Luckily for the male, the sociopath woman gives fierce blowjobs
Honestly that's a 50/50 shot between fierce and dead fish. I have proclivity for crazy, and a good half the time it's all for show and a real disappointment at game time. That all said, always test drive the car before signing the paperwork.
Also ... if you have too many questions for the transaction from the start ... it probably isn't a worthwhile transaction.
On the contrary, given my current life experience, I damn well diserve answers to all the questions I may have... if there are none or not enough, yes, the transaction is not worthwile.
Wtaf did I just read, and why god does it have so many up votes. Please let this be a copy pasta.
Why did I read that with the David Attenborough voice in mind?
Unfortunately, women tend to want partners, men want caregivers. Reminding him to care for his kids because he doesn't recognize how children as his responsibility is now a women's personality issue, rather than a man's personality issue. It's wild that a woman doing merely most of the care work and the full entirety of family organization from cleaning to meals has become something to look down on as a woman failing rather than men being irresponsible and not respecting their spouse.
You may be right in general, but none of that is a good excuse for a transactional sex life.
If I wanted to exchange services (labor) for sex, I could simply take the money earned from labor to purchase it from a prostitute. That is not what a marriage should be like.
I don’t think the kids pay you to clean up their puke or blowouts.
Unfortunately
You are making a lot of sweeping generalizations that are wildly inaccurate. Some of those statements (hell, maybe all of them) may be true for certain socio-political subgroups of our society, but I absolutely do not agree that that’s the dynamic through which most heterosexual people view their partners (or more accurately, the idea of a partner).
You’re basically just regurgitating the “atomic family” ethos from back in the 1950s.
Reminding him to care for his kids
by treating him like a kid will not help. Yes, making clear that you expect him to share the care work with you is important. Making rules together can be a way of doing it, but he needs to do it because he is the dad and her partner and a reasonable adult that takes their responsibilities serious, not because he wants a BJ at the end of the week. They both need couple therapy, because he isn't a responsible adult and she infantilizes him on top.
Unfortunately, women tend to want partners, men want caregivers.
Thank you. Nobody's seeing that. All the comments saying the woman is mean, instead of talking about how irresponsible the man must be that he needs a reward system to do what he should be doing on his own* for his family.
*I'm not sure if it's the right expression. I mean by his own volition and out of responsibility.
Edit: I won't acknowledge the rest of your comment because, honestly, it got confusing.
Men tend to trend more irresponsible, women more neurotic, in my experience. There's plenty of exceptions, but on the whole that's what I've seen. Neither is good, both can collapse a relationship. In straight relationships this can result in women taking on everything. Even where she's overcome (or not originally had) any neuroticism, a sufficiently irresponsible man can still put the problem on her shoulders.
What I think you're omitting is that this can happen in reverse.
Even when a man overcomes (or didn't originally have) any irresponsibility, a sufficiently neurotic woman can still put all the problems on him. He has to pull the tasks away from her because she thinks only she can do it 'right'. Only then can he pull his weight. But he then must also do the dance of convincing his partner that he's doing a good job, or she'll just feel compelled to do the work again herself.
Of course most relationships are somewhere between these extremes. And some even see the roles reversed. People are, of course, extremely diverse. But this is a common pattern I've seen.
“Get out of the dog house card” isn’t going to work the way either of them think. Pulling that card when you’re in the doghouse is not going to make her fine with whatever upset her. There’s a good chance she’ll say she’s “fine” because she doesn’t want to renege on her chart, but whatever conflict isn’t going to resolve itself because he gave her that card.
Trading sex for chores is gross. I don’t want a BJ or lap-dance from a partner that is only doing it because the sticker chart says she has to.
It’s also insane that things like washing dishes or packing lunches or changing diapers aren’t part of the baseline expectations for a dad. You don’t get an award for doing the bare minimum!
Both of these people are demonstrating the emotional intelligence of a block of cheese.
It's not real.
I was in a relationship with a controlling partner who made something very similar to this back in ~2016. I can't remember exactly what was on it, but there was definitely a sexual favor reward for some amount of chores (it was like I had to give her X hour-long full body massages or smth) 💀
true mvp
Don't slander cheese like that.
