When you're kind to people or simply are polite, they help you.

I used to do a lot of driving for work and it's important to manage stress in traffic. Whenever someone would do something that aggravated me, I'd pretend that they did it for some silly reason and it helped me stay calm.

Someone cut you off? They must have have to shit so bad. Someone driving crazy fast? They're trying to get to their wife before their girlfriend does.

Whenever someone is doing, or is about to do, something stupid, simply say out loud what they're doing, and ask what they want to happen.

If you don't want to go outside, put on sunscreen. Might as well go outside now so as not to waste it.

1. When I have a thought I don't want, i hum a little tune

2. When I feel bad about something happening right now I remind myself that no feeling is forever, everything is temporary, there's always a tomorrow

3. When I feel bad about something that happened in the past I remind myself that happened to me, that I transcended it, and it doesn't define me, but allowed me to make better choices in future

4. I swapped alcohol and soda for seltzer

Just tell yourself you're not going to lift heavy/are going to lift light. When you don't have the motivation (or whatever) to go to the gym, tell yourself this. Like, "I'm not going to work too hard. It'll be easy." Works a treat. Then even if you end up doing that (which is unlikely - I always end up getting in the mood hehe) then at least you did something and kept the momentum.

Edit to say: The hardest lift is getting off the couch.

"never leave a room empty-handed" if you are leaving a room look around for something that doesn't below to that room take it with you and just move it somewhere close where it's supposed to be, eventually it's going to find it's place.

I do method acting, like "in this next scene I am going to play an extrovert who enjoys making small talk at professional conferences with potential customers and employers"

If someone is using rhetorical questions in a discussion, answer them earnestly. If you're not a prick about it it's a great way to defuse a heated debate sometimes.

Cleaning when I feel bad. Getting rid of physical things is a substitute for getting rid of mental things. Clean outside = clean(er) inside.

If you're overthinking or worried about something you can't control, other than something like planning for contingency, all that overthinking is pointless. Worse than pointless, since it adds stress and anxiety. There's usually zero real benefit.

It takes practice, but being able to say to yourself "well, I'll deal with that when it happens. No point in worrying about that now, " helps keep you out of the doom loop.

I just tell myself nothing really matters and we are going to die anyway, this really cheers me up, else I'd be too worried about all the shit going on.

Go to therapy and work on yourself deliberately for years and years. It works. I was super messed up and hateful and angry and I would never have believed that I could love myself, but I do.

I know "cheat code" implies quick or easy or both and this isn't either one, but it's life changing if you do it.

When I can't find something in the house after searching for a few minutes, I make a conscious decision to give up and take another approach - go buy the missing tool again, use a different material, whatever. The point is to decide it doesn't matter where the thing is. Most of the time I immediately look right at whatever I was looking for - as in within a few seconds. Family members are used to hearing me say out loud, "I'm just gonna go to Tru-Value and get another - Oh, here it is!" It works that fast and is very reliable.

My theory about this is that part of my brain knows where the item is all along, but enjoys the treasure hunt and won't let the information come to the conscious level. But once I sincerely decide to give up the search - it has to be a genuine decision, there's no faking it - that part of my brain knows the game is over and reveals where the thing is. But who knows, I'm no psychologist.

Be kind to your future self.

Helps me when I feel like procrastinating or overworking.

Better, there's an entire book of them. "Dialectical Behavioral Therapy" (DBT) calls them "skills", but they could just as easily be called psychological cheat codes or lifehacks.

If you notice something needs to be done and the task takes less than five minutes, just do it.

If you look a little angry all the time nobody guesses that you're actually stoned as balls.

When talking to people, just ask open questions about them, listen and keep asking question. People will think, you have great conversation skills, eventhough you do not.

Do only as much as I feel like. Don't feel like making dinner, but i'm ok just setting out the ingredients. OK, now I'm fine with just chopping vegetables. Now I'm fine just making the sauce. It only works if you genuinely allow yourself to stop at any point. If I have to stop after the sauce, everything goes into the fridge and I finish making the meal tomorrow.

