‘Please avoid chugging your ranch’: TSA forced to issue warning as foreign World Cup fans fall in love with American condiment
4 days ago by cannedtuna to c/nottheonion
He's from Germany.
Anything less bland than an American chain might kill him.
Germans like it scharf and they love sarcasm
Raising Cane's
Ugh. even within the limited circle of fast-food and fast-casual chicken finger franchises, Cane's is bland nonsense. Fried chicken as interpreted by a Star Trek replicator, and not one from the Enterprise, but the Cerritos.
Well certainly not the Cerritos officers' replicators....
They get multiple slices of pizza! AND PESTO!
You take that back!
The cerritos officers replicators have spicy mayo!
Starfleet wouldn't even curse the lower deckers with cane's chicken.
I swear they are only kept afloat by how quick they sling the chicken out, and their toast. It's like people don't know how to make their own toast...
Their sauce is okay (I prefer Layne's), but that's good because it's fuckin' necessary, since I think somebody saw a recipe for the batter that included a pinch of black pepper and said , "Whoa there motherfucker! We ain't makin' ethnic food here!"
Admittedly, when the Cane's comes out it does always look very sanitary and photo-ready. Like, I don't feel like I'm gonna get Salmonella from eating there, but it's just so joyless.
I've been telling people this for years. The only reason they like Cane's is the sauce. And that is easily replicated at home. It's not a particularly special sauce with weird ingredients, it's a fairly generic burger and fry sauce.
The actual Chicken is bland and boring, it's like they don't realize spices exist at all, even salt. Absolutely anywhere else you could possibly go has better fried chicken.
Yeah, I too hate Canes and cannot possibly understand how people think it’s so great.
There are exactly two good things on their menu: the chicken and the Cane's sauce.
And even those aren't good enough for me to go out of my way to get them.
But like, it's not bad by any stretch.
The chicken strips are deep fried Tyson strips
It's not bad, it's just mediocre, the worst thing you can be. If someone had the opinion that it were bad, then that's means it's flavorful enough for someone to form an opinion of it. However, it's just the most basic ass fried chicken you can get. I can almost guarantee you, wherever there's a Cain's, there's a better fried chicken place close enough that you should go there instead.
Brother, if Taco Bell got you that excited you should try the real stuff. If you’re at a match in the US where any Latin American country is playing I guarantee there is an abuela in the parking lot/on the sidewalk selling food out of a cooler that will explode your European palate and send you directly to heaven.
I hate when people say this, because they clearly don't actually understand the Taco Bell dynamic. They assume it's trying to be something it isn't.
Taco Bell is not Mexican food, and they do not claim to be Mexican Food. Their items are vaguely latin-inspired, and they generally use the same 5 or so ingredients that most Mexican food uses in various shapes and sizes, but nowhere on their marketing or website will you find a claim that they make Mexican food. They don't claim to, and they don't claim to be authentic. Expecting that or even comparing it to that, is disingenuous at best, and actively stupid at worst.
Taco Bell is its own thing. I'm in Arizona, there's Mexican food literally on every corner. Most good, some excellent, very little bad, because it just doesn't aurvive. Yet 9/10 people I see at Taco Bell are some flavor of Hispanic. There's a reason they go there, and it's not because they want Mexican food.
I came here to say this exact same thing! Thank you for saving me the trouble.
Cravings for Mexican food and for taco bell will not satisfy each other because they're not the same thing.
There's a whole spectrum of cravings for Mexican. Sometimes it's Taco Bell, sometimes it's Azteca, sometimes it's that unlicensed al pastor pop-up at the edge of the Winco parking lot at night, and sometimes it's authentic Oaxacan pollo con mole.
The whole point is we have authentic food from most countries available to us in Europe. Immigrants and cultures mixing is not unique to the US. What we don't have is all the big chain fast food that we see on tv, but have never tasted. We get excited because we get to try "authentic american" fast food.
Yeah this guy is making the same mistake as the "Americans don't have an accent" people.
