Choose wisely!

3 years ago by Wolf Link 🐺 to c/lemmyshitpost

(shamelessly stolen from an imgur dump)

zeppo 290 points 3 years ago

I’m going to take the free gravel and 7 inch teleportation. The gravel is a valuable commodity which can be sold. 7 inches is enough to get through any doorway.

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AeroLemming 218 points 3 years ago
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atlasraven31 25 points 3 years ago

The scifi book Battlefield Earth uses teleportion as a means of propulsion. The teleportation gives fighter planes a defensive and offensive advantage.

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Holyhandgrenade 11 points 3 years ago

By far the least crazy idea L. Ron Hubbard ever had

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nogrub 7 points 3 years ago

but when i see a pill it kinda seems like a one use kinda thing

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papalonian 39 points 3 years ago

Feel like these are definitely permanent status effects

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Rolando 13 points 3 years ago

I thought this was like the Matrix, it gives you that ability.

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Kase 1 point 3 years ago

Maybe you gotta take a pill every time you want to teleport

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Rai 5 points 3 years ago

Does the teleportation create an exact copy of you and destroy who you are, or does it just move you exactly and rebuild your brain perfectly so you’re exactly the you you were before the teleport?

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CeruleanRuin 2 points 3 years ago

Personally it would work the same as when you move through space by conventional means.

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nUbee 4 points 3 years ago path: 0 5337471 5337608 5339693, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
I_Has_A_Hat 60 points 3 years ago
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NewDark 42 points 3 years ago

I want to imagine the real world would freak the fuck out the way some objects in a game engine do when you mash them together.

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Fridgeratr 27 points 3 years ago

Instant nuclear fusion explosion

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BowtiesAreCool 15 points 3 years ago

Nah there’s enough space between atoms, they’ll just converge into perfect matrix of flesh and door

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bingbong 9 points 3 years ago

So it's a pretty good super power then

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danwardvs 5 points 3 years ago

I’m hearing GMod/Source clunking sounds.

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Rolando 13 points 3 years ago

Ok wiseguy:

  • hold 8 inch icicle up to someone's head
  • teleport 7 inches forward
  • "we can't figure out what killed em!"
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zeppo 8 points 3 years ago

I was going to squinch up real tight every time and only teleport through glass doors

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Frozengyro 16 points 3 years ago

That's how you lose your butt

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zeppo 6 points 3 years ago

What happens though? It just gets cut off?

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someguy3 3 points 3 years ago

This was my thought.

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Kase 2 points 3 years ago

If you can make sure it's just your nose that gets stuck, then pair it up with pill #4, you'll be good. Hope that helps lol

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Cheesus 1 point 3 years ago
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TheRaven 35 points 3 years ago

7 inches is enough to get you mostly through a doorway.

Doors are about 1.5 inches thick. The average chest depth of an American male is 11.5 inches.

Teleporting yourself 7 inches forward would put a door 7 inches from your front and 3 inches from your back. You would have to only be 5.5 inches deep in order to make it entirely through the doorway without merging with the door.

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zeppo 14 points 3 years ago

It depends how exactly it works. If it's the very front of my body moves forward 7 inches, yeah, that's not great. I was hoping for measuring from the center or something. What happens if i overlap something, anyway? Nuclear fusion?

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Decoy321 31 points 3 years ago

It wouldn't matter what part of your body moves if your whole body retains its shape (as in, doesn't stretch or deform in any way). If you stay the same shape, you moving 7" means the whole of you (front, middle, and back) moving 7".

If your body stretched during teleport, then you'll probably have other problems aside of the displacement issue.

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TheMauveAvenger 13 points 3 years ago

It matters what part of the body the measurement is tied to for start and finish. If it has to be the same point on the body then it's a problem, but if the anchor point can change then there are greater possibilities.

I can put my hand on the door and extend my foot backwards. If my hand is the anchor point to start and my foot is the anchor point to end, then certain parts of my body have teleported more than 7", but in the aggregate at least one part of my whole body is always within a 7" distance from anchor to anchor. That would mean I could teleport my whole body through any solid item that is less than 7" thick.

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joyjoy 0 points 3 years ago
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SadTrain 8 points 3 years ago

Too bad your clothes stay on the other side. I guess you can try to teleport out of county lockup too

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mosiacmango 18 points 3 years ago

Cops dont even show up to actual crimes. Aint no one grabbing the naked dude blipping in and out of reality as they pass through walls.

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kibiz0r 15 points 3 years ago

If your clothes stay behind, then what else does?

Dirt, dust, dead skin? Oils? Gut bacteria? Dental fillings? Food you just ate? Oxygen in your lungs? Oxygen in your blood? Implants for sure, right? What about hair, or nails?

I can imagine a scenario where someone tries this ability for the first time only to wind up naked, perfectly clean-shaven, bleeding profusely from every orifice and extremity, breathless and doubled over in pain, convulsing on a pile of shit, hair and other gross, getting their back sliced open by disembodied toenails.

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Buddahriffic 8 points 3 years ago

And do you swap places with matter at your destination or just fit your pieces around and into whatever is already there?

If you don't swap, you could end up with air in your blood stream and bacteria and fungal spores everywhere. And a chance of nuclear fusion depending on how close atoms end up to each other. And if it can fuck with things at a nuclear level, it will also fuck with them at a chemical and structural level.

Or if you do swap, it becomes a powerful weapon where you just pop into someone's body, putting the parts of them you overlap with where you used to be, then you just pop back out in a different spot. Bank vault door is too thick? Just teleport multiple times and you'll get through safely as long as you can remain pretty still while going through it. If you can constantly teleport a tiny distance, you might be impervious to all attacks because stuff would get swapped before it impacts you, but that "might" is doing a lot of lifting. Though you probably also wouldn't be able to hear sound, so you would be vulnerable when having conversations or listening to music.

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zeppo 5 points 3 years ago

What this comes down to is too few details. The fine print definitely matters

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theneverfox 6 points 3 years ago

Free gravel is a clear winner... If there's no limits, you could straight up build artificial islands, you could destroy cities... It's a legit super power. Hell, unless there's extreme limits that make it worthless, you could do a lot.

Teleporting is tempting, and if you could use it fast enough you could fly or at least walk at insane speeds... Depending on the limits, I'd take that over gravel

But any toaster? That's a brain computer interface right there. Even if it's one way, and you have to do it manually and pay for power? With 30 toasters you could type anything. You could learn stenography to do it faster. Or, if you could manipulate toasters past their capabilities, you could generate infinite power or burn down entire cities

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MBM 1 point 3 years ago

For the gravel, I assumed it meant that any place that sells gravel is forced to give it to you for free. Still really powerful, but you have to think about the logistics.

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electrogamerman 2 points 3 years ago

still OP. Now I control all gravel in the world.

