I dunno, I mean I think AI is stupid too, but she could have gave the guy a chance. Explained that she didn't like AI and the use of it, and valued creativity over it. Dating is already so stupid, like you have to be on guard about every little thing.

Makes you wonder what else she's this defensive about? Wore red instead of white, boom this lady is gone. Like Pepsi instead of Cola? She's outty. Maybe it's him that dodged the bullet...

So he learned to just not mention it next time

My dad just used some form of AI to hallucinate a "song" for Mom and their anniversary. He got real mad when I said I didn't want to hear it. Both Mom and I have degrees in music and play an instrument or two. He still couldn't figure out why it mattered.

Ok, that's insane. If you don't have enough feelings or love for your child to write a speech for their wedding... Then don't give a fucking speech at all.

I'll go a different direction here: what you suggest for a first date is an opportunity to show how cool you are.

I went on an amazing coffee date with a woman where she took me to a tiny coffee and chocolate shop that was amazing. Sure, most of why the date went great was that we clicked instantly and chatted for hours until we really had to go and that we both found each other very attractive, but the setting set the stage, I just don't think it would've gone as well in a Starbucks.

My first date with my wife she took me to the only lesbian bar in town then the next morning brunch at a popular cool taqueria. I remember thinking how she seemed so cool and in touch with the cool and fun parts of a city I'd been interested in since visiting occasionally in college.

I've had multiple great first dates to just local Mexican restaurants, followed by a walk in a park. They tended to be with women who had families and thus limited time and money, that too is personality. It involved the collaboration of "hey do you like mexican?" And when we enjoyed the meal, "there's a park nearby and I still have time, want to go for a walk"?

All of these served as ways to show some personality and to establish a baseline for what you think a fun night out with your partner could be. The first girl and I didn't enter a relationship because life got in the way shortly afterwards, so I can't say how it would have gone. But for the moms, yeah dates were typically a cheap meal, a cheap or free experience, often involving walking, and constrained by the fact that their kids and husbands (polyamory not cheating) were their top priorities. With my wife, just as that first date, our nights out together often involve a bit too much at a queer bar followed by hours upon hours of talking and maybe a meal at a cool but cheap restaurant before or after.

If you use chatgpt to decide on a first date plans I'm going to assume that 5 years ago you were the type to have a first date at fridays or applebees. And not because you really liked it, or thought it was a good value, but because it was a sit down restaurant nearby that you know is good enough and most people are fine with. It says a night out will be bland if anything, and probably the bare minimum. Fucking hell, asking "so what do you like to do for a first date?" is more interesting and charming than that, it at least implies that you're either very considerate or looking for a partner to take the lead or make decisions.

You also should show a bit of yourself. Your own interests, preferences, etc. An AI cannot help with that, unless you are the AI.

If someone wants an AI dinner date, they can make that up themselves.

At worst, just outright ask them if you're unsure, to see what they might be into. They'd likely appreciate the thought.

It's like Facebook chat asking if I want to summarize a conversation with my friends with AI. Mf'er, I spend time with these people because I enjoy it. Why in the hell would I want to run my conversation with them through a slop filter?

BooM Goes The Dynomite

Just curious. I realize this community is probably the wrong place to ask, but how would you feel about someone using AI to brainstorm some date ideas but still doing the actual selection and planning themselves (and not bragging about using AI as something to admire)? To me, it doesn't feel too different from doing a web search of "date ideas" and working off whatever lists you get.

Using the chat bot to make your plans in the first place is even more lame.

So, use a computer for ideas but be dishonest?

Yes because everybody knows everywhere about their local area, and they have lots of free time and free money

I tried AI again the other day, just for a yearly check in. Gemini's Pro model was more apologetic than ever when it changed the basis of its narrative SIX TIMES in seven prompts.

I was simply asking it to describe the counterweight mechanism in a piece of common machinery. It changed from industrial gas struts, to no support and being too heavy to handle, to two large springs (correct), back to no support but now because it's feather light, and so on. I simply kept asking it to stop fabricating answers and to verify from a parts diagram, the URL for which I provided. Its apologies and explanations grew longer and more elaborate each time.

We had good laughs, but sorry about the power and water usage.

A colleague of mine is trying to run a tech startup - some slop based AI garbage for healthcare. He's a parent at my kid's school. The school has been doing a pasta dinner fundraiser for over 3 decades. This dude is one of the heads of a PTA type group. This year he made the decision to bake the pasta instead of boiling it because he asked chatgpt how to make pasta for a lot of people. It came out fine, but it saved 0 time, and tasted just as mediocre as the year prior. Why would you contribute to the environmental destruction and waste of electricity that is AI just to ask how to fucking cook pasta? He went on this whole rant about how he would have never had such a great idea were it not for AI. The man is clearly part of the problem.