Also, a handful of the preservatives and some ingredients used in the US fast food supply chain are illegal to manufacture and/or serve in Europe.
Like the beef!
It's so cheap in America because of all the hormones they feed the cows, and that makes it illegal to sell in much of the world.
Legit though, if you come over, try and find a decent soul food place too.
The fast food chains are interesting for sure, but soul food is where it's at :)
And that's a valid thing to be excited by. It's the same as wandering the streets of Vietnam or Tripoli late at night to eat the street food. And you should do it because it's not something you can experience back home very easily.
So if you're in the US, try some Burger King and Taco Bell by all means. And if you are really adventurous and daring, eat a gas station hotdog too.
I don't think that's a good comparison at all. From everything I've seen, you can get some outstanding food from a random cart in Vietnam for very cheap (probably like 1/3-1/4 the price a BK meal at this point), and it's going to be 1000x better than anything you could ever find in an American fast food place.
That said, the US also has incredible food, including street food and food carts in many places, that also blows fast food out of the water.
If you come here, and only eat fast food, I honestly feel really bad for you. Especially since it's not even cheap anymore.
The amazing food (and variety of it), is one of the biggest, most visible benefits of the US' multiculturalism. Anyone who has lived in a US city knows exactly what I'm talking about.
Oh, I agree with you. We have a very diverse and tasty cuisine in the US. Filled with foodstuffs that will blow even the most jaded gourmand away.
But if you're a tourist here for the first time in your life, this might well be the only time you get to eat a “real” Big Mac, Whopper, or burrito and potatoes ole. These are things you've read about and seen in movies and probably TV. So there ain't no shame in getting some chicken nuggets and dipping them in ranch dressing and really enjoying the food. And the most important part, where you ate that crappy chicken. It will be a lifetime memory.
...selling god shit
WTF does god shit smell like? Must be good if they can sell it.
The best German food is vietnamese
A friend from Australia was visiting me in LA and wanted all the California stereotypical food throughout the week. The only thing that surpassed all expectations was an al pastor burrito from a local mom and pop shop.
I remember one time my American family hosted some French exchange student and he and all his classmates were dying for taco bell and dunkin donuts. I still honestly don't know why as French bakeries make much better stuff than what you can get at dunkin
Reminds me of this poem I heard
When I first moved to the states
The bottom fell out of my world
Then I discovered taco bell
Not the world falls out of my bottom
Im assuming dude was just drunk. Everything tastes good when drunk.
This surely won’t validate the fascists, at all. It’s why the ‘38 Olympics were such a starter.
1936 olympics
Many of these people will be taking the piss, too.
Apparently, they only care about soccer because we’ve been here for a while. I guess we lack culture, unlike the French cooking methods?
I'm sure there are people that only care about soccer, and are coming to see the world cup despite it being in the USA. Maybe some of those people were pleasantly surprised by what they found here 🤷♂️
French-ranch, or Franch
In the current political climate it's hard to see what "culture" would draw anyone to the US. Being detained by CBP and deported by ICE isn't the kind of experience most people want in their holiday.
You can make it yourself for a fraction of even the price of the packets.
Just made a small batch for wings. It's much better than anything store bought.
Hidden Valley Original Ranch Dressing Clone
1 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup buttermilk (Greek yogurt works fine)
Dried Parsley Flakes
Ground Black Pepper
Msg (optional)
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon onion powder
Dried Thyme
I like to add a touch of dried dill or dill seed also. Edit: also lemon juice or a touch of rice vinegar.
MSG IS NEVER OPTIONAL!!!
One potential problem: I don’t know how it is in the rest of Europe, but in France basically all mayonnaise includes Dijon mustard, so you can’t just use it straight in an American recipe. I did usually see at least one brand labeled “American mayonnaise” that did not include mustard, but people would need to be aware of the difference.
I’d be curious to know if mayonnaise more or less always included mustard and it was for some reason stripped out of the recipe that made its way to the US (my guess would be the British having some role), or if mustard was a later addition to the French recipe after it had already crossed the Atlantic.