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MTK 2 points 3 years ago

Also if you can telelport but leave your poop behind think how easy pooping would be!

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circuitfarmer 157 points 3 years ago
  • Resell my free gravel for huge profits

  • Have a great street magic trick where I ask the spectator to empty a single container out of many with my back turned, but I can always pick out which one

I'll be Cris Angel, Gravel King

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BlemboTheThird 25 points 3 years ago

Redmond and blutarch are gonna be SEETHING when I collapse the gravel industry

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funnystuff97 6 points 3 years ago

-Grey Mann

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Kase 112 points 3 years ago

Why is everyone choosing whatever pill(s) they want to and describing what they'd do with it?

The instructions explicitly say you can only pick 2. Everyone gets gravel. Smh.

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Atomic 80 points 3 years ago

2 and 3 easy.

Free gravel for life. So I have an endless supply of product I can sell for profit? Yes please.

And I see no time-limit on the teleportation. 7 inches at a time. Sure. But what stops me from instantly teleporting another 7 inches? And who says I can only do it horizontally. Pretty much giving me the ability to fly here. I'll take it.

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empireOfLove 70 points 3 years ago

Options 2 and 3.

Free gravel, assuming that means it just sort of appears where I want it in as much volume as i want, means I can simply create a massive stockpile of it in a very convenient location for construction projects and sell it by the yard for literally free money. Or sell it directly and conjure it up right where the foreman wants it.

Teleporting 7 inches is enough to pass through most doors which are less than 2" thick. That is infinitely more useful than you think it is....

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Selmafudd 34 points 3 years ago

The teleport one if it has no cool down could be used to fly, just keep using it

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samus12345 25 points 3 years ago

If it stops velocity it would also be useful for dropping long distances without dying. A little like Mario doing a butt-stomp just before he hits the ground in Mario 64.

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Sotuanduso 4 points 3 years ago

MLG teleport clutch.

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x4740N 3 points 3 years ago

Could just also use it to travel any speed too if it stops velocity

You could put on an astronauts suit and warp across space

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merc 3 points 3 years ago

Theoretically it could be used to travel, but "realistically" it probably couldn't. Even if it's an ability that's as easy to activate as blinking, a typical blink lasts 1/3 of a second. If you can teleport 4x per second, you can only move at 28 inches per second, which is slower than walking speed. If you did it while you were running you could theoretically add 28 inches per second to your speed, but that would only increase your speed by about 10%.

It seems unlikely you could use the ability hundreds of times per second, because there really isn't much that you can do intentionally hundreds of times per second.

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empireOfLove 3 points 3 years ago

Physics teachers hate this one simple trick

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samus12345 25 points 3 years ago

Doors may not be that thick, but you're thicker than 7 inches even if you're skinny. So you'd end up with part of your back inside the door.

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IndefiniteBen 14 points 3 years ago

But then you haven't travelled 7 inches. If you want to measure how far someone has travelled, you measure the distance from a body part in one position to the same body part in the second position. If you measure from the back of the foot in one position why would you measure to the front of the foot in the other position?

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CrzyRusski 17 points 3 years ago

Ammm, that proves that you'll likely end up in the door. If you stand facing the door and measure 7 inches from the back of the foot towards the door, you likely won't pass the door.

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IndefiniteBen 6 points 3 years ago

Right. I seem to have confused myself.

Also another point is that it says "up to" 7 inches. Who knows if that distance is a choice or random.

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Zeshade 7 points 3 years ago

If a door is 2 inches thick and thickest part of your body is the length of your foot in inches, let's say 11 inches which Google tells me is a reasonable length for a man's foot, then to travel far enough into the direction of the door so that the back of your foot ends up on the other side of the door, you'd need to travel 11+2 inches.

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samus12345 3 points 3 years ago

Depends on how it's measured. I was supposing a position at the center of your mass being used, but there are no guidelines to go by. Guess you just have to take the pill and see how it works! Personally, I'd pick something else unless I had a way to verify how it worked beforehand.

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empireOfLove 3 points 3 years ago

Speak for yourself. How do you know I'm not a 2-dimensional lifeform?

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samus12345 4 points 3 years ago

Must be difficult to eat!

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Sotuanduso 1 point 3 years ago

Just teleport again. What could go wrong?

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samus12345 1 point 3 years ago
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surewhynotlem 6 points 3 years ago

Speak for yourself. I'm more than 7" thick. I'm not making it through a sheet of paper.

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Mouselemming 5 points 3 years ago

As long as you maintain a personal diameter of <5 inches. If not, some door will trim it for you.

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bhamlin 1 point 3 years ago

some door will trim it for you.

Hang on, let's hear him out...

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Imgonnatrythis 2 points 3 years ago

Cath here is that if you teleport accidentally into an object that object becomes a part of you.

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RGB3x3 6 points 3 years ago

So I just become a Katamari?

Fine by me.

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Imgonnatrythis 6 points 3 years ago

You can do this already without the pill, you are just limited to objects that are somewhat sharp.

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samus12345 4 points 3 years ago

rolls around on a floor full of tacks

"Ha-ha, (ouch) na, na-na (ouch) na-na (ouch) na-na (ouch) na-na, (ouch) Kata(ouch)mari Dama(ouch)cy!"

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Pulptastic 1 point 3 years ago

Ba baaaaa bababadabada

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merc 1 point 3 years ago

Not just doors. Many walls are thinner than that. Any window or glass wall, even reinforced bulletproof ones, immediately become an entrance and exit. You could presumably walk into Fort Knox, grab a few bars of gold and walk back out. If you're arrested, no jail could hold you.

You could easily be the most famous magician alive, doing impossible escapes from sealed boxes, or disappearing by teleporting 7 inches into a hollow but completely sealed object.

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Entertainmeonly 48 points 3 years ago

3 and 7 💯. I'm breaking into all the places.

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kpaniz 29 points 3 years ago
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bustrpoindextr 6 points 3 years ago

It's just a big container

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MisterFrog 1 point 3 years ago
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Infynis 11 points 3 years ago

Exactly. One power lets you see if it's safe, and the second one teleports you into the space you know to be empty.

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Squeak 4 points 3 years ago

What’s the point in breaking in if it’s empty? How empty does it need to be? Does it need to be a vacuum or does air still count as empty?

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deegeese 1 point 3 years ago

Most walls are more than 7 inches thick. You’d just get stuck.

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Entertainmeonly 2 points 3 years ago

Doors exist.

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deegeese 1 point 3 years ago
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SCB 44 points 3 years ago

Free gravel for life. Just become a gravel wholesaler. Corner the market instantly.

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dual_sport_dork 41 points 3 years ago

Depending on the fine print that comes with these powers, some of them could be significantly less useless than they appear.

