‘R-tarded’ is a slur, and I’m sick of otherwise “liberal” people going along with the right’s move to renormalize it
9 months ago by andros_rex to c/unpopularopinion
There’s a clear campaign against the mentally ill with the global rise of fascism. Lots of it shows up in anti homeless rhetoric, but you can see it in the MAHA and anti vaccination movements.
There’s no reason to use the word “r-tarded” to describe someone. As someone who’s worked with the intellectually challenged, it’s an insult to them to compare them with people who are willfully ignorant.
If a group of people are telling me this word was and continues to be used as a dehumanizing slur, that’s enough for me to look into a vocabulary change. More importantly, the very existence of a euphemism treadmill shows that you can’t stop at language change, and that disabled people need to be much more fully accepted in society.
I got a lot of hate in this thread but I agree with you. We need to much more accepting of people in society disabled or just different. A word change makes you feel good but doesn't actually do anything. A business with a curb should be required to have a ramp also, for wheelchairs. I wish there was a some sort of option for drive-thru for deaf people. A person with autism who gets overly stimulated by people close should be allowed to ask for personal distance.
Which gets to the larger problem - the dehumanization of people with intellectual and cognitive disabilities. Being such a person is considered such a bad thing that it can be used as an insult. Whatever terminology we use, people with cognitive delays are just as human, just as valuable as anyone else.
Being such a person is considered such a bad thing that it can be used as an insult.
I mean, yes? Ultimately that's exactly what an insult is. Think of the other words we use as curses and insults. Asshole. Mother fucker. Bitch. Cunt. Dick. Shit(head). Dumbass. Pendejo. Cabron.
Do you want to be something stinky (asshole, cunt, dick, shit), or something disliked (bitch, mother fucker)? Do you want to be like the people who the terms moron, idiot, imbecile, retarded, handicapped, or disabled are describing? Hell, extend it to other things. If someone 6 feet tall was calling you, a 5'4" man, a midget, it's not like your height suddenly will change if the term is accepted for you, it's because you don't want to be perceived as someone short enough to be termed appropriately as such.
And as much as we can all consider everyone human to be just as valuable as any other human, people aren't suddenly going to want to be short, or have low intelligence / ability to learn/comprehend/adapt. This is why I ultimately have given up on policing the language in general. We are forever locked into the cycle of words becoming inappropriate, because the vast majority of folks genuinely abhor the idea of becoming something like those words are describing, whether its mental ability, height, likeability, worth, etc. You're not going to change that, ever.
People with cognitive delays are just as human and just as valuable as anyone else
Precisely! 100% agree.
I also want to add that I don't disagree with people who say that there's a cyclical pattern with words becoming taboo and being replaced. That's obviously a fact. But the fact that language evolves doesn't give us license to be assholes.
Ultimately, the only thing that will improve things is educating the average person about the topic. But calling out ableist language - whether the person using such language intends that meaning or not - is often a good starting point for education (for those willing to learn.)
Also, what most people don't understand is that developmental delays and cognitive deficiencies are a spectrum and can occur across different types of cognition. For example, I'm what today you might call "doubly special" - I was far ahead in some areas but far behind in others. I still am, to a degree.
So should people use the names for people like me to refer to assholes who intentionally hurt other people's feelings? I certainly wouldn't like it if they did. Regardless of how much I might accidentally piss people off or hurt their feelings, it's rarely my intention to make people feel that way and and I'd rather not have someone else's moral failing conflated with my struggle to communicate in ways most people understand.
Placing bets. 30 years from now "Autistic" is going to be on the same chopping block. It's already making it's rounds as a general insult with the kids, just like retarded did when I was growing up.
If anything isn't using the currently still correct medical term as an insult more offensive than using the outdated one that has become a generic insult? At least as far as being offensive to people with the condition, rather than those offended on their behalf.
That's a damn good point.
It already is.
I think it's naive to think that THIS time is special, and today's politically correct terminology won't ever leak out into common usage as a slur too.
I think it's naive to think that at those times in the past the people who used clinical terms as insults weren't doing something bad so that we shouldn't worry about it happening today.
Right, so then we rotate words again. This isn't hard. We're not trying to find the One True Politically Correct Term; we're arguing that one (1) specific word has a negative bias and we need to stop using it.
Look we can't call each other retards because other people will get triggered for us...
Besides every sane person knows that in common speech this is just means "extremely stupid" with no derogatory intent.
The derogatory intent is directed at the insult target, not an uninvolved group of people, is what they meant.
How else would you refer to people with below average critical thinking skills who perform actions without understanding or considering the consequences.
Please keep your answer non-derogatory.
I meant derogatory towards disabled people.
Riiiiight, in the same way people used to pair it with motions mimicking cerebral palsy? Do you also believe that didn't have derogatory intent towards people with disabilities and only meant "extremely stupid"? 🙄
These stupid wars on words IMHO is the reason why "liberals" were regarded as a joke prior to trump election
Like banning "master" in github as well as dumb, regex based words filters in chats. Oh you want to mention the "beta version"? Too bad, a social justice warrior decided that "beta" is now offensive, you have to change your language so that you wont affect the hypothetic easily offendable persons
While this is technically correct, when you say "we're switching the default branch name from master to main to be less culturally insensitive", you kind of imply that people who continue using master are culturally insensitive. And nobody likes being called that (generally), so it still feels like a ban to people.
That implication is correct?
Look, if it's pointed out that "x" makes some minorty uncomfortable, but you keep using "x", you are culturally insensitive to that minority. You can choose to be, nobody would care if you're not a person/company with milliona of followers.
That's entirely assuming that there indeed is a sizeable minority that have reason to be offended and indeed are offended. In the cited example above, that wasn't the case so there was significant controversy surrounding what was perceived as "performative activism" that benefitted noone.
While they are incorrect about the specific term, their main point is correct. "Slave" was removed from the terminology. Same with Blacklist and Whitelist. They are no longer the preferred terms.
Wait, you're not supposed to say blacklist and whitelist anymore? Shit.
Now it's CaucasianList and AfricanAmericanList.
Nope. Blocklist and Allowlist I believe. Because despite having no racist origins, "black" being the "bad" list and "white" being the "good" list made some people uncomfortable. It's the perfect example of meaningless surface level changes imo
Why does one automatically associate black with bad and white with good? Think about it.
Remember that we also do things subliminally. So black = bad rubs off on people who can be called "black".
Wtf?
"Morally banning". But you got my point
Here's the thing, the word doesn't matter... It's the intent. For example if I said "well aren't you a fucking genius" and meant it sarcastically that's just as insulting. I could also say "you gobflecker" in a aggressive tone that also bad.
An example is the old show red dwarf. The replaced every curse word with smeg. Smeg doesn't mean anything. But in the show when one character calls another a "smeghead". You know it's not nice and meant to be an insult even though they never said or explained that in the show.
