You buy 5 bitcoins for $450 each in 2016. It's what you can afford. You sell them for $10,000 each in 2018, timing it decently just before a bigger drop.

Congrats on your $48k.

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Contextual_Idiot 14 points 8 months ago

Look at this youngin, turning 18 in 2016. Enjoy your knees and shoulders while you can.

2009-2010, you hear about this "Bitcoin" thing for the first time. You remember some old fart telling you about it years ago, but you had no idea what they were talking about and assumed they had mental problems. You decide to download it and start mining it, it doesn't hurt anything. It just uses your CPU to mine them. You let it run and quickly forget about it. Eventually, you get tired of it slowing your computer down. You have a few thousand coins by now, so you shut the miner down and put your wallet somewhere safe. Then you forget all about it, until about 2021...

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HeyJoe 7 points 8 months ago

That was me. Around 2009 I remember first hearing about it and trying to buy it and quickly realizing it wasnt that easy and seemed sketcky so i just said whatever... i wonder what I would have done if I did.

My 18 was also way before (2000) this so i hope i remember it for that long. And honestly life was good up until 2009 so i wouldnt really change any of that anyway. 2009 on could have used some improvements...

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d00ery 1 point 7 months ago

Sell bitcoin 2025.

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lichtmetzger 60 points 8 months ago

Don't preorder Cyberpunk.

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stoicmaverick 24 points 8 months ago

I've never understood why anyone would pre-order anything digital. Were you afraid they would run out?

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HeyJoe 6 points 8 months ago

The last physical game I ever had trouble finding when it released was GTA San Andreas. I really couldnt find it for about a week maybe 2 which was nuts.

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ivanafterall 2 points 7 months ago

"Distrust Peter Molyneux."

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BigDanishGuy 51 points 8 months ago

ADHD not stupid

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grrgyle 7 points 8 months ago

Aww 🥲 yeah

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wavebeam 37 points 8 months ago

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Samsy 4 points 8 months ago

Get to France!

Wtf do I like Mike Oldfield in the future

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Mubelotix 2 points 8 months ago

Get on the french lemmy at jlai.lu

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communist 36 points 8 months ago

Bitcoin hits 120k

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Mubelotix 9 points 8 months ago

Bitcoin hits 277k

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RidderSport 8 points 8 months ago

Not worth too much for me. Better is: Rheinmetall hits 1800€

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gergolippai 32 points 8 months ago

Buy Bit Coin

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db2 29 points 8 months ago

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Lawnman23 2 points 8 months ago

https://youtu.be/gUVFICtA2RM

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SpookyBogMonster 27 points 8 months ago

"you're a girl"

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Draegur 26 points 8 months ago

first choice:
PURSUE NUCLEAR ENGINEERING

runner up:
YOU AIN'T MALE

third place:
ATTENTION DEFICIT: REAL

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BigDanishGuy 7 points 8 months ago

With you on 1 and 3, not so much 2...

When I was 18 ADHD was something kids had and you outgrew it. I probably couldn't have been evaluated then. So nuclear engineering it is.

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cows_are_underrated 5 points 8 months ago

2 was my first thought too, but maybe its better that I didnt had my egg cracking while I was still living with my parents (the funny thing is, that I still had my egg cracking while staying at my parents place between semesters) and going to school.

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knightly 4 points 8 months ago

My egg cracked at 11, but enbys were almost entirely unknown in Texas back then so I masked so hard that I was basically living in denial. My 18yo self wouldn't need gender validation, it'll find kindred spirits for that in college, but "Colorado, not California" might push up my transition date by a decade, 'cuz my first attempt to escape Texas didn't go well.

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oopsgodisdeadmybad -3 points 8 months ago

Maybe you could say "you're a woman", but you're still male, unless you've had major work done.

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Draegur 3 points 8 months ago

Oh I'm not a girl either.

I'm an it: a THING. :3

The big revelation i had in recent years is that although i may not know what i am, i know what I'm not.

I wasted decades living like a fish who was tricked into thinking its life's purpose was to climb trees.

I could have spared myself a great deal of inconvenience and confusion if i had realized sooner that I'm asexual and genderless because divesting of those labels has drastically reduced the discomfort of my existence in that i no longer feel bizarre self-inflicted pressure to fulfill archetypical roles toward which i never related and which I never understood in the first place.