It’s also insane that things like washing dishes or packing lunches or changing diapers aren’t part of the baseline expectations for a dad.
This is the one that gets me the most. Like, I do the majority of a lot of these things in addition to taking my kid to daycare, doing almost all of the cooking, etc. I do it because I want to help my family, not because I'm saving up for a toothy blowjob.
Sounds like you need to put the toilet seat down more lol
🎵 the lap dance is better when the stripper has stiiickers 🎵
Had about as much teeth as a jack-o'-lantern.
It sound good till you actually experience that and realize how degrading it is.
Look, I'm a male and I completely get the "I'm horny all the time" aspect of males, but... if she did this, that's a complete downer for me. Mind you, I love sex, I would have it a few times a day if I could.
It depends on how seriously it's followed. My wife will often say something along the lines of "if you make dinner I'll let you feel me up," but it's with the mutual understanding that she knows I'd make her dinner because she asked regardless of the reward, and I know she wouldn't offer it if she wasn't happy to give it - she just wants to make sure we have dinner first.
This chart's a bit too far, though, since it's a more long-term commitment that doesn't factor in everyone's feelings at the time that the rewards come due, but I could see that being circumvented in the event that a "rain check" could be called if someone's not feeling it at that moment.
It sound good till you actually experience that and realize how degrading it is.
Some are into that
Does she want sex or does she want chores done? Because if it's just the latter, then I wouldn't really want sex either.
If you're ever handed a chore chart and it's not part of a kink, then assume your relationship is in serious trouble.
I think you are right if every assumption about this couple we make is the worst one to make.
This might be a cornball gamification of a loving couple's sex life. She might be a sexual assault survivor who requires a few days to get in the sexy mood and reminders that she is taken of by her partner helps her. They could just be glomping for the camera. This could even not be theirs or something they made for rage bait.
Your engagement of public intrusion and moralizing into these people's lives might ironically be hurting these people more than the chart has.
Someone else answered but yes it's a boomer expression. Basically to mean you're in trouble with your spouse. (They aren't letting you in their bed so you go to sleep with your dog in the dog house.)
Yes, I've never heard a real person use it but I've heard it on TV enough to know what it means. I think it's a boomer expression.
Love and affection are commodities to be turned into a transaction.
This guy capitalisms
I'm glad everyone finds it weird and gross, but I'm also amused at how many people don't know this is a five year old joke from a mommy blogger at this point.
Never actually real, just meant to make people who were currently dealing with sticker boards and feeling weird about it chuckle.
Yeah, this. I'm certain there do exist people in this world who have a chart like this. Probably they just happen to enough sense to not post the chart online, or are too obscure for theirs to become the meme.
if you think people like this don't really exist then... lucky you!
The comments are really weird. Not just about the chart training and prostitutional aspect, but also that people who argue about it still seem to have a shared opinion that stererotypical men won't do these tasks.
So, even if they acknowledge that the meme is crazy in one way or the other, they're still reinforcing the negative stereotype of the bumbling sitcom dad and that these tasks are not manly or something.
This joke is quite toxic even when understood as a joke.
As has been pointed out before, Lemmy is mostly people who up and left Reddit.
There's a variety of different archetypes that did that.
And it explains a lot of the more head scratching experiences I've had here.
Ten. It's a ten year old joke.
Sure, she may have infantalized him to an embarrassing degree, but at least she posted it online so the entire world can see how unhealthy their marriage is and how transactional their sex live is.
I'd totally get her to suck my dick 10 times per day and never nag again. This seems like a good deal.
I can pee and throw up 10 times per day, no issues.
"Honey, the kids are taking 5 lunches to school today, I'm adding the stickers myself, thanks".
I can pee and throw up 10 times per day, no issues.
Am I the only one alarmed that he's cleaning up so much vomit? I mean I get that he wants the BJs, but is he feeding the kids syrup of ipecac sandwiches?
It's 3x as often as he does the dishes at any rate; he must not be a big drinker.
EDIT: It's 2x as often as he puts the toilet seat down as well...must not have to go pee pee very often.
