chad

5 months ago by QuinnyCoded to c/lemmyshitpost

ceenote 306 points 5 months ago

Am I out of touch? No, it's all of society outside of my congregation that's wrong.

That isn't a joke, Christians are deliberately conditioned to believe this.

path: 0 23617055, hotness: undefined, score: 306, children: 10
Lost_My_Mind 103 points 5 months ago

Well, it IS a joke. They're a joke.

Just not the funny kind.

path: 0 23617055 23617280, hotness: undefined, score: 103, children: 7
Little8Lost 19 points 5 months ago

Happy cake day

path: 0 23617055 23617280 23618308, hotness: undefined, score: 19, children: 5
Lost_My_Mind 14 points 5 months ago

WOOOOOO!!!!

path: 0 23617055 23617280 23618308 23618408, hotness: undefined, score: 14, children: 0
possumparty 8 points 5 months ago

eh maybe we should use a different name for Lemmy anniversaries. Happy Lemming Day? nah.. Some of the apps use a chick in an egg for new accounts- maybe Hatch Day?

path: 0 23617055 23617280 23618308 23619064, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 3
fartographer 9 points 5 months ago

"Congratulations on your annual reminder that the organized internet has been both your downfall and your salvation."

path: 0 23617055 23617280 23618308 23619064 23621854, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 0
thethunderwolf 4 points 5 months ago

just say the 🥚 emoji to them

this totally doesnt already mean something

path: 0 23617055 23617280 23618308 23619064 23625730, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
muzzle 3 points 5 months ago

Lemmiversary?

path: 0 23617055 23617280 23618308 23619064 23634712, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
dalekcaan 7 points 5 months ago

I mean, people like that would be funny, if they weren't also causing real lasting damage.

path: 0 23617055 23617280 23618678, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0
prole 5 points 5 months ago

Then maybe this kid is getting a valuable lesson in bubbles and how stupid his is

path: 0 23617055 23628255, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
fossilesque 4 points 5 months ago
path: 0 23617055 23626581, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
rslogix89 127 points 5 months ago

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JennaR8r 167 points 5 months ago

That's better.

path: 0 23617145 23618007, hotness: undefined, score: 167, children: 10
backalleycoyote 48 points 5 months ago

path: 0 23617145 23618007 23618233, hotness: undefined, score: 48, children: 5
Tyrq 46 points 5 months ago

Rehance, Dehance, and drop out

path: 0 23617145 23618007 23618233 23618468, hotness: undefined, score: 46, children: 4
funkajunk 30 points 5 months ago

moar.jpg

path: 0 23617145 23618007 23618233 23618468 23618979, hotness: undefined, score: 30, children: 3
chortle_tortle 16 points 5 months ago

It is really a meme if it doesn't have boomer aspect ratio issues?

path: 0 23617145 23618007 23620020, hotness: undefined, score: 16, children: 0
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 8 points 5 months ago

Jesus didn't die for good cropping

Jesus didn't die for you, Jesus didn't die for me. Jesus didn't die for the whales named willy that that damn movie keeps trying and failing to set free (someone start playing folk guitar I think I'm onto something here)

path: 0 23617145 23618007 23623279, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 1
fartographer 11 points 5 months ago

Anyway, here's Wonder Wall

path: 0 23617145 23618007 23623279 23623841, hotness: undefined, score: 11, children: 0
LillyPip 6 points 5 months ago

Thanks, that was hell on mobile.

path: 0 23617145 23618007 23624263, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
akwd169 10 points 5 months ago

Is one of the sins taking a screenshot of a meme to save it but then not cropping it to the right size?

Because jesus definitely does not think that is rad

path: 0 23617145 23627560, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0
CandyPants 111 points 5 months ago

Buy that kid a year of premium and toss him a joint.

