Rough date

5 days ago by ickplant to c/lemmyshitpost

jedibob5 309 points 5 days ago

Having a drink to calm the nerves is one thing, but spending several minutes taking shots of vodka before a date sounds like straight-up alcoholic behavior. Unless OP is greatly exaggerating, either she has a massive tolerance, or she would end up a drunken mess in front of her date, which would probably be much worse than a case of the nerves.

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sundray 123 points 5 days ago

If I knew my date hand just taken five shots in short order the first thing I'd probably ask them is, "Can I call you a cab?"

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Siethron 41 points 5 days ago

I'm not a cab... YOUR A CAB... whatsh werz we tulking abit

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Proprietary_Blend 13 points 5 days ago

Nerd!

/$

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sundray 5 points 5 days ago

🤓 !

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ivanafterall 10 points 5 days ago

What if you had also taken five shots in short order?

The plot thickens.

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sundray 10 points 5 days ago

In that case I'd be too busy laughing at my own jokes to do anything useful.

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diabetic_porcupine 1 point 4 days ago

Hippocrate

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anomnom 4 points 5 days ago

Sounds like that short video series with the guy from Silicon Valley.

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tomiant 2 points 5 days ago

I'd go shot for shot with her and we'd have a fucking blast.

Bunch of fucking virgins in here.

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stringere 6 points 4 days ago

It wasn't until I got clean that I came to understand that non-alcoholocs don't see drinking as a competitive activity.

Good luck, I hope it never gets bad for you but that's usually a question of when, not if.

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Thebeardedsinglemalt 3 points 5 days ago

Every girl I've ever known who tried 5 shots of vodka was crying by 3 and throwing up while taking #5.

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webghost0101 38 points 5 days ago

To be fair they said “5 minutes” but did not give a number of shots.

“s” implies at least 2, leaving some wiggle room that they where not accustomed to strong liquor and had trouble getting It down. 2 of them because they underestimate the effect of just one.

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jedibob5 34 points 5 days ago

They also used the word "chug," which is almost certainly an exaggeration to some degree, but it certainly implies more than two, IMO.

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kbobabob 13 points 5 days ago

You don't "pound" 2 shots. I feel like that's a 4-5 shot minimum.

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kbobabob 5 points 5 days ago

You don't "pound" 2 shots. I feel like that's a 4-5 shot minimum.

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ivanafterall 4 points 5 days ago

You don't think I can pound two shots!?

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kbobabob 3 points 5 days ago

Live your dreams

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rumba 14 points 5 days ago

I'm pretty resistant to alcohol and numbing medications. I could do two double shots and just barely have the edge taken off.

Of course, I'd not even consider drinking to ease nerves, and there's no f'ing way I'd be doing shots in my car; that's a great way to get a DUI in most places.

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echodot 8 points 5 days ago

You're not even supposed to have alcohol within arms reach. Technically they can pull you over for having it on the back seat although I'm not sure how they would notice that.

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MML 1 point 5 days ago

Not in Mississippi, it's actually legal to drink while driving provided you're under the limit.

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rumba 1 point 4 days ago

yeah laws on that vary wildly by location

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Appoxo 2 points 5 days ago

Sounds very much like she was driven by a friend...

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bitjunkie 6 points 5 days ago

Much worse for him.

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SpaceNoodle 165 points 5 days ago

I, too, always keep an open bottle of vodka in my car, accessible from the driver's seat. It's just common sense.

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Texas_Hangover 57 points 5 days ago

Of course! You dont want to be fumbling around god knows where for that shit! Its unsafe.

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bizarroland 28 points 5 days ago

Exactly, that's why I keep it right next to my loaded pistol and bag of oxy

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SatansMaggotyCumFart 24 points 5 days ago

It's embarrassing when you go for a shot of vodka and end up with a pistol barrel in your mouth instead.

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EvilHankVenture 15 points 5 days ago

I was going to make a pun about Russian roulette with vodka or a bullet, but I realized vodka or bullet would still just be Russian roulette.

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Proprietary_Blend 10 points 5 days ago

Happens all. The. Time.

