We meet here bro 😘

I met my girlfriend on IRC, we've been living together for 7 years now. She was trolling people with goatse pics and we started talking about philosophy and poetry etc and then it turned out that she's a super cute canadian girl. This is usually not the story we tell people when they ask how we met.

Also all the different “X People Meet” apps, but no Linux People Meet? 😭 /s

Tbh, isn't that just Alovoa? I had never heard of it until I saw it on FDroid

no Linux People Meet?

Are you sure there's no transfemme one?

How is that not an anti-trust issue?

Because we live in the bad place. Conservatives are unlikely to pursue anti-trust unless they're using it as a tool to hurt out-group (eg: they might try to break up an organization they perceive as being too queer).

We don't have a strong left in the US. You get glimmers every so often - Lina Khan was trying to do anti-trust work, but then trump returned and that's all moot.

A lot of problems would go away or be less bad if we stopped letting power consolidate. Unfortunately, this is the bad place.

Humans are just animals at the end of the day. This is all a sexual display of fitness. Hiking and traveling tell people you're physically and financially fit. You can move around no issue. You are social. You are socially and physically healthy.

They lie a ton and show pics of hiking from 5 years ago and act like they can still do all that. Or they never could and the pics are deceiving... Regardless, it's just a game all genders are playing to show sexual fitness. It looks like carbon copies because it's the best way to communicate "my body moves well and I can afford luxury".

I had a firdt date with someone who loved hiking. I asked her if she wanted to go on a trail i like. I was worrued that it was maybe to long and steep, or maybe even to short. When we met, she was way bigger than i expected. I told ger that we could do something else, but she insiated. She was super slow and i was worried sge's gonna pass out. She asked me if how far we have to go, when i could still see my car. Similar thing happened when i went on a vike ride with someone who was really into cycling

I love walking and hiking, but having to walk uphill takes me out, too.

swipes right

There's this bengali place I love that is also a grocery store. It's so epic

amen brother.

best places to eat are the places with no white people. whitey has no taste.

but sucks that usually such places don't last and get replaced with generic white person food.

Best philly cheesesteak I've ever had was from a hospital cafeteria.

I don’t get it.

Is it because she’s dead?

Goes perfectly well to match the stupidity of a populus who commonly has "likes to go to church" in their profiles. OP must live somewhere MAGA-ey.

It started as a joke, and now there are actual people who believe that she was either not a real person, or that her accomplishments were faked. People with disabilities are already assumed to be lesser than able bodied people, and this particular trend is stripping away one of the most prominent examples to the contrary. It is also erasing one of the most prominent examples of a famous socialist woman in American history, and a southern American socialist woman at that. Her story is amazing, but more importantly, she is historically significant. She is an example to so many people, and she has been liberal-washed for a century, and now she's being erased entirely. It's disgusting.

I guess this is another moon landing flat earth sovereign citizen thing.

it's a nothingburger that people online like to tilt at.

because they are all brave Knights errant, who are rescuing damsels or something.

where you around for Bonsai Kittens? lots of people lost their shit over that thinking it was some legit thing.

Exactly! She's one of my favorite historical figures, but when if she wasn't, even if our politics did not align so well, she does not deserve to swept into the dustbin like this, liberal washed and eventually erased entirely. It's disgusting.

If I see someone attractive screaming in a park they probably have my attention.

I know it's meant to be positive but gives me horror to me, like Hansel and Gretel

I have a suspicion it's one of the default prompts. Or they're just asking an AI or something.

That really depends: are you looking for a nerdy man who lacks social skills or are you t4t and super online? If so, yeah probably. If not, feel free to try

Any platform can be used for dating

There's Alovoa... an open source platform but it's even less densely populated than Lemmy

I bet someone did just that and succeeded

I think its cuz there is a lot more men there then women

it doesn't mater, folks social skills have atrophied and their anxiety/depression levels have skyrocketed.

i do well on dating apps, but most women i meet have poor social skills and mental health problems, and refuse to address/acknowledge them. I've also seen this same thing in real life and it's even worse with generation z. folks just no longer how to assert themselves or communicate. I ran a 3rd space for a decade almost, and basically quit because a few years after pandemic it became weirder and weirder and unstable and hostile folks kept coming and causing problems and blaming other folks for their rudeness.

you're not going to be able to form healthy romantic relationships if you refuse to take care of your mental health and practice basic social graces.

I agree with you on this, 3rd places need to exist

That story makes me think of arranged marriage. Not a fan, but it did have it's advantages, at least as long as the parents aren't psycho or marry you off for political or monetary advantage or lands. More experience and more of an eye for the materialistic part of marriage and raising a family. Again not promoting this, there will be untold horror stories of ruined lives there, but I also think part of our modern mindset about romance is probably pathological on opposite ways.

In the past you were just expected to love your arranged partner - before the idea of "falling in love" became ubiquitous. Love was seen as a more active thing like a craftsmanship that you have to practice every day to get good at it. The feelings then just "grow" over time (see e.g. this book)

In any case any government interference should be based on well meaning and science based knowledge. Right now the government allows those who own the dating apps influence this essential part of human nature. That is not "non interference", by not acting to protect people from predatory corporations the government causes harm. Obviously there should be socialist government policy for child rearing (healthcare, maternity leave, financial support, free high quality kindergarden and schools). A lot of stress in relationships can no doubt be traced back to financial stress or "materialist" problems.

I think it's more that the entire business model of dating apps means they profit from people staying single and looking, not finding long term relationships.

I think they think an app that isn't being run by a corporation for profit would help them get laid. In theory the government could run and app for this purpose but I don't think it would work well in practice at least not in the US.

the govt is more likely to have aligned incentives with you when it comes to finding a partner. imo this feels vaguely distopian (not that dating apps don't)

Public ≠ the government.