Anyone else tired of the most hateful people you know lecturing you about whats moral?

path: 0 23618697, hotness: undefined, score: 111, children: 3
Dyskolos 24 points 5 months ago

Totally tired. And they're Mostly exactly into the very same thing, they so despise publicly. "The hub"...bet this douche uses it more than the Lil hero here.

path: 0 23618697 23620811, hotness: undefined, score: 24, children: 0
Xell22 10 points 5 months ago

Preach

path: 0 23618697 23619689, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0
IzzyJ 4 points 5 months ago

The guy probably probably watched and did worse when he was the kids age

path: 0 23618697 23635234, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
otacon239 100 points 5 months ago

Hell yeah brother. Represent.

path: 0 23616689, hotness: undefined, score: 100, children: 0
areakode 90 points 5 months ago

Wait... Bro, you're punishing him... For doing the things that I do every day? Rock on, dude!

path: 0 23616782, hotness: undefined, score: 90, children: 5
gigastasio 43 points 5 months ago

He died for your sins.

path: 0 23616782 23616971, hotness: undefined, score: 43, children: 2
areakode 15 points 5 months ago

And MY AXE!

path: 0 23616782 23616971 23618070, hotness: undefined, score: 15, children: 0
LillyPip 6 points 5 months ago

If you don’t sin, he died for nothing.

path: 0 23616782 23616971 23624288, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
JennaR8r 14 points 5 months ago

Get out there and stand on the corner with him. Before long, more people will join & soon you'll have a whole crowd of chronic pot-smoking masturbators gathered in solidarity & you can exchange contact info for future smoke & stroke gatherings.

path: 0 23616782 23618084, hotness: undefined, score: 14, children: 1
IzzyJ 2 points 5 months ago

That got weird fast

path: 0 23616782 23618084 23635280, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
psycho_driver 62 points 5 months ago

From memory, I'd say it's pretty normal for a 14yo boy to be whacking off all the time.

path: 0 23622650, hotness: undefined, score: 62, children: 0
OhStopYellingAtMe 58 points 5 months ago

Feed him a stew that makes him go blind for 1 day.

path: 0 23627009, hotness: undefined, score: 58, children: 5
Obi 18 points 5 months ago

1 day blind stew is the way to go, I can confirm.

path: 0 23627009 23627790, hotness: undefined, score: 18, children: 0
VitoRobles 10 points 5 months ago

1 day blinding stew

path: 0 23627009 23630551, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0
HulkSmashBurgers 6 points 5 months ago

"Whelp, can see so I can't do chores or homework. Might as well goon the time away"

That kid probably.

Also, If the internet was a thing when I first started to crank it, I would have had carpal tunnel by the time I was 18 😂🤣.

path: 0 23627009 23632165, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
Godric 4 points 5 months ago

Stew that blinds him for a day

path: 0 23627009 23638392, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
BreadOven 4 points 5 months ago

Stew that blind child for one day, recipe.

path: 0 23627009 23639630, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
BigDiction 53 points 5 months ago

I would 💯 give a honk and a 🤙 for the young lad. Lotta life left to live!

path: 0 23616994, hotness: undefined, score: 53, children: 1
Semi_Hemi_Demigod 8 points 5 months ago path: 0 23616994 23617239, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 0
shiv 48 points 5 months ago

I wish I had my shit together as much as this kid does at his age. He's got it figured out.

path: 0 23620673, hotness: undefined, score: 48, children: 0
bagsy 46 points 5 months ago

Make him smoke a whole carton of the reefers and watch every video on the 'Hub', that will show him.

path: 0 23617200, hotness: undefined, score: 46, children: 8
kieron115 74 points 5 months ago

path: 0 23617200 23617339, hotness: undefined, score: 74, children: 3
happy_wheels 16 points 5 months ago

Can't believe I had to scroll down this far for this.

path: 0 23617200 23617339 23617450, hotness: undefined, score: 16, children: 2
JennaR8r 12 points 5 months ago

I'm a massage therapist and I'll never forget one particular client 2 years ago had a remarkably muscular right forearm, a twinkle in his eye, and the rest of his body was as muscular as jello.

path: 0 23617200 23617339 23617450 23618136, hotness: undefined, score: 12, children: 1
happy_wheels 1 point 5 months ago

IRL Quagmire lmao

path: 0 23617200 23617339 23617450 23618136 23626932, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
Wren 6 points 5 months ago

I wouldn't wish that on my medium enemies. There's pokemon porn. There's ninja turtle porn. There's freaking 3D rendered legend of zelda forced feminiz... I need to go to pornhub

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Holytimes 7 points 5 months ago

You don't got sell it so hard man...

path: 0 23617200 23621694 23623519, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0
Kellenved 2 points 5 months ago

I’ll take a number one and two number threes

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captainlezbian 2 points 5 months ago path: 0 23617200 23621694 23628405, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
Bluedragon012 45 points 5 months ago

He is a little young to be doing weed, needs a conversation about its effects on younger minds. As for porn, time for proper sex Ed. no punishment needed, more education needed.

