RFK Jr. Warns Teenagers Now Have Less Sperm Than 65-Year-Old Men
a year ago by return2ozma to c/nottheonion
The thing is, he made that story up to get out of being prosecuted for the crimes he did.
He’s a sperm counter.
It’s honest work counting those little wigglers.
hes also on roids.
And probably is getting kickbacks from roid-merchants.
I swear to god we have a used car salesman for a president and a snake oil huckster for secretary of health. It goes downhill from there. Everyone talks about fascism but the kakistocracy is fucking real.
I'm terrified that this might actually be what he said.
I recall a few Republican state legislators in at least one state proposing that veterans be given permission to marry girls under the age of marriage; I guess as a treat. (and sex between them would be "okay" because they're married. These same legislators want to ban divorce.)
Oh, oops, sorry! I definitely didn't mean it that way at all.
I'm positive he just missed the /s tag.
It's hard to tell the difference between someone making an outrageous joke or being dead serious these days.
We need to workshop this a bit. "Old" is kinda repetitive given the use of "geriatric". Maybe switch for "Oligarch"?
I mean, the other party is also oligarchic.
True.
Also, love the username 😜
They don't all fit that though.
Since we know he doesn't mess with science/empirical data...how did he get that information?
Put a picture of Trump under the pillow before you go to sleep. During the night, the supreme wisdom of Trump will be focused by the pillow and absorbed by your subconscious mind. In the morning, you’ll just know the correct answer.
Also works with university exams. No need to read any books as long as you have the photo of the relevant professor under your pillow.
Do I have to use a MyPillow for best results?
Any pillow will do as long as it’s manufactured by a company with a nazi CEO.
Hmmm, even if we allow for empirical scientific evidence, is there a non weird way he knows about the sperm count in the semen of adolescents? I hope he's making shit up because the alternative is a lot grosser
Today, the average teenager in this country has 50% of the sperm count, 50% of the testosterone as a 65-year-old man. Our girls are hitting puberty six years early, and that’s bad, but also our parents aren’t having children.
Let's practice some critical thinking. Join me!
Teens have half the sperm count of a senior citizen? I'd maybe believe they're equivalent? Maybe? He's getting this from dropping teen pregnancy rates.
Teens have half the testosterone of a senior citizen? Boolshit on it's face. So senior men are more aggressive, more horny, stronger and hairier than teens? Stronger bones too! Also, seniors have more zits. Are you teen boys even trying any more?!
Parents aren't having children. OK. I'll let the audience stew on that one a minute.
We are below replacement right now. That is a national security threat to our country...
True! Not so much a security threat as an economic threat, maybe the same difference? So what's the solution? Kick out the foreigners? Hey yo, Japan! How that working out?
Money says these idiots do what Russia did about their shrinking birth rates. National holiday to stay home and fuck for the Motherland! (Not even joking here.)
Our replacement rate has been low for a long time, but our population has stayed relatively steady.... because of immigration.
Low replacement rate is only bad if you're racist/xenophobic. Otherwise there's usually (in a supposedly first-world country) an easy solution.
And if you think this is a dig on specifically the US, it isn't. Japan and South Korea are about to have insane difficulties with a very obvious and simple solution, and the US had that solution and are destroying it in favor of racism and xenophobia.
I don't think immigration is bad, but if the "problem" of fertility below replacement is caused by the other problem of people who might otherwise want kids not being able to have them because of economic constraints, focusing on solving the first problem by importing competitive and ambitious skilled professionals seems at least kind of questionable.
That is not the problem. Population declines as countries move to first world status, and I think the people not having kids due to financial constraints are few and far between. Otherwise population would not start and continue diminishing as an area becomes more affluent. People have less (or no) kids because they don't want kids, don't want a bunch of kids, and can reasonably expect the kids they have to survive to adulthood. And access to birth control, education, and other opportunities (mostly for women) makes having less kids (by their own desire) possible.
So bringing capable workers in means they pay into taxes that support the aging and school-age population, and never had to have their school-age years paid for. They're a productive member with half the cost over their lifetime.
It's a no-brainer... as long as you're not worried about changing the... shade or hue... of your population over time.