For instance, "look 10 hours younger." Always, or can you do this on command? Can do you it on command more than once? Does the effect stack? Does it include your clothes? Etc. Because if it for example includes your clothes and/or makeup, you could use this to disguise yourself pretty elaborately, or equip yourself with a lot of stuff about your person in advance, then take it off and show up anywhere up to 10 hours later and conjure that stuff out of the air. Imagine the Matrix lobby scene, except you don't have to set off the metal detector on your way through.

Infinite gravel could be pretty OP if you can conjure it at a fast rate, and especially so if you can conjure it at a remote location. Like, above your enemy's head. Or inside his vehicle. Etc. Even if it's just some kind of deal where you present your magic coupon at the Gravel Depot, you could corner the world's supply. There are a lot of roads that need building in the world.

Or if your 7" teleportation range has no cooldown period, you could just chain-teleport pretty much anywhere that doesn't require passing through anything thicker than 7". That's tantamount to flight or super speed running, but you could do it without removing your asscheeks from your chair. Or depending on how the telefrag rules work, you could cause a lot of damage to anyone or anything you wanted by just teleporting through taking 7" bites out of your target each time.

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justlookingfordragon 34 points 3 years ago

#7 could be useful for gambling - when you can see into one container but not the other, you instantly know which one has the prize in it.

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JoMiran 16 points 3 years ago

Due to a recent Supreme Court ruling certain areas classified as wet land by the US Corp of Engineers are no longer under build restriction. To make them buildable they need fill. A few million tons of gravel fill seems like something someone would pay a lot of money for.

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someguy3 9 points 3 years ago

What really? Great let's take away flood protection.

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JoMiran 5 points 3 years ago

Yeah, it's crazy. A couple from Idaho took the EPA to court and won. Wetlands not adjacent to bodies of water are no longer federally protected.

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Caboose 2 points 3 years ago

If you think about it, if looking 10 hours younger was constant, you basically created eternal youth. I'd say that's pretty great.

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BigBlackCockroach 1 point 3 years ago

you can't teleport through things because you are thicker than 7"

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Clbull 41 points 3 years ago

2 and 3 without question.

You'd make ludicrous money from the construction industry with an unlimited supply of gravel, while being able to teleport 7 inches would be useful for break-ins.

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captain_aggravated 31 points 3 years ago

Well if I can only pick #2 I guess I'm gonna get free gravel.

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lime_red 8 points 3 years ago

clap

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Daft_ish 4 points 3 years ago

Dude all I'm thinking about is redoing my driveway. All these other people are looking to be gravel tycoons.

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captain_aggravated 3 points 3 years ago

Yeah do you get like a choice of gravel? Because I've got a bluestone driveway that's in piss poor condition, so being able to pick the matching flavor would be really convenient.

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shifted_drifter 30 points 3 years ago

2 and 7. Free gravel? Sign me up that shit's expensive. And I think another way to interpret 7 is that you can instantly tell whether any closed container is empty or not, since you can only see into empty containers.

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janAkali 29 points 3 years ago

Free gravel it is 😒. Why would someone make a quiz with no choice ?!

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faintwhenfree 7 points 3 years ago

Sell free gravel you got Gravel to construction companies by the ton.

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itsgroundhogdayagain 25 points 3 years ago

Does the gravel have to be delivered or does it appear out of thin air?

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Tar_alcaran 9 points 3 years ago

It comes out of your nose

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superduperenigma 12 points 3 years ago

That second nose might be useful after all

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Poiar 4 points 3 years ago

Can one decide where to grow it? I'd rather it not be on my face. I think the butt crack would be the most inconspicuous place, however it might not be inactive.

Decisions decisions..

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x4740N 25 points 3 years ago

2 and 3

Assuming I have the ability to Summon free gravel

I could use it for all sorts of things such as making money, using it as a throwing weapon, etcetera

With the teleportation I could just chain I and travel to any country while maintaining a safe speed limit for my body during transition in and out of teleporting

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zipzoopaboop 9 points 3 years ago

Yeah no contest. Gravel can be sold, can teleport through walls or doors

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halfeatenpotato 6 points 3 years ago

Whoa whoa, the gift is getting free gravel for life. Wanting to summon it is just getting greedy

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LesserAbe 4 points 3 years ago

Free gravel has to come from somewhere, it's functionally equivalent to summoning it. (Although it could be one of those asshole genie things where they're like "I didn't say how much free gravel)

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Krauerking 1 point 3 years ago

I truly expect with the wording of the rest of this that you need to fill out like a requisition form for the gravel each time you want more.

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Rhllor 1 point 3 years ago

3 is just like diablo 2 sorcs just with more button spamming

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Crap_your_hands 25 points 3 years ago

Definetly 2. You can make millions with that shit.

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Nepenthe 23 points 3 years ago

8 and 9.

I figure I can either make bank lending the anthropologists/archeologists a hand with an extinct language, or at least have a bunch of fun bringing it back to life as a personal hobby.

And really? No one's picking nine? Have any of you seen Albert Einstein's calves? He biked regularly. If it turns out I can outrun him now, that won't always be the case as my sedentary ass ages.

No matter how crap my skeleton becomes, I'm giving myself an automatic default level of movement that isn't all that shabby

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WigglyTortoise 15 points 3 years ago

Albert Einstein is dead. You couldn't run at all.

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Rolando 8 points 3 years ago
  • steal corpse of Albert Einstein
  • hook it up to exoskeleton
  • make it run E=mc^2^ miles per hour
  • take the pill

Problem?

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RojoSanIchiban 2 points 3 years ago

make it run E=mc^2^ miles per hour

You just converted the energy of Einstein's corpse to mass. It increases in weight by a billionth of a gram or so and you're now paraplegic.

Also, you failed high school physics.

/sorry

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Buddahriffic 3 points 3 years ago

Or they just converted the mass to energy and can run at relativistic speeds. Which sounds cool until you understand that the equations involved in that would include things like "probability of fission" and "blast radius".

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BananaPeal 2 points 3 years ago

Pretty sure that was intended as troll physics.

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IlliteratiDomine 1 point 3 years ago

You've got it all backwards. Einstein's corpse is now energy and fast AF.

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SnipingNinja 2 points 3 years ago

Probably because you can just take teleportation instead

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Nepenthe 1 point 3 years ago

Bedridden, trying not to attract the attention of the government as I slowly teleport my 99yr old fail body a couple inches at a time towards the bathroom instead of being able to get up and jog.

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Kase 2 points 3 years ago

Tbf, it says you can run as fast as Einstein, but it doesn't say you'll have the same endurance

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adaveinthelife 23 points 3 years ago

2 and 7, obviously. Good luck anyone carrying an empty box within my vicinity.

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dangblingus 22 points 3 years ago
  1. No stipulations on how frequently I can teleport 7". Like, can't I just teleport 7" constantly and very quickly? Also, sounds like I could probably use this ability to fly.
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FilthyShrooms 6 points 3 years ago

Unfortunately, teleporting doesn't reset your velocity. You can start flying, but good luck landing without a parachute

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ouRKaoS 4 points 3 years ago

If I start from standing still, I'd have zero velocity, so landing wouldn't be a problem.