(to be clear the weed take is imo, not fact, do what's best for you)

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dejected_warp_core 26 points 5 months ago

Oh, we don't do compassion and positive reinforcement around here.

path: 0 23629509 23630443, hotness: undefined, score: 26, children: 3
Bluedragon012 9 points 5 months ago

Why not? We're not billionaires.

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Aneb 4 points 5 months ago

Exactly. One fuck up could mean years in jail. Public appointed attorney, who has money for a lawyer? Your rich parents?

Edit (I reread this) I'm also a person that does a lot of anonymous crime 🍃🏴‍☠️ and might have parents that could post bail

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varyingExpertise 1 point 5 months ago

If you ask yourself what kind of people support those billionaires, that dude, right there.

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Tenderizer 0 points 5 months ago

Being exposed to porn at a young age has also been found to have damaging effects on younger minds. So really the uncle is in the right depending on the nephew's age.

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Bluedragon012 1 point 5 months ago

It can be damaging, but not as much as weed can. also depends on the type of porn. If it was some vinella stuff, probobly going to be OK, if it was some more heavy alt stuff, time for therapy.

path: 0 23629509 23656730 23694838, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 2
Tenderizer 1 point 5 months ago

Generally the type doesn't matter. The age of exposure does, but the type doesn't.

As for weed, whataboutism isn't helpful.

path: 0 23629509 23656730 23694838 23712494, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1
Bluedragon012 1 point 5 months ago

So you would say that if he was jacking it to a chimp using a frog as flesh light just as bad as some white bread mofos filming their sexy time just as bad? You sure that kind of porn don't matter?

There is no what aboutism with weed, he is too young. 25 min age for weed should be the standard.

path: 0 23629509 23656730 23694838 23712494 23718173, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
jaggedrobotpubes 37 points 5 months ago

Now you make him smoke the whole pack of joints and watch all the porn.

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LookBehindYouNowAndThen 15 points 5 months ago

"Don't come out of your room until you finish your report on sounding and gaping."

path: 0 23617775 23619330, hotness: undefined, score: 15, children: 0
Hypnotoad_ 32 points 5 months ago

This kid will be alright

path: 0 23621006, hotness: undefined, score: 32, children: 0
frustrated_phagocytosis 23 points 5 months ago

An out of control child would not stand out there for 5 hours, he would choke you until you pass out and stop bothering him.

path: 0 23617485, hotness: undefined, score: 23, children: 6
OwOarchist 41 points 5 months ago

"Out of control" means different things to christo-fascists.

To them, it means 'doesn't do exactly what I say at all times'.

path: 0 23617485 23617812, hotness: undefined, score: 41, children: 5
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 7 points 5 months ago

A christofascist literally called the police on me a couple weeks ago and called me "out of control" to them for somehow walking past her disrespectfully. She doesn't know I know where she lives and I'm trying very hard to be the better person (read, I'm trying not to make her feel unsafe in her home the rest of her miserably short life by, I don't know, putting a bunch of horror movie posters on her windows in the middle of the night so when she wakes up she thinks she's gone to hell. Along my business card, letting her to know it was me. Self control is hard sometimes.) but I am a horrible person and this is well established. I should just tell some bottle kids where she lives.

path: 0 23617485 23617812 23623366, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 3
Rampsquatch 2 points 5 months ago

Go with the bottle kids for sure.

path: 0 23617485 23617812 23623366 23639616, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
Tja 2 points 5 months ago

Start a GoFundMe for the posters. I'll pitch in if you record it.

path: 0 23617485 23617812 23623366 23626840, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 6 points 5 months ago

I already have them

path: 0 23617485 23617812 23623366 23626840 23627782, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
Feathercrown 7 points 5 months ago

I mean I guess that is technically "out of [their] control"

path: 0 23617485 23617812 23617956, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0
Rubanski 22 points 5 months ago

There it Is, random Capitalization IN The wild.

path: 0 23626118, hotness: undefined, score: 22, children: 1
Spezi 4 points 5 months ago

What a presidential guy.

path: 0 23626118 23627018, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0
jeniferariza 19 points 5 months ago

That punishment turned into free advertising real fast.