Kindness and understanding first and foremost, always. But when dealing with uppity assholes in a situation where you are right, first remind yourself that nearly all adults are just faking it to get by, then start making direct eye contact, make every statement crisp, concise, and do not use any "partial" words {words like guess, sort of, possibly, might be, probably, etc) and when you've said what needs to be said stop talking, keep making eye contact, and focus on the idea that there is no other way than the way you just said. Don't be hostile, don't be insulting, smug, or anything other than resolute. Never break that silence first.

Most of the time, that will get you through, either by convincing everyone else that the issue is ended, or if any of these people are that rare adult who legit has their shit together, they will either move things along or engage you directly to work out a solution.

Confidence is one of the rare things that if you lie about it really well, it becomes truth.

This isn't some alpha thing, it's about removing unnecessary doubt. Sometimes that's more dangerous/costly/wasteful than anything else.

Amphetamines

If you're autistic, look between the eyes while talking.

If you're doing sets of ten, restart your internal count to zero when you get to five. It's way easier to get yourself to hit your third rep than your eighth.

Two minute rule. If you can do it in two minutes, just do it.

Being nice to people. You come out of interactions feeling better, and you often get more out of people by being nice.

After I come home from work, I want to be a solid lump of nothing. Instead to trick myself when I have tasks I need to do, I keep my work clothes on (including shoes) and it helps trick my brain that the tasks are just a continuation of my work day.

Not techniques I use personally, but different forms of manipulation that one could (but shouldn't) use. You should look out for:

1. Informing someone of a fact that is different than what the recipient actually experienced. If they question it, tell them they just forgot it. This works best on people who don't write stuff down (like a diary).
2. Giving someone a gift out of nowhere. To most people, this gives them the feeling that they owe you.
3. Helping someone frequently to the point where they start relying on you. (See previous point)

A few manipulation techniques that should not be used. If you see someone doing these things, assume they have an ulterior motive.

Any_Austin is a youtuber and pilot who uses a pilot's checklist

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IMSAFE

In his everyday life to help him understand why he's feeling bad or grumpy. He talked about it in his podcast with Memoria.

I make my bed every day. At least I'm consistent with that. I started doing that when I read about elderly people in the newspaper many years ago.

One person they interviewed was a black lady in her 80s. She said that her secret to long life was consistency. When she was a kid, her mother taught her to make her bed every day. So she made her bed every day, and was consistent with things.

When I think of something that happened during the day that was cringeworthy I tell myself, “You are so stupid!!”

When I catch myself doing that I now stop and say to myself, “No you’re not.”

Oddly, this derails the shame spiral and allows me to stay positive.

I've always had a very active sense of humor, and am usually able to find something funny about virtually anything.

I'm not suggesting going around giggling inappropriately at whatever happens to be in front of you like the Joaquin Phoenix Joker, but I know being able to find something that amuses me about even the darkest, most difficult stuff in life has been of immense help to me personally.

Whenever one of my relatives says something really ignorant to me (which is often), instead of getting into a pointless argument, I just blow it off by imagining them like a yapping little dog behind a fence.

I tell people what's going on for me and in my life.

When working security / event safety and I’d have to request a member of the public stop doing something I’d speak to them and then I’d disconnect my ears while maintaining eye contact - I just nod along to the pair of bumping gums opposite me until they stop. Then I’d repeat what had to be said. Most times things got resolved.

Open requests with “would you be willing to.” Works every time.

I can be pretty direct (I'm Dutch lol what can I say), so I've learned to follow it up with something like "is that OK?" or "does that sound good to you?"

"It wouldn't be on the menu if less than 99% of people didn't like it"

It might not literally be true, but it helps me order new foods.

smile, show up and act like you belong. even if you don't people will assume you do. if you want to join in, all you need to do is find the right person to ask.

i joined my first professional band that way. looked up [specific genre] bands in my area, found a few, looked up which one was the best, called up the director, showed up to practice, auditioned in and was their new [let's pretend i play upright bass. i actually do, but last time i played one a tuning peg flew across the damn room. i also suck at it. so i was not playing upright bass with them] specialist. favorite band i ever played with.

it's one of those "walk in and give a firm handshake and you'll get a job" bullshit advice things. I had good timing, they were looking for someone who specialized in what i do (they had a specialist who moved away a year prior and they were noticing the difference) but they were the only ones i've played with that did all the frills and trills.