The reason I'm thinking of it is I recently read this lemmy thread. The article itself is probably AI and not that convincing but I think people are making some good points about the pressures imposed by expense of housing and how those affect the desirability and difficulty of having children.
Of course a prerequisite for that to matter is that not having children is more of a real choice than it is for people with no resources in a state of poverty. But it isn't necessarily the case that the difficulty of raising children decreases with country-wide affluence, because wealth inequality is a thing, required resources (like housing space) might become more expensive relative to income despite overall increase in income, and other factors like an increasingly atomized career focused society where community can't be relied on as much to help raise children and the expectations placed on parents are higher, maybe requiring high daycare expenses.
So bringing capable workers in means they pay into taxes that support the aging and school-age population, and never had to have their school-age years paid for. They’re a productive member with half the cost over their lifetime.
I agree in principle with the logic here, but if those capable workers are being placed in competition with a population that is financially struggling, and those taxes are not being used to give those people more breathing room, that productivity isn't helping and is being employed on the wrong side of a class struggle.
I think your assertion is unfounded and based on your own unreliable assessment.
There is no mystery to the fact the all the wealth is silo'd to a small class of people. Your big assumption is that developed country's are substantially more hospitable to a majority of the population.
When kindness is considered hostility amongst the general population its no wonder why people wont have kids.
So senior men are more aggressive, more horny, stronger and hairier than teens?
I'm old. I'm definitely hairier. I'm also stronger than I was as a teen, though far weaker than I was as a young adult. I also weigh 50% more than I did as a teen, and some of that's extra muscle. So those points aren't really relevant.
At 54 I got hair in weird places, but it doesn't come back in like it did. Demonstrated great-grandpa's WWI razor three weeks ago at a party. Forearm hair still bald. Shaved down lots into my 30s, hair rolled right back in. :)
I'm stronger than I was as a teen, but as a teen I didn't do much put pedal a bike. Was probably peak around late 20s to early 30s. I think strength is much up to the fact of our bodies automatic limiters. When we're at peak, our brain still thinks we can handle the same loads, and we can, and sometimes hurt ourselves. Does that make sense?
I swear he's just such a no-good dirty lying bastard. Like I don't even have any words for him anymore. Whole world would be better off if that worm had finished the job.
The fact that the Kennedys lobotomized a young woman for no good reason and yet allowed this putrid pestilence to permeate our world. Shit.
"I don't know the science behind it." Applies to his every claim.
Double autism.
He’s the way he is because of how they treated Rose. He’s almost guaranteed to be ADHD, maybe ASD too. The psychologists at the time didn’t really recognize it until the 1960s, and that wouldn’t mean widespread acceptance of the idea. Before that they called it something else entirely, and the common use of drugs like Ritalin and Adderall for ADHD didn’t happen until the ‘80s even though they existed far earlier.
So this dude was shipped off to boarding schools because he’s a “problem child” and a Kennedy. He was uncontrollable in schools, couldn’t stick to anything, got kicked out of boarding schools, and the only reason any of the schools put up with his shit at all was because he was a Kennedy. Got into drugs because that can happen to untreated ADHD people and people who have f’d up home lives. All this was swept under the rug by the Kennedys because they didn’t want the press to get wind of another Kennedy with “mental problems” and a drug problem. So he went untreated and unhelped. The worst thing that could happen to him was that he was born a Kennedy.
Today, the average teenager in this country has 50% of the sperm count, 50% of the testosterone as a 65-year-old man. Our girls are hitting puberty six years early, and that’s bad, but also our parents aren’t having children. Parents who want to have children do not have access. I have seven children. I feel that God has blessed me with that and I can’t imagine how different my life would be if I did not have that blessing.
RFK jr counting teenager sperm?
our parents aren’t having children
If someone doesn't have children, they're... Not a parent.
Unless you RFK means people with a child already, which makes no sense (and never did) except to religious nuts.
People aren't cats to have litters of up to 6 kittens, and kids don't grow up in 6 months.
They need to be fed, clothed, medicated and educated for 18+ years!
P.S. If you dump your kids out on their 18th birthday, spoilers! You're a bad parent.