A lot of social issues i had came from externalization of internal dysphoria. The deep, overwhelming disgust and discomfort I felt when merely even conceptualizing masculinity that purports to be 'mine', let alone any actual participation in such an identity. Being in "boy" spaces, being present for "boy" events, every stereotype and statistically emergent pattern associated with maleness, all of it--ALL OF IT--made my skin crawl.

The utter revulsion that overwhelmed me regarding masculinity spilled over into how I treated others, and that absolutely sucked. It's not their fault they had an intrinsic understanding of themselves that felt intuitive and made sense to them...

...

And also even though I don't particularly feel interested in pretending to be a girl either i know i definitely would be more comfortable in a more androgynous body. I even want bottom surgery, not for anyone else's sake but because it feels less wrong conceptually.

(Not holding my breath though)

I just sometimes think back to the 90s and wonder if i could've had more room in my head for more useful considerations if I hadn't been preoccupied with an intrinsic inability to embody societal expectations and roles that, it turns out, had nothing to do with me. If i didn't waste so much effort trying to care about something that i hated and turned out to not matter at all, goodness, i could've known myself so much better, been at least somewhat more comfortable in my own head if not in my own skin.

If future me had conveyed the message convincingly in just those three words that no good would come from struggling to participate with that miserable dead-end charade... maybe i could have better focused on things that did matter.

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oopsgodisdeadmybad 2 points 7 months ago

Your sex is not an identity (inherently, at least- people can make it part of their identity).

There's different contexts for the word (chromosomal, phenotypical, etc), but generally speaking the average of all of them is what you are described as in a biological sense, gender aside.

I'm still running into new identities, expressions, and interpretations, but so far everything I'm aware of holds at least that much in common.

Am I missing something? Genuine question.

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lumettaria 25 points 8 months ago

You a lesbian

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RelativePlatypus 24 points 8 months ago

It gets worse

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altphoto 24 points 8 months ago

Invest in Apple.

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mrnobody 26 points 8 months ago

Invest in Nvidia yourself

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altphoto 5 points 8 months ago

They said 3

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IratePirate 3 points 8 months ago

Jensen, that you?

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ChocolateFrostedSugarBombs 24 points 8 months ago

Sell Bitcoin 2025

This tells myself to first buy Bitcoin so I have some to sell. Then gives me the year it was at the highest peak. By then I'll be intrigued and will be paying attention. I may not hit exactly March which was the highest point but I'll still be much better off.

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lobut 9 points 8 months ago

damn, and I thought I was original ...

I was even wondering if 2025 counts as one word for a while

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jaschen306 7 points 8 months ago

I mean, why not just encrypt more data points in a large number string?

A1Z26 cipher 19,5,14,4,14,21,4,5,19

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bampop 10 points 7 months ago

Past self: "oh look an old person having a stroke"

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ivanafterall 5 points 7 months ago

"Damn, I must've really gotten into Lost fanfic..."

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projektilski 7 points 7 months ago

Better is "Bitcoin sell 100000"

So you know to sell when it hits 100000$ whenever this is.

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Jax 5 points 7 months ago

Math people make me laugh.

100000 is 'one hundred thousand'. Your younger self would hear 'Bitcoin sell one' followed by confusing silence. Same goes for 'Bitcoin sell 2025', twenty twenty five, two thousand twenty five — both ways are too many words.

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cockmushroom 0 points 7 months ago

The fact you don't know how to use hyphens doesn't mean that you shouldn't. They've always been more useful and less bot reeking than em-dashes.

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Jax 1 point 7 months ago

An em dash signifies a longer pause — I'll continue to use them however I see fit. It's telling, though, that you assume an em dash means I'm using an AI to write.

Edit: Math friends :)

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adarza 2 points 7 months ago

Me at 18 in 1980's: "wtf is a bitcoin?"

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projektilski 1 point 7 months ago

Yes, but when it's invented you WILL know.

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Widdershins 4 points 7 months ago

Sell bitcoin 2025.25. If that works you'll have to break me off a piece.

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Jax 2 points 7 months ago

Two thousand twenty five dot twenty five, twenty twenty five dot twenty five, two zero two five dot two five.