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brianorca 2 points 3 years ago

As soon as you leave the ground, you start gaining downward velocity every millisecond that you don't teleport. Eventually, that velocity will exceed the distance you can teleport no matter how often per second you can do it. Then you hit the ground quite painfully.

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Kase 1 point 3 years ago

Damn. Maybe #2 would help so you can give yourself a soft(ish) landing, assuming it means you can summon gravel at will

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hoshikarakitaridia 2 points 3 years ago

If teleportation is instant you can still kind of cheat and be faster than the ouchie speed

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megopie 20 points 3 years ago

Gravel is a very important construction aggregate.

Although it depends on the mechanics for how useful 2 would be. Does the gravel just like appear near you? Is there just a guy who gives you bags of gravel? Do you have to go to a specific location to get it? Is there a limit to the through put? What’s the volume of output of the gravel. what type of gravel is it? Could it be processed for other minerals?

Like, free gravel sounds pretty damn awesome based on the mechanics.

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Emerald 20 points 3 years ago

Teleport and spam it. Go hundreds of miles an hour

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Taringano 20 points 3 years ago

Imagine being able to generate gravel over every single road crack and never fixed hole.

Amazing.

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Imgonnatrythis 11 points 3 years ago

You can't generate it man. You fill out a form and put a postage stamp on it and then they give you a shipping date and you still have to pay for delivery, the gravel itself is of course gratis though.

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dope 2 points 3 years ago
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taiyang 19 points 3 years ago

Everyone is saying 2 for the economic benefits of gravel, but you gotta approach this like a monkeys paw curse. Where is the gravel coming from? Best case it manifests, but physically that's unlikely. Maybe a box of gravel every week like a weird sweepstakes? Again, if you're lucky.

No, in this scenario you get free gravel... in your shoes... every moment of every day and every time you take your shoes off and remove the trace amounts of gravel, the moment you put them back on its there again. Always just enough to annoy you and never when you want it.

Oddly enough I think reviving the lost language is probably the least likely to curse you. I mean, maybe it means you lose something else in your brain (like all the other useless trivia I know and all the names I forget) but you'd probably be able to get recognition from academic linguists enough that you probably could get enough journal submissions out of it to have a modest career at a second rate university somewhere.

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TropicalDingdong 19 points 3 years ago

Bro free gravel4lyfe gang checkin' in

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VieuxQueb 7 points 3 years ago

Gravel for life and see inside empty container. Find all the empty containers to be filled with gravel just by looking around ad sell gravel container's !

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kvinayak99 6 points 3 years ago

I'd just fill any empty container I see with gravel for no reason

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MTK 19 points 3 years ago

2 for money

3 for everything else. Think about it! Assuming you can teleport in any direction as fast as you can think then you can fly, move super fast, dodge any attack, pass through thin barriers (such as fences, thin walls, etc) swim super fast and depending on the rules of this power maybe you can poop really fast by teleporting away but leaving your poop behind!

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captainjaneway 18 points 3 years ago

I'd pick teleport but I'm afraid of the splicing consequences.

I'd rather just see inside empty objects. I'm sure I could use this in some circumstances. Being able to "know" if a box is empty or not could be perceived as super natural. There is probably a lot of money in that. Plus, a lot of gambling opportunities in things like that cup game. What defines a container? That could change things.

Controlling any toaster with my mind is ambiguous. I'll assume it only works on toasters with power. So I can only turn them on/off to make toast. I could use this power to destroy countries. Power draw of a toaster isn't too bad, but every toaster being turned on at the same time might damage an energy sector. It would take a while to debug as well.

I like the free gravel.

I think I'd pick free gravel and... Seeing inside empty objects. Seems like the most profitable with the least chance of a monkeys paw.

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BaroqBard 18 points 3 years ago

Define container; reasonably, a room could be defined as a container. A container of what? And furthermore, define empty! Knowing when something's "empty" has all kinds of applications. That and teleporting, even a few inches could be incredible, especially dependent on how often/quickly you could do it. 3 & 7, hands down

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Siegfried 15 points 3 years ago

3, 7 in is enough to travel through a few mm thick steel wall

7, being able to see through the walls of an actual container can save some time while robbing them

Also,

5, controlling a toaster with your mind is like controlling a pretty impractical relay. Combine it with amateur arduino skills and you can actually control any electro mechanical device with your mind. In that case i would pick 5 and 2. Selling the gravel will pay for the expensive hobby

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FlyingSquid 15 points 3 years ago

Re option 1: I'm assuming it's like when Arthur Dent learned to talk to birds.

[Arthur Dent] learned to communicate with birds and discovered that their conversation was fantastically boring. It was all to do with wind speed, wingspans, power-to-weight ratios, and a fair bit about berries.

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HW07 15 points 3 years ago

Say some phrase in Khitan, then teleport. Become a world-famous magician as no one would believe you're actually teleporting. The Khitan is for the show. Also drive all those people trying to debunk your trick insane.

Plus it'd be incredible for heists, there's no mention of a cooldown so just spam it and piston-translocation glitch your way through some complex.

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AI_toothbrush 14 points 3 years ago

You im gonna do some jojo shit with number 2 and 3. You can drown anyone with gravel or silently kill them by making it appear in their body(lungs, veins, etc). You can also use it as an armor. And with teleportation you can do a lot of small teleportations fast to badically travel with sny speed. And depending on how teleportation is defined you can do op stuff with it.

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Rolando 4 points 3 years ago path: 0 5339553 5339858, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
TheGalacticVoid 14 points 3 years ago

3 and 7. With 3 you can essentially walk through walls, and with 7 you will know exactly which boxes you don't need to check when looking for something.

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Pharmacokinetics 12 points 3 years ago

3 - It doesn't say it has a cool down so you can just spam it and go insanely fast

7 - It will be pretty useful in game shows. You can take a look inside a deck of cards and their order in their box. You know those "find the pebble in the right cup" street hustlers.

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merc 3 points 3 years ago

Why do you think you could find out the order of a deck of cards? You can only see in the box if it's empty.

But, it could be useful for that street hustle... as long as they're not doing the sleight of hand after you pick. You could claim that they were cheating, but people presumably always claim they're cheating.

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RampantParanoia2365 2 points 3 years ago

3 and 7 can work together. Ability to teleport inside any empty container.

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Waraugh 1 point 3 years ago

I bet clothes are containers too, win/lose there

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ICastFist 12 points 3 years ago

I pick 5 to make infinite money.

Step 1 - Buy some used toasters

Step 2 - Rebrand and sell those toasters

Step 3 - Make every toaster that isn't mine fail catastrophically

Step 4 - PROFIT!