Large farm-like families of 7-9 kids is actually an ideal for the right-wing, especially the farther fringes that are afraid of "Great Replacement Theory" (having more people of color than white folks in a society). The right-wing will go on about "Muslims having large families" because they're fundamentally afraid that their "pure white stock" will run out. None of these people should ever be parents.
hes also a serial womanizer, slept with hundreds of woman and has a journal of sexual conquests and also to hurt her deceased wife drove her to suicide.
This is so weird. This whole fertility thing is so weird. The Manosphere is so weird. I still remember seeing a bunch of near-divorce dad yelling "I am a Modern Day Knight!" like they were roleplaying a psuedo-KKK faction; So weird. The constant whining about childfree people is so weird. The restrictions on elective sterilization are so weird. This obsession with abortion and birth control is so weird. The endorsement of teen pregnancy is so weird. Is it wrong for teenagers to have low sperm counts? I never thought about this because thinking about teen boys' sperm is weird; and the people obsessed with teen boy sperm probably belong on a list. They're so weirddddddd.
This whole fertility thing is so weird
The fertility thing comes across as so weird because its an actual problem that Republicans don't want to solve in any reasonable way because that will involve threatening their donor's bottom lines. Basically across all developed nations with easy access to birth control, education and modern mechanisms birth rates are falling and in many countries these rates are already well below replacement rate (2.1 children per couple, not percent like RFK Jr said)
The United States was consistently staying above replacement rate via immigration but I have a nasty feeling that isn't the case anymore
The reason replacement rate is so important is Capitalism really depends on growth companies gaining new customers. The stock market in particular relies on new wallets to spend money, homebuilders rely on new people to build homes for, and offices rely on new employees to hire. When populations start stagnating or worse shrinking, Capitalism really starts to fall apart as that causes an ongoing recession as fewer wallets in an economy means less money flowing through an economy. Less money moving through an economy means a smaller GDP which means the the economy ultimately shrinks. Bad economic conditions also lead to people feeling less certain about bringing a new baby into the world so the cycle tends to accelerate before the actual population decline can accelerate noticeably
The obvious solution is to decouple necessities of life from capitalism and significant state investment into improving existing infrastructure and planning for degrowth so that a long term recession and the effects of declining/re-balancing populations do not negatively impact the masses living through them. This is of course antithetical to capitalist and conservative goals, so as they realize this looming threat is upon them they're getting extremely weird about it and trying to find ways to get more families to have lots of babies to try to reverse the trend.
In short, these republican pundits are trying to have a serious conversation about what could be an extinction-level event for capitalism without cluing in the masses to the flaws of capitalism or the fact that its an entirely man-made crisis that doesn't actually involve any scarcity of the necessities of life
Bingo; But they don't want that. The really ironic part is the USA population could still thrive as a nation of immigrants, even if birth decline was happening; But of course they don't want that, because the "Great Replacement Theory" platformed by the New Zealand shooter. They could at least make life less miserable for existing parents with social services; But they don't want that, because that's "Communism" (and their donors make a killing from killing us).
Living in the United States of America is like living as a dependent of a self-destructive parent who refuses to compromise, listen to any logic, or even do the bare minimum to sustain themself. Our infrastructure is literally crumbling around us and Dad's back to rambling about how "fluoride cuts off your connection to God". At least he's off the stims, I think.
The US could also thrive with a slowly declining population, as long as there was capital investment to improve productivity at a rate faster than the rate of decline of the working population.
Another factor is that many of the commonly reported economic metrics are aggregated over the whole population, not per-capita. So more people looks like more growth, even when it really means you're standing still or regressing in terms of meaningful measures of quality of life. And there's a well-known aphorism in business circles about what happens when you make a metric into a goal.
They can't get it up with their wives because they're really not into women, and/or their wives aren't into their piglike Nazi husbands. But they can never admit that to themselves, so there has to be some external factor to blame.
This week he's all about sperm.
Last week he was all about circumcisions. https://lemmy.world/post/37218464
And before that, he was diagnosing kids by looking at them naked. https://www.msn.com/...
This guy sure thinks a lot about other people's cocks.
The worm in his brain seeking other worm-like things.