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nightwatch_admin 18 points 5 months ago

OK, so from a parent/caretaker I get that smoking pot (at home) isn’t maybe a great idea to just let happen, but humiliating the kid in front of everyone is an absolute shitshow. Good thing the passers-by were quite a bit more understanding. And the tossing? As long as it’s not in grandma’s salad.. whatever.

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captainlezbian 3 points 5 months ago

Yeah depending on his age the pot could be something a good caretaker should stop, but it should be stopped with a conversation about how it impacts development and how if he wants she can promise to buy him a joint for his 21st birthday.

Porn can be a similar conversation, "here's why I oppose it, especially for young people, I can't decide for you how to live your life, but I would appreciate if you gave it serious thought."

Punishment like this all but guarantees he won't ever see eye to eye with her on this and leaves me with little doubt that she never tried actually talking to him about her beliefs and why she wants him to act the way she does.

path: 0 23617815 23628609, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
PieMePlenty 17 points 5 months ago

Living his best life.

path: 0 23624035, hotness: undefined, score: 17, children: 0
Etterra 16 points 5 months ago

Make him move rocks into a pile. If he hasn't learned his lesson yet, make him move them into a new pile.

path: 0 23625044, hotness: undefined, score: 16, children: 5
northface 8 points 5 months ago

Is this how Pilates became a thing?

path: 0 23625044 23628240, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 4
kandoh 4 points 5 months ago

The guy who killed jesus?

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Etterra 4 points 5 months ago

No you're thinking of Pontius Pilate; they're talking about the river in New England.

path: 0 23625044 23628240 23635071 23638261, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 1
jmill 2 points 5 months ago

No, you're thinking of the Potomac; they're talking about a word formed by merging the sounds and meanings of two different words.

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IzzyJ 1 point 5 months ago

The exercise, pronounced pill-latte

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Kolanaki 15 points 5 months ago

Not sure what to do

Have you tried not being lame and smoking pot while tossing off with him?

path: 0 23617571, hotness: undefined, score: 15, children: 6
Tar_alcaran 35 points 5 months ago

If my mom masturbated next to me, that would probably have suppressed my sexdrive well into my 80s.

path: 0 23617571 23617791, hotness: undefined, score: 35, children: 2
Kolanaki 14 points 5 months ago

Ok but what about your dad?

path: 0 23617571 23617791 23618204, hotness: undefined, score: 14, children: 0
Holytimes 5 points 5 months ago

If your mom masturbates next to me it would just be another tuesday. Gottem!

path: 0 23617571 23617791 23624634, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
Masamune 9 points 5 months ago

The surest way to make a teenager think something is not cool (and thus, stop doing it), is for the parent to show an interest in doing it with them.

path: 0 23617571 23619652, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 1
Kolanaki 5 points 5 months ago

Someone gets it.

path: 0 23617571 23619652 23620942, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
HeHoXa 3 points 5 months ago

Now when you say "with him"...

path: 0 23617571 23618517, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
daggermoon 14 points 5 months ago

What a motherfucking G.

path: 0 23617114, hotness: undefined, score: 14, children: 0
dejected_warp_core 13 points 5 months ago

I would have sprung for a professionally made sandwich board or spinny sign.

