My girlfriend-at-the-time's dirty, dirty ass. Thought it would be like in my fantasies, where it tastes like candyfloss and smells like a Yankee candle. Nope. Shit. Just shit.

If you're curious, shit tastes exactly as it smells. I wish I didn’t know that. Although I'm happy that now you, too, know that.

And she had the nerve to dump me later. I deserve a Nobel peace prize for not recoiling in horror and instead just powering through in silence like a fucking GENTLEMAN.

On the bright side, it became a great way to ensure future partners were cognisant of the issue. I'd drop it into the usual "what was your ex like?" gossip sessions that come with new relationships. It's like saying "please wash your various holes if I'm gonna go rooting around in them like an ant-fiending aardvark" without actually saying it. A cautionary fable from days of yore to guide the next generation.

P.S. I'm still pro-anilingus. Just... clean the fuckin' thing first. I don't need to be picking dingleberries from between my teeth, thanks.

A particular man's penis. I realized too late that he didn't routinely clean under his foreskin.

Cat treat. Ate it on a dare. It was fucking foul. 0/10.

Live ants.

This was 30 years ago. I lived on the second floor of an apartment. I left a half-eaten bag of Little Debbie chocolate donuts on the floor next to my bed. The next night, in a dark room, watching David Letterman, I remembered and reached for the bag. I was three donuts in before I noticed the slightly strange taste, and the ant crawling on my face.

Ants taste a bit sour and bitter.

Gasoline. Had to siphon, did it wrong, mouthful of gas.

Maggots. I've been chasing the high ever since. They were hiding in a pineapple flavored Swiss roll. I thought the maggots were coconut flakes at first. Pina colada is a good flavor. The maggots popping like boba didn't set any alarm bells off. It was better than the usual coconut crunch. The maggots wriggling against my gums and tongue didn't set any alarm bells off. It was the only time I ever chewed something that felt carbonated. The lone maggot crawling across my couch away from certain doom finally clued me in. Half of his platoon just got eaten and the other half was without a doubt up next.

The same thing happened to my mom at some point when she was a kid. For her it was an Almond Joy or Mounds, which let the maggots blend in even better. Is it a once in a lifetime thing everybody experiences or a generational curse? I feel cursed with the knowledge that maggots in the right context taste like the fuckin' future.

An oyster

The town I grew up in is famous for them, we even learned about them in school but I'd never tried one

Finally decided to just before I moved away for university and eugh, salty mucus-y blob, had to spit it out again, poor lil guy

Malort

Tastes like turpentine and grapefruit juice. The former I've actually tried accidentally... dipped my paint brush in my cup of water and took a swig of the other cup. Somehow, the malort was worse. Learned recently that they make a barrel aged version that they claim is

dare we say, sippable

We do not.

This thread's got me curious about what my dick would taste like.

When I was around 3 or 4 y/o, a neighbour kid managed to convince me to take a bite of a dried dog shit.

I don't remember what he'd said that convinced me, I just remember the laughter when I actually did it... I wasn't the brightest kid, but very curious and gullible.

Stinky tofu. It's hard to describe the flavor. It's like dead anchovies in fish sauce but with the texture of a slice of omelette. It's like eating rotten fish snot. I involuntarily spit it out immediately after putting it in my mouth, almost like it fell out of my mouth. My hosts laughed and said I didn't have to eat it, but I tried again and was able to keep it in my mouth but was not physically able to swallow it, like my ability to swallow was rejecting it. I spit it into a paper napkin and everyone laughed. I just couldn't force myself to consume it.

I got some of that pre period goop in me once. I would say that turnabout was fair play for a dude but I don't like blowies so I just got gooped for nuthin

Yeah I fuckin swallowed it, I'm not bitch made

The Elvis. The sandwich American rock singer Elvis Presley made famous. Peanut butter, banana, and bacon. Grilled like a grilled cheese sandwich.