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ivanafterall 9 points 5 days ago

Classic Wednesday night.

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usualsuspect191 16 points 5 days ago

You can put it in a water bladder and strap it to the sun visor. Now you have a handy straw and then it's as simple as taking a sip whenever you feel your vision go unblurry

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Tehhund 1 point 4 days ago

I promised to use this knowledge only for good.

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masta_chief 20 points 5 days ago

The vast majority of accidents are caused by sober drivers. Thank you for doing your part to keep our roads safe!

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echodot 18 points 5 days ago

I like to take a shot every time I see a black car, gets me ready for work in the morning. Obviously I don't drink and drive that would be dangerous, I wait until I'm traffic lights.

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thisisbutaname 14 points 5 days ago

So when the cops stop you, you can take a swig right in front of them. Then they can't prove you were drunk before that and can't give you a DUI

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superduperpirate 6 points 5 days ago

A fifth of vodka, a loaded & unregistered pistol, a crack pipe, and a photo album of me walking by adorable dogs and not stopping to offer pets.

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tomiant 2 points 5 days ago

Not offering pets

You might as well have a child in the trunk at that point, you monster.

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SpaceNoodle 2 points 5 days ago

No meth pipe? No videos of you putting kittens in dumpsters? Fucking amateur

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superduperpirate 2 points 5 days ago

I know. I’m slacking off. My bad.

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tomiant 2 points 5 days ago

I also sit in the parking lot before a date just staring at people in the cars next to me.

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SanderZeldenthuis 104 points 5 days ago

Sort of reminds me of the time my friend fixed me up with a friend of his partner.

OK its not the same but we met up at a nice chinese restaurant in amsterdam and I immediately found my date very hot. We had chemistry right away! When the server came to take the drink order my date lean in close and whisper to my ear "only get a mixer" as she pressed two small bottles into my hand and then winked at me.

Turned out she is a flight attendant for klm and her purse was full of them!

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Gullible 67 points 5 days ago

This is why we should normalize committing societal faux pas and crimes on dates! Sounds like it was an incredibly fun time

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SanderZeldenthuis 23 points 5 days ago

Yeah it was a wild for certain!

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papalonian 17 points 5 days ago

I have not been on too many first dates, but I usually try to find something moderately illegal to set the vibe.

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Gullible 11 points 5 days ago

*the patter of seeds against stone*

“Yeah, they don’t let me feed birds at this park anymore”

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Passerby6497 7 points 5 days ago

Of course, gotta make sure you're not with a square or a narc

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ProdigalFrog 2 points 5 days ago

Yeah, I mean, if they're not into doing something a little out of the ordinary, how can you know you'll be compatible?

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PolarKraken 4 points 5 days ago

My now-wife hid me from police one of the first times we hung out, couldn't agree more!

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UnderpantsWeevil 16 points 5 days ago

When the server came to take the drink order my date lean in close and whisper to my ear “only get a mixer” as she pressed two small bottles into my hand and then winked at me.

Marriage Material

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socsa 10 points 5 days ago

So, is your wife single or what?

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ivanafterall 9 points 5 days ago

Are you George Clooney from the 2009 comedy/romance Up in the Air?

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SatansMaggotyCumFart 5 points 5 days ago

Yes.

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crypt0cler1c 67 points 5 days ago

Dating is fine. Alcoholism is tough.

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Paddzr 37 points 5 days ago

Yup, dating didn't make her drink. Also I wouldn't want to date someone who can't function without alcohol.

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erev -6 points 5 days ago

Theres a difference between "i need to drink before socializing" and "i may not have dated in a while and a buzz would help calm the nerves". theres plausoble explanation for this.

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Donkter 8 points 4 days ago

And there's a difference between "I'll have a sip of vodka to loosen me up" and "I'll 'pound shots' and 'chug vodka for 5 minutes'"

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zebidiah 1 point 4 days ago

She could have just had a shot and spent the 4 minutes making wrenching faces holding it down.....

