Those that sleep in bed with a significant other, how do you deal with snoring?

3 months ago by return2ozma to c/asklemmy

zabadoh 41 points 3 months ago path: 0 23611965, hotness: undefined, score: 41, children: 11
HuudaHarkiten 10 points 3 months ago

Your life insurance rates go up if they find out.

Is this some sort of American joke that I'm too European to understand?

Excuse my over used joke, but that cant be true?

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ksh 2 points 3 months ago

As an Aussie I’m glad to have free healthcare.

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captainlezbian 1 point 3 months ago

Life insurance isn't health insurance. It pays out when you die so your family isn't fucked over by funeral costs and the sudden loss in income.

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HuudaHarkiten 1 point 3 months ago

Its rather obvious that the other guy meant health insurance. I didn't even notice the different word they used by (presumably) accident, I guess my brain auto corrected it lol. But thanks for pointing that out.

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TORFdot0 3 points 3 months ago

I’m fairly certain he meant life insurance. In the US under the ACA, charging people higher premiums or cancelling their coverage due to pre-existing conditions is illegal

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captainlezbian 1 point 3 months ago

No it's not. Life insurance premiums here go up when you have certain conditions (especially without getting them treated). Health insurance premiums here are pretty heavily regulated on such things, and they just offer a few discounts for a handful of things like getting an annual checkup, not smoking, and getting vaccinated.

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winkerjadams 8 points 3 months ago

Do you feel more rested now or notice any difference?

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Geldaran 12 points 3 months ago

I'm not the person you asked, but I've been on my CPAP for a year now. Yes, it does what they say, but I hate it with a passion. She can sleep, but now I wake up 4 times a night feeling like the damn thing is suffocating me.

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zabadoh 9 points 3 months ago

I haven't noticed any difference from before, but my wife has stopped nudging me awake to get me to stop snoring.

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lemmylommy 6 points 3 months ago

Been on it for a couple of years. It’s a difference like night and day. You don’t really notice how fucked you are by the apnea until you are not.

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InvalidName2 31 points 3 months ago

Significant other needs to get treatment. CPAP, for instance. Lose weight, if applicable. Surgery if necessary. Address the root of the problem because it can be a significant health issue for them, while also impacting your health via mechanisms related to lack of restorative sleep.

If it's just a once in a blue moon thing, and waking them up / having them change positions doesn't resolve it, I will go sleep in another room, put in ear plugs or listen to some relaxing music with earbuds in to drown out the snoring.

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Lumidaub 2 points 3 months ago

What if they can't find a root cause?

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WandowsVista 27 points 3 months ago

I snore pretty loudly, have since I was a kid. doctors told me I have "overdeveloped adenoids" and pretty much always will. it doesn't bother me, but for my partner's sake, I've tried a few things.

nasal strips didn't really do anything. the mouth guards are incredibly uncomfortable and I've heard they can loosen teeth, so I finally broke down and tried mouth tape. it works pretty well. it improves my sleep a little and my wife's quite a bit. the name brand stuff is expensive, but it's basically just KT tape.

I keep plenty of that on hand for sports injuries and now I just cut a piece into little strips and it does the job. although, according to my wife, I still manage to honkshoo mimimimi a bit out the sides of my mouth.

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hereiamagain 23 points 3 months ago

"honkshoo mimimimi"

I heard this in my head perfectly, nicely done

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WandowsVista 6 points 3 months ago

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zabadoh 13 points 3 months ago

Re: Mouth guards

Many years ago, my dentist advised me to have him make a mouth guard to protect my teeth.

I didn't do that, thinking it wasn't needed.

About 10 years later, these last few years, I have had root canals, tooth extractions and expensive dental implants on my rear-most molars.

The oral surgeon showed me an X ray of my teeth in those areas: My molars were ground flat and were cracked because I grind my teeth so hard because of snoring/apnea, and probably stress.

Take some advice from someone who has experience: Get the fucking mouth guards.

And look into getting fitted for a CPAP machine:y dentist said it helped somewhat with the grinding, but it wasn't a cure-all in the end for my teeth.