EDIT2: For people with the "toilet seat down" problem, just get a toilet seat that slow closes on its own...they're like 20 bucks and then you can just tap the top of the top part of the seat and it does the rest of the work.
Plot twist: daddy is bulemic.
I would.
Yes, actually.
-Archimedes (translated)
One thing I have noticed is that most people assume that these obviously fake posts are real. I personally just assume everything is complete bullshit until proven otherwise. I guess I'm in the minority.
I assume it's fake, but there's not much to talk about in that case, so I look for the people who think it's real and then engage with them since their opinions are based how they feel about this very fucked up situation if it were real.
And then we watched Dana Carvey do an old man on SNL and whine and complain the whole time, "wah, wah, wah. I'm an old man. Laugh at me."
And we liked it.
Sure, the spouse that has to create a reward system so that the other person does their chores is the one in the wrong, not the spouse that apparently needs parenting. Also, marriage is a favor to the former, not something both want and benefit from (/sarcasm).
You say she "has to create" this and that he "apparently needs parenting". Did you have some additional context that informs that opinion?
Couldn't there be other reasons, such as she just doesn't like doing those particular chores?
Motherfucker got caught with their bias hanging out
The man literally needs the motivational tool of a 5 year old to learn to put down the toilet seat or otherwise contribute around the house.
I bet you dollars to donuts he considers "nagging" to be asking him anything that he'd have to leave the couch for.
If this is an actual source of stress in your household, you could always just get an open front toilet seat and never think about it again.
I actually try to close the entire thing, lid included. Less poop particles when you flush, and erryone gotta work in this household. True equality.
Alright, I'm sure the big boy that needs a sticker chart for washing the dishes and taking care of his children is the mature one in the relationship, you right, she's probably in the wrong here.
You assume he "needs" a sticker chart when just as easily the wife could be trying to get him to do all of it instead of his share. That's your bias showing.
Plus this inhumane and soul destroying regardless.
Who the fuck makes a sticker chart with BJs and naked hula dances?
That's much bigger leap based on the info we have
Relationships are a two way street, and dynamics like this are pretty common. It's sometimes called over/under functioning or codependency in substance abuse. It could be the over functioner just tore the other person down, or the under functioner was susceptible already or drew it out of the over functioner. I agree it's really difficult to know based on limited data, and all we can say is this is strange and comes across as infantilizing but if it works for them then whatever tbh. Not my relationship to care about
Does the word "nagging" really suggest she's bad when there's needs to be a transactional economy where he only contributes to the care of his child after trading in his good boy points for a tendies a blowjob?
I hope some of the folks in this thread get the partner they deserve.
I would say the creepiest part is that this man needs a childish chart like this just to take care of his children. She's not his mom and honestly they should talk separation instead of having to come up with incentive charts just to get him to be a father.
It's fake, Its a crooked depiction of a toxic relationship which is fucked up, I know, but why would a guy need to be reminded to clean up, or care for their children?
I see everyone is quick to jump on the domestic abuse hate train, but if you are a guy and not doing these things in a relationship you are just as fucked up as this imaginary psycho partner.
I don't know, from my limited view into the kink community if this was a sub/dom setup he wouldn't need the incentive, the subs I know of in the lifestyle not just the bedroom are legitimately dedicated to their dom counterpart and would do their damndest to keep on top of their duties, not have to be coerced into doing them by a tacky chart
I'm no expert though, I just hang out in a sub focused discord
Of course you can't, just from the subs in the lifestyle I've talked to, this situation really doesn't say sub/dom at all to me
He married his Dom though. It's no longer a kink but a lifestyle.
the subs I know of in the lifestyle not just the bedroom are legitimately dedicated to their dom counterpart and would do their damndest to keep on top of their duties
But no 2 people on earth sharing a life together are living their sexual roles 24/7.
Things like this are probably used to build up anticipation for their next session.
If real, I also doubt this is classic Dom/sub play but rather a schoolboy variant.