While I am sure he would love it if he had made it mandatory to have all children in the country submit nude photographs of their children to him (for health and scientific research, of course... and they need a set taken on their birthdays from ages 1 to 17 from multiple angles and poses in order to make sure that they are developing correctly you see. No perv stuff!) The part where he said he could diagnose the kids was not when they were naked.
Or maybe I didn't hear the full quote, I don't remember.
sighs I want off of Mr. Bones' wild ride.
I've said this before and I'll say it again: we live in the dumbest timeline.
Dumbest timeline so far.
He’s probably mixing up sperm with testosterone level. Somehow the conversation of testosterone levels came up with a group of kids we work with. One of the young adults who is heavily into weight lifting knew his testosterone levels. The 65 year old man in our group had far higher levels. The reason? He nearly died from cancer and is now on hormone therapy. Apparently the levels are set quite high.
Perhaps that correlation with aggression is real, but medically-speaking giving older men T supplements is actually important. Low testosterone can cause and exasperate several conditions, including making bones less sturdy. As for the young gym bros and Men With Microphones... they're more of the issue.
Yeah but what was their jizz like?
Like a bucket of garlic sauce from a cheap kebab house. Why do you ask?
Left in the summer heat?
Yeah, it's probably a combination of anecdote, ignorant interpretation of that anecdote, and some grifter using that to make a buck selling a quack remedy. Also, like Trump, RFKJ just has a habit of chatting shit.
Yeah, because it's just that simple 🙄 /s
Not like other things are important.
I'm sure you also think you get better bread by adding extra extra yeast.
They both taste very different, which he finds concerning
Is that the anti-fluoride general from Dr Strangelove?
Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper.
Why is he so concerned with young boy dick...sounds a little epsteinish.
You’re partially misguided, he’s saying girls are ready to have babies younger than before but young boys aren’t up to the task so we need old men to do it.
Also Trump started dancing when he said that girls are hitting puberty 6 years earlier than they used to which is an odd response.
Still Epsteinish but not gay.
He was checking them out at the airport last time, for signs of “mitochrondrial challenge”.
Oh no, so what do you propose we do about it?
You know what?
He's less concerned probably about younger people's sperm counts and this is him bragging about his own.
Like seriously, he only cares cause he views himself and his generation as the pinacle of manliness and is upset that people arent being like him. This is a narcissist's brag pretending to he concern. You see it all the time.
If he actually cared he would put effort into actually helping. He wants it to fix itself because he pointed out he has an issue with it and expects the world to bend to his whim. This is so much of that generation and with our politicians. They have their view they want the world to be first and look at how it actually is after if at all.
How does he know? Tastes different.
When an old man challenges you by saying "I have more sperm than you do" you should leave the room as quickly as possible.
And how has he been studied it?
They’re trying to justify 65 year old men raping girl children for the “birth rate”. They’re definitely not going to address the fact that families made up of consenting adults can’t afford kids.The public accepting Old men raping little girls is going to be their answer.
For sure probably way more of an autism risk than Tylenol
Would someone please tell RFK Jr to stop jerking off teenagers?
Dude probably chugs bleach if he gets a tickle in his throat.
Thats why he sounds like he got stabbed in the throat.
Viscosity.
And velocity
Why do you think his throat sounds like that?
I honestly cannot stand to hear that man speak for more than a sentence.
His voice is a death rattle.
heroin+WORMS+ untreated voice/box defect.
Pretty sure he's operating on another level, he wonders through airports diagnosing kids and dreaming of their sperm.
from dead animals?
Let's all send sperm to the white house to contribute to the data collection. I'm willing to throw in some fresh Canadian sperm to help, and I'll use nudes of the US first lady to jerk off! Let's show rfk our support by literally drowning him in sperm!
Let's show rfk our support by literally drowning him in sperm!
This dude likes to swim in raw sewage and eat roadkill. You think drowning in ball yogurt is going to break his stride?
Let's assume there are 340million americans, half of whom have no penis and a fifth of whom are under 18. That leaves 4/10 or 136 million men. Lets say the ejaculate 5ml each, so that 200 men make a litre and 200 litres fill a bath, so 40000 men fill a bath. Easy. Swimming pool? 25mx10mx1.5m=3750 cubic metres or 3 750 000 000 000 litres. It'll take too long because each man needs to donate about 10000 litres, and I don't care how much jizz he's claiming the over 65s are making, they'll all have heart attacks if they try that.
