Walk directly across the hood.

It's a tough one honestly, because you never know if its someone that's generally a considerate person but had to park for an emergency.. Or if it's just a general asshole on a standard day.

Judging by the car make and model though (all black Tesla), I'd lean towards the latter.

Mild annoyance and then continue with my day. If I'm really annoyed report it to whoever issues the parking fines in the area.

Nothing, officer. I didn't see who keyed the car.

I exhale sharply through my nose, go around and forget about it 15 seconds later.

I called parking enforcement on this one. Right in front of the job site drive. We don't come here everyday, but when we do, it'd be nice to be able to pull in. They called me when they got to the car and asked if I wanted it toed. I said that they do it all the time but just give a warning, because it's the first time I've called. Next time, it's gone.

My reaction would be How did i get to another country?

I mumble “what an asshole” and move on with my life

Walk over it. Even if it's filmed, they are in a crosswalk what would come of that? Get some friends to do the same. If they don't want their car walked on, don't park on the crosswalk.

Change into my "blind guy" costume and beat the car with my stick until someone stops me.

“Hope they get a ticket”

Ah, Balkans, huh?

Edit: Looks like Portugal plates. They're honorary Balkans.

I'm British so I'm going to tut loudly and mutter something under my breath

"Oh thank god! I'm back in Spain. Maybe living in the US was just a horrible nightmare!"

I'd definitely be calling a couple of my wheelchair bound brothers. I'm sure they'd be up for seeing how fast they could crash into it... Maybe not all of them but Dave would, Dave would absolutely ram right into it multiple times (he really doesn't like not having access to a crosswalk).

Walk over its hood. It's technically not illegal in most parts.

Russian style , place very big stickers on all the windows , works great.
Also place dogshit on his car

This sort of thing is really common where I live. No point reporting them as the police don't do anything and they continue to park like this

Call the cops and wait there to watch it get towed.

I would think wow that's terrible parking, and would wonder if they'll get a ticket from somebody who makes a living putting tickets on improperly parked cars.

Buy a roll of those stickers they put on products that is basically impossible to remove without ripping it and always leaves behind adhesive residue. See how much you can cover.

Walk across the crosswalk dozens of times wearing a big, metal belt buckle.

Saying "oops" every time I accidentally run into the car.

"Cool, free stem valves!"

yoink

Climb over the top of it, of course. Preferably with golf shoes.

I think that person is an asshole for stopping on the crosswalk, but I have no authority to do anything about it and move on.

Must be part of the crosswalk, just walk over it!

Maybe covering everything with cars and car infrastructure was a bad idea.

Mix glitter and superglue in a water balloon

There used to be a website called You Park Like An Asshole that had pre-designed flyers you could attach to cars like this and other such infractions of, uh, good parking etiquette, if not also laws.

Looks like the site is dead, and either way, the other comments suggest this is in a country where the primary language isn't English so their flyers wouldn't be as useful.

... but it doesn't mean that you can't design your own in the local language and shove it under their windscreen wiper. Bonus points for putting it in a sticky-backed plastic envelope. You know. The things that parking tickets usually get put in.

Key it while crossing over the hood when I'm having a bad day (every day is a bad day in my book).

I'd probably think "God why did I have to come across so many cars and terrible drivers today. Damn I hate cars."

and then walk away.

remember, the aircon input for cars are normally the slot under the windscreen

I will think to myself "fucking swastikar" and move on.

“Hmpf… what an asshole…” *life goes on *

It's a rich wanker as always. I live in a pretty affluent area and the wealthy think they can break the traffic laws all the time.

A car? Seen one before mate.

I crawl over them and go on with my day. It has resulted in some angry people and police called on me once, but the officer fined the driver for crossing the stopline (it wasn’t a parked car, they were stopped for red) and told me to not do it again.

Wait is this Portugal? If I was walking the zebra crossing I would have just walked over the car. Also if you call the police they will tow the car, fine the owner, and even if they come to move it before the tow truck arrives, they still have pay for it in addition

Impotent Rage

Edit: on second thought, Vienna where i live has an app where you can report stuff like this. Second alternative, call the cops to tow the illegally parked car which is a pretty expensive way to learn that you can't park there.

I'd probably not even notice. But I live in Italy and I've seen some shit.

I would take gel deodorant and put it on all of the door handles.

My immediate reaction? Why the fuck is this asshole parked in the fucking crossing walk?

I might consider calling parking enforcement to see if we can get it towed.

Go back to my home and start a government petition to legalise pedestrians carrying rocket-propelled grenade launchers to better handle situations like this

Oh, I love geoguessr: https://maps.app.goo.gl/TUNB28PnLf2ZuxZG6

I ordered a pack of about a hundred business cards with "YOU OARKED LIKE AN IDIOT" on one side and a list of checkboxes with reasons on the other. Qould probably stick a couple of these at several points around the car

I make sure my keys are clipped to my belt securely. Wouldn't want them to fall off as I squeeeeeeeeeeze past, would I?