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placebo 1 point 4 days ago

I wouldn't pay too much attention to that last part. The story is either fake or it is exaggerated to make it funny. In either case, vodka isn't something a normal person would drink, let alone right before a date.

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ivanafterall 64 points 5 days ago

My only proper post-bar one night stand, we got to my place, and the girl pulled out of her purse the largest bottle of vodka seemingly imaginable. It was like some disturbing Mary Poppins shit and really was an appropriate harbinger of everything that followed.

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SatansMaggotyCumFart 27 points 5 days ago

Did she put it in your butthole?

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ivanafterall 31 points 5 days ago

No, that was a different girl, whole other thing. It just escalated quickly for a guy who isn't super the taking girls home from the beeeest honky tonk in Utah type. It'd all sound made up, but it's just how it accidentally happened. But I'm not divulging mostly because it'd probably be super vanilla to you freaks. (jk kind of)

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SatansMaggotyCumFart 11 points 5 days ago

Did she jump on top or just leave the lights on?

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diablomnky 25 points 5 days ago

They did mention Utah, so probably took off the special underwear, jump humped, and then soaked in god's loophole until morning.

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ivanafterall 20 points 5 days ago

Primarily, she wanted me to fist her and spit in her mouth, which. .in some other context, FINE, maybe? Maybe after your name sticks in memory or like...maybe next time? Preferably still probably no? I just wanted sex, it'd been awhile, Jesus Christ. We already went to Denny's. Idk you just had to be there. I don't kiss and tell. I'm a gentleman.

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Zozano 40 points 5 days ago

I basically did this once.

Except it wasn't alcohol, it was molly.

The date was going poorly, because we were on different levels.

She said I was being egotistical, I apologised and told her I was ballin.

This was hilarious apparently, the date went smooth afterwards.

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ivanafterall 14 points 5 days ago

Nice, you were right, you were ballin.

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LuminousLuddite 1 point 5 days ago

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Someonelol 40 points 5 days ago

Pre gaming it is a must in today's economy anyway. Sounds like she had a good idea but rolled a nat 1 in the execution.

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explodicle 5 points 5 days ago

Where are young people supposed to even meet each other anymore? JFC the only place they're allowed to be overtly sexual is the bar, where it's expensive now. Dating websites suck now and if you approach anyone anywhere else, you're a creep?

God damn no wonder we have a dwindling population. The only safe options are rich and asexual.

/yells at cloud

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UnderpantsWeevil 36 points 5 days ago

Women in movies: "Going to do a full blown date prep montage, complete with song and dance number, where I transform from mousy librarian to runway model over the course of 15 minutes. Come out cool as a cucumber and charming as a prince."

Women in real life: "Going to throw on a top and some jeans, half watch a Netflix special about serial killers while I curl my hair, then down a mug of hard liquor to build up the courage to look a guy I've got a crush on straight in the eyes. Try to make it through dinner without mumbling, burping, or mentioning that I'm on my period."

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vivalapivo 14 points 5 days ago

Absolutely love these "real life" women

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eatCasserole 36 points 5 days ago

Ok but if you're nervous, presumably there's an expectation that it might not go well...and then you'll want to leave...in your car...while all that vodka seeps into your brain.

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velma 28 points 5 days ago

Someone who openly drinks while they're sitting in the driver's seat can get a DUI from that alone. They aren't caring about driving drunk, I'd wager.

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sydd 2 points 5 days ago

I'm not sure about every state, but as far as I know that would just constitute an open container. You would have to be over the legal limit with a breathalyzer or blood draw, or fail a roadside sobriety test to receive a DUI charge.

Again, every state/country is different

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panda_abyss 34 points 5 days ago

Probably my closest real life example to this was I had a breakfast date, but I ended up getting pretty drunk at a party the night before and showed up still drunk :(

I felt like an ass.

We went on a few more dates but then she suddenly stopped texting me. She messaged me like 2 months later and said there was a death in her family and she was sorry, but we didn’t set up any dates after that.

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Crackhappy 27 points 5 days ago

That was a rollercoaster of a story with a disappointing end.