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WandowsVista 2 points 3 months ago

fortunately I don't grind or clench at all, I tried one of the Z Quiet ones that are supposed to keep your jaw pushed forward to prevent snoring by keeping your airway open and those were nightmarish. I felt like a horse.

I will likely get a CPAP eventually, but for now I'm still relatively young and decently fit, I don't have any issues with airflow, I'm just loud. the tape keeps my mouth mostly closed, but not completely, which has also been a game changer for avoiding sore throats when I feel a cold coming on.

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Mycatiskai 5 points 3 months ago

If you snore loudly then you indeed have issues with airflow. Snoring is friction and blockage or the airway which is an issue.

I didn't get a CPAP until I was 32 and boy do I wish I realized how bad it was years before. Your body can deal with sleep deprivation from snoring or sleep apnea until it can't and you get sicker more often, injuries take longer to recover from, weight doesn't come off as easily.

The earlier people get onto CPAP if they have sleep apnea, the sooner they will realize how much better proper sleep is compared to broken sleep.

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Lyrl 4 points 3 months ago

It wasn't my husband's snoring that made me nag him for years (I would have just gotten earplugs like other comments suggest), it was the lack of breathing. Waking up to a snore, and then hearing... nothing... nothing... nothing... nothing... GASP!!!! is quite distressing. If WandowsVista's partner is giving him feedback on noise, I am sure he'd be getting feedback on any lack of breathing.

Also, CPAP isn't a clear win for a lot of people with apnea. My husband really struggles - even years after starting it - to fall asleep with a hunk of plastic strapped to his face, and middle of the night large air leaks that make the thing stop being effective are a recurring issue as wear parts get changed out and the straps have to be tweaked and tweaked to get the system stable again. For him, the reduced headaches (and lack of nagging from me) make the CPAP worthwhile, but I have known quite a few people who got the sleep study, got the CPAP, tried to make it work, and gave up.

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WandowsVista 3 points 3 months ago

nah, you can be a loud snorer without having apnea. granted, it's usually an early warning sign, but I don't have any pauses or choking or anything when I sleep. I'm just big guy make loud noise

source: asked many a doctor

I'll get a CPAP machine one day. when the prophecy has been fulfilled.

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Bane_Killgrind -1 points 3 months ago

Did living in a way to reduce your stress ever enter into consideration?

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Nastybutler 2 points 3 months ago

Don't you think if they could, they would?

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Bane_Killgrind 1 point 3 months ago

No, people don't generally problem solve in such a linear fashion.

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akunohana 21 points 3 months ago

cHHP750UgRXUiYC.gif

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l_isqof 9 points 3 months ago

I bet that's even louder than snoring.

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akunohana 9 points 3 months ago

Yeah, the gif is just a representation of what I feel at the time. What I actually do is kiss her on her cheek, whisper in her ear that she's the most beautiful person in the entire universe, upon which she smiles slightly which in turn disrupts her snoring. Bada bing bada boom.

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Mac 2 points 3 months ago

Where do i sign up for this

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akunohana 2 points 3 months ago

I am not accepting applications at this time. But when I open shop again - whenever I manage to manage my depression -, I require the following: strawberry cake.🍰

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myrrh 3 points 3 months ago
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Mac 1 point 3 months ago

Yep. Once.

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harmbugler 3 points 3 months ago

Make it twice, just to be sure

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slazer2au 19 points 3 months ago

By poking me so I lay slightly differently so I don't snore.

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chrisbtoo 14 points 3 months ago

Every time she says she didn't sleep well, I apologise for snoring just in case.

Every time I'm awake in the night and she's snoring, I just try and ignore it.

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Nemo 11 points 3 months ago

It doesn't bother me. I can sleep in any conditions.

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raldone01 4 points 3 months ago

I love that ability I just have to be tired enough which I usually am.

When I decide to sleep on the cold floor for example I sometimes regret that on the next day though.

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Nemo 3 points 3 months ago

See, that's why I love my underfloor heating.

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Bluegrass_Addict 11 points 3 months ago

I just lost weight and the snoring went away l.. so yeh

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Maestro 10 points 3 months ago

After years of my wife nagging me, I finally got a sleep study done. Turns out I have severe sleep apnea (over 60 stops per hour!) and got a CPAP. It was life changing for me. I never knew how terribly sleep deprived I was. Now I don't snore at all!