We need a compromise of a hot tub sort of quantity. Say 2000 litres, (450 gallons or so in freedumb units) so we just need 400 000 men, well under 1% of potential donors. Very doable.
However, on a practical note, if a man took 10 seconds to make his donation to RFK's hot tub jizz bukkake drowning pool, and ten men can surround it at once, even with military timing, that's only 60 per minute, 3600 per hour, that's 111 hours or about 5 days and nights non stop jizzing at an absolute minimum. It's gonna go cold and stale, so whether it gunks up the nozzles or not, I think we owe it to RFK for him to go out comfy and we'd best leave the heat and bubbles on as he is gradually overwhelmed by spunk.
This has been a public information announcement. No guarantees are made as to accuracy or fitness for any purpose whatsoever.
We need a compromise of a hot tub sort of quantity.
But don't use an actual hot tub or you'll poach the wigglers.
Surely you must be able to put it on a low setting a few degrees below body temperature. And hopefully no one is trying to get randomly pregnant by one the nation's collective men anyway.
RFK JR: "I've swallowed the loads of thousands of men and boys over the years and the recent decline in the amount of aperm, the taste of the sperm, and the texture of the sperm, makes my brain worms very unhappy"
Our girls are hitting puberty six years early
Oh? What’s his supposed correct age for this?
I was taught in college that girls reach puberty earlier now than in prior centuries in part because they are exposed to light for more hours per day thanks to electrification, and puberty is in part triggered by an internal clock keeping track of how much light you’ve been exposed to in your lifetime.
Of course we leaned a lot of shit in college before the internet which turns out to be nonsense now. But I believe exposure to light is more important than we generally recognize. If you trace our evolution back to the beginning, you’ll find light sensitive cells far far earlier than anything involving actual vision.
I learned something new today.
I also did hear that girls go through puberty sooner because girls now are fatter than they used to be due to a number of factors.
Ya, my biology professor had a theory that it was because of estrogen being introduced to the water supply through birth control. After the pill was introduced breast size started increasing and girls started reaching puberty earlier. Makes sense.
So! It's actually kinda crazy how accurate your professor might be. Because progesterone, the chemical in birth control, does indeed break down into estrogen under the right circumstances. The components of broken down progesterone pass through the body via urine, enter the water system, and - this is the important part - is far too small and difficult to be collected or filtered out of the water.
So people taking birth control have absolutley added an insane amount of estrogen to the water supply. And most tap water now does have low levels of estrogen in it because people have been taking birth control for 60+ years.
In that same time, the average age of puberty has continued to fall.
So, it sounds a bit wild, but that theory is far more feasible than most realize.
Can estrogen in water become bio-available through drinking it?
What kind of concentrations are you talking about? There's possibly a big gap between enough to be detected and enough to affect someone's hormonal regulation.
In that same time, the average age of puberty has continued to fall.
As it did before birth-control pills were in widespread use. And another confounding factor is that modern birth-control pills have much lower doses of hormones than the originals did, so we need to look not only at the rates of usage, but at the amount each pill contains that gets excreted.
And filtration is not the only water treatment technique. The use of highly reactive treatments such as chorine can break down such chemicals.
I thought this too, but yeah, dairy can accelerate puberty, but it's not the hormones, it's just that kids that consume more dairy are often fatter which triggers early menache.
also increased nutrition.
Growth hormones in meat and dairy may also have had an effect, but I have nothing to back this up currently.
Let me know if it's completely incorrect.
I looked in to it briefly, and it seems the growth hormones are a boogie man, but dairy consumption is still a factor in early menache.
Turns out kids that have too much dairy in their diet are often overweight, leading to early menache.
The bigger driver of earlier age of menarche is percent body fat. For example, menarche was in the very early teens in ancient Rome, but it was mid-to-late teens in medieval Europe. The average medieval European girl was malnourished by modern standards. And now, along with better availability of calories, kids also go outside and play far less than they did a generation ago, so they're less active, hence fatter.
There's might also be something in the light-exposure hypothesis, except that age of menarche tends to still be lower nearer the equator than nearer the poles. Artificial lighting, if it were the cause, would have weakened that difference.