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panda_abyss 27 points 5 days ago

It was disappointing, I did really like her!

But it’s okay, I like my now wife more than I liked her.

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Tabula_stercore 1 point 5 days ago

*dramatic

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krisevol 1 point 5 days ago

You were the distraction, and that is ok

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panda_abyss 1 point 5 days ago

What do you mean?

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kersploosh 26 points 5 days ago

Reminds me of a first date where I arrived at the bar to find her with her friend, polishing off their second pitcher of margarita. They showed up an hour early to get absolutely smashed. The server came over and gave me a look that screamed, "Run away and don't look back." It was a fun date, but a very short relationship.

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FistingEnthusiast 26 points 5 days ago

Ahhhh...

The 'Murican attitude that it's ok to drink and drive...

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ickplant 23 points 5 days ago

Yup, people in, say, Eastern Europe or South Africa never drink and drive. Hell, even Canada has higher mortality rate than the U.S. for drunk driving.

I get that it’s fashionable to shit on America (and like 99% of time it’s justified), and I will not go as far as to say there is no drunk driving problem here (cause of course there is), but it’s not an “American attitude”

Source: https://www.forbes.com/...

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PalmTreeIsBestTree 6 points 5 days ago

And if anything drinking culture has become less popular do to cannabis recreation legalization in about half of all states.

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Teepo 6 points 4 days ago

Your link does not say that Canada has a higher mortality rate than the US for drunk driving. It says that drunk driving is responsible for a slightly higher percentage of motor vehicle fatalities (34% compared to 31%). Given that the US has three times as many traffic fatalities per capita, this means that the US has almost three times the mortality rate for drunk driving as compared to Canada.

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ddplf 2 points 5 days ago

Bro don't try to fool me, I watched Ray Donovan so I know how bad it is!

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prole 19 points 5 days ago

Yeah, seems pretty clear that the drinking was done in a parked car after getting to the place they were supposed to meet. So not really.

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Demdaru 32 points 5 days ago

And then they teleported back to homes <3

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0x0 1 point 5 days ago

Sure, or any of all other ways without driving themselves. If you cant think of any you need to get outside more.

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Euphoma 4 points 5 days ago

Explain how they are supposed to take their car home without driving it. Because if they leave it there it would probably get towed

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FatVegan 13 points 5 days ago

What are you supposred to do?? Walk? Not drink? Insanity

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FistingEnthusiast 9 points 5 days ago

I think the obvious thing to do is to make up stories on the internet

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nonfuinoncuro 2 points 4 days ago

https://youtu.be/ccreGXv2YKI

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Tiral 4 points 5 days ago

She didn't drive, she's sitting in a parked car. But sure, America is bad because of a random story that is probably made up. Where do you live that's perfect, I'd love to move there.

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the_flying_pig 31 points 5 days ago

It's safe to assume that if she drove to the place of the date, she planned driving home as well.

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dan1101 3 points 5 days ago

30 years ago it was more of a "no harm, no foul" attitude. People would regularly drive around while actively drinking and mostly were not bothered.

Then organizations like Mothers Against Drunk Driving did a lot of lobbying and got politicians to make more laws and police to actively enforce them.

Now the blood alcohol limits before you can be arrested for DUI are fairly low.

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Nonconfrontational 17 points 5 days ago

And drunk driving deaths are also down.

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explodicle 3 points 5 days ago

Crime overall is down

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Ilovethebomb 1 point 3 days ago

They're not defending it, just talking about how it used to be portrayed.

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FistingEnthusiast 0 points 4 days ago

Drunk drivers hurt other people because of their selfish stupidity

You're fucking dense

Typical fucking yank. "I'm fine, so fuck everyone else" while being too stupid to know that you're not fine.

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dan1101 3 points 4 days ago

I don't remember saying that

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Rekorse -3 points 4 days ago

Its funny, the words you wrote made people think that.

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Ilovethebomb 2 points 4 days ago

Nothing they said indicates they think drink driving is OK, just that people used to view it like that.