Banning a word won't do anything. Ban the attitude and change people's opinions and you can change the world. For example women, not saying they are treated well by everyone but compared to 200 years ago? Or even further back? For example there was a "treatment" for women who dared consider working. They were basically forced to bed and forced to stay there only hand few broth for 6 months. They literally just had to lay there, no talking no reading no such thing as a video. Today they are treated much better, it wasn't by banning the world girl or bitch or vagina or anything it was by changing people's perception.
Yeah. We've been down this road before. Believe it or not but all those african american navy seals with gay brothers who also were active duty military? Yeah, they were just shitty white kids who wanted to say nr and ft a lot. Who'da thunk it?
No. It is about showing the absolute bare minimum of human decency to change your vocabulary and avoid using slurs that people have to constantly hear from people who AREN'T actually african american navy seals with gay brothers and all that.
Ban the attitude and change people’s opinions and you can change the world.
And a huge chunk of that is to stop saying fucking slurs.
but compared to 200 years ago? Or even further back?
Homie... are you ACTUALLY playing the "You could be property so shut the fuck up if I want to say a slur" card?
Also, I strongly suggest anyone who thinks "history" was a no woman's land or was all about racial purity to actually do some research. Shockingly, things were actually a LOT more "progressive" than they would expect with most bigotry and hatred being more oriented towards killing those Others across the channel. Most of the "We used to be a whole lot more racist and sexist" is, shockingly, from racist and sexist people who want to "make great again".
Abraham Lincoln famously said "Free those fucking n****rs", right? Okay, actually a LOT of the politicians and white people of that era were ridiculously racist but that is why things continued to boil over until the 60s... and then continue on since then.
But yes. A huge part of things IS behavioral. And the language people use is a huge part of that. Because when someone says "Hey, that word is a slur and is hurtful" and the response is "Fuck off, I am not treating you like property so be happy with what you've got"... the behavior is pretty abhorrent as well.
Ban the attitude and change people’s opinions and you can change the world.
And a huge chunk of that is to stop saying fucking slurs.
Thank you for this, I feel like I'm taking crazy pills reading some of these comments. I'm shocked how hard this is to grasp for people.
I mean... just look at elon musk.
conservatives (and, if your stance is that "I can't change my language just because people decided it is suddenly offensive" then you are fundamentally conservative), think the pinnacle of humanity is 20-30 years ago. Generally when they were teenagers or whatever the fuck musk is doing with cultivating his entire life to be the kind of person who posts on 4chan about how LUE over on gamefaqs banned them.
And... 20 or 30 years ago the various funny people on TV were casually dropping slurs like r****d.
And then you just have the normal response to any pushback or criticism on The Internet. People spend 28 hours a day watching Content at 1.5x speed where they are constantly reinforced to their world view (or, more often, the world view of their favorite influencer...) because of The Algorithm. ANYTHING that is not telling them exactly what to do or think is met with scorn.
And when someone says something that goes against that worldview? It is "disingenuous" or "gaslighting" because it is not just a question on if they need to improve as a human being... it is actively opposed to their very existence. It is like they had been wearing red tinted glasses for years and someone said "Actually the sky is blue, not purple".
lol, retard isnt even close to the n-word and it's annoying as fuck when people try to compare the two.
there's a joke (john mullaney, i think?) that goes if you got two words...and one word you won't even say...that word is the worse word
Plenty of chuds will gladly say n****r...
Why not? If the goal is to annoy or insult, why wouldnt you use that word, or any word? You are supposed to be trying to annoy the person, to insult them. Why the fucking fuck are you trying to be nice during your insult??? The only reason not to use it, is because its easy. You want to be at least a little creative and get some colour into your insults.
Imagine if people just didnt say that word because they didnt want to, and not because there was a social stigma around it. Woudnt that make the world so much easier to navigate?
Yeah, just looking at all the banned words. It seems more like its the "R" sound people dont like...
The word doesn't matter, it's the intent.
Eh, maybe, but words communicate intent. By stigmatizing certain messaging - which can include both reserving certain words for only certain use cases and also shaming people who express bigotry regardless of what word they happen to choose - we communicate to third party observers that such views are not welcome in our society. Will it change the mind of the person using those words? Probably not, but avoiding hurtful words still has a great deal of positive social utility.
I don't know, I don't think the specific word is that meaningful. A new slur will likely be made for mentally disabled people, then it will get pushback and then another one will be made.
If I translated it to hindi or German or swahili it wouldn't mean anything but if I walked up to you and yelled them at you you would probably be hurt. If I said them lovingly and softly you probably would be comforted.
The problem with having these conversations on the internet is there is no way to express that so... Maybe... I could see the point of banning potentially offensive words in text on the internet.
I mean the word will still be used as a slur by those who are rude and want to be offensive. I see this whole conversation to be about people who may have casually used the word but they generally try to be a good person who doesn’t insult and attack others. They may not have known certain words beyond some of the famous race slurs that everyone knows are bad. Non racial slurs have been more a grey area.
If I translated it to hindi or german or swahili it wouldn't mean anything [to you]
Well, yeah. There may not be a word in those languages with the same connotations, and yeah, obviously I wouldn't understand them if there were. But all language is contextual. We're currently talking about english - and I'm specifically talking about United States English because that is what I speak.
Censorship wouldn't be my choice - and in any case I believe what's being advocated for here by the OP is social disapproval - but yeah, in the context of the internet I would refrain from using words that could hurt people when it was not my intention to hurt them.
Around strangers, coworkers, or really anyone you don't know well a similar policy would tend to apply. Even with friends, I wouldn't want to encourage a culture of being callous with the words I use.
There are so many other ways to express whatever sentiment you're trying to express, why would you reach for a word that implies that some people are less than others? I'm referring to it in its use as an insult or derogatory word, of course, since technical language has its place and institutions will generally choose whatever language fits their needs. I can't assess their situation because I'm not involved.
I think we are arguing the same thing. Don't be mean or an asshole. Don't look down on people. People regardless of ability should be treated as people.
Of course you shouldnt use it as an insult or derogatory word. I was totally not arguing for that. I was just saying that if you wanted to be insulting or derogatory the word itself doesn't matter. The change to r-word doesn't change anything. The question "are you r-worded?" should be just as offensive.
We have down this many times. Stupid, invalid, ibecil all had similar meanings and then were made offensive and a new word was made up, then that became offensive.
The word itself is meaningless, it's the context and intent.
One thing I just thought of that I would agree with is changing it from an identifier to attribute. What I mean is a person should not "be r-word-Ed" but should be do you "have r-word-ism?" it shouldn't define a person, but a description of an aspect is different. Like you may have the flu but your not a "fluer" or you might have epilepsy but you may also be a mechanic or pianist or physicist it's a part but should not define you.
I'm unaware of an existent group of people for whom the term "smeg" is or historically was thier actual designation?
It isn't about not insulting someone, it's about using language that refers to actual people who haven't done anything wrong.
It's like if suddenly everyone decided to call a pedophile a Vrek. You maybe wouldn't love that suddenly people are invoking YOU to talk about pedophiles.
That's the kind of collateral damage people are trying to avoid.