Step 1: drink water
Step 2: piss
Step 3: put seat down
Step 4: repeat 5 more times
Step 5: wait till I'm nagged
Step 6: remind her of the toilet seat
Step 7: continue ignoring child's needs
Step 8: ignore feelings of depression and ruminate about how fucked my life is
Sorry dude but you are most definitely not Kenough.
Holy fucking shit his face...
This woman is the epitome of the scorecard partner.
He looks like a man who forgot that divorce is an option.
How exactly do the gays transact for sex with their spouses? Like, do they pick one who will withold sex from the other until chores are done? Or do they swap roles monthly? How do they decide which one will be the begger and which one will grudgingly submit to their clumsy, sweaty defilement?
Yes.
No we aren't 😞
Yes this is outrage bate.
hahaha
no
Why'd they Photoshop her eye upside-down into his left eye?
Good catch, that's really weird. They must be trying to enhance the battered spouse look because that guys looks like he had his soul sucked out through his nose after enduring a 10 round prize fight
They've definitely photoshopped it to make it look worse for the Internet rage machine
Wait, his kids made this?
No, she thinks the poor would like a free stained shirt
Is it just me, or does he have a black eye
Look it's the only row with full stickers. He was probably forcing their kid to throw up just so that he can clean it. This's grim as shit
This isn't real. This can't be real.
Can it?
It's "real" in that it's not photoshopped, but it was never really used and was always just a dumb joke for social media:
y'all taking literal boomer humor at face value. That's embarrassing
y'all taking literal boomer humor at face value. That's embarrassing
I literally asked if it was real lol.
Thanks for answering.
Oh gotcha. I'm so used to the singular use of "y'all" because of my social circle haha
That's fucking horrifying.
How many stickers to get his soul back?
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
Yeah one of the guys I work with has a 4-5 month old. He came back to work a few weeks ago and Mom is still on maternity leave. He made the comment that because he is working 100% of the child care is done by mom. He has to work so she can has to everything for the kid.
I just said. Wtf and walked away. That is no way to be a father
Kinda yes though.
Marriage is a partnership, and both parties need to be contributing. If one person is expected to work 8+ hours a day outside of the home--plus commute, etc.--then the other person needs to be doing the things that keep the household operating. The gender of the people don't matter; if my wife works as an attorney, and I am a househusband, that means that yeah, I'm doing the cleaning, the laundry, paying the bills, pet care, and all the other things that need to be done while she's at work. Because housework is my job.
Yeah, what you're saying is mostly reasonable but for the mom to do 100% of childcare is bullshit. What kind of dad is that? I personally can't wait to hold my daughter after work and my "commute".
Kinda sounds like they want the fun parts like the child holding you enjoy with none of the bad parts, which I don't think you could consider yourself a father for, more like an uncle.
TBQH, I should be able to accomplish the day-to-day tasks required to keep a household from sliding into chaos within 10-12 hours in a day. That doesn't mean that the spouse that works outside the home won't have to help with irregular chores. But hey, if I sit around on my ass all day and play video games while my wife is at work, and then expect that we're going to work together to get general household shit done when she gets home, then I'm a huge asshole.
Putting toilet seat down shoud not be ‘let’s negotiate my tasks’
That is literally on the list. And what is more cringeful is that you have a house full of kids and an open toilet of water is just asinine level of idiocy from a parent.
That’s ‘ I shouldn’t have to wipe my own ass’ level of incompetence.
Feeds dog chocolate every single day!
BJ? He gets banana juice for cleaning up vomit? Seems like an unfair trade.
How much for a blumpkin?
Where I can find womens like her? asking for a friend!
Anywhere. Now keeping that relationship going will be the tricky part. Think of it cynically. If the only thing you are doing for her is giving her money and adding to the workload she can get your money and not have to work for you by getting divorced. Who doesn't want to do less work for the same amount of money? She won't have a relationship with you she will have it with your bank account.
In general I try to be sympathetic to new parents. I was terrified to watch my first born when she was born. Everything else I could help with but I kept worrying that something would happen if I watched our baby alone. It took time, and I built confidence. Then mom was able to run errands or have fun for a few hours. The thing is I wanted to improve.
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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
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Wow, there’s just so much to unpack from just that sentence, let alone the chart.
save