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lightnsfw 1 point 7 months ago

I was just gonna tell me to kill myself but this one might be better.

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NotASharkInAManSuit 22 points 8 months ago

Buy $0.01 bitcoin.

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BigBrainBrett2517 4 points 8 months ago

That's six words, no?

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___ 8 points 8 months ago

Buy penny Bitcoin?

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NotASharkInAManSuit 1 point 8 months ago

It’s two words, everything else is numbers and a symbol, I’d argue I’m well within the limits of the rules to add another word if I wanted.

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warbond 4 points 8 months ago

Saying it out loud you'd have to reduce it, right? But my real problem with the message is how do you know when to sell the bitcoin?

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NotASharkInAManSuit -1 points 8 months ago

The rules were three words, no caveats, I’m choosing to be subjective with the interpretation. I’m taking the “There ain’t no rules that say a dog can’t play basketball” approach.

Buy $100 worth at $0.01, sell that at $1000, get the fuck out of dodge.

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AtHeartEngineer 3 points 7 months ago

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NotASharkInAManSuit 0 points 7 months ago

Stop taking this seriously, it’s a time travel hypothetical.

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SparrowHawk 22 points 8 months ago

You ADHD transgender

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Zozano 9 points 7 months ago

"You adult defect-"

"Sorry buddy, acronym's count."

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SparrowHawk 1 point 7 months ago

Ehi no fair acronyms are words too

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Zozano 2 points 7 months ago

Sorry chief, this hypothetical is FUBAR

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ivanafterall 7 points 7 months ago

Maybe "you're" so it doesn't sound like name-calling?

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protogen420 6 points 7 months ago

i think it is meant to be name calling, just in a cute way, perphaps add a :3 to the end

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Gorgeous_George 2 points 7 months ago

but "you're" is two words

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Someplaceunknown 22 points 8 months ago

You're a girl

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icelimit 2 points 7 months ago

Your dong wrong.

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Someplaceunknown 1 point 7 months ago

Lmfao this is the funniest thing I’ve read all week

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icelimit 2 points 7 months ago

Glad to be of service. But I do hope your week gets better

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exu 2 points 8 months ago

Four words technically

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warbond 15 points 7 months ago

Bob, WeHadAnAwakening You'reAGirl!

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Adulated_Aspersion 9 points 7 months ago

I get this reference, fellow old person.

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W98BSoD 3 points 7 months ago

10 lbs 7ozs

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thethunderwolf 5 points 7 months ago

then say "Your a girl"

not like they'd notice

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Almacca 22 points 7 months ago

Don't get married.

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ButtermilkBiscuit 3 points 7 months ago

How do you give Lemmy gold?

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bss03 8 points 7 months ago

Found on: https://shop.revolvermag.com/...

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Almacca 1 point 7 months ago

No idea. Don't care. After I posted this I scolled down the thread and saw at least one other person had posted the exact same thing, though. :D

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bhamlin 20 points 8 months ago

Don't do it

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path: 0 22405055, hotness: undefined, score: 20, children: 0

hOrni 20 points 8 months ago

Two would be enough, "buy bitcoin".

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pulsey 11 points 8 months ago

what says that you wouldnt have sold it e.g. when the price doubled? like from $10 to $20?

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thatKamGuy 9 points 8 months ago

18yo me would be living in the early 2000s; any of these would set me up for life: “Bitcoin hits $100K” “Buy Tesla shares” - this also would work for any of the big brands Netflix/Nvidia etc.

But this one would probably change my life in a much more meaningful way: “Don’t lose her.”

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toddestan 3 points 8 months ago

You'd be better off saying something like "sell bitcoin $125k" (we'll just assume "$125k" would count as one word). That you should then buy it when it's cheap would be implied.

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MousePotatoDoesStuff 1 point 7 months ago

Good point.

"Buy Bitcoin, hodl"

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muusemuuse 20 points 8 months ago

You’re a bottom.

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Vespair 20 points 8 months ago

Just be punk.