I've for sure said things are retarded. I'm no saint. I've got mixed feelings... but I think your take on the subject is poorly informed. I think you've missed the entire premise of the argument against using the word.
I don't think anyone is saying that clinical language doesn't have a use. If anything, it's the use of these words as general-purpose insults that makes them unfit for clinical use, not the other way around.
I think the argument is whizzing over your head too.
The logical breakdown here is pretty simple:
Argument #1 (OP): It's probably not good to use disadvantaged groups as a slur.
Argument #2 (You and most others): Well if we do that then I don't have words to degrade people.
These are completely orthogonal arguments, and I sincerely have sympathy for both. I genuinely do think there is communicative value in having words that illicit the intended response of calling someone's argument "retarded". I know what I mean. You know what I mean. It actually has nothing to do with people who are actually handicapped. It's effective communication... it just has an unfortunate BYPRODUCT.
But not having slurs isn't a counter-argument to the thesis that using disadvantaged groups as slurs is bad.
Strawmanning it as "PC gone mad" is just a convenient way to avoid actually addressing the concern head on.
Like, just be a fucking man: "Yeah, it probably isn't good to use disadvantaged groups as slurs, but I'm at a loss for language that satisfies that while also effectively getting the content and TONE of my communication across, so I'm going to use it anyways. Not everythingi do is ideal."
As soon as you abandon the ego-sheltering delusion that you don't do things that are probably not great, you can actually think about things objectively without hitting a mental panic button the second you're forced to evaluate a legitimate position in which your current behaviors would be evaluated as bad.
For example there was a “treatment” for women who dared consider working. They were basically forced to bed and forced to stay there only hand few broth for 6 months
Yeah, I'm gonna need a source on this because it sounds like a wild facebook post.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bed_rest look under the history tab.
Here’s the thing, the word doesn’t matter… It’s the intent. For example if I said “well aren’t you a fucking genius” and meant it sarcastically that’s just as insulting. I could also say “you gobflecker” in a aggressive tone that also bad.
That's how I insult here: write scathing vitriol that replaces derogatory words with equivalent meanings, condescendingly disparages generalities about the insultee without referring to them specifically. It offends them more & makes a better insult.
"Smeg" does mean something. Its the white crap that forms under your foreskin if you never wash your dick.
Smeg is short term slag for smegma. Yes, its also kitchen brand. But the context of the show, and the popular slang term of the time, it meant smegma.
this is very likely true and it is fair to assume from your username that you're familiar with uk slang/slurs. also probably fair to assume that grant/naylor would deny it if asked
smeg certainly means dickcheese but i'd guess before being popularised by red dwarf it wouldn't have replaced other four letter words in constructions like smeg head, smeg off, smeg you etc
on the subject, with 'gimboid' they were ahead of their time in using the -oid suffix for insults
I've stopped using it as people have pointed out it's hurtful, but I've never fully understood why. To me it's in the same group as idiot, fool, lunatic, imbecile and cretin. Words that aren't used to describe conditions anymore, only used as insults. While they can be used with hatred, they can also be used in a teasing way with friends. To me it doesn't reach the level of racist, sexist and homophobic slurs.
I wanted to learn more and found a paper that makes the case that ableist insults are slurs. Download it here
I think it's more about the idea that it's shameful to be less able than someone else. The core idea here is that there's nothing wrong with being less intelligent than average, and calling out people's choice of words is only one part of that.
It's like when people make fun of Trump's weight/diet or RFK Jr.'s voice. I dislike those two just as much as the next person, but there's nothing immoral or shameful about having a vocal condition, being overweight, or having a monotonous diet. And any health concerns (e.g. weight) should be left between a person and their doctor.
If you choose to make those things a subject of your ridicule, all it does is mark you as a shallow person, and I'm probably going to tune you out as someone who doesn't have anything of substance to say.
I think it's more about the idea that it's shameful to be less able than someone else. The core idea here is that there's nothing wrong with being less intelligent than average, and calling out people's choice of words is only one part of that.
That argument isn't specific to any particular word though. You could say it about any word that insults intelligence, not just the one in question here.
That's a great point, but I don't see how that would justify using this specific word.
Honestly, it’s not a word in my vocabulary but I think this opinion is moronic, idiotic even.
The only reason it continues to be offense to those living with mental disabilities is because there are people like yourself who keep attributing the word to them.
Oh oh do the n-word!
The n-word isn't going through a continuous euphemism tread mill, unlike how r word variants continue to go through. That, I think, makes it substantially different --- though in truth it's the same for it as well
I love the word retard. I care about people with intellectual disabilities. I don't mean them when I say it.
Imo idiot should be considered just as offensive to people who want to ban the word retard. It's pretty much got the exact same history and stigma connected to it. Although I'm sure there are some who also want to ban the word idiot.
Wasn't there someone on lemmy that loves to explain this one? Something like idiot, retarded, stupid, and moron corresponding to approximate mental 'ages' that were used in the early 1900s?
I have certainly encountered that on Lemmy.
There are a ton of people who think idiot is ableist yeah.
I mean I respect the dedication but my line is drawn before I get that far. And if me not thinking the same as them is a line for them, so be it.
So the solution to mean people co-opting medical language to be bullies is to ....move to another term and change the vernacular we accept from doctors so they use different words the bullies can then co-opt?
Have you tried an approach that isn't running and hiding?
The euphemism treadmill. It's pretty...uhhhh......dumb
Hi, healthcare worker here. The r-slur hasn't been used in the medical profession for decades. But hey, feel free to come up with more justifications for why it's totally fine for you to call people slurs.
Policing the hell out of language, while well intentioned, creates a backlash effect that I think actually hurts us more these days. Look at how they originally attacked "political correctness" in the 90s - because we were trying to code some improvements into language. Now people openly laugh at us for not having a solution to homelessness besides renaming them "unhoused."
Be far easier to just let the R word become the word it has become, which doesn't describe mental illness or disability anymore, much like "idiot" and "moron" and "imbecile" were once used as medical terms, and now they have none of that meaning.
Languages evolve. It's a very common thing for descriptors of negative things to become slang for insults. Not to say we should be encouraging this behavior, but rather that policing it is ineffective at best.
Effective solutions address the underlying issues
(Destigmatization of ailments is a good thing, but doing so by stigmatizing the words themselves often has a Streisand effect)
No dude, the PC mob in the 90s were pricks trying to police language. The result came in the 2010s when the UK enacted Section 5 of public order act. Which say a kid arrested and actually in fucking court for calling a horse "gay". And other for saying "woof" to a fucking dog!
The problem is that all those people who wanted that shit, were just thin skinned little bitches. And now that virtue signalling is all the rage, everything is offensive now. "Sticks and stones and may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.". Yet here we are, and everyone is clutching their pearls over anything that will get them a worthless up arrow.
Part of free speech is about being allowed to offend people. You are totally free to criticise the person, and whatever he or she might be saying and who they are saying it too. But the fundamental right to offend is something that should be protected by all of us. Or one day, you might just find yourself in trouble with the law, because someone claims to be offended at using the word "fascist" because what you called fascist, didnt rise to horrors of history attributed to that.
