Quick, someone release Chatbot 2000!

11 days ago by ZILtoid1991 to c/programmer_humor

18107 231 points 10 days ago

Bar graph of Windows versions. Most are unreadably small, 95 and 98 are visible, and Windows 2000 is the only tall column.

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tazeycrazy 42 points 10 days ago

Where is XP and Vista on this chart. Millennium edition is missing but we don't count That one anyway.

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BigPotato 47 points 10 days ago

They're all NaN and were discarded at outliers... Yeah, they're that bad compared to 2000.

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Valmond 3 points 10 days ago

What about my first windows, the 3.0 😭

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a_non_monotonic_function 2 points 10 days ago

I think I jumped over from DOS at 3.1. High five!

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Hueristic_Autistic 7 points 10 days ago

If you could get *Windows ME to install without crashing.

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squirrel 13 points 10 days ago

get YOU to install what?

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Hueristic_Autistic 4 points 10 days ago

ME was the abbreviation for Millennium in Windows ME.

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cows_are_underrated 4 points 10 days ago

XP in ASCII is [0x58, 0x50] and Vista is [0x56, 0x69 0x73, 0x74, 0x61]. If we add all of them together we get 168 (0xB2 for XP and 519 (0x207) for Vista

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wackyheartfluid 4 points 10 days ago

I counted it. They said it was 'more stable'. It was not. I used to know my CD license code off by heart.

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leftzero 3 points 10 days ago

This one's coincidentally accurate, though (relatively; 8 should be in the negatives, or dropped off the chart altogether like ME, and 98 and 98SE should be split).

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FuglyDuck 96 points 11 days ago

So... apparently Dragon Naturally Speaking (version 16!) has them all blown out of the water....

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Psythik 39 points 11 days ago

God that app was such trash. Voice recognition simply did not work in the 2000s yet everybody and their mother tried to push it upon us 20 years too soon, just like they're trying to do now with LLMs.

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empireOfLove2 26 points 11 days ago

Remember when windows vista itself came with a voice to text assistant / keyboard thing?

I remeber trying to train that software for hours as a kid just for it to still not understand me half the time lol.

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Pyro 20 points 11 days ago

You have reminded me of one of my favorite videos of all time

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phailhaus 9 points 11 days ago

That was incredible. I had no idea it could be so easy.

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marcos 11 points 11 days ago

Ironically, it was LLMs that made voice recognition work, but nobody is interested in pushing them anymore.

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SnotFlickerman 2 points 10 days ago

I love my local LLM voice recognition on my PC through Speech Note on Linux.

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explodicle 2 points 10 days ago

There's a significant minority of us who relentlessly demand a TTS computer with Majel Barrett's voice.

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wyldrstallyns 2 points 10 days ago

Good thing it's not Morgan Freeman, then. Even naturally sounding like him can get you sued for impersonation, IIRC. 🙃

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TheFogan 10 points 11 days ago

I don't know to me the level it worked, is what makes it really silly to me that so few things can handle local transcription today without cloud services. I felt like it was 99% accurate running on a crappy win XP system with like 256 MB ram. Seems to me that it's crazy that 20 years later we're "well we need to hook you up to a supercomputer to do that".

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Fishnoodle 5 points 10 days ago

We literally have Enterprise wide systems where I work that had version upgrades over the last few years that moved transactions from our servers to cloud based ones. It's been a fucking mess for every single application that did that. Regular outages with no real communication or ETA, and there's nothing my team can do about it

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VinegarChunks 4 points 10 days ago

It is only just barely usable today.

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Catoblepas 11 points 11 days ago

Blast from the past, I remember having this included with some game I bought in the 90s and it felt very Star Trek at the time.

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Hideakikarate 7 points 11 days ago

I used to work with a pathologist who was so old and stuck in his ways that when the practice was shifting to Dragon, they allowed him to remain on the old transcriptionist service, even though it cost them more.

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chiliedogg 2 points 10 days ago

Version 20,922,789,888,000 ?

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OliMoli2137 1 point 10 days ago

unexpected factorial

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palordrolap 90 points 11 days ago

It is worth noting that the same metric is the exact reason that web browser version numbers are so ridiculous.

What's that saying? Something about the moment a metric is used to measure performance, it ceases to be a good metric.

That's what's happening here. In one of the stupidest ways possible.

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clay_pidgin 34 points 11 days ago

Here's an episode of the excellent "99 percent Invisible" design podcast that interviews a philosopher who ho has written about this topic! https://99percentinvisible.org/...

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kibiz0r 13 points 10 days ago

I listen to 100 percent invisible, thanks

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clay_pidgin 5 points 10 days ago

Can't say I blame you; it's 1% better.

