This story, as written by op may or may not be true. But there are quiet little stories of generosity just like it happening everyday that no one ever hears about.
There are a handful of small good things I’ve done in my life, usually white lies like this, that I specifically never want to communicate to anyone. I don’t want them to be a thing to talk about, because I didn’t do them to talk about them.
Every so often I need to remind myself that I am capable of doing good in the world and I have them filed away in my mind. Especially now that I’m more set in a routine and these things happen less
I've done similar from time to time, especially in my trade.
I'm not certain, but i think there's a belief where doing someone a kindness like that should not be something that you tell them about, or anyone else for that matter--you simply do it...or like in this case, you frame it in a way that you don't allow them to accept it as charity or a favor etc... The kindness is the truest when it's simply done and told to no one else. That's a little treat you keep for yourself. 🙂
There's a question of morality of if something is good if you're doing it for something in return, be that just a "thank you" or publicity. To be truly a good deed, the deed itself should be enough. A charitable donation without a name was a donation done for good. One where they wanted people to know that they did it can still do good, but it's debatable whether the act is good.
While silent kindness is the most altruistic, there is such thing as taking it too far.
I used to maintain the strictest secrecy about all my good deeds. I thought acting like a shit person in public would be a nice disguise. Until I convinced everyone that I truly was a shit person, with no redeeming qualities.
Then I had less and less opportunities to do secret good deeds, as people regarded me with distrust and suspicion. Eventually even kindness was received as a sleight. I had to withdraw, and now I can only do nice things when I can cover my tracks so thoroughly that no one will ever know where it even came from.
I've gotten myself into a good bit of trouble sneaking around trying to find opportunities to do nice things. Don't be afraid to be seen being kind.
Batman? Is that you?
But we can't have cake and data centers.
But without datacenters, how will we generate fake stories like this one?
Can't have billionaires and eat them too. Gotta choose one or the other.
Hey I once had an airline worker change and upgrade my flight completely free of charge because I (tearfully) told her I forgot my wallet more than 5 hrs away, had missed my flight, inadvertently gotten my credit card cancelled, and had no way to charge my phone to call for help or get back home.
People are good sometimes.
That's where I get my tiny candles.
Heh, "She had walked here", and that's a sign of poverty. Tell me you're American without saying you're American.
Walking there in the rain with shoes that absorb water is, even in places without the car culture of the US.
Or it’s a sign of lack of planning, but that doesn’t fit as well with the rest of the situation.
Well sure, but given the community, I’m commenting under the assumption that this is genuine.
Doesn't matter if it's true or not, what I personally hate about these stories is that it cheapens the act by making it performative or self-congratulatory. If you do a good deed you're not supposed to talk about it, and certainly not in this overly flowery trash prose.
I'm not religious at all anymore but I lived a significant amount of time in the Bible Belt so you have to steel yourself against religious hypocrites or go insane. So IMO this is one of the good lessons in the Bible, for what it's worth.
“When you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret."
Honestly, if it gets people to be kind, do it. But do it genuinely. Help people and brag, but don't exploit them. I volunteer, I post about it all the time, but I'd still go even if I wasn't posting, I really don't care about the clout.
Help one another, show others your good deed. But don't do it for clout, do it because it's the right thing to do.
There's an argument to be made that this kind of story inspires more people to go good things in ways that they may simply not have thought of otherwise.
And also, there's a difference between a video that its edited etc. and someone just recounting what happened to share the moment.
So what do you suggest? The internet, tv, everyday life, etc is full of people doing the wrong thing constantly and being rewarded insanely for it.
Then a person posts a wholesome story that might inspire others to kindness and your response is this?
What a sad world we live in right now.
You kind of need good actions TO BE SEEN. Come on man.
You get those stories from the mother posting about how a bakery did this really nice thing for her.
From my perspective, if someone advertises that they did <nice thing> then it's just ad spend. Give them kudos for spending a portion of their marketing budget on charity rather than just commercials, but it is still marketing. This can apply to individuals building up their social reputation too.
no. the fact you want someone to notice robs the good deed of it's goodness.
because you only did it for your own selfish gain. you're so selfish that you can't conceive of doing good without it being recognized as it's own reward.