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SkyeStarfall 19 points 8 months ago

Transgender, AuDHD, (secret third thing. Or maybe just bitcoin)

..I'm sure my 18 year old ass would process this information in a calm and reasonable manner, lol

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path: 0 22407361, hotness: undefined, score: 19, children: 1

W98BSoD 2 points 7 months ago

AuDHD

Gold Dihydrogen dioxide?

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SethTaylor 19 points 8 months ago

Suck. My. Balls.

(He'd think it's fucking hilarious)

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AlecSadler 16 points 8 months ago

Let's see...

don't sell bitcoin

don't sell doge

don't buy restaurant

don't date XYZ

don't date ABC

don't buy restaurant

don't quit place

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path: 0 22408154, hotness: undefined, score: 16, children: 2

stoicmaverick 8 points 8 months ago

Ok, but if you DID buy a restaurant, what kind and why?

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path: 0 22408154 22408524, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 1

AlecSadler 14 points 8 months ago

I wanted to exit tech and thought bars might work.

They didn't. Even loving what I did in bar-land, it ultimately led to substantial debt that I'll be paying on for years.

I was happier in general, but the financial viability was impossible.

edit: Beer margins are crazy, but not during COVID and not now.

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funkyfarmington 15 points 8 months ago

Don't. Marry. Her.

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d00ery 1 point 7 months ago

Don't marry her - Beautiful South

https://youtu.be/GYZfFKDsXHk

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Diddlydee 15 points 8 months ago

Buy some bitcoin

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jj4211 5 points 8 months ago

Instructions unclear, sold it when it doubled.

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path: 0 22409398 22413639, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 1

thethunderwolf 1 point 7 months ago

"bitcoin peaks 2025"

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MilitantAtheist 15 points 8 months ago

Buy All Bitcoin

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path: 0 22412514, hotness: undefined, score: 15, children: 0

Zikeji 14 points 8 months ago

Cherish them more.

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W98BSoD 1 point 7 months ago

Oof. Yeah.

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EvilHankVenture 14 points 8 months ago

You need therapy.

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Gurei 14 points 7 months ago

Read scholarship terms.

(Got fucked over majorly at DeVry because I trusted actual adults in authority positions for my guidance and wish I had the backbone back then to call them out on it.)

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BenLeMan 14 points 8 months ago

It's-A-Me!

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damnthefilibuster 13 points 8 months ago

invest in bitcoin!!!!!!!

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AkatsukiLevi 13 points 8 months ago

Do not piss

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ShotDonkey 13 points 7 months ago

Me from future

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tetris11 2 points 7 months ago

Big Chief, No Shit.

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Apytele 13 points 8 months ago

It's still fucked.

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sphericalcube 2 points 8 months ago

Your 18 year old self being really confused because you basically used 4 words so the message that arrives is just "It's still..". Just imagine what weird stuff your 18 year old self would do because it thinks it found the secret of your message.

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Passerby6497 11 points 8 months ago

A contraction is still one word, even if it's the combination of both

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grrgyle 5 points 8 months ago

Someone didn't go to genie school

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LilithElina 13 points 7 months ago

Don't have children.

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ArgumentativeMonotheist 2 points 7 months ago

Are you a mother?

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LilithElina 16 points 7 months ago

Yes, but not a good one. Having children made my mental health so much worse, we would all be better off if I had chosen differently.

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ArgumentativeMonotheist 11 points 7 months ago

Don't beat yourself up too much... just keep things in mind to make some small changes when possible. The kids are here already, there's no going back, but you can go forward, despite the hardships, in a way you can be proud of, right? (I know, I know, it's unsolicited advice, but it comes from a good place. ✌️)

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piranhaconda 13 points 8 months ago

Tossup between "buy Bitcoin now" and "you are autistic"

The first one, because, obviously. The second one, because I didn't find out until I was in my 30s. My lemmy account is older than my diagnosis.

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grrgyle 1 point 8 months ago

The best one

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osanna 1 point 8 months ago

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T13URF 13 points 8 months ago

Take LSD now

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JeffreyOrange 12 points 8 months ago

Stop lifting weights. Your childhood injury will flare up and ruin your life for a couple years.

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tias 13 points 8 months ago

Also you'll forget how to count words

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ikidd 12 points 8 months ago

You fucking dumbass.