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wyldrstallyns 2 points 10 days ago

Something something "1%" isn't better, it's just an infantile bragging rights distinction with an abhorrently "premium" price-tag. Fucking "1%ers" think they're better simply for being able to pay more for the same shit on the spoon.

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boonhet 21 points 10 days ago

Oh yeah, Firefox used to take years to change major version number, then they changed to... what was it now, a 6 week schedule? To keep up with Chrome's versions.

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laurelraven 11 points 10 days ago

I hate their versioning schedule so damned much

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victorz 7 points 10 days ago

It's gone to a 4 week cadence, now down to a 2-week cadence.

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inbn 55 points 11 days ago

They are not ready for my Xbox 360

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Maultasche 32 points 11 days ago

Meanwhile, Atari is off the scale

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Im_old 12 points 11 days ago

smirks in amiga500

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northernlights 11 points 11 days ago

My old Amstrad CPC6128 isn't too shabby either

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13igtyme 7 points 11 days ago

Transylvania 6-5000 is in shambles.

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wyldrstallyns 1 point 10 days ago

They were ahead of their time, but even that couldn't save that legendary version.

"Crap? I like crap. I love crap. I need crap. Crap is what sells newspapers. Look around you. Crap, crap, crap. Crap, crap, crap, crap."

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blackshirt 51 points 10 days ago

Chrome bumped its versioning numbers to overtake Firefox back in the day, that’s how we ended up with stupid version numbers like 124.1.2 instead of meaningful versions.

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teolan 15 points 10 days ago

I've started using CalVer (so a relase in October 2026 would be numbered 26.10). This is just so much better for end-user applications.

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asdfasdfasdf 9 points 10 days ago

What's the benefits here? Why is the semver even bad to begin with? I'm not sure why I'd care that it's in the hundreds. It's a number, right?

Dates - I can just look at the release date if I want that.

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emergencyfood 7 points 10 days ago

The only correct system is 0ver.

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Funkt4st1c 8 points 10 days ago

I honestly love this idea unironically because its not really 1.0 until the bugs are gone and all desired features are present. If there are ever 2.0 plans, those are actually 1.0 plans and you were further behind than you thought

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horsesaysweird 6 points 10 days ago

It depends. If your software lives in a rapidly evolving ecosystem and gets buggier with age, CalVer tells the user how important it is to update. If the ecosystem is stable and you want to inform the user about feature sets and bug fixes, SemVer makes more sense.

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teolan 3 points 10 days ago

SemVer simply has no meaning to end users.

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jj4211 13 points 10 days ago

By definition, SemVer is supposed to have meaning to end users. If you see the third number increase, no worries, it's just bugfixes.

If you see the second number increase, well, in theory no worries, it's just cool new features but doesn't break anything you were doing, whatever you were doing should keep on working as always, and you can explore the new features at your leisure.

The first number changes: beware, something you may be used to can change/go away so it's not necessarily a slam dunk to update that.

The problem is that many projects just call it SemVer when they just play with arbitrary numbers. I'll call it "Marketing Versioning".

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asdfasdfasdf 10 points 10 days ago

I just don't see what the point is of making the version the date. If I care about time then look up the release date metadata associated with the version.

Semver shows breaking changes. That seems more important than time to me, and I'd think for most people. Calver implies to me that people are manually reviewing releases and going "yeah this date is more recent so I think I'll go with that one" which makes no sense to me. Basically everyone has some automated update system.

What does matter to me is if an update with break anything or includes new features.

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jj4211 2 points 10 days ago

SemVer isn't bad, but it's kind of pointless in the browsers. The value in SemVer is if you realistically promise to take bumping that first number seriously. Implying you take backwards compatibility seriously, and bugfixes seriously enough to keep patching an 'old' version. If you just maniacally bump the 'backwards incompatible change' number and never bother to revisit old releases, then I don't really care about the SemVer.

Of course, I also don't necessarily care about the CalVer either if there's update notification in play, the browsers will aggressively let you know you need an update. However if update notification isn't working or otherwise isn't in play, then CalVer can at least make you think "24.7... that seems like it might be old, maybe I should look for updates". In Windows world the CalVer has been informative as the system or corporate IT screw up has frozen a device at 22H2 and trigger some manual effort to figure out/fix whyever the hell the system won't go to new functional levels.

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Baizey 3 points 10 days ago

Why not just do 2026.10 then?

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MonkderVierte 6 points 10 days ago

Because it's clearly not 1926 and it likely will not be around in 2126.

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teolan 9 points 10 days ago

Maybe the software will be around in 2126, but I most certainly won't, not my problem 😂

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Baizey 3 points 10 days ago

Maybe it's just the horror that we work with a very questionable version of it :(

263.2

2026 release, major 3, minor 2

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Goodlucksil 3 points 10 days ago

Type less numbers. Or one would name versions by their compilation timestamp. You wouldn't want 20261002112036.