I would argue that since the internet we have learned a fair share of unadulterated garbage though let's be real
For sure. It’s just hard to overstate how cut off we used to be from information back in the day. Your professor says something you think sounds suspect? Well, off to the library to find a book on a similar subject and HOPE you can find the answer you need within. That’s still an excellent way to get information and sometimes the best or only way for certain things. It just used to be the ONLY way for ANYTHING and I’m glad those days are behind us.
And now here we are with flat earth theory at our fingertips 😅
WHY IS HE COLLECTING TEENAGER'S SPERM?!
teenagers today have less semen up their arses from 65 year old men
Ftfy
I mean Gym Jordan was trying to fix this but....
RFK Jr obsessed with teenage boy jizz. Just your average MAGA weirdo.
Sounds great, like these kids nowadays know the key to a healthy masturbation routine
Boner pills don't increase testosterone levels or change sperm count.
smh. What an absolute moron.
I wonder if Cheryl Hines doesn't get invited to as many hollywood parties these days bc her husband is fucking the country
shes someone of a nutty herself.
Yeah after that thought popped into my head I went and looked up interviews and when she was talking to the people on the view, she was doing the whole "oh, well after some vaccines the babies can have their normal development change" shit. Sounds like she either always was or has hopped on the anti vax idiocy.
The man is a crackpot and a con artist, so anything he says on this topic is less than worthless.
Anyway, fascists are always obsessed with their stunted concepts of virility. Look at the racist concept that Black men are more sexual than white ones, or Alex Jones's gay frogs rant.
Here's a real fact: there is a strong correlation between a man having higher percent body fat and lower sperm motility. And if you look at long-term trends relating to body fat percentage, they're rising like mad in the US and at a slower rate in much of Europe. Some of that might be lifestyle issues such as longer working hours and higher stress, but there's also some evidence that certain nearly ubiquitous chemicals act as hormone disruptors.
MABA
Make
America
Bukkake
A lot
Sperm counts and testosterone have been dropping rapidly but I didn't think teens were now worse off than 65 YOs
also 65yo are likely to have defective sperm more than teens.
That's usually accounted for in counts
Supposedly this is (of course) a lie/mischaracterization by RFK, that the study is comparing t/sperm levels of kids from the 70s with kids now, and so the kids from the 70s might have had higher levels but now they are in their 60s so...
Is RFK Jr milking them?
Given this admin and its total safe guard of the Epstein Files... Maybe.
and since RFK JR has been seen with EPSTEIN as well.
Eugenics has been spreading mainstream since the New Zealand shooter platformed "Great Replacement Theory" (white-erasure conspiracy theory)
That shit's been pushed all over Europe too, and quite a lot of the noise is coming from Russian troll farms and bots.
This com keeps peaking
Real big issue for the people who fuck kids.
Is he out there counting?
He also says it tastes funny.
Are they saying that they want 65 year old men to impregnate teenagers? Island boys together strong.
He knows its not appropriate for him to know that yeah?
Am I being dense here? I thought this was just medical info, not like... Anything weird or sexual (in a non-medical sense)?
I'm not saying he's correct, and I certainly loathe the brain-worm ridden freak, but saying it's "not appropriate" for the Secretary of Health to know if something concerning is happening with sperm count seems a bit hyperbolic.
its not meant to be serious. just insulting him.
Oh, I see. Yeah that's fair, the guy's a fucking lunatic.
Bless you OP. I saw this in my feed and immediately had to see if it was here.
How is he allowed to talk?
How anyone can look at this man and believe anything he says is insane.
I think if you can make people believe in magical beings and talking snakes, the sky is the limit.
Because of micro plastics they won’t do any thing to stop.
He says they are also stupider, uglier, and have worse cars!
They’re a bunch of pedofiles so they’re trying to justify raping girl children with their pedofile affirming pseudoscience
Tf are they sampling over there??
Pedofile pseudo science
Creepy….
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We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
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Please also avoid duplicates.
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Yeah, I'm not taking ANY advice from this dumbass. What does he even do for a living anyways???
checks job title
SECRETARY OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES???? HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN???
looks at world
Oh. Right.
save