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three 12 points 8 months ago

Start depression medication

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attero 12 points 8 months ago

won't get better

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Jankatarch 12 points 7 months ago

This why you should learn at least one extensively agglutinative language before 18.

Turkish : Sorguluyamyacaklardanmiscasiniza protestolara katil.
Translation : Participate in the protests as if you were one of those who could not be questioned

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EpicMuch 11 points 8 months ago

Brush teeth more

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zjti8eit 11 points 8 months ago

Buy bitcoin soon

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mech 11 points 8 months ago

Don't marry Sarah!

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explodicle 11 points 8 months ago

Hold bitcoin decades

save

path: 0 22419015, hotness: undefined, score: 11, children: 0

Banana 10 points 8 months ago

Notice your happy.

save

path: 0 22406403, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 1

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 5 points 8 months ago

welp. there it went.

save

path: 0 22406403 22408470, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

bravesirrbn 10 points 8 months ago

go to gym

save

path: 0 22412154, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 3

ivanafterall 2 points 7 months ago

Rude.

save

path: 0 22412154 22428511, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 2

bravesirrbn 3 points 7 months ago

It's only because it turns out I really enjoy going to gym and wish I'd learned that earlier

save

path: 0 22412154 22428511 22433005, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 1

ivanafterall 2 points 7 months ago

I'm kidding, I also wish I'd gotten in better shape much sooner.

save

path: 0 22412154 22428511 22433005 22435124, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

Nooodel 10 points 8 months ago

Mom has leukemia would have been a good move

save

path: 0 22419571, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0

captainlezbian 10 points 7 months ago

It really depends on when at 18. On my 18th birthday: "mom's headaches cancer". A few months early wouldn't necessarily save her, especially given the few years chemo bought her, but they might. If it's after the cancer is caught I'd say "come out soon" and point to myself.

save

path: 0 22430393, hotness: undefined, score: 10, children: 0

bss03 9 points 8 months ago

I can't figure out how to prevent 9/11 in 3 words. So, I'll just say "Programming Language: Haskell".

save

path: 0 22424839, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 2

ScoffingLizard 7 points 8 months ago

Why?

save

path: 0 22424839 22425151, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 1

bss03 11 points 8 months ago

I wish I learned the lessons from that language 12 years earlier than I did. I still prefer to write personal code in that family of languages, and it made me a better coder even in Java, JavaScript, Python, even C.

Also, that year is actually the first year it was available and my first year in college; it might have focused me enough to actually go to grad school and start a PL research career. I don't know if that would be better, but it would be different.

The people calling out BTC is also a pretty good idea, but I made a little money on BTC, and I'm not sure too much more money would be a positive change in my life. It could be, but I think it might have made me more covetous and more isolated.

But, I often choose to program instead of playing video games these days, so it's clearly something I enjoy, even if I don't currently monetize it.

Thanks for asking.

save

path: 0 22424839 22425151 22425718, hotness: undefined, score: 11, children: 0

bold_omi 9 points 8 months ago

Point at him and say: "Gay. Invest Zoom." He'll figure it out.

save

path: 0 22419664, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 0

GladiusB 9 points 8 months ago

Buy Apple Stock

save

path: 0 22407238, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 0

FreddiesLantern 9 points 8 months ago

You deserve better.

save

path: 0 22418496, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 0

MousePotatoDoesStuff 9 points 7 months ago

"ALIEN INVASION SOON"

I do a little self-trolling :)

save

path: 0 22437451, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 0

rumba 9 points 7 months ago

Bitcoin exceeds 100000

save

path: 0 22434989, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 2

engagewithzorp 4 points 7 months ago

That's 5 words

save

path: 0 22434989 22435076, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 1

rumba 3 points 7 months ago

bitcoin five zeroes

save

path: 0 22434989 22435076 22439191, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

fartographer 8 points 8 months ago

Learn women's perspectives

save

path: 0 22408230, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 1

ivanafterall 1 point 7 months ago

save

path: 0 22408230 22428573, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

eestileib 8 points 8 months ago

You're a girl

save

path: 0 22408472, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 0

czl 8 points 8 months ago

You do fine

save

path: 0 22404840, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 0

harambe69 8 points 8 months ago

'Read this book' as I hand him a guidebook for the next decade or two.