If you want a clear answer/decision for something (instead of "whatever", "don't care") give two alternatives, the other simply has to choose one. If you only give one, the other might feel pressured/manipulated.

Think in softer language. Things you "should" do, or things that are "duties" might not give you the internal reward you deserve for accomplishing them, and almost certainly cause more mental suffering than you deserve. You can still recognize good (or at least better) decisions and goals, but using softer language makes it easier to give yourself grace for not having the strength to try, the recognition of effort when you try but fail, and the appreciation when you actually succeed.

Honestly, I think that helps me more than anything else my therapist ever suggested. Though maybe not as much as the prescription I received from my provider. My worst days are when I forget to apply that.

I have anxiety and there's a switch I mentally flip. So when I first started working with the public again, I would sweat so bad. It would cause me to be even more nervous, because I must look nasty, right?

About six months into my new job and now having to be a manager that still has associate duties (for some reason), there was this click. I didn't care what people thought about me. I HAD to keep this job. I stopped pushing myself to run from one place to another.

Every now and then, I'll catch myself worrying about people and workplace politics and I'll switch it off. The sweating stops, I move more confidently, but I still maintain courtesy. Not because I'm rushing to do it now, but because it just has to be that way.

I let negative criticism from my abusive environment roll off me. I don't worry about being terminated. Because the work I provide is triple the output of a normal associate and, yes, they could replace me, but it would be a shitshow to do it.

So, the moral of the story is, stop caring about what people think of you. Don't take every comment to heart. Free yourself from the societal hierarchy. It's not easy, but if a little ball of anxiety and depression like me can do it, so can you.

Imagine a physical switch. It can be anything- a lightswitch, a button, a lever. Pull that switch when you feel pressured or overwhelmed. You might have a few fails, but it will eventually succeed.

Not caring what other people think.

I'm so far gone that I just totally don't understand how this is the major concern for most other people about everything they do. Often to the point of self-harm and self-misery.

But when I talk to people like this it just is a constant reminder how much happier I am than they are, especially when they try to paint me as being miserable for not caring about their opinion that my curtains don't have a high enough thread count or whatever weird thing they are agonizing about.

No screen time first and last half hour of the day, it makes a huge difference.

Also, my phone is far away from me when I go to sleep, though that one is preference but it does help to not think about things I could search online

When something bad or annoying happens to me and I'm in a shitty mood, I say (out loud or whisper to myself) "This is the worst thing that's ever happened to anybody!" and I usually instantly get over myself

I think it is stupid to lie about little things. It takes too much effort in every day life - so it's easier to not over share and boast about stupid things.

You will have to keep track of those anc that's just work for no gain. Because lies never feels like a real achievement, and eventually you will be found out.

If you decide to make up a lie - think it through and look for weak spots and illogical parts. Do the work upfront so the stress is off your shoulder.

I have a personal motivational tool I call "dopamine starve and reward". Basically avoiding things that give a false feeling of accomplishment and allowing myself to feel good when something has been accomplished. It's handy for big projects around the house. Number one is to not talk about what I plan to do (starve) until I've actually taken a big step (reward). Another is to not buy everything i need right off the bat (starve) instead buying materials as I need them (reward). This notion came to me after working for a small family business. The owners would have a project in mind, go buy all the materials, drop them off then go have lunch at the bar and talk about all the stuff they were going to do. Then nothing would get done. I saw this in myself and learned to avoid false feelings of accomplishment

Adderall

I never want to go for a walk in the morning, but I must do. Once I get out the door, I'm fine.

So, I sing this song, "Put one foot in front of the other" from Santa Clause is Coming to Town. I learned it from the TV show when I was very young. My mom used it to motivate me to get going. I've used it my whole life to do the same.

https://youtu.be/-hSUBBhlVn8

I don't know if this is cheat code or not but I try to be kind to the people above me, like my seniors, my teachers (not my parents though). Acting politely, trying to appreciate their work, seems to leave a good impression. It helped me in little tasks but I have yet to see how much it works further.

Pain is just weakness leaving the body, so stabbing oneself in the arm with a fork does wonders

Simply choose to care or not. It works best when you dont trust your own feelings anyway due to living with loads of mental illness, fuck 'em and substitute them with your ones of your choosing. Dishes and laundry is important now. Horny is not. Etc.