That's a really weird reason to think it's fake. There are plenty of reasons, not least that it's on the internet at all, but this describes a very normal human thought error. I understand it's not the type of mistake any individual person would necessarily make, but if you don't understand that some people definitely would, I think you could use more insight into the variety of personalities and thought processes which exist.

you are a lemmy user... a rare breed. She is on twitter and all these other platforms chirpin. I could believe. Yet it might be bogus but it still hits.

I have sent a whatsapp message to someone when I intended to send a teams message to someone else, but this one seems unlikely

I have. Sometimes the brain isn't paying attention.

I think he's just deeply insecure. He's not sure what to do, so he asks an LLM. Then he's not sure that's what she wants, so he asks for her input too. They don't seem like a good fit for each other, so probably for the best to break it off early.

Maybe? Never done such a thing on a date? Invited randomness to see how you both navigate? I never have a plan after the initial meeting. Just meet up and roll, open plans, no obligations. Much as I loathe AI, a ChatGPT suggestion might be amusing. Either party can kick it back, but it might give me a new idea. (Which is about all AI is worth in my life, prodding a thought I hadn't had.)

EVERYTHING is open to misinterpretation when you meet online, especially before the first date, and even more so the older we get, what with baggage and such. The hard line in the sand looks like: MAGA, racism, stupid, etc.

The judging in this thread has me wondering if any of you have dated more than a person or three. Perhaps all humans should be on the same page regarding AI? Be nice, but it's anything but real. If you reject me for this one minor item, what's next? And what's next? Next?

I don't know. I think she probably just wasn't that into him. There isn't much a woman won't put up with if she actually likes him.

On the other hand, it was very considerate of him to lay that out so early.

She owes the guy nothing. Plus x notoriously grandfathered in power users of Twitter in order to keep engagement up. She could have gotten the checkmark for free.

she's a femcel just look at the posts. Can we stop giving these incels attention in ruining our society through their endless insecurities?

Staying on Xhitter and posting every few hours and pretending to take some sort of ethical high ground? you could burn all the tokens in maximum LLM plan and you'd never do worse than empowering a literal neo-nazis personal propaganda network. What a fucking dork.

Nah, look, you gotta understand, we have a one-sided story here with no chance for the man to defend his actions, and we're taking her word at face value. Nothing else needed to tell us all about what a wise woman she is for dodging this bullet and what a moron he is. (This whole thread is reminding why I left lemmy. Insular, snotty, know-it-all, snobby, tribal, autistic... "You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful." BAM! Good luck brucethemoose, I'm out again.)

I don't know if you should go into a relationship with the intent to change them. You should enjoy them for them, not who you could make them.

"I can fix him" big energy

I know a great steakhouse with phenomenal vegan dishes, but like I let my friends know about the vegan quarter of the menu if they have diet restrictions that you would think precludes steakhouses.

I'm not taking a vegan to Schmidt's Palace of Meat if they don't have a decent vegan menu. I think the only vegan thing they have is smoked corn.

I know many people who have become vegetarian because of their partner

My wife and I have specific diet restrictions. Mine is uncommon, hers is not. She gave up the foods that would force me to bleach the whole damn kitchen every fucking day if she kept some in the fridge. Her restriction doesn't send her to the hospital but I give her the same respect she gives me and don't eat those foods at home. Likewise she gets her [food that causes me to die] and I get my [food that makes her moderately ill] at restaurants. And we don't bring those leftovers (if there are any) home. They go straight in the staff fridge at our respective workplaces. That's just what we do though.

You're correct about the equivalence of meat eaters and chatbot users, but going in with "I'll fix em" is also a shitty way of conducting personal relationships.

Wall of text but true and real

90% of Lemmy is comments about fake posts.

Divided and conquered.

If someone's first thought to make an important decision is to ask a computer to do it for them, I'd cancel too.

I want to know what YOU think, not what a clanker thinks you should think.

That's the thing, that involves coming up with six ideas and picking one via random chance. You still gotta make the ideas.

Asking Charlie Kirk for date ideas

It’s all the valuable input of the I Ching, plus environmental destruction!

Are you for real? For me it just keeps spewing out locations and events that do not exist or that have been closed since forever

If it does it, it does, no need to explicitly and proactively credit it.

It's less about this specific isolated incident and more about what it suggests broadly about their behavior with respect to ChatGPT.

But even for this specific incident, I'd even say that while less controversial, saying "I'll just google up what to do" would also be a bit of a let down. It suggests a lack of thoughtfulness even if that's really what someone does. Ask for input and then come back with your plans without referring to how you are leaning on some tech, so the person can at least think maybe you put in a measure of actual thought and effert.

Why is googling it the alternative?