I really hope this guy got some high-fives for his trouble.

path: 0 23630434, hotness: undefined, score: 13, children: 0
Lanske 11 points 5 months ago

In other words: a totally normal kid

path: 0 23643368, hotness: undefined, score: 11, children: 1
Ophrys 5 points 5 months ago

Quickly, drug him!

but not the weed!

path: 0 23643368 23643974, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
Lost_My_Mind 11 points 5 months ago

Plot twist, he was watching auntie femdom porn, where the aunt punishes her nephew. This is his kink.

path: 0 23617297, hotness: undefined, score: 11, children: 2
humanamerican 4 points 5 months ago

Cuck your uncle?

path: 0 23617297 23617472, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 1
Holytimes 2 points 5 months ago

He's into it.

path: 0 23617297 23617472 23624643, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
snowdriftissue 9 points 5 months ago

Is this AI? His hand is all fucked up, body proportions seem off and shirt text looks weird

path: 0 23618030, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 5
daggermoon 10 points 5 months ago

compression and artifacting, not everything is AI.

path: 0 23618030 23620451, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0
conartistpanda 5 points 5 months ago

Yeah the hands are sus, and the shadow on the sign, and everything as a whole.

path: 0 23618030 23619331, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
Yosmonkol 3 points 5 months ago

This is an ancient meme, the earliest extant mention was 23 July 2010, way before photo generation was viable. You can see remnants of the original facebook conversation here. TLDR: The original circumstances aren't much different from the OP except he allegedly stole from his parents to buy said items and his mom made him hold the sign in front of his school.

path: 0 23618030 23630122, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 1
EtAl 1 point 5 months ago

Ah, that explains calling it "the 'Hub'." I'd think even the out of touch mom knows what PornHub is these days.

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QuinnyCoded 1 point 5 months ago

I found it on Pinterest and reverse image searched to get a higher qualify image, but I assume it was just run through some filter or something

path: 0 23618030 23631982, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0
pineapplelover 7 points 5 months ago

Kinda funny but weed nowadays is crazy, not like old weed from a decade ago.

path: 0 23622274, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 7
SuspiciousCatThing 35 points 5 months ago

Bro a decade ago was 2016, weed was crazy then too.

path: 0 23622274 23624219, hotness: undefined, score: 35, children: 0
Anivia 13 points 5 months ago

We had strains with over 20% THC in the early 90s, now it's barely over 30%. You're making the difference sound more extreme than it is, especially when comparing to just a decade ago.

Comparing weed from the 60s to weed from the 80s, now that's where you will acurally see a crazy difference.

The only major difference that happened in the last decade is that dabbing got wildly popular, but the flower did not change significantly in the last 10 years

path: 0 23622274 23624477, hotness: undefined, score: 13, children: 1
prole 5 points 5 months ago

We had strains with over 20% THC in the early 90s,

Uh, maybe in California.

You could sometimes get ahold of the 20% stuff where I am in the early 00s, but the dealers would mark it up to like $60/eighth so it was only for special occasions.

Everything else was "beasters" or "mids"

path: 0 23622274 23624477 23628236, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 6 points 5 months ago

Just grow your own. Us casuals can't make it as balls blasting as the pros can, but it's still plenty strong.

path: 0 23622274 23623265, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 3
Anivia 4 points 5 months ago

If you're growing indoors it's not that difficult to grow really, really good weed. This was just my second attempt with still much too learn:

https://feddit.org/post/9584572

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Skankhunt420 1 point 5 months ago

In your experience, do you think I could get away with growing in a tent in an apartment with a carbon scrubber and negative air pressure in the tent or should I not even attempt it?

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Anivia 2 points 5 months ago

In my opinion no. A good carbon filter (I recommend Rhino Pro) will almost eliminate the smell, but even if you use automatic watering, at some point you will have to open the tent to harvest the plant, at which point your neighbors will definitely notice if they are home. There is definitely a risk of getting caught if it's illegal in your country

path: 0 23622274 23623265 23624772 23628270 23630411, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
gandalf_der_12te 6 points 5 months ago

I think that if i was driving by there i could only read "I smoked" and that's it.

path: 0 23617302, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
JennaR8r 6 points 5 months ago

Auntie must think it's the 1950s when nephew would've been put in a mental institution & lobotomized for such behavior.

path: 0 23617977, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0
FelixCress 4 points 5 months ago

This smile says it all.

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BeardededSquidward 3 points 5 months ago

Side note, any parent that does shit like this, needs to be charged with child endangerment and abuse. Investigated for further abuse as well.

path: 0 23619166, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0
FreshParsnip 2 points 5 months ago

That's supposed to be a punishment? They're letting him brag

path: 0 23688356, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
snoons 2 points 5 months ago

How dare he not conform to your religious ideology!

path: 0 23617763, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0
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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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