Mustard is used as an easy "natural" emulsifier to keep things together, since the ingredients in mayo don't really want to be in that configuration and it is easy to "break" that mix.
The amounts needed to do so is very small though, and usually imperceptible at the scale of a whole jar of mayo. Definitely not something you'd notice in most cases.
But again, every brand is different. Some probably are more mustard forward for whatever reason.
It's not universal across Europe, for sure, so I'd say this is A France problem.
Dutch, English, German mayo would be just fine. Can't speak to Spanish or Italian mayo. Farther east, blander it gets.
But the added buttermilk/yogurt really makes it a negligible issue overall.
As a German I don't think I've ever seen mustard in regular mayonnaise
That is a good question... Any recipe for homemade mayo I've ever seen includes mustard. A casual investigation makes it seem that mayonnaise originates from France or Spain to begin with (I guess it's contested).
That said, I feel like in France all the mustard I have had is much punchier than what we have here in the States. Possible France has just added more and better mustard as a stabilizer?
It is my understanding that mustard is often used as an emulsifier, especially in homemade mayo. But I don’t really like mayo, so I’m not an expert.
Is the mustard flavor you’re talking about subtle, or in your face?
It should be fairly simple to make a pull through mayo at home if you have a stick mixer.
In the context of making home-made mayo for use in ranch dressing, I would probably lean towards using garlic as the emulsifier, but then I'm a sucker for garlic in general.
Lower the salt and add a bit of white pepper.
If not tangy enough, add a (very small) pinch of citric acid.
If you don't have any of these ingredients, it will cost you $24 to buy them all. And, you'll only get 4 batches, before you need to buy more mayo, and 16 batches out of the buttermilk, but you'd better use it up before it goes bad in two weeks. So, you'd need to make and use about one batch per day.
Unless you commit to making it ongoing, and use it regularly, this is not an economical way to get Ranch.
Tell me you don't cook without saying you don't cook... Sheesh.
Any reasonably well-stocked kitchen will have some, if not most, of these.
I prefer using plain yogurt as it's a staple in my house, but powdered buttermilk that lasts years, and just milk and a bit of lemon juice are all well-known substitutes. Nothing special needed.
The point of sharing a recipe is to make a fraction of a full batch, not make a liter on permanent standby. I usually make 8 oz at a time when I make wings. Takes 5 minutes. If I were to use packets, I have to make a full batch as packets aren't a homogeneous powder easily divided.
Also, packets and bottled shelf stable ranch contain preservatives that mess up gut flora. So you may have medical costs later as the result of being obtuse about cooking for yourself now.
I have never once "committed" to making ranch other than on-demand, and I don't buy anything special that I only use for making ranch.
This is an advertisement.
It's like the got milk campaign. Just all milk. All ranch.
And we're smack dab between 2 places known for slow cooking in fat. Ffs we got heavy French plus a harsh winter to the north, and mfers who bury half a pig for a day in hot coals to the south!
Unexpected couchon. You haven't had pork till you've eaten a couchon de lait seasoned to Creole standards and cooked in good swamp earth.
Edit: wait. Half a pig?
It's how I've had it. There was a butcher in South Florida years and years ago that sold them for cheap, and it was an easy thing to do for medium sized gatherings.
That's weird, I've never seen anyone do it with less than a whole pig. You just take the guts out and put seasoning in.
Is this an image of text?
Fuck that, we put ranch through dialysis machines.
Fuckin’ chug your ranch, godspeed!
Wait until they find out ranch makes great lube.
Brings a whole new element to tossing a salad
giggity
Hence the maggots
Never thought about fish sauce! I usually just use a cheap packet and a small container of sour cream. Might throw in a scoop of mayo if I'm feeling frisky. But I did just get a new bottle of squid brand, and I want to use it as much as possible before the flip top takes a shit.
I think I'm about to fuck up some veggies.
I like using tarragon in place of dill.
Don't be sorry, it is gross.
That's your opinion. It's wrong, but you are entitled to it.