And now we have the online safety act in the UK, which is spreading to other countries where you have to show ID to use social media among other things, when it was only ever supposed to be used for porn sites.
But dont take my word for it. Mr Bean said it much better than I ever could:
Now people openly laugh at us for not having a solution to homelessness besides renaming them "unhoused."
As long as one ignores all the solutions that capitalists dont like, sure. We also cant figure out why people starve while we're at it.
I get what you are saying but if idiotic and imbecile are still available as insults and are further from medical definition than retard then why not just use them instead? The point being is that retard still has the bite of comparing the person to the mentally disabled and the others don’t.
Wouldn't it be nice if all pejorative terms of mental incapacity went the way of idiot & imbecile? Why shelter derogatory words[^shelter] from ameliorating?
When a term begins as pejorative and eventually is adopted in a non-pejorative sense, this is called melioration or amelioration. One example is the shift in meaning of the word nice from meaning a person was foolish to meaning that a person is pleasant.
[^shelter]: perpetuating stigmatization
You're comparing apples to oranges. Attempting to change "homeless" to "un-housed" is different from just not using a slur — you're assuming that non-derogatory terms don't exist for neurodiverse people; there are no "improvements" to be made, just exercising some discretion. You shouldn't be using slurs just because it'll turn acceptable soon or because everyone else is using it; if there are people that feel hurt by it and have a history of being marginalized by such usage, you don't have the right to use it; that is if you are a morally sound person that doesn't care about BS buzzwords like "political correctness".
you don't have the right to use it
So you are about language policing.
Go pound sand.
You aren’t being “policed.” The point is the problem is the dehumanization of people with intellectual delays, who are a group currently being target by the fascist government of the US, and probably other fascist governments at the moment. Disability rights are fucking invisible, and language like that goes with that problem.
It’s not about being “offended,” it’s pointing out that words mean things. Some people are hurt by your language. Why isn’t that enough to consider what you are saying and why.
they mean things to you.
they don't mean those same things to other people.
just like if I say the word sabaka, it doesn't mean anything to you, but since i speak russian, it has meaning to be.
you find the word retard upsetting. Cool. I don't. I find the word heteronormativity upsetting, also emotional intelligence. maybe you don't.
Ah yes, let all those white kids say "the rapper word" (as it was known in my time), slavery is over, segregation is over, those who still discriminate are just jerks, and being black is a nice filter to know who your real friends are. /s
What’s the next euphemism we should switch to?
For a while there in the 90’s, “differently abled” looked like it was next on the treadmill.
Words for stupid or crazy are always going to be used as insults.
My nieces introduced me to "short bus" as an insult instead of retarded.
It was over 25 years ago.
So yeah, insults have already moved on and people complaining about using "retarded" sound like boomers.
The fact that it's still currently used as a euphemism for people with actual conditions like down syndrome is precisely why it's problematic to use it as an insult. Previous words used in decades past are only insults now and no longer used as a euphemism for the condition.
The *r slur is intentionally cruel in a way that stupid can't match, since stupid is more generic and versatile.
Maybe the *r slur doesn't need a replacement, we can just hold ourselves to a higher standard, and drag things without comparing them to someone with a disability.
Accurate.
Except "stupid" was just a word, not medical terminology.
This page has great examples, including toilet and shit.
I find it difficult to imagine a future in which humans aren't making fun of impaired cognition.
I think the context is what's most important, if anyone actually directs such language (be it retarded, idiot, etc) towards people with genuine mental impairment, that constitutes a slur. But the word 'retarded' literally means 'slow', and is still regularly used (including by myself) in scientific and technical contexts (compared to racist or homophobic slurs, which are only ever really used in a 'slur' kind of way).
I wouldn't really have a problem with calling people 'slow' in jest, and I don't think many would. Imo if not 'retarded', it'll be something else with the same meaning.
So it's fine to say that ICE is retarded?
That doesn't really work as an argument when slow is also used as a euphemism for people with mental disabilities. Saying "it literally means slow, I'm calling them slow" just makes it sound like you're still being ableist. I don't believe calling someone slow as an insult is ableist, I'm only saying that the train of thought feels goofy. Like, "oh? You weren't trying to use the slur usage of the word and were using the technical usage? The technical usage that means slow? Another word people use as an insult and a euphemism for the exact same kinds of people and scenarios as the other one?"
This was always my issue with /murderedbywords. It was always someone saying a lot of flaff and rarely ever 'punched' the target. The few good ones threw out 'creativity' and just flat out insulted the other. Imaginative often just makes others think of you as silly, and when you're at the point of being insulting, it's all about feels and influencing others quickly.
It does mean delayed. In car engines the spark is advanced or retarded.
I certainly support not using it as describing a person as “delayed,” but there are non-offensive uses such as vehicle ignition timing can be advanced or rétarded. (Accent used here only to bypass the filter)
Alright I'll finally ask: In my Lemmy app ("Boost for Lemmy" on Android) your post's first sentence shows "In my language removed is used". I'm assuming the word you originally typed has been censored, but I'm not sure if this is a Lemmy thing, a lemmy.ml thing, or some app setting I missed.
Can others view the uncensored version of your post? Because then it's probably something to do with the app I'm using.
Been bugging me for months.
It’s because .ML is retarded.
https://github.com/LemmyNet/lemmy/issues/1464
Instances can choose words to go into a slur filter. They get auto removed. If it's your home instance doing it then every instance will see the removed version.
Thanks you, makes sense!
It isn’t .world. I’m on piefed.social I show your first message with removed and a couple comments down I see the actual word, so it’s something on .ml
Here goes nothing...
removed
Edit: Well I'm certainly not able to post the word, but I'm still unsure if this is a Boost, .ml, or thread instance thing.
Ironically, the term "mental retardation" was introduced by medical and educational professionals as a less derogatory and more objective replacement for older, highly stigmatizing terms like idiot, moron, and imbecile, which themselves were previous medical classifications.
isn't it kind of divorced from the mentally ill at this point? it just means that someone is slow, which is exactly what retardation is.
Retarded isn't a slur.
N*****, Wet****, K*ke, G**k are slurs.
"Demons" is a derogatory term. You should use "Mortally Challenged"
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No, but then that word has very few uses beyond slurs. The word 'retard', however, has many uses in technical fields - for example in setting internal combustion engine timings, or throttle settings in aviation. As always, context matters.
The N word is based off negro which is just black. Calling someone black isn't an insult so the only connotation would be to be racist. Retard is based on slow and I would want to call someone slow and imply what they're saying is moronic, so it literally fits perfectly. That said it's still used as a slur pretty often and it's purely a negative word so I still don't really use it.
I'm not offended by "removed" because of its shape, I'm offended by it because it takes me back to when Meathead John crushed my throat in the playground calling me it until I would ask him to beat up the boy i liked instead.