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Hedup 11 points 3 years ago

3 and 7

I assume you can chain teleport and thus move pretty fast. Seeing that a container is empty can be useful I imagine.

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Sotuanduso 6 points 3 years ago

Cheat at the cup and pebble game.

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SendMePhotos 3 points 3 years ago

Yes the seeing empty containers still give you information.

Teleporting didn't specify a cooldown.

ZOOM! plus 7 inches is still enough to bypass doors.

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Death_Equity 3 points 3 years ago

Put a ruler on the ground in front of your foot, at the 7 inch mark is where the front of your foot will move to. Sideways and you are stuck in something, forward or backwards and you are stuck in something.

You couldn't even teleport through a sheet of paper unless you were thinner than 7 inches.

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ASeriesOfPoorChoices 3 points 3 years ago

Turn your feet sideways. Sorted.

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themeatbridge 10 points 3 years ago

Where does the nose grow?

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OsrsNeedsF2P 19 points 3 years ago

What possible answer to this question would make you consider it?

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pedro 7 points 3 years ago

Lower back to check your stink

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themeatbridge 2 points 3 years ago

I don't know, but it definitely matters.

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JoMiran 10 points 3 years ago

Easy. 1 and 5.

1 - "Hey friends. Who's had an itchy grain of sand stuck inside? If you open wide I can take it out and put you back.". Profit.

5 - Insurance fraud by burning down vacant homes through "faulty wiring" then suing the manufacturer.

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ThatFembyWho 10 points 3 years ago

speaking an extinct language would actually be realy cool and I could teach it to others.

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andrew 9 points 3 years ago

I at least like the toaster if we assume instantaneous faster than light control. If I can sit and watch a feed of stocks and toggle a buy/sell toaster hooked up to the stock market 250 ms away, I can pretty easily beat the market and make money.

Similarly you could use the empty container rule to have someone communicate with you by toggling the empty state of a container. If you sense/not sense the container you have a reliable binary communication channel and Morse code is pretty viable too. But it's probably best for a predetermined action because you're racing the latency of light here and we're not multiplanetary yet so you've only got hundreds of milliseconds margin to work with. Unless you contract with NASA or anyone yeeting things into space. Build an instrument that can Morse code via empting/filling a container and suddenly voyager can send us instant communication. Combine it with a set of control toasters and that's pretty valuable too.

Teleportation: is there a cool down? Because most places can be teleported to in increments of 7 inches if I can chain them.

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wabafee 9 points 3 years ago

I would probably would go with 1 and 6. I read an article awhile ago they were used to detect quality of water. I would have the ability to further interpretate what is wrong with the water by talking to the oysters. Might make money along the way and save people/ environment at the same time. As for 6 well is for obvious reason.

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KSPAtlas 9 points 3 years ago

Khitan and gravel, khitan would be a boon for linguists and i could help them document it until other people can learn to speak with me, and free gravel could be used to pillar up to places if done fast enough and could potentially clog things

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jitkstra 8 points 3 years ago

3 and 7

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smackjack 8 points 3 years ago

3 could save your life if you get trapped inside your car.

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hakunawazo 8 points 3 years ago

As long as I'm still indecisive could we find out how fast Albert Einstein really was? Maybe for some of us it's still an improvement.

I mean I don't know, but if I google Albert Einstein and speed of light I get many hits.

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curiousaur 8 points 3 years ago

Knowing containers are empty can be valuable.

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PresidentCamacho 7 points 3 years ago

2 and 3 are the obvious choices, however id pick 3 and 5. Here are the only interesting pills available.

(2) You can sell it

(3) that's enough to go through a wall

(5) a smart toaster has a circuit board that you could mcgyver into sending commands outside of itself, allowing ur toaster to be an entry point to computer telepathy.

(6) Would be funny to feed this one to a person who had just died and watch their color come back, really fuck with the autopsy

(9) Instantly cures any physical ailments preventing you from running/walking (unless we mean current albert einstein, in which case corpses cant move.)

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c0mbatbag3l 4 points 3 years ago

So you're telling me cyberpunk 2077 is possible, I just have to learn how to code via telepathy and my cyberdeck is a toaster?

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OutlierBlue 2 points 3 years ago

(3) that’s enough to go through a wall

No it's not. You're more than 7" thick. Even if you got right up against the wall, your nose pressed up against it, the back of your head is maybe 10" away. You teleport 7" and congratulations, you're halfway through a wall.

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qyron 1 point 3 years ago

Most doors will never be locked, at least.

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Kolanaki 7 points 3 years ago

7 is a power your character has in Fallout 4 and Starfield.

I would take 1 and 8. 1 because it'd be cool to talk to animals (even if it's just oysters) and 8 because maybe some oysters still speak Khitan.

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SexualPolytope 7 points 3 years ago
  1. Make bank by selling all that gravel.
  2. I'm breaking into all sorts of places.
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stingpie 4 points 3 years ago

Where would you break in? The only thing I can imagine is like a bank vault, but the doors to those things are crazy thick.

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SexualPolytope 4 points 3 years ago

Supermarkets.

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Fenrisulfir 2 points 3 years ago

I’m sure there’s a lot of houses it might work for. 2x4 studs with half inch sheathing and facade plus half inch drywall is only like 5 inches

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ikidd 7 points 3 years ago

#2 is a farmer's wet dream.

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JackbyDev 7 points 3 years ago

1 and 7. Knowing if things are empty might be marginally useful. Communicating with oysters seems fascinating. Oysters are similar to coral in that they are an important part of forming habits for fish. Being able to ask them what's troubling them could be useful for conservation efforts.

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Thorny_Insight 7 points 3 years ago

The person making this has never had gravel delivered for their driveway

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davemeech 7 points 3 years ago

Either 2 and 3 or 3 and 7.

Free gravel is fantastic, a ton of practical things to be done with it and is otherwise expensive.

Teleporting 7 inches away is enough to get you past many barriers and walls, that's not insignificant. This seems the coolest to me.

Being able to determine if a container is empty or not seems pretty cool as well although I can't think of a good example of how this would be useful.

The rest are hilarious.

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LazaroFilm 6 points 3 years ago

3 and 7. 3- you could get all those things that were just almost at your reach. Also, is it 7in of displacement or 7inches in front of where you are, like there’s a 7in wall you can go through it? 7- if you can’t see through it it means it’s full. That’s so freaking helpful!!!!imagine all those safe opening posts we could have avoided with this power.

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Aggravationstation 6 points 3 years ago

2 and 7 I will trade gravel for everything I can.

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Speiser0 6 points 3 years ago

3 and 5.

5 because it would even work on toasters that can do more than just toast, i.e. a toaster plus computer.