Hahaha!

You could have private ones but non-profit. Not sure the size of the minimum network effect though. Probably lower than for social media. Maybe we should add education courses on relationships too. And free therapy. It's guberment all the way down!

I'm into ham radios. Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've seen a woman?

Yeah... "Join a hobby group" is the the go-to answer for people who are devoid of ideas but still want to feel helpful.

Honestly, I think there's something to be said for going back to "little old lady in the community who matches up young singles."

I dunno, I’ve met people through my hobby, including my current partner. It’s sporadic but eh. The internet is a cesspit.

Maybe there's some geographical or cultural differences, but I can say for sure that hobbies is a perfectly normal place to meet women in my area of the US. I have dated plenty of people I've met through hobbies.

Also I think there's a difference between picking up a woman at a gym vs picking them up at a running or biking meetup. I think just like with anything else, there are inappropriate ways to do it, but it's not socially unacceptable from my understanding whereas gym pickups really are.

I don't know almost every couple I know met because they were at something that they both were interested in. If all your hobbies include absolutely zero women, then maybe you should have a real long look at yourself And take a chance on some stuff that's outside your comfort zone. There's nothing of value that can be gained without challenge.

hit on women where they exercise for fuck sake

Women can say fuck off to me for themselves

Date men then

But together is fun

Clearly the AI thinks you need therapy, financial advice and lectures on how to sell yourself better. Interestingly, I feel like it might be up to something... I know I wouldn't say no to that :)

But then, I'd rather hump an anthill than date a finance person, so maybe not.

Shut up Jaden Smith

Really long story:

I once knew a girl in high school who I, in a rare moment of boldness while we were away from prying eyes, asked if she would be my girlfriend. She had been my friend for a short while and she fucking chuckled immediately in response, almost instinctively and said "No, sorry.". My autistic ass did not exactly immediately understand why she laughed until I ruminated later.

That said, she seemed to be very friendly with me afterward, like maybe she felt bad and still liked me as a friend... And despite feeling hurt by the way she responded I still hung out with her every once in a while. She eventually got a hot confident boyfriend, because she was also hot. And I kind of started avoiding her because it hurt seeing her with a guy who I felt clearly was better than me, caused me to spiral into self loathing when I saw him. I did not know I was autistic, I just knew I was an infamously weird dork.

Fast forward ~11 years later I stumble into her and she looks like shes a different and much sadder person. I don't want to body shame but she looked a lot worse and I was no longer particularly attracted to her, she was ok looking. She was going on about a recent break up with a guy who she said cheated on her to the bartender.

Now I'm polyamorous, and I legit don't understand and actively dislike monogamy, but obviously I have a faint idea of how painful being cheated on would feel like, and she seemed super sad and I felt bad for her. After talking with her and catching up a little for like 20 minutes, she drunkenly tried to make out with me.

I got away from her and the internal anger I felt was supremely intense. Like, what the actual fuck, fuck you. You fucking said no and now that you're washed up and depressed about your ex using me as a fall back.

I cannot describe the feeling of grief flare as well. Like, maybe if she had said yes back then. Maybe I could of had a normal romantic experience as a high schooler instead of being what I was. Sure maybe also wouldn't have worked out like most relationships, but still. I was a really lonely fucked up high schooler with a completely empty romantic life. Just a void.

I'm doing better now romantically but I was also still having trouble getting any romance at this point in my life even 11 year later. I was still painfully lonely. But the absolute bitterness I felt toward her made even pity for her out the fucking window for me and my desperation for any intimacy dried up instantly in that moment.

Part of me wonders if I should have just gone for it and I was being petty. I don't know. It just makes me kind of sad to think about.

The first time I asked my future wife out she said no to me. Straight no, I felt so bad that day. And the reason was that it felt unnatural at the moment, we were getting closer and I jumped to conclusions too fast.

I guess the moral of the story is you can get a second chance.

That could be a factor. My perspective is limited to one of a man who doesn't date men. I had some nice (and one memorably, laughably bad*) dates with queer people on hinge, but it wasn't my primary experience.

Yeah. This unfortunately, they are literally normies

I haven't heard of her so...

It's ok, she hasn't heard of her either

Suppose someone in that era became def and blind as an infant/toddler. Do you suppose they'd ever be able to learn to communicate?

No, the problem with dating apps for women is that there are tons of "regular" guys looking for a relationship, but because of the gender ratios there are also quite a few "top 5%" guys relative to the number of women. Guys that are very attractive and have great charisma, the kind you'd see on the bachelorette or similar shows.

What ends up happening is that most women will match with these guys (the same way men will swipe right on every supermodel looking woman just in case). So you have relatively few guys dating pretty much all the women they can, because our society says that sleeping with a lot of women if you can is a great way to show you have value. And for these men there are plenty of fish in the sea and no reason to settle down so they get labeled "fuckboys". Fundamentally these men would normally be completely inaccessible to most women, but the gender ratios on dating apps create this situation where average men don't get any matches and average women are only dating fuckboys who don't want a relationship. Then they leave the app and quit dating for a bit out of frustration.

In a normal setting average men and women pair up over shared interests and goals, and fuckboys date supermodels (over their shared focus on aesthetic beauty and charisma I suppose).

Obviously this is an overgeneralisation. But it's not exactly a gendered issue since if you flip the genders you'd other still get the same dynamic. The problem on these apps is the gender ratios. You can't have health matchmaking when there are 10 men for every woman (or vice versa).

I remember back in 2015-ish a guy I knew at work claimed he couldn't get traction on dates because he didn't have social media. I was like, I'm confident that is not the primary problem here.

But yeah, today there's a bigger backlash against big social media. There's more than just weirdos who don't have Facebook et el