Words represent, communicate and are something. Humans have for the entirety of their use of language, understood that the signifier and the signified are interchangeable.
I'm very sorry for your experience, but without knowing you and your history, I can't possibly know all of that. So I'm left with two choices - sharply limit my vocabulary in the hopes of avoiding making some random person feel bad; or acknowledge that each adult is best qualified to carry and deal with their own traumas.
You don't have to limit your vocabulary at all, you merely cannot escape the perception of others based on your behavior.
It's not even limited to humans either - animals, insects will perceive and treat you differently depending on your behavior.
Nothing prevents you from kicking a dog, but the dog and anyone who knows about it will treat you accordingly.
Sure, but if you equate me with someone who kicks a dog just because I talk about master or slave database nodes, or the need to retard message rates - I'm also going to treat you accordingly.
You use that many slurs that avoiding making some random person feel bad sharply limits your vocabulary?
sucks for you.
my dad used to beat me and call be f-word all the time. but i 100% don't see any issue with other people using it.
not everyone who experiences the same things as you comes to the same conclusions you do. post-structuralist theory isn't really so hot these days, but you seem to have referenced it as authoritative to your belief in controlling words.
Well that's why this sub exists - it is not a matter of fact but a matter of opinion. It's not even a matter of settled law in most places, or at least subject to scrutiny under precedent or context.
I agree its certainly an unpopular opinion and relevant to the sub, but posting an unpopular opinion in a space designated for such opinions does not mean that opinion becomes acceptable.
People aren't upset about the word. They're upset with the people using the word. Telling people to not use the word like that is how they're "directing that hate." People are already doing the thing you're saying they should do.
That's a retarded opinion.
Changing words doesn't change the emotions the person is feeling. They'll just find a new word to put those emotions into and the cycle starts again. It's the Euphemism Treadmill. You need to change people/society. Acting like removing a word solves the whole problem is well, retarded.
Retarded is a word that is now used exclusively to talk about people who are not mentally ill acting like dumb fucking cunts. Like, its totally retarded to see people getting upset at Trump being called a retard... If you hear the word, and you think about actual disabled people. Thats a you thing. Cos I promise you, no one else is.
No one is looking at this, and thinking that anyone else, but Trump, is a fucking retard.
It's like that South Park episode with the bikers.
Well, no, Trump was specifically mimicking a specific reporter with a congenital joint condition in that image. So I don't really get why you don't think that's Trump not being disparaging. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-34930042
I think you need to read what I wrote again, Chief. Cos I never made that claim.
Retarded is a word that is now used exclusively to talk about people who are not mentally ill acting like dumb fucking cunts. Like, its totally retarded to see people getting upset at Trump being called a retard... If you hear the word, and you think about actual disabled people. Thats a you thing. Cos I promise you, no one else is.
No one is looking at this, and thinking that anyone else, but Trump, is a fucking retard.
Trump didn't call anyone ”stupid” when he did that. Nor did he even use that word you said he did. He was imitating someone with a disability.
Now, the poor guy, you’ve got to see this guy: 'Uhh, I don't know what I said. Uhh, I don't remember,' he's going like 'I don't remember. Maybe that's what I said'
The reporter he's talking about:
Again, you need to read what I wrote again. Because I didnt say what you are saying I said.
77 million votes, and he's the retard?
Yes, America has a retard problem. Theres at least 77 million of them...
Which brings up another abused word. Assholes are wonderfully exciting and mysterious.
Hahaja
I don't like the euphemism treadmill. Normalize all slurs. Get more creative with your language & learn how to reappropriate & reclaim.
The worst take I've seen on slurs is the online activism to make the noun female a slur. When I explain that their advocacy accepts a sexist premise that something is wrong with the name of an entire gender & thereby consents to the stigmatization of that gender, they erupt into an irrational rage.
The reason people have a problem with the noun female isn't because "there's something wrong with the name of an entire gender" it's because it's extremely often used in such a way that people (typically men) will refer to men as men and refer to women as females. It's why you may see the phrase "men and females" thrown around as a response.
(For the record, I think referring to women as well as men as females or males is pointlessly degrading. The noun version of those is acceptable for non-human animals, e.g. the males in a flock of birds.)
people (typically men) will refer to men as men and refer to women as females
Where
No I mean where in the wild? Because I only see women referred to as females in screengrabs from incel forums and incelposters on places like 4chan. Obviously if I went to reddit (which I don't), to a subreddit specifically for aggregating this behavior, I would see it. So where in the wild are you seeing "men and females"?
it’s because it’s extremely often used in such a way that people (typically men) will refer to men as men and refer to women as females. It’s why you may see the phrase “men and females” thrown around as a response.
Right, so the premise is there's something wrong with the word that names an entire gender. The campaign isn't "don't use 'men and females'", it's "don't use 'females'". They'll write about Ferengis whenever a suspected non-female uses female: they're not examining meanings & context to draw critical distinctions. 'Men and females' is merely a rationalization.
The effect: female is a slur, yet male isn't, so female is stigmatized. That disparity raises the impression that femininity has such deficiencies even their name is a term of abuse unworthy of pride, and that females are too frail without society coming to defend them from the adversity of their name. In contrast, masculinity is sufficient for its name not to raise adversity, and even if it did, males have the fortitude for society not to come to their defense. That unequal treatment of words implicates females disfavorably thereby stigmatizing them.
Think who that serves: is opposition to the noun “female” unwittingly subscribing to stigmatization & sexist thinking of those who’d welcome the stigmatization? The language police are playing themselves here.
Treating the word female like male, however, wouldn't raise such questions & impressions, and it wouldn't ostensibly support a sexist premise and play into its consequences.
Right, so the premise is there's something wrong with the word that names an entire gender.
How do you get that? The word "women" names an entire gender and isn't viewed as a problem. Why do you think the problem people have with "females" is because it names an entire gender?
It was already explained, it's the premise their activism supports by advocating the disparate treatment of female as a slur. From an external, impartial observer, claiming there's a problem with the word female with little regard for context communicates the problem resides in whatever the word itself denotes rather than the contextual meaning.
Moreover, the position they advocate is counterfactual. The language community decides the meaning of words through observed usage, and in the preponderance of the community, neither female nor woman is offensive. That includes among females. Female is used self-referentially “in-group”: it shows up in feminist book titles, in dating communities (eg, “F4F/M”), classifieds (eg, “need a roommate […] females only”), etc. In conventional language, female is an acceptable word (as is woman).
Imagine online activists started condemning usage of the word dutch as a slur. It's bizarre: there is nothing wrong with the dutch, yet they're acting as though we should think so & resist that urge? Why are they propagating problematic presuppositions we don't have about the dutch? Why are they trying to make this official? Are they some special breed of stupid?