3 because the other pills don't sound useful. And it doesn't say how often I can use this teleportation. So I assume through repeated teleportation I'd be super fast. If it doesn't also teleport my cloths, I'd probably not use it too often though, apart from changing cloths (the 17.78 cm should be barely enough). It would also be interesting to fly using repeated teleportation. Though if my speed is not also reset through teleportation, I'd still fall, and landing would be dangerous. And if cloths and similar are not teleported with me, I also couldn't take a parachute or wings with me.

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OrteilGenou 6 points 3 years ago

3 and 7 no contest

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dope 6 points 3 years ago
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kSPvhmTOlwvMd7Y7E 6 points 3 years ago

What type of molecules can be present inside the container for it to be considered "empty"?

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Squeezer 6 points 3 years ago

1 & 2 - as CEO of The Happy Oyster company and Gravel Unlimited lI’m absolutely smashing it financially, even with the terminal lamentations of a million misled oysters in my ears.

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SirBucksworth 6 points 3 years ago

Step 1: cut off a limb Step 2: cry in pain for 9,5 hours Step 3: take pill #6

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Afghaniscran 1 point 3 years ago

Imagine being dead and looking alive for 10 hours

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AceFuzzLord 6 points 3 years ago

If #8 also included being able to write the language as well, I'd definitely pick that. I could become famous and influential in linguistic circles and probably make good money off of it for a short while. Then I could use that money to fund a few projects I've wanted to do for a while, like making a modern Vib-Ribbon for PC.

As for the other pill, probably just #3 since none of the others really appeal to me in any way.

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electric_nan 6 points 3 years ago

3 and 7, without question.

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TheWanderer 5 points 3 years ago

Choosing 3 and 7 seems the most intuitive to me. 3 to move to inaccessible places with like glass windows as separation. 7 to check if containers are empty or not.

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GrammatonCleric 5 points 3 years ago

7 and 3, no contest. With the ability to see inside containers and short teleport, a person could become a master thief fast

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PeepinGoodArgs 9 points 3 years ago
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GrammatonCleric 5 points 3 years ago

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Tofumon 3 points 3 years ago

You could at least confirm if a container is indeed empty or not though. I could see that being useful in some weird situations. For example if someone hid something in a container yard, you can at least rule out all the empty ones.

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GrammatonCleric 1 point 3 years ago
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adam 5 points 3 years ago

I would take the toaster one just so I could mess with my friends

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TubeTalkerX 5 points 3 years ago path: 0 5337752, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 2
troglodytis 3 points 3 years ago

Ah, so you're a waffle man!

path: 0 5337752 5338841, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
PipedLinkBot 2 points 3 years ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Demented Toaster!

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

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Sabre363 5 points 3 years ago

3 and 8. Teleporting is a neat party trick and speaking an extinct language would make me sound smart.

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Arthur_Leywin 5 points 3 years ago

1 and 2. The gravel to sell and the oysters to get a sense of how communications with other animals work. If I can communicate with an oyster, my understanding of communication could potentially extrapolate to higher animals.

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Moebius 5 points 3 years ago

1 and 2, but really only 1. If I can talk to oysters then I can figure out how to grow black pearls better and make some serious cash. If the oysters decide they don’t want to help then I can sell gravel.

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LEONHART 5 points 3 years ago

What's the cooldown and specifics of #6?

Is it a one-time pill effect or a power you gain? Do you stay looking however you did 10 hours ago forever?

If it's a power, let's say you use it immediately twice in a row. First time: boom. 10 hours younger. Second time: does nothing happen or do you then look 10 hours younger than then how you currently appear? So you look 20 hours younger. Could you keep spamming it indefinitely until you very slowly reach any age you want?

I suppose that depends on whether it makes you look 10 hours younger than you ARE or 10 hours younger than you CURRENTLY APPEAR.

I...I'm spending too much time thinking about this.

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wolfpack86 5 points 3 years ago

I think it's as simple as your visual appearance is simply n - 10h

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mack7400 2 points 3 years ago

You know, there's a story in here somewhere. A monkey's paw that only grants shitty-sounding wishes, but the side-effects are massively beneficial.

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Cipher22 5 points 3 years ago

I will make 10's to 100's of thousands paving roads with gravel and be more than willing to pave roads for people who can't maybe afford it without consequence.

Empty containers may be profitable as well since I could verify which shipping containers could be skipped for further processing, saving hundreds to thousands of hours of time, over time.

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bcron 5 points 3 years ago

I'm going with 7 and 8. I'd publish a series of books on the Khitan language, get that bumped to the top of google when my name is searched, generally come off as interesting, then attempt to go viral playing shell game with randos on a boardwalk in an attempt to get noticed and land on Deal or No Deal or something like that. Then I'd snag the Guinness Book of World Records title for a couple things along the lines of shell game. Once I have a very modest amount of name recognition, I make a company selling rice cakes in such flavors as Buffalo Wing and Beef Jerky because that's a totally untapped market, in hopes of selling out to Frito Lay or whoever

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ObviouslyNotBanana 5 points 3 years ago

Do I have to pick two? Because I just want #6

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justlookingfordragon 6 points 3 years ago

Easy. Just pick #6 twice so you can look 20 hours younger instantly. =P

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Risk 6 points 3 years ago

Does that mean if I pick #9 twice I can run twice as fast as Albert Einstein?

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GlitterInfection 8 points 3 years ago

How fast do you think a dead body can run?

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ObviouslyNotBanana 6 points 3 years ago

67mph

path: 0 5337500 5337952 5338467 5338531 5338822, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
troglodytis 3 points 3 years ago

You can, not you must.

path: 0 5337500 5338869, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 1
ObviouslyNotBanana 4 points 3 years ago

It doesn't matter if it's in a can or a bottle I'll only take one pill!

path: 0 5337500 5338869 5338943, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
Thcdenton 5 points 3 years ago
  1. 7 inch teleport is cheater for boxing. Idc about the other ones.
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chicken 5 points 3 years ago

5 to grant me an unstoppable botnet of all the smart toasters out there, 7 to get ansible capability

path: 0 5340446, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 1
CodingCarpenter 2 points 3 years ago

THATS NOT IN THE PLAYBOOK JOHN

path: 0 5340446 5341627, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
hrimfaxi_work 4 points 3 years ago

What's the khitan word for gravel?

path: 0 5343853, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 1
mack7400 1 point 3 years ago

"Teleport"

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TheEEEdiot 4 points 3 years ago

Play the teleport 7 inches right, and you have a get out of jail free card.

path: 0 5338220, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
Alamantus 4 points 3 years ago

Holy smokes, 2?? Obviously see inside empty containers and teleport up to 7 inches!