save

path: 0 22424680, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 0

ParadoxSeahorse 8 points 8 months ago

Don’t stop believin’

save

path: 0 22411479, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 0

Michal 8 points 8 months ago

Google, Microsoft, bitcoin.

save

path: 0 22415429, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 0

bellly 8 points 8 months ago

Won't get better.

save

path: 0 22406300, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 0

snowcrete 8 points 8 months ago

Move to Europe

save

path: 0 22413907, hotness: undefined, score: 8, children: 1

BigBrainBrett2517 2 points 8 months ago

Strong.

save

path: 0 22413907 22419607, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

mr_anny 7 points 8 months ago

Let's have beer.

save

path: 0 22405596, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0

Simulation6 7 points 8 months ago

She was interested in you, go talk to her.

save

path: 0 22414299, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 2

lastunusedusername2 9 points 8 months ago

Your future self will say "that's nine words" =]

save

path: 0 22414299 22414658, hotness: undefined, score: 9, children: 1

Simulation6 4 points 8 months ago

Oh, sorry. Talk to her, then.

save

path: 0 22414299 22414658 22415603, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0

brownsugga 7 points 8 months ago

Buy Google

Edit- I remember telling my dad this; it occurs to me now he may not have had the liquid funds to invest that I at the time assumed he did

save

path: 0 22425142, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 1

kalpol 2 points 8 months ago

Amazon in 2010 was like 75 a share

save

path: 0 22425142 22425709, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

azvasKvklenko 7 points 8 months ago

Diagnose for ADHD

save

path: 0 22426277, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0

Worstdriver 7 points 8 months ago

It gets better

save

path: 0 22424898, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 1

uniquethrowagay 2 points 8 months ago

Oh boy did it get better!

save

path: 0 22424898 22425736, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

tkk13909 7 points 8 months ago

Hail Satan, bitch

save

path: 0 22405813, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 1

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 3 points 8 months ago

hail thyself, bitch

save

path: 0 22405813 22408520, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

Sp00kyB00k 7 points 8 months ago

Seek mental help

save

path: 0 22410352, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0

sveltecider 7 points 7 months ago

Put down bottle LOL

save

path: 0 22429209, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0

Discoslugs 7 points 8 months ago

You are bi-polar

save

path: 0 22409034, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 1

ivanafterall 3 points 7 months ago

"You are bi..."

save

path: 0 22409034 22428569, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

bampop 7 points 7 months ago

Hold the door!

save

path: 0 22428603, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 1

smeenz 1 point 7 months ago

Hodor hodor hodor

save

path: 0 22428603 22440993, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

Widdershins 7 points 8 months ago

Loss dot jaypeg

save

path: 0 22421569, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 3

W98BSoD 4 points 7 months ago

save

path: 0 22421569 22435900, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 2

Widdershins 1 point 7 months ago

𓀥 | 𓁆 𓀕

𓁆 𓀟 | 𓀣 𓁀

save

path: 0 22421569 22435900 22436402, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1

bss03 2 points 7 months ago

:.|:;

save

path: 0 22421569 22435900 22436402 22437857, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

ExLisper 6 points 8 months ago

Invest in Apple.

save

path: 0 22409312, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0

TerraRoot 6 points 8 months ago

Bitcoin 100k

save

path: 0 22411338, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0

itsgroundhogdayagain 6 points 8 months ago

Bet on Patriots

save

path: 0 22404816, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0

Supervisor194 6 points 8 months ago

This is a cute exercise in lateral thinking and all but will past me know that it is future me talking? Won't matter what the fuck I say otherwise, the little shit won't be listening to any authority figures.

save

path: 0 22406798, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 1

basxto 1 point 7 months ago

I'd probably immediately forget that I ever met me. There is also no way to explain anything in a way 18yo me could understand and if I'd succeed it would be thrown into an existential crisis.

save

path: 0 22406798 22437995, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

tidderuuf 6 points 8 months ago

Drink more Ovaltine!

save

path: 0 22406536, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0

McWizard 6 points 8 months ago

Not fuck crazy!

save

path: 0 22410046, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 1

ivanafterall 3 points 7 months ago

Not marry crazy!