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Rekorse -3 points 4 days ago

Their posts reads like drinking used to be accepted and okay but now its not accepted but still okay. Also, it was women that ruined it for us. This is some bullshit Charlie Kirk level of dishonest debate.

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Donebrach 25 points 4 days ago

As an alcoholic… that lady is an alcoholic.

But could totally be a meet-cute for a really bad manga that runs for 74 chapters and then just vanishes.

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frostysauce 2 points 3 days ago

Yeah, the fact she already had the bottle in the car...

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FatVegan 24 points 5 days ago

My date would be over if i saw that they are an alcoholic who drink and drive

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JoeBigelow 10 points 5 days ago

Good luck getting laid in rural areas lol

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FistingEnthusiast 6 points 5 days ago

Ok, I'm not related to them so they wouldn't like me anyway

And I can spell, and hate Trump, so I'd be too "librul"

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bitjunkie 8 points 5 days ago

She may have planned to cab back, it's unclear from the story

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ChexMax -2 points 5 days ago

That's why she waited until arriving to drink? And then presumably the date lasts a few hours over which she sobers up?

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socsa 19 points 5 days ago

Keeper/10

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1995ToyotaCorolla 5 points 5 days ago

Seriously this is a "...and this is their 15th anniversary" kinda story

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ZMoney 19 points 5 days ago

The polite thing to do in this instance is to get on her level by pounding your own set of shots.

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stringere 5 points 4 days ago

Power move: pound her shots.

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OldSageRick 12 points 5 days ago

Whats a bumble date?

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Lemmyoutofhere 57 points 5 days ago

Dating site for bees.

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sundray 21 points 5 days ago

There's a lot of buzz about it!

path: 0 24305408 24305429 24305512, hotness: undefined, score: 21, children: 0

sirico 10 points 5 days ago

Dating app where women make the first move

path: 0 24305408 24305451, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 10

dogdeanafternoon 19 points 5 days ago

It’s not even that anymore. They took away the one thing that made it unique.

path: 0 24305408 24305451 24305584, hotness: undefined, score: 19, children: 9

Lost_My_Mind 19 points 5 days ago

Thats because one company owns okcupid, tinder, bumble, and plentyofish.

They probably own grindr too. 20 years ago these services all acted very differently. Today they're basically the same app 4 times.

path: 0 24305408 24305451 24305584 24306203, hotness: undefined, score: 19, children: 5

Ilovethebomb 7 points 5 days ago

The Match group ruined everything that made OKcupid what it was.

path: 0 24305408 24305451 24305584 24306203 24308759, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 1

humanamerican 7 points 5 days ago

This is so disappointing but not surprising.

path: 0 24305408 24305451 24305584 24306203 24308662, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0

CannedYeet 2 points 5 days ago

Bumble is the only one that isn't part of Match Group

path: 0 24305408 24305451 24305584 24306203 24311074, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

echodot 1 point 5 days ago

I don't think it is actually part of their group.

path: 0 24305408 24305451 24305584 24306203 24311506, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

Squirrelsdrivemenuts 6 points 5 days ago

Bumble still has a userbase looking for different things than on Tinder. At least my friends experience is more relationships, less one-nighters.

path: 0 24305408 24305451 24305584 24307427, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 1

ivanafterall 1 point 5 days ago

Tinder is frankly unusable now.

path: 0 24305408 24305451 24305584 24307427 24312008, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

protist 4 points 5 days ago

Women can still pay for the privilege

path: 0 24305408 24305451 24305584 24306229, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0

BarneyPiccolo 12 points 5 days ago

So she loosened up on her own dime, and all I have to do now is convince a drunk girl I'm sexy? Sounds like I hit the lottery.

path: 0 24309365, hotness: undefined, score: 12, children: 0

GhostFace 10 points 5 days ago

There's nothing entirely wrong with this. I cannot function in some social settings without a little bit of liquor. Just half a can of white claw is enough to open me up somewhat.