I'd give anything to be able to tell at a glance what boxes I don't need to open when looking for something and get out of nearly any tight spot or tangle.

path: 0 5338282, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
Rolder 4 points 3 years ago

The ability to see inside any empty container could be useful depending on how granular you’re being with “empty”. Could get a good job screening for contraband or any other job where you expect containers to be empty, as quality control.

path: 0 5338823, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
Bunnylux 4 points 3 years ago

1 and 8. I seek knowledge. A scholar, if you will.

path: 0 5337811, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
Zink 4 points 3 years ago

Spam teleporting hacks plus easy hiding using the teleport ability? Heckle yeah

path: 0 5348850, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 1
veniasilente 4 points 3 years ago

3 and 5 are a potentially broken combo. In particular if "control a toaster" means control and not just "operate", since then it's basically toasterkinesis, or being able to instantly turn any toaster into a bomb. "teleport up to 10 inches away sounds like it wouldn't be too useful but it does, in principle, allow you to phase out incoming bullets and a fair amount of lateral blade hits if you time it right.

6 and 7 could have some interesting, niche uses in some fields. 6 for example could be used for intimidation if "10 hours younger" is interpreted chronologically: even after taking a serious wound, you'd look pristine for around 10 hours so it might be used to scare or distract some enemies.

I'm... not even sure what 4 or 9 could ever be used for.

path: 0 5371168, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 1
kSPvhmTOlwvMd7Y7E 4 points 3 years ago

Marvel 's writers picking up next super power

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LostWon 4 points 3 years ago

Depending on how fast the teleport is, whether there's a delay between uses and whether it causes significant fatigue or other side effects, I might take that. Other than that, it's a toss-up for me between the extinct language and communicating with oysters.

path: 0 5375230, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
PrimePathPioneer 4 points 3 years ago

3 and 7, teleporting a short distance like that can be extremely useful to get past roors and fences. Identifying whether a container was empty or not reliably is good enough proof to clean out this list without being powerful enough that the majority of people would actually believe I have magic, plus I don't have to reveal my teleporting ability.

path: 0 5437891, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
Lolors17 4 points 3 years ago

Apart fron all the others, number 7 seems kinda useful.

path: 0 5380137, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 1
c0mbatbag3l 4 points 3 years ago

Teleport 7 inches, and free gravel for life.

The first might come in handy during some insane near miss scenario, and I could make a killing running a B2B selling gravel.

path: 0 5342805, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
HiddenLayer5 4 points 3 years ago

Become the most profitable gravel supplier in history due to having no land acquisition or extraction costs, not to mention no need to plan for when one site runs out of usable gravel.

path: 0 5344255, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
Rhllor 4 points 3 years ago

5 If you want to see the world burn

path: 0 5352956, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
SwissJackalope 4 points 3 years ago

Time to disrupt the gravel market

path: 0 5347781, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
db2 4 points 3 years ago

10 hours younger than what?

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dependencyinjection 3 points 3 years ago

Take a photo of yourself.

Waiting 10 hours then do it again.

Then if you choose you can look like you did in the first photo.

path: 0 5337841 5339570, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
quantenzitrone 1 point 3 years ago

ur mum

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Jesse 3 points 3 years ago

Why is no one choosing 7? Xray vision is absolutely going to be super useful. After that its a tossup between 2 and 3.

path: 0 5343110, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 6
wolfpack86 5 points 3 years ago

It only works on empty containers. How many closed containers do you encounter and really wish you could see the air inside

path: 0 5343110 5343352, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 4
Robtheverb 4 points 3 years ago

I think the only thing that would be useful with that would be you’d know exactly what things have stuff in them and what stuff doesn’t. I’m sure there’s a use for that but maybe not as much as #3

path: 0 5343110 5343352 5343497, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
Death_Equity 3 points 3 years ago

Easy shell game wins.

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wolfpack86 1 point 3 years ago

Ooo good point.

path: 0 5343110 5343352 5344001 5350397, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
FlyingSquid 3 points 3 years ago

I once spent 2 hours with a crowbar breaking open my grandparents' safe after they died and it was empty.

I wouldn't have minded that power that day.

path: 0 5343110 5343352 5343821, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
leaky_shower_thought 3 points 3 years ago

7 isn't clear on the definition of empty.

for all we know, anything with air isn't "empty".

path: 0 5343110 5345444, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
ToeNailClippings 3 points 3 years ago
path: 0 5352102, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 5
egeres 3 points 3 years ago

I think you guys are underrating a few of these

  • 8 could be useful if you're a spy and want to have your own private documents that noone can read
  • 1 you could leave oysters in places suited for eavesdropping, and maybe even coordinate billions of them to tackle down ships etc (?)
  • 5 It would be possible to all of the sudden communicate with all humanity in morse code by turning them on and off, you would hit headlines and maybe demand a crazy amount of money in cardano/bitcoin or else you'll just blow up the toast industry. Plus, this morse code thing could lead to a cult where you might have fanatics at your advantage
path: 0 5465334, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
Corkyskog 3 points 3 years ago

1 & 7 or 2 & 7 rough choices.

With the oysters you could probably ascertain way more knowledge than you expected.

path: 0 5370635, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 1
LiamMayfair 3 points 3 years ago

5 and 8. Imagine being able to spook people out all around the world by making their toaster go off in the middle of the night. Also, speaking in dead languages will make me very interesting at parties.

path: 0 5433930, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
AgentGrimstone 3 points 3 years ago

7 can be useful. With 6 I can keep repeating it to be a lot younger, 10 hours at a time.

path: 0 5352492, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
arefx 3 points 3 years ago

3 and 7 could be useful

path: 0 5380561, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 1
Octopus1348 3 points 3 years ago

3 and 5

path: 0 5378219, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
badaboomxx 3 points 3 years ago

For me 2 and 7.

path: 0 5375774, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
FollyDolly 3 points 3 years ago

As someone with a gravel driveway, I will take free gravel for life. Lump sum is okay but installments are prefured.

path: 0 5383301, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
RIP_Cheems 3 points 3 years ago

Free gravel and can speak khitan. You can sell the gravel for money and you can say just about anything and no one will get mad at you cause no one will understand you.

path: 0 5375842, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
Here4CatPics 3 points 3 years ago

3 and 8

Then I can Time Warp to the past and become a king! Or holy figure

path: 0 5359715, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 2
Poem_for_your_sprog 3 points 3 years ago

Depends on the teleport cool down, but that's the obvious first choice. From there it's tough between 1, 2, and 5...

path: 0 5341975, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
Simulation6 3 points 3 years ago

3 and 6. There was no limit to how often you can use the power, so just spam them. Look 20 and fly.

path: 0 5344403, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
whereBeWaldo 3 points 3 years ago

2 and 6,

Set up a business with 2 and eat the number 6 in case you lose a limb or something in an accident

path: 0 5337804, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
FQQD 3 points 3 years ago

Probably 3 or 5. Those would be funny af

path: 0 5338145, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
candle_lighter 3 points 3 years ago

You could escape from anything with number 3

path: 0 5337882, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
257m 3 points 3 years ago

I want this to be an actual proper format for those shitty superpower communities.

path: 0 5339549, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
bakachu 3 points 3 years ago

Is it just 1 pill for one-time use? I need this information to know if I can reuse some of these pill options.

path: 0 5340361, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
dependencyinjection 3 points 3 years ago

1 and 2.