But don't worry, that's 'normal'. in our society. in our society, doing something without it having value to yourself is considered a mental illness, because we have so internalized capitalism and greed, you can't even conceive of not gaining something from doing something for someone else
and hence why we live in brutally transactional world, and why everyone cries about how relationships and community is falling apart... because they don't see any point unless THEY get something out of it.
"What do you suggest?"
..... to do good deeds without announcing them. I thought it was pretty clear from the post.
So you punch down at anyone who dares to be inspired by a feel good story?
You think you're helping?
You're not. The only thing you're doing is giving people who see your opinion another reason to only think of themselves.
Punching down? I am helping. You didn't seem to understand from the post that the OP was suggesting you just do good deeds and NOT post about them online.
Get pissed cuz I'm answering YOUR question lol
No. You don't.
You're not a good person if you need it to be acknowledged by others. That's precisely what leads to perverse performative behaviors, and stupid shit like volentourism, where everyone is being exploited to generate a image for the customer that they have done something selfless and good for someone else, when all it's done is line the pockets of the people who run those orgs.
Frankly, I quite a volunteer org two years ago because they decided the good they were doing had to be acknowledged publicly, and they should get money, and the people involved should get a cut of that money... oh and we should only help the 'most unfortunate' people because that will score us more points/money.... that's no longer volunteering. That's your typical capitalism mindset in a non-profit coating. Don't do things for people unless you can get maximum return from your effort...
you're the one who can't think in anything other than absolutes.
Eh, if we are being cynical then we could extrapolate that same cynicism to conclude that there is no such thing as altruism. That any act of kindness is actually motivated by self interest, whether that be being seeking external praise for their deeds or just internal self-aggrandizement.
At the end of the day does the motivation for the good deed really matter? Or is it just more important that a little girl had a great birthday when she may have not been able otherwise. Exploitation is defined by its harm to the person being exploited. If the baker took a picture or named the mother and that led to public shame, then yeah that could be exploitative.
Without anyone experiencing harm in this hypothetical scenario, I don't really see a reason to think negatively about the situation. It just runs against your subjective preconceived notions of what defines a "good person", and in reality that's not really an objective thing you could actually measure.
I have no idea who this person is. I have no idea if this is true. But i need to at least think there are people like this in the world. Especially right now. So I NEED stories like this.
There are people like this in the world. Believe that. I can't count the number of times people have helped me out of the blue, randomly, without prodding, when I've been seriously down on my luck. Empathy is one of the most primal human emotions. Only psychopaths lack it.
Because you spend too much time on social media.
Go to a local baseball game for kids and watch people coach kids. You'll see it happen regularly. But you won't, and you don't.
So you'd rather cling to these weird dramatic social media posts instead of be involved the boring nonsense of the everyday world that isn't as dramatic.
yeah but then I'll see those same people try to run a cyclist off the road twenty minutes later because they didn't ride in the gutter filled with bottle glass
Well aren’t you just a lovely person.
There's worse things to attention whore about. You could call this setting a good example, too.
The more I think about it, the more I don't like the mindset that good deeds must be done in secret. People shouldn't expect anything in return other than appreciation, but I think good deeds do deserve appreciation.
And I'd bet that bit in the bible was actually there to discourage competition and make it look like no one helps each other so the church is more necessary.
As long as people aren't just making up shit, exaggerating wildly, twisting what happened, or humiliating the people they help.
The good deed doesn't need to be done in secret. But the person doing the good deed shouldn't brag about it. Let the person who got the cake post about it if they want. And omg the writing in this post lol, white knuckles on the purse give me a break. Talk about exploitation
Fuck off with the stupid sneezing picture, why is it always the sneezing picture. People can brag all they want, if you dont care then dont listen. At least they did something worth bragging about.
This is wholesome please be nice
Amen brother. But this is the society we live in, everything is only worth doing if you get something out of it.