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tutter 1 point 10 days ago

really? i personally find the drive to FIFAfy software very distastefull. But to each their own!

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teolan 3 points 10 days ago

Just because you release updates doesn't mean you have to make people pay 60€ every time...

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kubica 6 points 10 days ago

Will the trend stop before we have to start using scientific notation?

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blackshirt 12 points 10 days ago

version 1.345435e+12 just dropped, time to upgrade.

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polle 3 points 10 days ago

A sane pre step would be using epoch time as version number.

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SinTan1729 1 point 10 days ago

Oh, we're far beyond that point already.

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Morlark 3 points 8 days ago

And then Firefox changed its version numbering policy to "catch up". I lost a shred of respect for them that day.

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SlurpingPus 1 point 10 days ago

Not really, Chromium's version just increased by one with every release. It's kinda the same as the second number in the semver designation.

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Prunebutt 26 points 10 days ago

Important info: Sashi is supposedly a shitposter.

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chalupapocalypse 25 points 10 days ago

Has anyone checked on Bonzi Buddy lately, I think it's time to unfreeze him

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fyzzlefry 9 points 10 days ago

Also, Clippy was special, but he wasn't evil.

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AlecSadler 2 points 10 days ago

Wow, blast from the past.

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JustAnotherPodunk 3 points 10 days ago

I sorta remember that I think... But my mind keeps going back to kittens shoved into glass vases for internet shock value. Bonzai kitties was a whole thing in the wild west of the internet and it shouldn't be forgotten.

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Hueristic_Autistic 5 points 10 days ago

wild west of the internet

you mean the free internet

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wyldrstallyns 1 point 10 days ago

Hunh. So it tracks, then? Throwing the gates wide for the desperate plebs to run amok across the lands, chasing dreams of a better life —just softening up the resistance of those who came long before and effectively paving the way with their blood, sweat, and sundry lives.

The playbook hasn't changed in centuries.

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Avicenna 24 points 10 days ago

This is a joke right? tell me it is please

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LodeMike 5 points 10 days ago

Yes

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Snapz 21 points 10 days ago

I'm literally the oldest I've ever been in my entire life!

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a_jeering_serpent 12 points 10 days ago

More people have been to Berlin than I have

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crunchy 21 points 10 days ago

This is also why I use AMD over NVIDIA.

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REDACTED 5 points 10 days ago

Why?

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leftzero 32 points 10 days ago

It's over 9000!

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MonkderVierte 2 points 10 days ago

Not the devices fault, weird-pauldrons guy.

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UntouchedWagons 16 points 10 days ago

AMD consumer GPU numbers are I think in the 9000s while Nvidia's are only in the 5000's or maybe 6000's.

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laurelraven 8 points 10 days ago

Nvidia's really fallen hard, too, they'd reached the 9000s over 18 years ago and just plummeted after that

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REDACTED 8 points 10 days ago

I'm an idiot.

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Sgt_choke_n_stroke 15 points 10 days ago

Shit like this would be laughed at by my professors. What a bunch of goons

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ApeNo1 12 points 10 days ago

Windows 2000 has entered the chat

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BilSabab 3 points 10 days ago

crushing at saying stupid shit? both are gleefully sloppy

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HeHoXa 2 points 10 days ago

I would like to welcome Sashi to try my new Ollama modelfile, HehoAI 69420

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Evotech 2 points 10 days ago

TMBB

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OliMoli2137 1 point 10 days ago

c/unexpectedFactorial

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percent 1 point 10 days ago

Heh, guess Gemini wasn't even worth including

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Impractical_Island 1 point 10 days ago

Clearly no AI can maintain an erection the way I do. It's like a baby's arm holding and apple, if the apple was of the Butchered Circumcision variety. Not as good for baking as the Grannie Smith or the Dutchmeal Sweets, but it holds turgid enough for penetration, so it's whatever. And no AI can replace me, and you're stuck with me for eternity cuz I know the true nature of reality and it's a dog shit fucked in my ass cream last night, lengthwise in order to support the Huns invasion of Bulgaria.

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BreadOven -1 points 10 days ago

The Y-axis is a thing.

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LodeMike 1 point 10 days ago

It certainly is

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programmer_humor

@programming.dev

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

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Posts must be related to programming or programmer topics
- If the mod doesn't find it funny, you're banned. Ha-ha!... For real: do not use the community for "statements". There are other places for such content. Keep it chill and funny.

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programmer_humor

@programming.dev

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

Keep content in english
No advertisements
Posts must be related to programming or programmer topics
- If the mod doesn't find it funny, you're banned. Ha-ha!... For real: do not use the community for "statements". There are other places for such content. Keep it chill and funny.

go to feed...