I bet oysters are pretty cool and have a lot to talk about.

Free gravel. No more pot holes.

path: 0 5339623, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
howsetheraven 3 points 3 years ago

5 and 7. You guys are sleeping on the toaster thing. I can control the most unsafe electrical appliance with my mind? The possibilities are endless.

Along with knowing whether things are empty. I'd be the perfect bouncer.

path: 0 5348353, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 1
PeterPoopshit 3 points 3 years ago

2 and 3. I'm starting a gravel company. 3 just because it's the 2nd most useful one.

path: 0 5342254, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
Kaliax 3 points 3 years ago

3 and 7

path: 0 5347542, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
Twelve20two 3 points 3 years ago

2 + 3

2 because I'm sure free gravel will come in handy at some point, and 3 because I can now teleport to the other side of locked doors

path: 0 5342432, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
TheMightyCanuck 3 points 3 years ago

Free gravel for money making and Toaster mind control for the sheer laziness or the lolz

path: 0 5342199, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
leaky_shower_thought 3 points 3 years ago

4 and 5.

toasters are cool. having them do your bidding? priceless.

4 because I am a kind and generous person. free noses for everybody~*!

*you can opt-out

path: 0 5345592, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
Surp 3 points 3 years ago

Teleport obviously

path: 0 5343828, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
Karyoplasma 3 points 3 years ago

5 and 8.

Languages are rad and so are toasters.

path: 0 5344308, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
Filthmontane 3 points 3 years ago

2 and 8. Start a gravel selling business and write a book on Khitan

path: 0 5344287, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 1
Discoslugs 1 point 3 years ago

Such a low bar for success. Count me in.

path: 0 5344287 5347851, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
criitz 2 points 3 years ago

3 and 7 have real uses. Get past locked doors, etc.

path: 0 5344261, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1
EtherWhack 1 point 3 years ago

Can also mess with quantum mechanics too, given you know what's inside the box

path: 0 5344261 5345307, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
Nikls94 2 points 3 years ago

2 and 5

2 because gravel can be sold

5 because imagine you’re in a hotel and just mess with people

path: 0 5389325, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
Daft_ish 2 points 3 years ago

Run as fast as Albert Einstein would be a godsend for someone who is paralyzed.

path: 0 5345108, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 3
crawancon 2 points 3 years ago

I chose 1 and 3.

1 because oysters will tell me where the biggest pearls are = $$$$ 3 for locked doors and the coolest room exits.

I'd live a good life with them.

path: 0 5342660, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 3
brianorca 3 points 3 years ago

But would they though? It would be more like "see Sam over there, yeah he has a great pearl. But not me, I'm sure. Nope, no way." The clam sure doesn't want you putting that knife in to get the pearl.

path: 0 5342660 5343740, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 2
crawancon 1 point 3 years ago

I'm pretty sure to them it's poop.. but yeah maybe they don't want a knife.

I bet we could find common ground. maybe the seniors are ok with it, for $.

path: 0 5342660 5343740 5343980, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1
deur 2 points 3 years ago
path: 0 5342660 5343740 5343980 5349169, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
EunieIsTheBus 2 points 3 years ago

Question: Are pants and underwear considered as a container?

"Officer I swear I just wanted to see which phone causes such a big bulge in his pockets! How could I know that the pills grant X Ray vision!"

path: 0 5352439, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1
Knetsqu 2 points 3 years ago
path: 0 5346078, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
Kushia 2 points 3 years ago

Doesn't say there's a limit on how many pills of your choice you can take so I assume you'll get an ongoing prescription of them. In which case, I'm taking 6 and reliving my 20s forever.

path: 0 5347474, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
ILikeBoobies 2 points 3 years ago

5 and 7 I can do already thanks to my hands

1 and 8 might be the same

4 needs specifics, like can I just instantly grow a nose on the palm of my hand at any time and remove it? It might help for smelling things on the top shelf

I’d go with 6 and a toss up between 1 and 4

path: 0 5340903, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1
Fenrisulfir 1 point 3 years ago

7 could be useful to win some gambling games though

path: 0 5340903 5341435, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
bitwaba 2 points 3 years ago

1 and 2.

Endless Pearls.

path: 0 5352287, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
ubermeisters 1 point 3 years ago
path: 0 5383835, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1
samus12345 1 point 3 years ago
path: 0 5341930, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
FangedWyvern42 1 point 3 years ago

3, because it’s actually kind of useful.

path: 0 5342508, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
faceless 1 point 3 years ago
path: 0 5339816, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 2
brianorca 1 point 3 years ago

The gifts of gab.

path: 0 5339816 5343953, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1
faceless 1 point 3 years ago
path: 0 5339816 5343953 5345911, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
Discoslugs 1 point 3 years ago

1 + 2. Criminally underrated combo.

Gravel + concrete + oysters = more oysters

How are y'all not seeing this?

path: 0 5347766, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 2
okmko 1 point 3 years ago

I imagine all of these powers come as the worst possible implementation like a cursed rabbit's foot.

Like free gravel for life: you don't conjure it out of thin air at will, no, it's magically mailed to you once a day in small quality and you have to remove it from your mailbox or it'll fill it up.

Teleport 7 inches: a magic nimbus appears and lifts you on it. If there's a wall in the way, it just keeps shoving you against the wall.

path: 0 5348149, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
MrNesser 1 point 3 years ago

5 and 7

I get toast when i want and no one said the empty container has to be near me

path: 0 5341342, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
Imgonnatrythis 1 point 3 years ago

Why the hell doesn't anyone want to communicate with oysters? They probably have a lot to say! Also you could just drop an oyster in a board room or something and learn trade secrets.

path: 0 5342139, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1
brianorca 0 points 3 years ago

They still don't have ears. You can talk to them, but they can't hear anyone else.

path: 0 5342139 5343895, hotness: undefined, score: 0, children: 0
Fredthefishlord 1 point 3 years ago

3 and 7. Teleportation? Hell yeah! And you can see inside containers to teleport inside of. 7 probably has some really fun uses if you get creative with it

path: 0 5348161, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
AeonFelis 1 point 3 years ago

If you pick 7, 1 becomes redundant.

path: 0 5352799, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
S0L1DX 1 point 3 years ago
path: 0 5342014, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
pinkdrunkenelephants 1 point 3 years ago

3 and 5. I would wreak so much havoc, it'd be fucking great

path: 0 5369550, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 3
looseanus -1 points 3 years ago
path: 0 5360568, hotness: undefined, score: -1, children: 0
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