I dont think the police would care that much if I called them about an improperly parked car. I'd call them anyways and use my best Sheldon Cooper impression and make a huge deal out of it.

Am climbing over that

Thanks to my dogs I usually carry around a bag full of shit to comment appropriately.

Take a photo, send it to the police.

Slash the tires.

I sometimes get touchy touchy with the mirrors so they have to lose time readjusting them.

i got stickers made of paper that say "nice parking job" which i stick directly in view on the windshield :3 it's a hassle to scrape it off

I got similar situation in a cul-de-sac around my area. There is a sidewalk going through and people like to park their car right in the middle of it.

I just do small stuff like bending out rear wiper or bending front passenger's external mirror. People do be getting the memo.

I'm not a European myself, but when I visit France this is too common to even remark upon to my wife. I don't know why they don't ticket them, or maybe they do and it's not a concern?

I find interesting how everything in that picture looks familiar even though it is another country. The crosswalks, the street sign, the style of the buildings, the alarm placard. Is that a dentist clinic?

You could say it was taken near my house and I would believe it if not because of the car plates.

Hell yeah I’m back in Lisbon

Get my flipper and open the charging port!

Chicago Sunroof

I hope it is just a delivery guy who thinks "This'll take a sec."

call the police?

But some Oscar Meyer bologna and fuck up their paint job.

I used to know someone who carried little tightly wrapped baggies of acetone in his glove box to chuck at asshole drivers.

I think about him every time I see something like this

tires

I'd pee on the door handles

Continue, stoicly walking in my designated space. Car or no car. (I wish.. in reality I'd probably just walk around the car)

“Oh hey look, a Nazi sympathizer.”

I just want to say to anyone who says "key this car" - it very likely has a camera running once you come close enough to it, so if the camera gets your face or other identifiable information, you can be held liable.

Remove the valve stem cores, reinstall valve caps. Have fun with ur random flats for the next week.

am just gonna say in my head "eww someone's driving fascist owned cars" or smth

keys

Leave a boot print

Accidentally run into it head in and end up with a concussion. Then I can sue them.

I've got the street all to myself. Maybe I'd have a brief moment of reflection on how surprisingly quiet and peaceful city streets can be at times.

Is someone in the front seat? It almost looks like a small tuft of blond hair. Is someone dropping off mail into the post office box?

I'd be like 🤌. Maybe even 🤌🤌.

Hint: the plate on the car behind the black one

nevermind, it's France. I'd read an "I" at first.

don't listen to me, it's not even France

If it's a hot day, I rub my genitals on the windscreen. Really get a nice smearing action on that glass. Then I leave a note saying I did what I did because they parked like an arsehole.

Wrong place. Where am i?

And also, who tf parks so wrong?

Report it via the local app.

Reminds me of this ancient Mentos ad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqgqgcE8Zck

Shit on the bonnet, shit on the roof, shit on the side mirrors, shit on the windows, shit on the trunk, shit on the tires, shit on the door handles, shit on the windscreen wipers and shit inside of the exhaust pipe

Have some dark fantasies, but probably not do anything about it. If I did see someone damaging the car or the owner, I don't know what you're talking about.

Egg it?

Worst drivers ever.

I was the car behind him the other day. Except it was a truck or SUV, like an Escalade or something. You know, those guys who think they own the road. The funny thing is, they had just run a red light in front of me. They didn't beat the yellow, either. It was red when they got there. They just decided the red light was only for the working folks. Fortunately they didn't get hit crossing. Got a few horns though. So I thought it was funny as hell that I rolled up behind them at the next stop. They were the first one there, and they rolled just past the line right onto the crosswalk. Absolutely tracked for how they'd been driving.

Maybe I could have downloaded the dashcam video and posted it somewhere, but I'm not a rat. The cops will catch this guy eventually. I don't need to be a part of it. People bitch about the cost of the ticket, but they don't realise they're not just paying for the one time they got caught, they're paying for all the times they didn't. That they didn't get away with it and now the bill has come due. That's what their saved time was worth. If it's too much, maybe next time they'll just leave earlier, drive safer. If it's not... they won't learn.

I'm going to turn around and wonder what crazy portal I just walked though.

Hit it with a sticker saying: sh*tty parked' dude ! And yes I bought before I...

a simple brick makes a tesla look infinitely better

Oi, censura a matrícula do carro que está no canto superior direito da foto; vê-se perfeitamente.

p.s. as duas matrículas dos carros que aparecem nas imagens são legíveis; respeito à privacidade, por favor.

O imbecil que estacionou aí merece uma multa.

E onde é isto? Parece familiar.

I see no problem

Think "this person probably didn't see the crosswalk" and move on with my day. Because it doesn't inconvenience me in the slightest.

Edit: sorry that I don't subscribe to the very valid outrage about a car that's parked wrong. Pour those downvotes Lemmy!