And we bitch and whine about how we treat each other... well this is how we treat each other. Your sob story has no merit unless I can use it to make me feel good about myself or get internet fame for it. Otherwise... fuck you you loser.
Frankly I am socially isolating myself because this performative bullshit hypocrisy is so rife, even among the atheist liberals. Everyone wants to incessantly brag how amazing they are because they did something nice once for someone, which was really trivial act.... and often use it to justify their own selfish choices.
I´m not sure whether you´re a bot or not, insisting on spreading negativity on your every comment. And there are many. To any humans reading this: Please don´t let moron bots like this stop you from believing in the goodness of humanity.
it doesn't occur to you that i regard my comments as positive and your comments negative?
could it be that people aren't all the same and interpret the world in different ways?
Or is that that anyone who is different than you is bad and wrong?
I know everyone here is cynical. But damned my spirits will not be crushed.
Humanity can do good and evil. Most of the time I try to do good and help others.
I have chipped in for people at the cashiers. Helped by donating, giving random stuff, helping them or even rescuing them.
There are many others that way. I like to believe.
It starts with you. Take your time in life to make it better.
Also sacrifice the billionaires for humanity.
I'm torn, because yeah, it's a made up story, but at least it's a made up story that is more positive than other made up stories that stoke the worse inclinations.
Of course, if it's easy to find their little bakery from that social media account, well then cynicism cuts hard back toward 'hoping for viral marketing'.
So I guess the compromise is to take in the positivity and completely ignore the source...
Just so tiring always looking for the "catch" and having to assume the worst of others.
I look at it this way: true or false, something like this happens every day. I'm lucky enough to know an entire community of people who would do something like this, and I doubt they'd all post it on the Internet, so I accept this as the placeholder.
My issue isn't that it's fake per se but that it's cloying and mawkishly so. It's like what a really bad writer thinks good writing looks like.
Trying to extract positivity from it is like trying to get nutrition from a plastic apple.
Please stay nice
Don't be so harsh this is wholesome
I KNOW humanity is awesome! It's also really fucking terrible, but I cannot allow myself to become jaded either. I like helping others, I like to see people happy, and what goes around definitely comes around.
Small acts of kindness are hugely important, and I've known people whom I've shown what I thought were standard care for, burst into tears for being so nice to them.
Your small acts may mean heaps for others.
Whether it's true or not is beside the point. It's plausible, that's enough. It's plausible, because similar things do happen all the time. People are mostly kind and thoughtful, and it's good to be reminded of that.
I bought a homeless looking woman lunch on my card a few weeks ago, because I didn't have any cash to give her. Does me telling my family how good it made me feel cheapen the act? I'd like to hope not, because from my eyes it's not self congratulatory, it's sharing something small they were able to do for another person because it makes them happy. I don't get the negativity in these threads.
You just told all of Lemmy about it. That woman is now hungry again and it was all for nothing :(
Edit: y'all need some sarcasm lessons and fuck off with bashing people who do good deeds
“You didn’t completely change that person’s life and solve all of their problems forever, so you’re just a performative, egotistical, self-fellating waste of time and I hate you because there is no greater reward or provided innate comfort for continuing to survive and suffer the aspects of life in general!” - You.
Yeah let's all stop showering, sleeping, and eating because its just gonna need to be done again.
Hey friend. I had these thoughts. Generalized Anxiety Disorder with a hearty side of CPTSD and clinical depression was the diagnosis.
Chunk that shit.
You can tell a true war story by the questions you ask. Somebody tells a story, let's say, and afterward you ask, "Is it true?" and if the answer matters, you've got your answer.
For example, we've all heard this one. Four guys go down a trail. A grenade sails out. One guy jumps on it and takes the blast and saves his three buddies.
Is it true?
The answer matters.