Continuing this analogy, they drag you into fights by claiming you're a racist for using the word when you're not actually saying anything offensive about the dutch. You & the rest of society know the word dutch isn't offensive, yet these activists insist it is by pointing to some fringe online community spewing vitriolic propaganda about dutch inferiority specifically using the word dutch. You repudiate their claim by asking why some fringe group irrelevant to wider society gets to decide the meaning of words, but they condemn your "hurtful" language and say you're as bad as them or one of them. Don't be an asshole & use another word like Dutchperson, Netherlander, or Hollander they say: it's the right thing to do & shows socially conscientious, moral rectitude.
While our society includes both a minority of sexists & a vast majority of non-sexists who use the word female differently, these activists privilege the language & rhetoric of the sexist minority over the non-sexist majority. Why should the sexists get to decide the meaning of words for everyone & the unequal ideas to perpetuate in society? Who does that serve?
Older activists recognized that doesn't serve them & took a different approach. Against higher odds, black activists reappropriated the word black as a word of pride. Non-heteronormative activists did likewise with the word queer. Instead of antagonizing non-sexists by treating them as sexists or fulfilling an inferiority complex to make sexist language official, online language police would be wise to learn from the older activists & follow their example.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retard_(pejorative)
For context, until the 1960s, the terms moron, idiot, cretin, and imbecile were all genuine, non-offensive terms used, including by psychiatrists, to refer to people with mental intellectual disabilities and low intelligence. These words were discontinued in that form when concerns arose that they had developed negative meanings, with "retard" and "retarded" replacing them.[6][7] After that, the terms "handicapped" (United States) and "disabled" (United Kingdom) replaced "retard" and "retarded". Disabled is now considered a more polite term than handicapped in the United States as well.
And then in a decade or two people will have started to use the word disabled with a derogatory meaning and we can no longer use that word either.
"Special needs"
It has already started. It will start immediately with whatever word they come up with to replace it. If someone is being particularly stupid, someone else will find the strongest word they can to insult them. This will never change.
Already happening, and already being railed against. You can read a great many arguments from certain communities that decry anyone calling them disabled or handicapped.
It’s already started with sped
I saw this used as a slur many times before just today learning what it means
I don't particularly care one way or the other, but I know it really bothers some people, so I avoid using it. Best case scenario, I avoid making fun of a disability, worst case scenario, I had to go to all the trouble and effort of thinking of and using a synonym, such a terrible effort.
slurs are useful.
they are an escalation step that are words instead of physical violence.
making slurs illegals removes that step and leads the escalation straight to violence.
That is an unpopular opinion.
I never really understood the difference between insults and slurs. Somebody said that slurs target groups of people and imply that just being in the group is bad. That explanation works for ethnic/racial slurs or the ones regarding gender/sexualities.
But to me "retarded" is not specifically tied to a group. It's not mainly used for people who are disabled or neurodivergent for example. As far as I'm concerned it's the same as calling someone a moron or incredibly stupid.
it's historical and cultural context.
hence why words that were once common place, become seen as heinous.
but it's not like words are the only thing for which this is true. just look at say, attitudes towards sex.
and the moralists about sex/words will argue that everyone else should do/believe what they do, or they are bad people.
Not slippery slope, euphemism treadmill
R-tard? Is that like something about Republicans?
I didn't realize the hyphen was meant for censorship instead of conjunction
context is important. when I call my friend steph a "stupid bitch", we both know she's not "stupid" nor a "bitch".
when I call a political leader retarded, I mean it in a derogatory way. a slur. in all the negative meanings as possible.
when I call a neurotypical person retarded, I mean it in the same way.
however, important context, it is never acceptable to use the word to describe someone who is intellectually challenged. it's not their fault, and they have zero control over their situation.
I think it's actually offensive to even compare intellectually challenged people to the word even.
I believe the word has purpose in the lexicon still, and that is describe the willfully ignorant in a visceral way that they are forced to take offense to it.
words can have more than one meaning. if it's not directed at you or used to discriminate against you, it should be perfectly acceptable to use words to describe.
this zero tolerance and censorship of words never ended well in history only because it's a constant battle of drawing lines in sand.
I know I'll probably get banned for this comment, but I still think I deserve to speak my opinion on this. you don't have to agree or disagree, I just want people to think for themselves and not fall into a dark pattern of censorship.
it's an entirely reasonable take. but context is hard for people and they fail to understand that other people are not them, and get very angry with other people don't behave the way they think they should.
And that's that person's problem.
OP, I just gotta say, I really agree with you, and I find it really disgusting the amount of people in this thread trying to renormalize it or argue that it's not problematic. This thread has been one of, if not the, most frustrating threads here over the past two years. Like I'm genuinely feeling gaslit by some of these comments. Do people not remember the voice people would use? Do people not remember the motions people would do? Those weren't just a mild way to call someone stupid. It was always ableist and still is today. Maybe in five to ten years I'll feel differently, like language really has moved on, but it doesn't feel like that's what's happening. It feels like people just being more comfortable being edgy.
Myself and many of my friends were called it a lot growing up, but we still said it to and about each other super often. Now I kinda think people should probably avoid it, but I don't think it's "disgusting" for people to think they can say it, it's very normalized and most people see it as a synonym for "you should know better than this" or "that is the dumbest thing ever." I've seen it used 500x more in those ways than actually against anyone (not saying it's rare people are called that, just extremely common to see it used not against anyone)
Society likes to keep change managable, so it retards progress.
People who are literally retarded are not the ones reading this post, or surfing the internet in general. People who are literally retarded can't read.
"bUt Im NeurOdiVERgent!"
Shut the fuck up. We're not talking about you. Lemmy seems to think they're all special mental cases. No, everything I see on here about ADHD and autism is mostly normal human foibles. My daughter is both, a little strange to me, nothing crazy, I can still relate to most of her "issues". I understand she sees the world differently than me, I try to adjust for that.
Growing up and navigating the most complex society we've ever faced, and didn't evolve for, can be quite a challenge. Suck it up buttercup. Recognize your strengths, recognize your weaknesses, don't be hurt by fucking words. If being called names breaks your spine, well, you're not going to do well on this planet.
The whole thing is made up hate by people who had their feelings hurt being called retarded in school. It's a 4th-grade insult that snowflakes have decided is now a "seriously harmful" term. I've been called the dreaded "F" word 1,000 times, so what? Didn't turn me gay or even hurt my fee fees.
In 5-years "stupid" will be outlawed. There will be a YouTube video of some teen crying their eyes out, relating how being called stupid ruined their whole life and now they have to kill themselves. "Idiot" will be banned by 2027. Any words that could possibly be understood as negative adjectives describing a human being will be verboten by 2030.
Bless your heart!
The whole thing is made up hate by people who had their feelings hurt being called retarded in school. It’s a 4th-grade insult that snowflakes have decided is now a “seriously harmful” term. I’ve been called the dreaded “F” word 1,000 times, so what? Didn’t turn me gay or even hurt my fee fees.
I reveled in embracing the insults thrown at me & feeling empowered about growing the backbone not to care. It saddens me that newer generations don't learn sticks and stones is really that simple & get so worked up over words.
They claim anyone is a Nazi for explaining to them offensive ideas aren't world ending & freedom of speech is worth protecting.