save

path: 0 22410046 22428566, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

biggerbogboy 6 points 8 months ago

You 19 now

save

path: 0 22412061, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0

AngryCommieKender 6 points 8 months ago

Drop out. Act.

save

path: 0 22413207, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0

mgenehoffman 6 points 8 months ago

Literally talked with him in an ultra realistic dream last night. Told him to “hang in there” and then I showed him some cool tech he has to look forward to.

save

path: 0 22416950, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0

Generica 6 points 8 months ago

Stop touching yourself

save

path: 0 22418639, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 1

muusemuuse 5 points 8 months ago

Why?!

save

path: 0 22418639 22424656, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

EmpathicVagrant 6 points 8 months ago

Don’t trust [REDACTED]

save

path: 0 22422983, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0

Masterkraft0r 6 points 8 months ago

go to therapy

save

path: 0 22425728, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0

python 6 points 7 months ago

Give orange me give eat orange me eat orange give me eat orange give me you

save

path: 0 22428350, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0

tastetheplague 6 points 7 months ago

ur fucked lol

save

path: 0 22428699, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0

Etterra 6 points 7 months ago

See a psychiatrist.

save

path: 0 22432259, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 0

coolfission 6 points 7 months ago

Buy Nvidia now

save

path: 0 22435367, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 1

ebolapie 3 points 7 months ago

Sell Nvidia 190

Gotta give yourself an exit strat or you'll pop off too early or end up bagholding

save

path: 0 22435367 22441377, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

moonshadow 5 points 8 months ago

KILL YOUR MASTERS

save

path: 0 22416606, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

Pyr_Pressure 5 points 8 months ago

Invest in Apple

save

path: 0 22420128, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

dorumon 5 points 7 months ago

You are fucked.

save

path: 0 22438314, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

TigerAce 5 points 8 months ago

Life gets worse

save

path: 0 22409242, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

Siegfried 5 points 7 months ago

Bitcoin Law Travel

save

path: 0 22437844, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

Gonzako 5 points 8 months ago

Ask doctor paroxetina

save

path: 0 22414500, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

Maeve 5 points 8 months ago

Get out NOW

save

path: 0 22405627, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

thethunderwolf 5 points 7 months ago

"Recent life story?"

Am I the only person on Lemmy who isn't 18 yet

I'm assuming that they are aware that I'm them from another time

save

path: 0 22434544, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

enbiousenvy 5 points 8 months ago

2020 ruin you

save

path: 0 22418898, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

GarboDog 5 points 8 months ago

You’re Demi + trans 🏳️‍⚧️ (Was always too nervous to admit it long ago)

save

path: 0 22421785, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

thorhop 5 points 8 months ago

Move somewhere else.

save

path: 0 22411033, hotness: undefined, score: 5, children: 0

Nexyte 4 points 7 months ago

We like Ducks.

save

path: 0 22429237, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0

Tabooki 4 points 8 months ago

Save your money

save

path: 0 22419653, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0

Zorsith 4 points 8 months ago

Networking, not cybersecurity

save

path: 0 22406427, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 4 points 8 months ago

Die mother fucker

save

path: 0 22408465, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0

Lioffproxy 4 points 8 months ago

You're worth it

save

path: 0 22416726, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0

QuinnyCoded 4 points 8 months ago

"im 18 rn"

save

path: 0 22416077, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 3

MissesAutumnRains 3 points 8 months ago

You're 18. It's somewhere in the early 2000s and you've just graduated. You're soaking in the warm summer night air in your bed watching The Office. The world is so far away and simultaneously rushing at you at the speed of fuck. Your Blink-182 CD loops back again.

Suddenly, a bright pinprick of light bathes your dim room in an eerie blue-white glow. The light begins to grow and you realize it's undulating, like a fluid unbound by gravity as it roils in the air. You're too stunned to speak and cover your eyes at the harsh light. Your hairs stand on end and chills run along your skin. Somewhere inside, you associated such luminosity with heat, but the sphere—no, the disc, seems to be consuming the energy in the room, like some kind of ethereal whirlpool.

You gasp as a shadow moves through the shimmer. First a hand, then the upper half of what looks like a torso. The figure cocks their head as they look around the room. You can only make out their silhouette, but... they're vaguely familiar.