Out of curiosity are you also one of the genetically-deficient that think cilantro tastes like soap?
there's no need to be sorry for stating relevant facts
and I want to point out that I fucking love mayonnaise. but ranch is gross.
Right there with you on mayonnaise, and I despise bottled ranch, but you gotta try making your own with some carrots and broccoli and shit.
It's really good.
Ranch from a dressing bottle is gross. A home made ranch sauce is actually pretty good, basically like white sauce with more tang.
I remember the first time I had ranch dressing at a friend's house, I couldn't wait to come home and tell my mom there was something other than oil and vinegar for salad.
Turns out she already knew that. We didn't have ranch dressing because of something called "too expensive." Can you believe that?
Man, she pulled that excuse out for everything.
This is why I buy the ranch powder in bulk.
Powder?? 🤢
Bro add some ranch powder to your fried chicken breading.
Brother's username is CANNED. TUNA. and he's making barf emojis over a seasoning mix lmao
Yeah but imagine if you mixed them together mmmmm
Oh, bro. It's soooo goooood.
Powder was like the original way they sold it, I thought! You mixed it in fresh at home!
TIL. Never knew that. What’s the water ratio??
Milk and mayonnaise, no water lol. For a packet that I have, one cup milk, one cup mayonnaise, and one packet. Mix well. Chill to thicken, serve cold!
If you use yt: https://youtu.be/xCyygfqKylg
Bulk
I might be crazy, but I feel like I am the only one who dislikes ranch. Its just so bland and always prefer blue cheese. I mostly only have it with wings anyway. There is a place by me that does mexican food and im pretty sure they give me ranch with this chicken appatizer, but its filled with dill and tastes great. If it was a variation of ranch then there is definetly hope for it! Just to bland on its own and cant figure out what all the rage is for it.
There's lots of different kinds, but there isn't a bottled ranch that isn't trash imo. So if most of what you've tried is bottled/pre-packaged then i get it. And yes, many times ranch has dill in it but not always. Typically the store bought ones rely mostly on parsley/onion for flavor.
The best I’ve had has basically always been a recipe made in-house at a restaurant. Maybe there are some foodservice versions sold to restaurants that are good but with recipes that never make it onto grocery store shelves. I know Sysco has or had a decent Caesar dressing and I’ve never found one in grocery stores that was as good, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case with other dressings.
Yeah i know what you mean. I find the foodservice versions at restaurants pretty palatable and have often wondered why tf i can't buy it in a grocery store. I think the difference between grocery store versions and everything else isn't so much recipe as it is the ungodly amounts of preservatives needed to make dairy shelf stable means every store bought brand is inevitably too thick and has a nasty chemical aftertaste.
Once or twice I've had passable storebought ranch if it's one that's sold already refrigerated.
I also don’t like ranch… I’ll eat it on cold baby carrots but that’s about it. I don’t like blue cheese, though… or mayonnaise. I think it’s just white creams, I don’t like any of it. Other than cum, I guess.
If you have never tried platters before, i highly recommened it. They give you cups of white sauce to smother the food in and its so tasty. Yes i do believe its just called white sauce. Theres also a red sauce but thats to spicy to me.
I don't like either. Blue cheese itself is rather hit-or-miss for me (I think I may also be mildly allergic). The ingredients that go into ranch I mostly like. I think it boils down to not liking US mayo; I thought I hated all mayo until I had Japanese.
will someone please tell these people about the dry ranch packets that you just mix with milk or butter milk.
They sell Ranch in Lidl
So... Watery aoili?
It's a much stronger taste, it's awful.
Blue cheese masterrace?
Wow you're so much better than everyone else. I hope your day gets better. Seek help if you need it. There's public services if you cannot afford professional care.
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Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
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Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
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Brother, if Taco Bell got you that excited you should try the real stuff. If you’re at a match in the US where any Latin American country is playing I guarantee there is an abuela in the parking lot/on the sidewalk selling food out of a cooler that will explode your European palate and send you directly to heaven.
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