Addendum: I am allergic to peanut butter. I got ahold of a soy-based alternative called Wowbutter, and people who are not allergic tell me they nailed the taste, but the aftertaste is kinda not good. So, the first thing I did was shove a whole teaspoon-full of it in my mouth. My brain goes "you dumb fuck, you're gonna die," but I didn't, because it wasn't toxic. So I went and tried everything made with peanut butter (BTW, strawberry > grape for PB&Js), including the Elvis. A lot of it was kinda gross. I guess if you were raised on peanut butter, maybe, I can see it, but I didn't think the experience was anything special. Not when Nutella exists... which I also can't have. But then there's Biscoff spread, which is non-toxic, apparently it's also vegan (wouldn't peanut butter be, too?), and it's ten billion percent better than all that other shit. Though, you would be absolutely right in saying I've never had real peanut butter, or your favourite variety of it.

Actual shit. I was rimming my boyfriend and he had thought he cleaned enough, he was wrong. I immediately threw up washed my mouth out and brushed my teeth. Disgusting, in case I needed to say it.

A Zataran's Cajun chicken Alfredo freezer meal...that had been in the un-freezable, non-refrigerated cabinet two weeks.

My wife...gods bless her, was trying to feed me dinner...and found that in the cabinet... after having put it there during our last grocery stock up, not realizing it required freezing. In her defense, it was a grocery order and the item was not something we ordered, so she didn't know the particulars of it, and it wasn't cold upon arrival.

After microwaving, she brings me the plate and a fork and I notice the smell is...unique, but me being hungry and not overly picky though "meh...Cajun seasoning...I guess" so i stir the sauce into the noodles and then lick the fork, as one does, preparing to consume.

The weirdest part, is it was fucking sour. Not sour like spoiled, sour like a million warheads sour. I stopped... looked at the stuff, looked at my wife and shuddered. "This is weird...why is it sour?" I said...still not dawning on me that my wife would attempt to poison me so obviously. She disappears and I sit there, with the offending offering on the table in front of me. "Am I brave enough to eat this? I don't like wasting food..." goes through my head at about the same time as my wife, pale faced and trembling, rushes in and grabs it hollering "don't eat that! It was supposed to be frozen!"

I've had surströmming exactly once and intend to keep it that way.

One time I got the bright idea to siphon the water out of my ~50gal aquatic turtle tank for some long overdue cleaning. I anchored one end of a water hose at the bottom of the tank and strung the other end out into the yard and proceeded to start the siphoning process with my mouth. Got force fed a giant gulp of whatever got sucked off the bottom of the tank.

I've put some nasty shit in my mouth since then and nothing comes close.

Mouldy yoghurt

This was something like 16-17 years ago now so it's clearly left a mark

It was about 2-3am, I lived on the ground floor of a student house and I wanted a snack. Remembering I had bought some yoghurts a day or two before I figured that's what I was going for.

Now I'm not really sure what happened, if I picked up an old one I'd not noticed or it was just bad from the shop, but it didn't notice until after I'd taken the first mouthful.

Needless to say it tasted genuinely awful and put me off yoghurt in general for a good while

Fly in my coffee is up there.

I was passing through Montevideo, Uruguay, and me and some folks at the hostel I was staying at were out trying a local restaurant. The guy who owned the place saw we were tourists and said he wanted to treat us to a local specialty, and so brought out... something. It was something like animal bits, chunks of fat, and who knows what else all suspended in a hard gelatin. It was truly vile, and I swear it had bits of hair in it as well. To be polite we all tried a small bit, and then got the heck out of there as quick as we could.

To this day I can't tell if he was sincere, or if he really hated tourists and gave us the contents of his dish trap. Googling has turned up nothing, but thankfully our politeness didn't extend to actually finishing the awful thing.

Natto. Japanese fermented bean paste. Slimy and tastes like rotten cabbage.

Slug.

When I was small I left my kazoo outside in the yard, and then when I went to play it the next day, I learned the hard way what slugs taste like.

They’re bitter.

A raw firefly squid marinated in soy sauce. ホタルイカの沖漬け。

Boiled down San Pedro cactus juice. Tasted like old, ultra concentrated bong water.

And I didn't even trip.

I've eaten ass

Y'all nasty.

That said, my worst recently was parmesan cheese in soup after having vomited from norovirus. It tastes like vomit in the wrong context...

