points a month ago

Literally the oldest profession.

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blarghly 8 points a month ago

Shut up! You'll scare off the venture capital

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solomonschuler 21 points a month ago

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WhatsHerBucket 19 points a month ago

For just $19.99/mo the sex can be yours. Upgrade to our $29.99 package and you won’t have commercials.

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path: 0 23782493 23784239, hotness: undefined, score: 19, children: 2
Viking_Hippie 18 points a month ago

"This orgasm was brought to you by Capital One and the prison industrial complex. What's in YOUR prison wallet?"

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lightnsfw 3 points a month ago

Honestly that's a pretty good deal.

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bhamlin 14 points a month ago

No way, that'd be too convenient. They'll probably make that illegal as soon as they find out someone thought of it.

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ILikeBoobies 10 points a month ago

All great app ideas are taking something and doing it illegally.

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SnarkoPolo 6 points a month ago

nO 1 wAnTs 2 wOrK nE mOaR!!1!11!!

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Zwiebel 5 points a month ago

Joke's on you it's legal in my country 😌

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Junkasaurus 4 points a month ago

Nice 😎

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DarrinBrunner 95 points a month ago

As a boomer-adjacent 60-year-old, with an adult son living at home, it's the economy, stupid.

But, more than that, the world has gone to shit. And, no, that's not the boomer generation's fault. It's the fault of the billionaires and the ignorant people of all generations who have voted for conservatives over the past 50 years.

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Miaou 28 points a month ago

Millennials were not voting 50 years ago.

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nexguy 11 points a month ago

Over the last 50 years includes 0 years, 1 years, even 2 and 3 up to 4 or 5 years ago. Probably even more who knows.

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athatet 2 points a month ago

Sure but they were alive and voted sometime over the past 50 years. And some of them deffo voted for shit politicians. I’m really not sure what your comment is trying to say.

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go_go_gadget 9 points a month ago

Their comment is rightfully pointing out the lions share of responsibility Boomers have for the state of American politics.

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athatet 10 points a month ago

And I’m trying to point out that generations are a spook meant to divide us instead of us focussing on the actual problem, billionaires.

No war but class war.

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unit327 7 points a month ago

As an Australian looking at the US political system, it is fucked in a way that voting can never fix. It simply isn't a democracy in anything other than name.

Over here I can vote for someone other than the two major parties and my vote will actually count for something. In the USA you're basically throwing your vote in the bin unless you vote for horrible party A or slightly less horrible party B.

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Buddahriffic 5 points a month ago

Greatest and silent generations laughing their asses off at the boomers taking all the heat for the state of the world. Previous generations would also be laughing if they weren't dead.

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4am 1 point a month ago

We could have turned out and stopped the boomers but we continued to let them vote us down and, eventually, rig it against us.

Hanging chads!

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path: 0 23781148 23782208 23784282 23784372 23785130, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
go_go_gadget 10 points a month ago

Who'd you vote for in the 2020 primaries?

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DarrinBrunner 17 points a month ago

I maxed out my donation to Bernie and voted for him. In the 40 years I've been voting, I've never voted for a conservative, or Republican, neither federal, state nor local. I've always voted as far left as I can.

Bernie pin:

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path: 0 23781148 23782576 23785587, hotness: undefined, score: 17, children: 2
unit327 6 points a month ago

I’ve always voted as far left as I can

It's so fucked that this is as far left as you can vote, first past the post is mental. Over here I can vote for the socialist alliance party or the animal justice party and actually have it count for something.

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Katana314 1 point a month ago

Very good wording: “A conservative, or a Republican”

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Speculater 4 points a month ago

Damn, you got me. I totally blanked on that primary. Bernie 2.0! Not OP, sorry.

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go_go_gadget 13 points a month ago

I just ask because I was phone banking for that primary and occasionally I ended up on the phone with a registered Republican for whatever reason. They were cordial and I was able to tell them why I thought Bernie was the best candidate among the Democratic nominees.

You know who was vile though? Registered democratic boomers were furious with me and called Bernie "too radical".

So I don't buy it when people try to deflect blame away from boomers for the state of American politics. Registered democratic boomers fight leftists harder than they fight MAGA. 🤷‍♂️

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path: 0 23781148 23782576 23783577 23783644, hotness: undefined, score: 13, children: 2
4am 4 points a month ago

The Democrats really are just republicans trying to “placate the Mr Rogers generations”.

Both parties are filled with ruthless “empathy is weak, every man for himself” assholes. They must be kept as far away from politics as possible.

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architect 1 point a month ago

Damn i had a MAGA threaten to rape me when i was texting for him.

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majster 2 points a month ago

Adult sons living at home is common in European countries where status quo is to the left of your Bernie. So it must be something else. I blame NIMBYs.

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Potatar 1 point a month ago

Italy is left of Bernie? I'm apparently ignorant, can you please tell me where is that intersection of "left of Bernie" and "adult children lives at home"?

Maybe I don't understand left of Bernie: Is he far right so left of him is still right?

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path: 0 23781148 23792610 23805779, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1
majster 1 point a month ago

I must admit I do not know Bernie's policies in great detail. What I wanted to say that is that countries with national healthcare, free schooling, paid maternity, sick time, vacation days and such being the law I would refer to being left of Bernie because the status quo in USA is so much to the right.

Even in countries where all of this is provided by the state, being able to afford roof over your head is still a big challenge.