You'd feel cheated if it never hapened. Without the grounding reality, it's just a trite bit of puffery, pure Hollywood, untrue in the way all such stories are untrue. Yet even if it did happen--and maybe it did, anything's possible--even then you know it can't be true, because a true war story does not depend upon that kind of truth. Absolute occurrence is irrelevant. A thing may happen and be a total lie; another thing may not happen and be truer than the truth. For example: Four guys go down a trail. A grenade sails out. One guy jumps on it and takes the blast, but it’s a killer grenade and everybody dies anyway. Before they die, though, one of the dead guys says, “The fuck you do that for?” and the jumper says, “Story of my life, man,” and the other guy starts to smile but he’s dead.
That’s a true story that never happened.
god i hated that book.
What didn't you like? I don't remember too much about it (we had it for like 9th grade English) but I thought it was a good read.
because it pushes the common sentiment in American literature that the only relevant truth is our subjective experiences and mythology of individual egotism. it's reductionist and sentimentalist. I read it in 9th grade too.
I think reality and truth exist outside of individuals, and that they matter. Which is never a popular sentiment, and increasingly has become less of one as of late as folks seem to be moving toward group solipsism.
More broadly, I generally don't like American literature, because I find it way too navel-gazing, sentimental, and self-congratulatory. I prefer non-American literature because it tends to have a more grounded view of the world that's more embedded in real history, than Americans and their obsession with their own uniqueness and exceptionalism and standing 'outside history'. I also resent how American English is taught as if America and UK literature is the only relevant one in the world... and typically only likes foreign authors if their work is Americanized or fits the American cultural narrative.
I hated English class in general, except Shakespeare and the Ancient Greeks and even more since discovered there is this whole other world of great lit out there that isn't taught in American classrooms because it's 'scary and weird' to Americans, teachers and students alike. Even to this day, people come to my house and tell my how 'weird' my books are because so much of it is European/Asian and it's full of different ideas than American ones.
it would be really interesting to talk a class on American literature in a foreign country, or just a class in America without the instructor jerking off about how American authors are the most deep and profound people on the earth and subject (often drug fueled) feelings are the ultimate truth/experience in life. Every English or writing class I've ever taken comes off like nationalist propaganda to me... and actually I read a few books about how USA entire English/writing higher ed infrastructure was funded by the CIA to precisely do that... which confirmed my suspicions about it the entire time.
I think the only American author I really liked is Melville, because his work was anti-egotistical and kind of went at the American mythology of egotistical individualism and the idea that truth only exists 'inside us', where as most American authors, past and present, seem to embrace that idea as gospel.
people are mostly kind and thoughtful to people they identify with and think who are part of their tribe. they want to help 'good people who are struggling'
they are most cruel and nasty to people who they don't feel this way about. what do you think the owner would have done if the customer had been a black man vs a white woman?
statically, the variance in how they'd be treated is fucking insane. and you'd have comments here vigoriously defending her right to feel afraid/threatened/alarmed, instead of sympathetic and giving.
This reveals more about you rather than making any kind of point.
yes, anyone who mentions bad things happen is a bad person, clearly.
if only we every thought happy thoughts, nothing bad would ever happy and we'd all be perfect people.
must be nice to live in such absolute world wherever everyone who isn't you is the problem. and the facts of a objective reality don't exist.
we should also kill all sociologists, anthropologists, psychologists, because their research is negative or something
Why does this story generate so much sympathy on here for the person instead of fiery rage against the social system that enables this?
Why should a small entrepreneur have to give away their products out of good will instead of society enabling everyone to buy a few cupcakes once a year?
Why socialise the problems for the many while promoting private profits for the few?
It's called the orphan crushing machine.
People celebrate that one orphan has been saved from being crushed by the orphan crushing machine. No one questions that we have an orphan crushing machine. No one acknowledges that the machine is of our own creation. No one realizes that we could stop and dismantle the machine at any point. Because we have always had an orphan crushing machine. There's a prophecy that we will lose everything and it will all collapse if the orphan crushing machine is stopped. The prophecy was written by those who made the machine.
So people celebrate one orphan was saved, but how dare you suggest we dismantle the orphan crushing machine. So it goes unacknowledged.