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Vex_Detrause 1 point 3 months ago

What improved? Energy? Less nagging?

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IWW4 10 points 3 months ago

I use a CPAP and it is wonderful!!!! I don’t snore anymore and she very rarely does.

I ignored using it for years until my state mandated that if you don’t use it you will loos your driver’s license so I started using it.

I felt like an idiot for not using it sooner. It was insane how much I was not sleeping.

I wasn’t snoring I was suffocating myself.

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Nollij 3 points 3 months ago

I want to know how your sleeping conditions are connected to your state's DMV.

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IWW4 6 points 3 months ago

The state lists sleep apena under head injuries and seizure disorders as conditions that impair drivers. So to renew or get a license you have to produce the sleep study that diagnosed the ailment and two years of usage logs of the CPAP.

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captainlezbian 2 points 3 months ago

That sounds like a disincentive to diagnosis

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wpb 1 point 3 months ago

It's a matter of public safety. Driving while sleep deprived significantly increases the odds of crashing your car, and sleep apnea can in some cases deprive you a lot. A colleague of mine fell asleep behind the wheel on his morning drive to work, totalled his car. Turned out he had sleep apnea.

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Geldaran 3 points 3 months ago

different personal experience here. CPAP works, I don't snore, my wife is happier. A year in, I HATE it. no matter what mask I try, how I sleep, I fucking hate it. Now I'm miserable and waking up all night because I feel like the damn thing is smothering me. And she wonders why I'd rather sleep down stairs.

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Lyrl 2 points 3 months ago

You mention trying different masks, and none working. Have you asked about reducing the pressure? Or maybe switching to a BiPAP that reduces pressure for exhale? Nothing is guaranteed to help, but if you haven't explored those options, might be worth asking.

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ActualGrapesTasteGreen 10 points 3 months ago

I lost a lot of weight and it stopped

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return2ozma 6 points 3 months ago

How much did you lose? Congrats

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Rooster326 3 points 3 months ago

Which stopped? The marriage?

What happened to the significant other snoring?

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dragonlover 8 points 3 months ago

If the partner is snoring loudly they might have a form of sleep apnea. They should get a sleep study done just to check. My husband's snoring was so loud I could sometimes hear it through earplugs. He had sleep apnea, now he uses a CPAP machine and no more snoring and better sleep for both of us.

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neidu3 8 points 3 months ago

A nudge usually does the trick. Sometimes a gentle push is needed.

And when I shared a bedroom with unsignificant others (army), whoever snored got army boots thrown at them. Not recommended for significant others.

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schmorpel 8 points 3 months ago

My own room. From reading the comments a lot of people just seem to suffer through sleepless nights or try to dictate their partner's health/behaviour. Look, you can love each other without sleeping in the same bed, or even living in the same house.

Edit: you asked for input from those who DO share a bed, sorry. I suffered too for many years, and my health deteriorated. Now even next to a non-snoring partner I'll get zero sleep. Which is why I advocate for considering separate rooms.

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WagnasT 8 points 3 months ago

If I fall asleep on my back I will probably start to snore, she will poke me and I will probably roll onto a side without waking up and stop snoring.

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Rhynoplaz 7 points 3 months ago

I got used to it. It used to keep me up, but now I hardly even notice it.

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nocturne 7 points 3 months ago

Same

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NABDad 7 points 3 months ago

If you're sleeping with a partner who snores, get them to get a sleep study done. If they have sleep apnea, the snoring is the sound of them dying slowly.

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ChonkyOwlbear 7 points 3 months ago

I had deviated septum surgery. Took 2 years and $20k but breathing through both nostrils for the first time in my life was worth it.

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bhamlin 6 points 3 months ago

Snore louder to assert my dominance.

But for real, you do get used to it. I've found I don't snore as loudly when side sleeping vs on my back. I need quiet to get to sleep but not to stay asleep, while my partner will tolerate some noise. So I usually try to fall asleep first and things work out.