I'm sure it's not the nastiest thing, but it's what comes to mind. I have a brother and we dared each other to eat stuff as kids, but I cannot recall...

Well, there was natō, which is just slimy fermented soybeans. Had a taste like rotten sick and a texture like milky mucus covering half-mushed beans.

Not a fan of sea urchin either.

Also eaten a few expired food items that made me very wary of repeats, and usually put me off the food in question for at least a year. Rotten fruit cup that tasted like acetone, slimy off ham, chunky lemon milk.

Last, I once tried to cook a ham hock in beans. Recipe came out tasting like what I imagine stewed human flesh would taste like. Just wrong. Couldnt say exactly why, but nothing about the smell or taste told me it was edible. It was the most visceral "you're-eating-a-dead-thing" feeling i've ever gotten.

After a rough basketball injury put my tooth through my lip, I ended up with a mucal retention cyst on the inside of my lip a few days later. I was in the doctors waiting room, and it burst in my mouth. It was a thoroughly unpleasant experience, as I rushed to the bathroom to spit it out.

I once got a burger from a cheap looking fast food place and my first bite was funky and cold.

Looked at the meat and it was basically still raw and partially frozen in the center.

It was a bad time.

Friend gifted me some of this, and it's truly awful.

Ugh. Once when I was a kid I got the idea in my head to stick my face in between the couch cushoins and inhale hard. I still can kinda see the cursed salad I was spitting out for a while.

As a kid I took a swig off my Mom’s Coca Cola. She had been using the can as an ash tray. Puked for five mins and can recall that taste in a second as an adult.

PVC pipe glue. Don’t ask.

A raw, whole crab (about the size of a golf ball). Was crunchy in a very nasty way, full of slimy nasty stuff. Horrible!

balut

When I was like 8, I was playing with my remote control car, one with a battery pack you had to unplug from the car and use a special charger in the wall. After I recharged it, and was getting ready to drive it around, i noticed I had what I thought was leftover chocolate on my finger. I licked the drop off my finger and immediately realized it was battery acid or some residue from the battery, it was the worst taste ever.

pig intestine from a chinese restaurant, a meeting of the 'adventurous eaters meetup'. consistency of a mouthful of snot.

Taste? Probably expired milk. I didn't sniff check as a kid. A mistake you only make once.

Most disturbing to me even though it tasted okay? I had one of those cardboard cartons of Apple juice* lined internally with plastic/aluminium so you couldn't see inside. Well within best by date. I poured a glass, chugged it. Hot summer day. Decided, eh, a little more why not. A giant gloopy growth plopped out into my glass. I retched.

Mother of Vinegar I assumed? Not sure.

Fresh ginger.

this feels like a trap.....

Chicken flavored pet vitamins are up there… probably buttermilk though

Liver. Onions were fine, but what kinda sicko likes to eat liver? Just knowing it's where urine is filtered turns me off, but I was made to eat it as a kid before I learned that. Man, my brain is turning to shit as I age.

I've been on crutches more than once, so pick an item.

Probably dextromethorphan powder, it's absolutely disgusting, sulbutiamine powder is pretty bad too

Crushed up amoxicillin tablets.

I refused the liquid because it made me gag but I couldn’t swallow pills yet. Tried putting it in any and everything to hide the taste but it still made its way through. Made me hate eggnog for a long time, too.

Prolly a spider that had crawled into my fountain drink straw or viewed another way when I vomited up a metronidazole pill that I had worked very very hard to swallow without tasting and immediately vomited again as a result. If you're unfamiliar it's the antibiotic pill that makes you taste metal.

Sea urchin.

I dint know if the most disgusting, but the biggest delta between expectation and reality was root beer.

Expected something vanilly or maybe gingery, got mouthwash. I genuinely spit the first sip.

Balut

Probably not the worst, but I once ate a massive spoonful of flour thinking it was icing sugar.

Paint.

Orange to be precise.

When I was a kid, a friend of mine hosted a birthday party on a paintball range. We played for I don't know how long, large group of us, was really fun.

One thing the instructors told us, keep your mouth shut.

You see, we wore face masks, however for us to breathe of course there's a grill where you mouth goes.

