"A Florida woman has been accused of entering the penguin enclosure to teach them to tap dance, using a live alligator as her partner."

"In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very unhappy and has been widely regarded as a bad move."

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

"This too shall pass"

If something good happens, it's a cautionary warning to stay humble.

If something bad happens, it's a comforting reminder that things will get better.

They don't think it be like it is, but it do.

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

"In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move".

The chinese poem "The Story of Mr. Shi Eating Lions"

Shíshì shī shì shǐ shì, shì shǐ, shī shì, shì shí shí shī. Shī sì shì shī. Shǐ shì shè sì, shì shī shì, shǐ shī shì shí shī shī, shì shí shí, shǐ shí shìshì. Shǐ shǐ shì shì shì shì, shì shī shì. Shì shì shì shì.

https://en.wikipedia.org/...

"I look both ways when I cross a one way street, because that's how much faith I have in humanity."

"That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse"

Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes

"Do you think... God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he's created, here on Earth? "

Dr Romero, Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams, written by Robert Rodriguez.

People don’t think it be like it is, but it do

Tiān gāo, huángdì yuǎn
Heaven is high and the emperor is far away

Is one of my favorite.

Another is the a misattributed quote:

Les hommes ne seront jamais libres tant que le dernier roi ne sera pas étranglé avec les entrailles du dernier prêtre.

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.

Though the apparent original is good too.

Je ne veux ni donner ni recevoir de lois.
Et ses mains ourdiraient les entrailles du prêtre,
Au défaut d'un cordon pour étrangler les rois.

I seek neither to rule nor to serve.
And its hands would weave the entrails of the priest,
For the lack of a cord with which to strangle kings.

The second line from the US declaration of indpenedce is a banger too:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

John Brown's:

I cannot remember a night so dark as to have hindered the coming day.

Is also really good.

Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill.

"Black Friday Sale! This Thursday only!".

Despite all our accomplishments, we all own our existence to a 6 inch layer of topsoil and the fact that it rains.

I found it somewere on the Internet and can Not forget it.

Spoken, not written:-

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly

This isn't the greatest sentence, this is just a tribute.

"It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times...stupid monkey!"

We apologize for the inconvenience.

You have nothing to loose but your chains

"The man in black fled across the desert, and the Gunslinger followed."

"The man in black fled into the desert, and the gunslinger followed"

• opening line for the Dark Tower novels by Stephen King, which is an absolutely phenomenal series that blends western and sci-fi elements with just a tad of fantasy and horror for flavor.

The cost of living is dying, and everyone pays.

"He who fights monsters must see that he doesn't become a monster himself. For when you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you."

Friedrich Nietzsche

It's over 9000!

Men make their own history, but they do not make it as they please; they do not make it under self-selected circumstances, but under circumstances existing already, given and transmitted from the past.

• Karl Marx, The 18th Brumaire of Louis Bonaparte

Perhaps the best, most succinct explanation of historical materialism.

love that with such a broad sample pool, what we get here are some quips, in English, from the last few decades

If you're gonna be stupid, be smart about it.

*Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?"

I think we are at that point again but with “AI”.

"Money can't buy happiness, but it's better to cry in a taxi than on a bus." - Marcel Reich-Ranicki (German literary critic)

I changed the last word in the translation to bus for the US readers. It should be tram or streetcar but I assumed bus is more common and widely known.

Be good...or be good at it.

In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god's blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence.

Cellar door.

Hand me that piano.

Mrs. Higgins’ body was found in the pantry, bludgeoned with a potato ricer and lying atop a fifty-pound sack of Yukon golds, her favorite for making gnocchi, though some people consider them too moist for this purpose.

-Joel Phillips

https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/about

All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

“Let every dirty, lousy tramp arm himself with a revolver or a knife, and lay in wait on the steps of the palaces of the rich and stab or shoot the owners as they come out.”

- Lucy Parsons

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

Never half ass two things, instead whole ass one thing.

"Welcome to Costco, I love you"

"I have a hawk and it's trained to kill cops"

The problem is, or rather one of the problems, for there are many, a sizeable proportion of which are continually clogging up the civil, commercial, and criminal courts in all areas of the Galaxy, and especially, where possible, the more corrupt ones, this.

“ The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” -Teddy Roosevelt

Peoplez iz Peoplez.

Quote from the Muppets.

It has not been written yet. But it will be soon. Look in the obituary sections.

"Elaine, if I'd a knowed that you'd a wanted to went, I'd a seen that you'd a got to get to go."

"A traveller from an antique land who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone stand in the desert."

OZYMANDIAS

• PERCY BYSSHE SHELLEY

These words have ways stuck with me, reminding me of the rest of the poem, but mainly reminding me that even vast, expensive and truly effortful things that many once cared about will eventually decay and become forgotten. Similar to the other post that this too shall pass.

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"

Proper Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance

Being a person, even though you're just a blob of goo, is the most profound thing you could ever do.

No.

Hold my beer!

The end.

I can't imagine I've read enough to know that but have always loved this one, from St Augustine, of all people.

Dance is a transformation of space, of time, of people, who are in constant danger of becoming all brain, will, or feeling.

The whole poem is amazing.

I think, therefore I am.

-Descartes

αἴκα

"The course of human progress staggers like a drunk"

-- Freeze Up by Operation Ivy (1989)

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

Shakespeare

"I ain't afeared a going where I never been after." -Mountain Jack from Grizzly Adams

Personally I think the golden rule, it has many variations.

e.g. What you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others.

Then another is from V for Vendetta

Beneath this mask, there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask, there is an idea, Mr Creedy. And ideas are bullet-proof!

I also would say Hayes Carll, in the American Dream song (though it's partly the delivery)

"Nothing changes, even if it wants to."

Even through the darkest day, this fire burns, always.

This, too, shall pass.

"The end."

No.

You either die a hero, or you live long enough to become the villain.

"When you're here, you're family" (Fast and the Furious)