If I don't, I usually have a tough night. ☺️

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myrrh 6 points 3 months ago
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Heyting 2 points 3 months ago

Congrats to improving your life by defying social norms

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sol6_vi 6 points 3 months ago

I'm getting my cpap tomorrow. They wouldn't even let me finish the sleep study without hooking me up to one. I do not look like a cpap user let me tell you. 5'8'', 180lbs. Anyone could have apnea. So glad my wife made me go. Excited to sleep without starving my brain of oxygen every night.

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VibeSurgeon 6 points 3 months ago

Ear plugs help. There are good ones that don't bother you that much when sleeping.

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cheers_queers 9 points 3 months ago

as someone with auditory sensory issues, loops have changed my life. they have different designs for different uses, i cant sleep without mine and going out in public is also much easier for me!

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Oaksey 2 points 3 months ago

I like the loops but I’ve found I prefer the style with the soft barbs, making sure they are ones with no hard plastic. Easier to put in while half asleep and more comfortable. A lot cheaper too.

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marshadow 6 points 3 months ago

By poking him and telling him to roll over onto his side.

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RBWells 5 points 3 months ago

Oof my husband snores. I let him fall asleep first because it's worst when he first falls asleep, when I get in bed I say please stop snoring and he can for long enough I get to sleep, and I guess it's just not as loud after that because I almost never wake up from it. If I snore it wakes me up though, happens rarely but sometimes if I am on my back will snort while asleep and it jerks me awake - I don't understand how my husband can sleep though his own snoring, at all .

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brynden_rivers_esq 5 points 3 months ago

I just kinda gently jostle her a little until she stops. Its usually about the angle of the head in my experience (at least for my wife!)

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lost_faith 5 points 3 months ago

I gently poke/push her until she moves or wakes up

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Yeller_king 5 points 3 months ago

Snore louder than them.

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snoons 5 points 3 months ago

My sibling sleeps in a separate room from their partner, not only because they snore but also because they thrash around a lot.

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CultLeader4Hire 5 points 3 months ago

Slightly pulling the pillow can work if the person isn’t a horrible chronic snorer. Making a person move their head while sleeping will often make them adjust their whole body readjusting their airway and that can both help them sleep better and snore less but it only works on light to moderate snoring, people who are super loud when they sleep probably have something going on that isn’t just position of sleep.

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LavaPlanet 5 points 3 months ago

Let me just be really annoying and say, if snoring is something more serious, like sleep apnea, it can shorten your life and lead to coronary issues. Please talk to your doctor, when you can.

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Goldholz 5 points 3 months ago

Since my nose surgery i am snoring quietly. But when ever it annoys my partner they say they just kick me a bit and i stop

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Malyca 5 points 3 months ago

Eventually, you tune it out. Took several years for me. We both snore much less now though so I'm probably no longer immune. You should encourage testing for sleep apnea imo.

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neo2478 4 points 3 months ago

CPAP machine was a game changer. Not onlybdo I not bother my wife with snoring, but also I've never slept better!

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fartographer 3 points 3 months ago

CPAP Club! Yay!

My favorite way to sleep now is on my back, with my blankets tucked in all around me so that I look like a mummy. And I get to breathe just fine, cuz I'm fucking scuba diving in my own bed.

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neo2478 2 points 3 months ago

I am definitely trying that tonight!

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SaneMartigan 4 points 3 months ago

I mostly sleep through it else a nuzzle-nudge does the trick. I can hear that she hasn't woken up during the whole thing.

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Bytemeister 4 points 3 months ago

Can't hear them snoring if I'm asleep too.

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foodandart 4 points 3 months ago

I nudge him in the ribs and tell the spouse to roll onto his side. When it's bad like when he's got a cold, I hit the sofa. He will do the same.

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whaleross 4 points 3 months ago

Earplugs.

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cattywampas 4 points 3 months ago

I don't, neither of us snore.

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folekaule 4 points 3 months ago

Earplugs. If those fail, gently poke or push until she turns over, hopefully without waking up.

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9point6 4 points 3 months ago

Background white noise from a fan seems to be the main thing that helps

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AskewLord 4 points 3 months ago

i snore louder back.

gets them everytime.

then we both go back to sleep.