Needless to say, I got shot right on that mouth grill, and naturally due to the shock of it I opened my mouth...

The paintball burst on the grill, and I had the whole volume of paint launched deep into my throat.

It was so... ungodly... salty. For the rest of the day all I could taste was salt (the blow occured around early afternoon). And that's coming from someone who also on another unrelated occassion ended up with a deep mouthful of sea water.

Salted chips without the chip. I was mindlessly eating some chips from the bag and suddenly there was this intense salt flavour quickly overpowered by way too much rotten oil flavour. When I spit it out, it looked like a clump of deep fried salt.

I didn't put it there but when I was in college sharing an apartment with my brother and his wife they got a dog and when they got it home the instant it got through the door it beelined for my lap and slipped it's tongue ALL the way along the roof of my mouth. Decades ago and I can still feel it.

A turd.

I once had some papa john's pizza, never again.

A mouthful of expired chocolate milk.

I bought a bottle of choccy milk at a gas station, got one for my kiddo too. I go to take a swig and its... chunky and stringy. I went back to the store and they exchanged both bottles of milk. They had to go find two that weren't expired.

I just make my own at home now.

Jelly while on a trip in the UK. There was solid stuff inside that looked and tasted like vomit.

Duck tounge. Ice cold duck tounge.

I sip Malört and enjoy its nuanced flavor notes. Durian tastes like paradise. Natto, however, broke me.

Of things that were intended to be eaten, my friend in Amsterdam had some super salty black licorice. Don't want to yuck his yum, but that shit wasn't fit for human consumption.

An ant that I ate

my foreskin. at least I think it was my foreskin... could have been someone else's.

Yo mama's name (scnr)

Cambozola. The descriptions I've read about it are entirely unlike the one I tried. It was intensely foul.

Nah, this is the internet.

Probably psyllium husks with water. It's supposed to help digestion, but the texture is fucking awful. AFAIK you can also buy these as pills, but I've never seen any in a store.

Also, gristly meat.

Cauliflower. Just thinking about it to make this comment made me dry heave.

Accidentally half ate a catepillar once.

It crawled into the bag of snacking cheerios on a camping trip.

... still feed bad about accidentally killing that little guy.

I guess also maybe you could count earning my redwings, though it wasn't like I was ingesting it, and frankly, I didn't even find it disgusting at all, but it seems most people are disgusted by this.

I've done a good bit of martial arts, am quite used to the taste of my own blood in my mouth... hers was basically just a slightly different flavor of blood.

One time when I was a kid, my friend and I decided to take random stuff from the pantry and just mix it all together into one drink. That was genuinely heinous.

Muttonbird.

It's an acquired taste, but one I didn't acquire. Preserved shearwater chick, mmm.

I live in Scotland now, where there's a similar delicacy, guga. I have not tried it. I think you have to live on the Isle of Lewis for a shot at eating it

I had a century egg once. Like a hundred rotten eggs suspended in a salty pond-muck jelly. My body literally refused to swallow it.

there was this chocolate with a clear filling, i ended up scraping the flavor off my tongue with my nails.

Fundamentally, ass. Absolutely nothing about it is logical. Don't care, as long as it's freshly showered and no questionable bowel situations.

Uniquely gross, tuna salad as my taste and smell was coming back post-covid 19. I had it often before, I have it often now. But something like a month after covid, the only thing I tasted and smelled was the fish oil. Put me off of it for like a year. Got over it

I tested the buttering agent on coin cell batteries. Very bitter. I've also blown my car's radiator to speed up a coolant drain through a small outlet. Same buttering agent. I also unintentionally coated my hand in liquid compressed air (upside down) and clicked my finger a little later eating chips. You guessed it, bittrex strikes again. On par with malort.

A Jatz biscuit from a packet that was swarming with ants.

Scallops

Oh! This happened last week. It was a mocktail featuring iced matcha and espresso foam. It reminded me of the most disgusting thing that's ever gone into my mouth by accident.

hair, sand, all sorts of medicines without capsules, fish bones, this flavor will stay with me for a long time🤢

My girlfriends ass

Recently? My cum probably.

Fast food