Since google is now using AI for all that shit, probably not.

Kicking and screaming we will go... or we'll be the new version of the hippies that bought farms and started compounds in the 70's.

The only thing that might save us is the price of AI scraping the web being so expensive it's not worth it and we get real search engines again.

We can't even be saved by social media local scopes because the stores and event managers are using AI, the social media is using it to deliver the results to us.

It's shitty, but the guy just did the equivalent of running an ai enabled google or facebook search.

…why?

They think it's their friend and will defend it to the death

In my field I see a lot of AI reliance with men, and to a lesser extent with women. I don't know if the difference between the sexes is actual or observation bias.

Uh, perhaps men more than women but every man?

What are you saying? All men are AI-psychotic or all AI-psychotic people are men? Either way it's wrong.

The first claim is disproved by this community. Plenty of men here.

The second claim is disproved by r/myboyfriendisai. Plenty of women there.

Its just you. I don't use it and as far as I know I'm a man. I may have missed a memo though.

AI is a sycophancy machine, and men will basically do anything you want if you glaze them.

Well, I am venting to a void, but it is preferable to laying yourself vulnerable to humans.

There are studies that do prove men tend to fall into the trap of relying on LLM tools more than women. It's a massive stretch to say that virtually every single one does, I smell a whiff of misandry with that statement.

As a man, I do not fuck around with fancy autocomplete that is marketed as artificially intelligent, it is cursed for so many reasons. If I sacrifice my ability to think, reason, and create...Then I am nothing but a husk that lives for the sake of billionaires. That cannot be allowed to happen, ever.

Just having preferences and a personality would be even better!

Instead, a better idea would be, especially in an established relationship is to write your partner's favorite things, activities, food places down on a piece of paper...Associate them with a number and do some dice rolls with them present! That would be fun, show that you actually care and pay attention. Instead of leaving it to a fucking soulless slop engine that might serve misinformation as an answer, to spit out an unconsidered choice.

Cancelling is literally the opposite of ghosting. And I’m pretty sure plans he made himself (or even just not telling he had ai help with that) would be perfectly fine.

You must be a young man... The issue is not being human which human is vunerable, clumbsy and creative . Don't let your fear stop you from thinking and speaking your mind. Thats all you really have to offer. You don't need a chatbot to think for you. I think we have broken the "western world" and turned it into a tradgic comedy.

The issue wasn't about asking for input. The issue was that he said point blank that he was just going to toss that input into ChatGPT, which suggests a general lack of thoughtfulness and probably a tendency for conversations that feel like being passed through to ChatGPT. No matter how useful output from ChatGPT may be to the user, it's almost always horrible to receive ChatGPT output from another person.

Some poor guy? Summoned up the courage?

This tweet is about a fucking widow you acorn

some of the dumbest people I know are men.

gestures at the world in general

Are you sure, Sparky? ARE YOU SURE!?

So many fuckin men are sooo fuckin dumb what the fuck are you even talking about

He asked her what she wanted to do so he could feed it into chat GPT which would then output a date suggestion.

He basically asked her to give him an AI prompt so it could plan a date instead of him doing it.

Using AI to choose a date venue is low effort. It is not "research" and the "wrong tool."

To spell it out, dating is about getting to know a potential partner and to let that partner get to know you. When I choose a date, I share a part of myself, a restaurant I love, a movie special to me or a cozy coffee of conversation.

To be in an art class together, a museum and coffee would have most likely been the perfect first date where the asker shows the askee some of their favorite works.

To outsource the emotional labor of a relationship, especially so early on where everything is exciting and new is not a good sign, male or female. Dr. Moose, something is wrong with you that you reacted this strongly to a quippy little post.

Just asking a chat bot and then going with its suggestion is as much "research" as stopping a random kid on the street and asking them for a suggestion and then just trusting it at face value and going with it.

Sure, doing that can be a starting point for research (by actually checking that suggestion out, maybe asking for more suggestions from other sources and checking those out), but by itself it's literally the lowest effort possible thing one can do to obtain an option.

There's being cheap in a money sense and there's also being cheap in an effort sense, at that guy was definitelly putting the minimum effort possible into coming up with evening plans.

Ultimatelly it boils down to whether you're into women which expect more from a guy on a date than minimum effort or prefer the airhead or desperate kind who will take pretty much anything.

This woman being 12 years a widow is probably in her late 30, early 40s, so way more likelly to be the former type than the latter as most people get more complex and gain increased expectancies with age and, especially, experience.

Mind you, those are perfectly valid preferences either way, but they're entirelly on YOU - your preference - not on women in general. Stick to the kind you like and if you're having problems finding those, well, that's a you problem.

Hey hey hey. It's probably a smut book. So let's give credit where it's due