path: 0 24319319, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 7

ReluctantMuskrat 22 points 4 days ago

I mean it's meant to be funny, but in reality ½ a can of white claw and doing shots for 5 minutes are two very different things. Alcohol in volume is not a good anxiety remedy. Get help if you need to get drunk for social settings to be tolerable because becoming an alcoholic will make your life much, much worse.

path: 0 24319319 24322296, hotness: undefined, score: 22, children: 4

nonfuinoncuro 7 points 4 days ago

yeah i mean we've all been there but the op is straight up textbook abuse

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Aneb 2 points 4 days ago

Good way to put it. Like I've had benders but I'm not drinking to hide my personality, most times it just makes it harder to communicate. Like right now I'm on a bender. Weed is also great. Most times instead of liquor pick up some flower. I'm on both atm and its great, highly recommend.

path: 0 24319319 24322296 24324483 24326143, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1

AzuraTheSpellkissed 1 point 4 days ago

Maybe she's counting on the date lasting a while. Or staying over for the night.

path: 0 24319319 24322296 24324483 24326143 24328955, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

PhoenixDog -3 points 4 days ago

Or, and hear me out, OP is over-exaggerating for comedic purposes for content creation.

Or do you believe every story a stand up comedian says?

Do you think movies are real?

path: 0 24319319 24322296 24324483 24337373, hotness: undefined, score: -3, children: 0

Rekorse 6 points 4 days ago

Drinking a pint of liquor in your car before a social event is a pretty solid sign of alcohol dependency.

path: 0 24319319 24332929, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 1

PhoenixDog -3 points 4 days ago

Taking a twitter post completely un-sourced as 100% serious might also be a pretty solid sign of mental deficiency.

path: 0 24319319 24332929 24337356, hotness: undefined, score: -3, children: 0

tio_bira 9 points 4 days ago

If was me, she already would have some points in advantage since vodka is my drink of choice...

path: 0 24325807, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 5

Atropos 3 points 4 days ago

Legitimate question - what do you like about vodka? Do you mix anything with it? I've never found one I enjoyed, so I am curious.

path: 0 24325807 24326830, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 4

AbKingPro 12 points 4 days ago

It gets the job done and it's cheap

path: 0 24325807 24326830 24327044, hotness: undefined, score: 12, children: 2

Adulated_Aspersion 1 point 4 days ago

Pure Grain Alcohol enters the chat.

path: 0 24325807 24326830 24327044 24337044, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

davepleasebehave 1 point 4 days ago

zero faff

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Drun 1 point 4 days ago

If served right, vodka should taste like almost tasteless cold liquid with just a little bitterness in it. Refreshing drink, if you ask me. It also a great appetitive for some dishes.

path: 0 24325807 24326830 24335964, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

PattyMcB 7 points 5 days ago

She sounds fun!

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sentient_loom 4 points 5 days ago

He totally would not have noticed that she was completely smashed.

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bridgeburner -9 points 5 days ago

*Dating is rough only for guys

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VinegarChunks 22 points 5 days ago

Getting a date is a lot harder for a guy.

Meeting up with unknown dudes met on the Internet is a lot riskier for a woman.

path: 0 24319800 24320205, hotness: undefined, score: 22, children: 2

Thebeardedsinglemalt 8 points 5 days ago

Getting a date is a lot harder for a guy.

As a non-fit-bro-adonis I have to put shittons of effort into my profile to make it stand out. It's pretty grating when 70% of the women I'm scrolling through have the same generic-ass answers while also saying "I'm not like other women"

Thinks liking the Office is a personality trait
"Go on Adventures"
"Fluent in sarcasm"
States what their love language is
What I order for the table: "Chips and queso!" Or "Margs and queso!"
Simple pleasures: "clean sheets and coffee"

path: 0 24319800 24320205 24320583, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 1

Ilovethebomb 3 points 4 days ago

I have a rule that there has to be something I find interesting or want to know more about in someone's profile before I will message them.

This immediately rules out about half the profiles I see.

path: 0 24319800 24320205 24320583 24326900, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

gandalf_der_12te 5 points 4 days ago

the act of getting a date might be easier for women, but the chances of the date going well are not higher.

path: 0 24319800 24325674, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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