As people all too familiar with The Orphan Crushing Machine, it's nice reading a plausible story about one person acting against its grain.
It's okay though. The very next story on the feed is probably focused on the machine itself - probably something about a capacity increase, or new motors or blades.
you suppose there is a world in which no such machine could ever exist.
there isn't. this is simple a throught experiment.
in the real world there will always be poverty, and there are plenty of folks in the real world who tell you they are in poverty, when they are not.
To be honest, I’m so full of rage at the system and the people who prop it up that every so often I just need to let myself feel happy and proud of the people who live in said system and help to starve it, not feed it.
Absolutely there are people who like it because it helps validate their shitty positions but there are also people who just need a win to keep them going in pushing back. It helps to know that your anger is not a lonely anger, that your need for justice is not unique and small.
Because we all need a mental break once in a while. Those of us that care and understand are exhausted by little Timmy’s lemonade stand to pay for his dad’s cancer treatment, Susie’s cupcake drive to help with mom’s insulin bills, a gofundme to help pay for someone's unexpected disability, or just about every infuriating event where people paint glowing pictures like this to signal the virtue of the hard worker engaging in the desperate grind to save someone rather than be enraged at the failure of society that necessitates child labor or social largesse to pay for someone's continued life and liberty.
It’s fucked up. I hate that I have a government that would piss away trillions on bombs and Sturmabteilung killing people rather than invest in the citizens so someone of any age can afford insulin, or a cake or piñata for a kid’s birthday.
So allow us to shed a tear over a potentially apocryphal story where someone’s life is better for just a moment thanks to a person who expected nothing in return.
This is me. On the one hand, I am filled with rage that we have a society where a young mother can't even afford a nice birthday for her kid, where the first part is the sort of story I witnessed over and over when I was in retail. On the other hand, this sort of story, even if it's embellished or untrue, lets me hold hope for at least a moment that there's good in this world worth fighting for.
the vast majority of your fellow citizens aren't. they have more voting power than you
and they like this way.
Yeah, we still need prosocial behaviors on the individual level regardless of what wider economic system we have.
The use praise for prosocial behaviors as an excuse for a broken system is mostly a third world problem, with the USA at the helm.
A small business like a bakery is still within a community. Massive corporations are not.
because people want to feel good, not bad.
and if you try to make them feel bad, they will simple hate you.
They've improved the ending over the last version of this I read.
What's was the prior ending? O.o
$100%
I don't recall exactly, but I'm pretty sure that the thank you card is a new addition.
We're all still here. We've just been duped into letting the wrong people run the show.
Your MOM'S a Facebook copypasta designed to promote engagement and then regurgitated on Twitter!
my mom is too stupid to know how to use facebook.
so she watches fox news instead.
Say what you want about Mulder but the man had a purpose in life.
And a lot of people wanted to kill him for it.
what social structure has ever existed where such poverty doesn't exist?
other than the one in your head.
And everyone clapped
fuck off and let us have a little optimism. shits bad enough without some doomer debbie downer trying to suck the single iota of wholesome energy out of a post regardless of whether it's real or not.
Please stop. You're going to make me cry and I'm standing right in front of the croissant tray.
This is toxic positivity, which is toxic.
Anyway, I gave half of my last sandwich to a homeless guy yesterday. Then later it turned out he was a billionaire and he appointed me to be CEO of his factory. And you're an asshole if you dispute that story, somehow.
it's only positive if you're both not male and not white.
otherwise you're just perpetuating the patriarchy and you should have gave that sandwich to a more oppressed homeless person
yeesh, seems like that struck a nerve. calm down
The placebo effect exists for a reason. Also, smiling makes you happier.
yeah, clearly the answer to climate change and other massive social problems is for us to just smile more.
just like my parents used to tell me i should be happy for all they did for me, while they systematically abused me... lol
If I ever see ICE kidnap someone I'll try to remember to yell out to them, "remember to smile it'll make you happeir!!"
Whole lotta "nothing ever happens" in the comments.