Lol, thanks, made me chuckle
I agree with you. Like I told a family member who made all the same arguments the people in these comments are making: "I am not trying to tell you what you can and cannot say. I'm telling you that if I hear you use language like that, I will respect you less and I will talk to you less or not at all. " We don't talk much anymore, and thats fine.
That’s really the main point. Getting around the “euphemism treadmill” and the idea of “policing speech” that have been the main points of most of the other comments - it’s not that I think it should be illegal to say it, but that I will think much less of you as a person. It takes so little effort to try to avoid words that people can be harmed by.
I think it reflects the way that the marginalization of disabled people is invisible in even “leftist” spaces. The severely cognitively delayed are usually shafted off into a “self contained” room, and so it’s really easy to have a warped picture of what someone with intellectual difficulties is like. I did a little program in college where I spent a lot of time with an adult day respite center - something like a “day care” for non-independent adults who lived with family. There were definitely a lot of things alien to me about the way they lived their lives but they were all human. They had stuff they liked - and it wasn’t “kid stuff.” They could express what they thought about the food they were eating, what they wanted to do, idk, the point is that they had the same basic right to agency that we all do. And this is something that not even the most “leftist” politicians or thinkers engage with at all. Conservatives ofc, seem to think we should just kill them or let them die.
Unfortunately I hear it from liberals frequently. Not to be confused with leftists, who are mostly a little more aware.
I thought it was widely accepted that you shouldn't use this word outside of, like, quoting old medical diagnosis from when the word was used in that context. It is not an okay insult.
Maybe I just hang out with nicer people.
Does that mean if I'm autistic I get an R- word pass?
+1
Maybe y'all haven’t experienced it as a slur. I grew up around jerks that did, and it leaves a nasty taste. I’ve caught myself using it, and felt awful afterwards.
Meh, where I grew up everyone got called all sorts on names - it was the Playground Way.
So yea, call me names, I really just don't care, and may even laugh when someone does it, because it takes me back to my childhood days, reminds me only children behave like that. Now I know who someone is, and how to manipulate them.
Not at all
My brother has a mental disability. Not his fault, doctors fucked up ab operation when he was a baby and he came out severely damaged. He has the intellectual level do about a 13 year old, but he mostly lives independently, he got his drivers license in a country where many people with full brain capacities cannot. Doctors told my mom after the operation to just dump him in some institution, because he'd never even talk. She told them to go fuck themselves.
I'm fucking proud of him (and my mom), because with severe limitations he really got himself ahead. I see him as a fucking genius.
Then there are retards like Elon musk who do have a full brain with full abilities but somehow fail to even surpass what my brother wasn't supposed to be able to do, yet by brother does it, these people do
I call people removed when they are supposed to be better but just chose to be lazy or not caring or just behave removed.
Is an insult against people who are supposed to be smart but behave like they have a mental disability, and I stand by that.
If you feel offended, the that is on you.
This is my stance on the word.
We use it regularly in engineering for this exact definition. Mentally disabled people typically operate in the best version of themselves nearly all the time (minus bad days, we all have em)
But people who have the potential to operate at their full capacity but choose not to are the very definition of the word.
I will definitely think it while standing in line behind someone for 15 minutes at a coffee shop who don't decide to even look at the menu until the cashier gets to them.
But I still don't say it, as intention and perception are competely unrelated.
I'd also add "you dumb fucker" hits about the same, without the fallout of "the R word"
I guess that's the part about people and taboo words I don't understand. A little fun flex in vocabulary can transmit the same sentiment without impacting others.
Tactical strike, not full fallout.
In IRL public I rarely use any strong language against anyone. On the internet and in private with people that know me, I tend to talk like a sailor, not apologizing for that.
In public, I know everyone has their story, everyone has their reason for making dumb mistakes, and oh man, have I made a few. I've acted removed on occasion too, not proud of that
Having said that, I really think people overreact with the word. I wish they would react like that when something actually bad happens, but usually then you hear crickets
I don't think intellectually challenged individuals deserve cruelty, nor do I believe anyone does. However, this is the first argument that popped into my head, and I want to genuinely discuss this. Again, I do NOT agree that the intellectually challenged are deserving of discrimination. This is for the purpose of discussion.
If being intellectually challenged isn't worthy of discrimination, why feel insulted when called retarded?
what if they are objectively inferior though? should we lie to them?
I have an autistic friend with the same opinion and I told him he was retar-wait...
No, an underhanded compliment/insult is not nearly as insulting as calling someone mentally disabled and using a slur to do it. I'm saying that as someone from the south where that phrase gets used often. I understand the context well.
I've decided to split the difference and now say someone is coated in an intellectual retardant.
Means the same, sounds the same, with no baggage.
That's our word.
OP, fuck these people.
Anyone who thinks that words mean nothing and that historical context is irrelevant are probably people who have never been on the receiving end of these words being used to dehumanize them.
And all of you people, would you also use:
Or did any of those make you feel wrong? Maybe you don't actually think that slurs should be used but instead don't realize the impact of r etard as opposed to whatever made you uncomfortable in that list.
This is a good post with some interesting conversation and points that came up because of it. Good job.
Who is renornalizing it?
They do have some special needs
It's my new word "R" tarded.
Its not my place to tell liberals whether they're allowed to use their people's word.
Wild how so many people in here can't seem to offend anyone without using slurs. It really speaks to a lack of skill and creativity. I offend people all the time, sometimes, I even offend people when I'm not even trying to. Get on my level, scrub.
But no, for sure, the only way to call out bigots is to use bigoted terms yourself. Yeah, that'll show them. Look, it's not like you want to use slurs, of course not, but using slurs is just the only possible way to call out bigots. Right.
Asshole.
Can you please a comprehensive list of "slurs" that contains their transition from "official medical description" to "slur"? Otherwise a "slur" is an amorphous social construct that is always evolving.
You probably think that "tankie" is a slur, don't you, tankie?
Otherwise a “slur” is an amorphous social construct that is always evolving.
Yes, obviously? No shit.
You probably think that “tankie” is a slur, don’t you, tankie?
See, you're doing it! I'm so proud of you! Turns out you can insult people without disparaging marginalized people in the process!
Oh look, the tankie arrives at my initial point, only took you a bit. It is precisely that I "cannot" insult your inability to understand something, without allegedly "disparaging marginalized people"
I'd call you slow, but there are other slow people that are not being dumb, don't want to disparage them.
The R word means non of what you said.
Dumbass, asshole, giant turd, negative iq, dumber than a turd, smooth brained, piece of shit, fuck face, etc.
Get creative, no need to insult innocent people by using slurs.
This is no different than calling someone the N word, and I'm sure that while some people use the N word as an insult, you probably don't, right?
"Negative IQ" hahaha, I've never heard it said like a label/name. Made me snort just now.
That makes no sense.
"dumb" and "negative iq" - that's the same "ableist language" that "retard" is.
Not all "dumb" or "low iq" people are evil, I am not trying to drag them into this.