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path: 0 23781148 23792610 23805779 23814821, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
uriel238 48 points a month ago

One article pointed out it takes $200 for a date, while another points out Zoomers are just not having that much sex, nor are they into romantic relationships.

Maybe if you work a people too hard and give them no hope for a future; if they can't afford to have a life, they may not want to have kids.

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Rampsquatch 13 points a month ago

No, no. We just have to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and stop being lazy.

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blarghly 6 points a month ago

it takes $200 for a date

tf? When I go on a first date with a girl, I take her to a funky bar. We typically have 1 or 2 drinks max. Typically, I buy first round and she buys the second - but even if I pay for the whole date, it's only $40 max. Including tip.

Then for subsequent dates, we're either meeting at one of our places to get straight down to business, or doing something free or nearly free, like going hiking or playing pickleball or cooking dinner together.

Zoomers are just not having that much sex

I can tell you that zoomers are plenty interested in sex. They just need to get over their social anxiety to get naked with someone else.

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path: 0 23788155 23805379, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 1
Warl0k3 4 points a month ago

Yeah, the article in question turned out to be largely BS. The actual study was about dates, including dates that married or long-term couples go on, and even then you had to squint to get the $200 total out of it.

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path: 0 23788155 23805379 23806107, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
StarvingMartist 2 points a month ago

$200??? What am I Richie rich? Fuck me if I'm paying the most I'm spending is $50 then we going to the park

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GhostedIC 2 points a month ago

This is a funny headline if you want to complain but sneaking behind some bushes in the park is still free.

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LodeMike 1 point a month ago

Average for whatever study that is doesn't mean "need".

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backalleycoyote 47 points a month ago

Microplastics are stored in the balls.

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W98BSoD 23 points a month ago

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Bhaelfur 7 points a month ago

Ah shit, I've been making my own this entire time!

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W98BSoD 5 points a month ago

Homemade usually tastes better.

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altphoto 5 points a month ago

And that's where the cum is!

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path: 0 23780943 23782313, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
Someonelol 4 points a month ago

So the next generation's children will be GI Joes and Barbies. No thank you, I'd rather not have any Mattel products for kids.

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path: 0 23780943 23783576, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 1
backalleycoyote 4 points a month ago

Don’t worry. Thanks to the combination of industrial waste in our water supply and VR cybersex they’ll be pumping out Ninja Turtles and Transformers.

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path: 0 23780943 23783576 23784631, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
AskMeForADickPic 35 points a month ago

Downloading cum is so easy, come on be realistic

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testaccount789 34 points a month ago

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FinjaminPoach 18 points a month ago

Bro knows where the cum is stored and where the sex happens

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pleb_maximus 12 points a month ago

Of course, bro is using Arch btw.

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mech 7 points a month ago

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path: 0 23780080 23781046 23784731, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0
kungen 3 points a month ago

Please add -std=c90 gcc flag to build() to make it compile

I personally prefer my sex without STD flags.

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Big_Boss_77 4 points a month ago

Who is "be realistic" and why am I cumming on them?

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Katana314 1 point a month ago

Stipulation: You can’t pirate it.

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socsa 29 points a month ago

Personally I just don't like children, and am suspicious of people who claim to have them on purpose

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path: 0 23782375, hotness: undefined, score: 29, children: 8
4am 12 points a month ago

I always thought this was a weird take. Like yeah I get being a parent is hard and with the world today it’s just not financially fair to a kid for most people to try.

But dude, kids are hilarious and fun m, if you know the right ones.

What this is, is the cascading effect of fewer not-shitty people (or decent people in shitty situations) having kids. Then, everyone sees this maladjusted children and even fewer people want to give it a go.

I mean it’s not anyone’s choice but theirs if they want to have em or even like em. But ironically it’s almost like accelerationism when we all collectively swear off trying.

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Jankatarch 5 points a month ago

Ngl the "hilarious and fun" part mainly comes from them being literal superhumans.

Some toddler climbing literal column of a house

Funny? Hell yeah! But I would NOT trust myself to raise this thing lmao.

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path: 0 23782375 23785089 23787073, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
SaraTonin 5 points a month ago

I love my niblings. My world is an immeasurably better place with them in it. They bring me a lot of joy

I do not want kids of my own and am very glad that i never had any

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vga 5 points a month ago

Literally every ancestor of yours disagreed

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Viking_Hippie 4 points a month ago

Holy selection bias, Batman! 😄

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socsa 4 points a month ago

We should always strive to do better than our parents.

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Ilovethebomb 4 points a month ago

Nah, I'd say there's a fair few who were confused about how that happened.

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architect 0 points a month ago

Lol that’s a mighty big assumption I’m guessing born of privilege! Let me assure you, plenty of people are having kids and hate them.

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Battle_Masker 13 points a month ago

Wait, you guys are finding partners?

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path: 0 23782709, hotness: undefined, score: 13, children: 1
basxto 2 points a month ago

Was having hope on having a go with me from the mirror universe

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FinjaminPoach 10 points a month ago

Sex ed was too effective. They don't know how to have sex without condoms!

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path: 0 23781105, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0
mhzawadi 8 points a month ago

Sounds about right

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finallymadeanaccount 8 points a month ago

Grok, where do I put my pennis?

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SnarkoPolo 5 points a month ago

"These kids today need to be as miserable and depressed as we are!"

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