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roofuskit 4 points 3 months ago

Hold on while I ask her.

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TheTimeKnife 4 points 3 months ago

Ear plugs and nudging. Though to be honest, sometimes it's hard to sleep without hearing her drone a little bit.

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Soggy 4 points 3 months ago

I stay up until there's a lull in the snoring and fall asleep in that window, thankfully it's not constant or loud enough to wake me once I'm out.

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fartographer 4 points 3 months ago

I use a CPAP, and I can tell when it didn't help because I'm uncomfortable, and my wife is sleeping in the living room. Or she yells at me.

For me, I enjoy the sound of light snoring, so my wife or dogs snoring a little bit actually helps me fall asleep. If my wife starts snoring too hard, to the point that it sounds possibly painful or problematic, I gently adjust the position of her head, or get up and physically move her.

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Apytele 4 points 3 months ago

Temporal bedroom divorce. I'm only in it during the day he's only in it at night. Sometimes I try to snuggle up to him while he's sleeping for a midnight nap and he gets up to move to the couch and I cry a little inside. Nice to have no sleeping disruptions but a lot less cuddles.

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HootinNHollerin 3 points 3 months ago

Earbuds with noise cancelling, and fan

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Libb 3 points 3 months ago

We've been together 30 years and counting. One gets used to some snoring. When it's too loud or too annoying (and it's not just me, she too can snore :p) we nudge the other, even when they wake up they almost instantly fall asleep without the snoring.

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jtrek 3 points 3 months ago

I have discovered that a gentle nudge makes them stop snoring. This might not be universal but it has been working for me.

Otherwise, white noise can help. Like a fan or something

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Wildmimic 3 points 3 months ago

My experience was: whoever sleeps first, sleeps.

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captainlezbian 3 points 3 months ago

We have a guest bedroom. If I'm snoring too much or her insomnia is too bad she moves to the other one for the night. She usually starts by kicking me to stop the snoring and only moves if it doesn't stop.

For the past year we've been in a studio temporarily and we both miss it so much.

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jet 2 points 3 months ago

Snoring is most commonly caused by ectopic fat in the airway, which is driven by a impaired metabolism (96% of adults). The good news is the body really does not want fat in the airway (or in muscles, or the liver, or in the visceral cavity), and this often resolves in a few months after fixing your metabolism.

I used to snore very loudly, extremely so. Doing low carb for a few months resolved my snoring (and many other things).. so I was still very fat but not snoring anymore. Which is a win.

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notsosure 2 points 3 months ago

I just lay back and enjoy.

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HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 2 points 3 months ago

I take allergy meds. No more loud snoring!

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moseschrute 1 point 3 months ago

Pillow over the head. Also, if I get her to flip sides that usually fixies it. E.g. “hey babe can I spoon you”

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radiofreebc 1 point 3 months ago
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BeigeAgenda 1 point 3 months ago

The few times it's hard to sleep because of her snoring, I lie and think about that my snoring is probably louder.

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faqtimaan 1 point 3 months ago

I take melatonin but i sleep alone most of time🤣

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WandowsVista 1 point 3 months ago
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dream_weasel 1 point 3 months ago

If I snore my wife pokes me and asks to roll over, then she goes back to sleep and so do I. She doesn't usually snore, but I generslly fall asleep faster anyway.

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GreenKnight23 1 point 3 months ago

snore louder

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Vex_Detrause 1 point 3 months ago

Be the snorer.

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urheber -7 points 3 months ago
path: 0 23630537, hotness: undefined, score: -7, children: 0
asklemmy
asklemmy

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A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have fun

Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, toxicity and dog-whistling are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'

This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spam

Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reason

Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.

It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.

Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !uspolitics@lemmy.world


7) No Hit-and-Run questions.

Please don't delete your post for no apparent reason. If you plan on deleting a question later, say so in the post, or if you feel that you have a good reason to remove it, message a mod beforehand. It's not fair to the ones who took their time to answer, and it's not in the spirit of the community.


8) No Bots.

Posts or comments from bots, LLM's, AIs, Neural Networks, Transformers, or Marvin the Paranoid Android are not welcome in AskLemmy. Real humans only please.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

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