Motherfuckers won't lemmy be wholesome! 😤
They won't drop their cynicism out of fear of being fooled. They were fooled once or twice, it felt bad man, and now they over-compensate. To be fair, for some people this is the best course. If they can't tell truth from fiction, it's safer to assume most things are bullshit. It's the low tolerance for risk, low reward group.
For something like this, there's so little risk, there's no reason not to just believe it, where's the harm? Well, feeling foolish is hard to swallow for some people, especially young people.
or we just don't see the world in such absurd hyperbole of either being a niavely optimistic or darkly cynical.
almost as if the world is just people being people, and the bakery owner could also be abuser her kids at home while she gives out free cupcakes to poor moms at the bakery.
crazy idea, i know. that the world is complex and people are too. that people can be really good in one moment, and absolute monsters in the next... or is that kinda too scary/hard to comprehend... so you they have to be ONE way or the OTHER.
I will take "Shit That Did Not Happen" for 300 Alex.
Christ on a bike pal would it kill you to have a little whimsy in your life?
How is any of this bleak self congratulatory bullshit whimsy?
whimsy would be a post about how a butterfly landed on your dogs nose and it sneezed it off.
The whimsy is your ability to go "This is nice, I enjoy having some small hope that not everyone is a heartless shitheel."
Instead of immediately personifying the 'nothing ever happens' meme, and deciding that spreading your opinion like a pair of cheeks to shit on what is potentially just a nice story about someone doing a nice thing, is more important than doing literally anything else.
you realize that your yum is someone else yuck, right?
and them reporting that, and ruining your day, is your problem, not theirs.
I don't like sports man. Every sports fan I meet and I say I'm not into sports, acts like I kicked them in the kidney and I'm the asshole. It never occurs to them that... maybe other people just don't like sports and that's fine and it's not a personal insult against them as a person.
But please lecture me more how my perspective ruins your day or something, because you only want to think happy thoughts and regard critical thoughts as heresy or something.
If you can't read that story and immediately flag it as fake you need to work on yourself. I would consider whoever made this shit up and posted instead of actually doing good in the world to be a heartless shitheel.
Please be nice. This is wholesome
The FUCKING croissant tray.
Please stay wholesome
Honestly, the card at the end made me believe it more.
and everybody clapped!
Not for the lie. The lie from the donor was totally unneeded...
But even then, there were multiple lies... I can't fathom a kid asking her mom, "Where'd you get this cake from?" and going to the store to slip that note, or just as unbelievable would be the mom instructing her to do that and write that the store manager made herself happy, or that she wrote it herself and posed as the kid... Like, what? None of these possibilities seems viable...
Sorry, not sorry: no applause from moi. Just a "🤨."
I can easily imagine a mother getting her child to write/draw a thank you note, especially for a situation like this. This is literally just basic manners.
Please stay wholesome
Should have never looked at the comments.
I love it!
In my country, thered be a line of people asking for uneven cakes the day after.
I'm a school bus driver and I got a card at the end of the year from all the kids at one stop. They all signed their names, but one fourth-grade girl added "thank you for driving us from place to place and for making us smile every day. We ♥ you!" I about melted. Much more meaningful than the fucking Panera gift card it came with (I know, I know: never look a gift horse in the microwave).
These kids are all rich as fuck, so it's not exactly the same as OP's story.
I'm not crying, you're crying.
"Thank you for making MY MOMMY happy"? Ungrateful brat! YOU were supposed to be happy about the soggy cake she carried through the rain. I know you wanted a vanilla cupcake instead, but you can't make demands while being poor. At least your mommy was able to sell half of it to the neighbours to get you paper and crayons for your pathetic message. Now fuck off. Geeze.
Buddy you can't get away from the mirror
Whoever cross-posted this to orphancrushing@lemmy.world is a sick individual. Much respect.
Don't say it more. America, freedom country ?
Great my eyes are all watery, whos chopping onions?!?!?
where is the part where everybody clapped?
thanks for using Leebra!
go to feed...
I really want this story to be true.
save