And "piece of shit" or "fuck face" does not address the "uneducated" part.
Historical context matters.
N igger came from the word Negro which just means black, but slavery and abuse of black people has changed the context of the word.
Dumb and negative iq do not have the same historical context as R etard.
"IQ" is most literally where it came from. Together with "moron", "imbecile", "idiot"
Since we all agree that IQ is not an actual quantification of intelligence those words are now used as means to attempt to offend someone, without relation to their medical history or mental aptitude.
Moron? Doesn't hit the same tho. Fuckin moron?
Wait i can't use "moron" anymore? That's retarded
I'm not tone policing. I'm fine wirh using whatever words if their intention does not aim to attack a person of a minority because they're a part of that minority.
I. E. Retard does not. N-word does.
“willfully uneducated, ignorant, bigoted, makes bad-faith arguments and acts foolishly” all seem like perfectly cromulent words there.
When people call me “r-tarded,” I don’t feel offended. What I’ve noticed, the majority of the time, is that people call me that when they have nothing to back up an argument they made. I just got it from a conservative on Facebook posting a gif in response to something like “are you okay supporting a pedophile?”
More than being insulted, I mostly felt sad for how pathetic the person calling me that.
In general, I don’t see that much point to insulting people? Cool, I can make someone mad because I’m also angry with them, and instead of anyone learning anything we’re all just pissed off now. Some people do need to be told in detail how they are a shitty, bigoted person perhaps, but calling them a “r-tard” doesn’t communicate that.
In general, I don’t see that much point to insulting people? Cool, I can make someone mad because I’m also angry with them, and instead of anyone learning anything we’re all just pissed off now
People have feelings and it is human to vent them out. That's why swear words exist. I am not plannin to educate wach and every nazi I come across, and I really don't care whether they're pissed off or not.
Having intention to offend people is OK, sometimes it kicks-off self-reflection that a politely-worded official statement would not.
I refuse to being tone-policed. I am human.
What would one call a person that is willfully uneducated, ignorant, bigoted, makes bad-faith arguments and acts foolishly
I'd probably point them to this thread and call them "@MrSmith@lemmy.world"
As someone who isn't differently abled I try not to use the word. Though, it's a shame I came up with an insult for Republicans that uses the word that I'll never be able to use. Republicunts works instead.
I'm pretty sure this isn't an unpopular opinion. I mean there's a reason most people don't call each other retarded on the internet.
No idea what you're on about. I can't recall the last time I heard that word anywhere.
Man Lemmy.ca is fucking retarded. Or moronic, or idiotic, whichever you prefer.
It's funny how this thread is full of, "But muh euphemism treadmill!" and "if you stop using that, you'd also have to stop using words like 'idiot!'" Well then, maybe we should take it further then.
Most of the time, when I have a problem with someone, it's not really about their intelligence, which isn't really something they can control or change. More often, it's because of things like chauvanism, arrogance, or willful ignorance and anti-intellectualism.
I'm certainly not perfect in that regard, but in principle, the language that we use shapes our thoughts more than we realize, and attributing problems to people's lack of intelligence rather than accurately identifying what the problem is generally isn't very constructive or productive. There are valid reasons to avoid such language.
The reasons for using it are much less valid, and generally boil down to "but I don't wanna!" "But then it might be extended to other words, and I don't wanna!"
The point of an insult is to insult someone. You're not going to rile anyone up calling them a chauvinist, arrogant, willfully ignorant, or anti-intellectual. It's the intention and emotion behind the words that matter, not necessarily the words themselves. If anything, it's our thoughts that shape our language more so than the other way around.
That's complete and utter nonsense. You clearly don't know anything about either linguistics or psychology.
This mentality that everything is downstream from conscious thought is just based on vibes and bias, specifically, the conscious mind refusing to acknowledge its limitations, and is not actually supported by any kind of scientific evidence.
Actual rationality is about recognizing such limitations and actively trying to mitigate them. It's no wonder, therefore, that people who are most averse to the idea that thought can be shaped by such subtle factors tend to the least rational.
Lecture me about knowing linguistics when you understand what "more so" means. I'm not averse to the idea that thought can be shaped by such subtle factors, I'm saying that it's not as strongly shaped by it as you think it is.
I’m certainly not perfect in that regard, but in principle, the language that we use shapes our thoughts more than we realize
The support for that is weak: the influence is mild & easily overcome. An insult isn't meant to be productive, it's supposed to convey contempt & unflattering ideas about the recipient of the insult.
ITT: people making excuses for using what they know is a hateful word.
Just use a different word. That's it. It's very simple. Use literally anything else. People are acting like we're about to stick a probe up their ass.
Once upon a time it was the other word (it is a technical word meaning: delayed). Scientists and Doctors used it as the official term for mental development disorders, which is why people started using it as an insult.
Pick a different word and watch the same thing happen again.
This creates another problem.
"Don't say 'retard,' it's offensive." "Okay, I'll say 'xxx' instead."
One week later:
"Don't say 'xxx,' it's offensive."
God knows how many senseless words are going to have to be made just to say one thing. Just say retard. If people don't like it, they can get mad or ignore it. One way or another, life is moving on.
I agree. The word retarded was adopted because it was technically correct and less offensive than others words that had been used previously. It didn't feel offensive in the 70s.
I think the pushback is more from some small group of voices telling everyone what words they must use or are not allowed to use. People will always resist compelled speech even when the specifics aren't actually important to them.
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@lemmy.world
Welcome to the Unpopular Opinion community!
How voting works:
If you agree that the opinion is unpopular give it an arrow up. If it's something that's widely accepted, give it an arrow down.
Guidelines:
Rules:
Politics is everywhere. Let's make this about [general] and [lemmy] - specific topics, and keep politics out of it.
Disagreements happen, but that doesn’t provide the right to personally attack others. No racism/sexism/bigotry. Please also refrain from gatekeeping others' opinions.
Only approved bots, which follow the guidelines for bots set by the instance, are allowed.
Only until they prove to be a problem. They can and will be removed at moderator discretion.
This shouldn't need an explanation. If your post or comment is made just to get a rise with no real value, it will be removed. You do this too often, you will get a vacation to touch grass, away from this community for 1 or more days. Repeat offenses will result in a perma-ban.
This is a bit of a mix of rules 4 and 5 to help foster higher quality posts. You are expected to defend your unpopular opinion in the post body. We don't expect a whole manifesto (please, no manifestos), but you should at least provide some details as to why you hold the position you do.
Instance-wide rules always apply. https://legal.lemmy.world/tos/
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There's a historical cycle where the helping professions rotate the terminology out, as the wider culture overloads the old terms with insulting usage. Eventually the new vernacular leaks out into general parlance and the cycle cycles. "Retarded" was once acceptable clinical terminology because "idiot, "moron", and "imbecile" had accumulated cultural baggage. The latter terms were, themselves, once politically correct alternatives to even older terms.
I think it's naive to think that THIS time is special, and today's politically correct terminology won't ever leak out into common usage as a slur too.
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