It's... you! They're different, a bit more worn down, perhaps, but they're unmistakably you. After a moment, your breath catches in your throat. They're older. Your mind, stunned by the absurdity of what has just occurred, finally catches up.

"You're me... from the future," you say. The statement immediately sounds stupid. Of course they are. The portal, the older you, what else could be happening. You scramble for a pen and an old school journal at your nightstand. You've fantasized about this before. You know what to do. Write down what they say and you'll be rich. No, you'll stop some horrible cataclysm. Maybe you'll keep your true love from leaving!

You turn back to yourself expectantly, anxiety causing your hand to shake on the page. You're holding your breath. Your lungs burn but you hardly can bring yourself to care.

The older you looks down at you from the swirling light.

"You are eighteen," they say with a shit-eating grin. In an instant, the light is gone. Darkness floods your room again as if nothing at all had happened. Outside your window, crickets continue to chirp. Your mind races, generations of genetically perfected pattern recognition searching for meaning in the words until you remember shitpostd about this exact scenario on 4chan.

"Oh go fuck yourself," you say, tossing aside the journal.

save

path: 0 22416077 22422502, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 2

QuinnyCoded 7 points 8 months ago

no I mean I am literally 18 rn 😭😭

save

path: 0 22416077 22422502 22424370, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 1

MissesAutumnRains 3 points 7 months ago

Oh damn. Well... ignore my comment then. 😭

save

path: 0 22416077 22422502 22424370 22428782, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

Geobloke 4 points 8 months ago

I'm you from...

save

path: 0 22407092, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0

SnarkoPolo 4 points 8 months ago

1986, buy Microsoft

save

path: 0 22407873, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0

jayands 4 points 7 months ago

Um, if you know about it beforehand, prep your notes and summarize them into about A4 size and just say "read this note"

save

path: 0 22437414, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0

DragonAce 4 points 8 months ago

Don't Get Married!

save

path: 0 22420553, hotness: undefined, score: 4, children: 0

Mrkawfee 3 points 7 months ago

You'll be fine.

save

path: 0 22430876, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

sin_free_for_00_days 3 points 8 months ago

Not worth it.

save

path: 0 22406545, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

SpaceCowboy 3 points 8 months ago

Ken M... fucking legend.

save

path: 0 22425188, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 2

osanna 1 point 8 months ago

save

path: 0 22425188 22426423, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 1

SpaceCowboy 2 points 7 months ago

how are you

save

path: 0 22425188 22426423 22441865, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

ivanafterall 3 points 8 months ago

There's no God.

save

path: 0 22409699, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

titanicx 3 points 7 months ago

Bitcoin, Dogecoin, GME

save

path: 0 22440026, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

nori 3 points 7 months ago

Leave home NOW

save

path: 0 22431637, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

Flying_Dutch_Rudder 3 points 8 months ago

Do more drugs

save

path: 0 22408783, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

Triasha 3 points 7 months ago

If I know it's me, "mine some Bitcoin" if I don't necessarily know it's me? "You transitioned.... Me"

save

path: 0 22436948, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

tangonov 3 points 8 months ago

Put off college

save

path: 0 22424995, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

Kolanaki 3 points 8 months ago

"There is nothing."

save

path: 0 22408829, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

Sam_Bass 3 points 8 months ago

Get over it

save

path: 0 22409553, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

A_Chilean_Cyborg 3 points 7 months ago

Maybe "fuck you imbécile"

Or maybe "don't fail university"

save

path: 0 22435140, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

Underwaterbob 2 points 8 months ago

If this were to happen, all of you are going to completely destroy Bitcoin. Haha!

save

path: 0 22424986, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

captcha_incorrect 2 points 7 months ago

Buy AMD stocks.

Would have been rich! Or perhaps Nividia.

save

path: 0 22447943, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

finallymadeanaccount 2 points 8 months ago

"Wise up, dickhead!"

save

path: 0 22408941, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

GreenKnight23 2 points 8 months ago

invest in bitcoin.

save

path: 0 22407507, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

WorldsDumbestMan 2 points 8 months ago

I don't have much that my clueless 18 year old self could use. "Brother has Aspergers", maybe to shortsell a company stock at a certain date, or tge government employment program link, which would be a bad idea (I would speedrun losing a job and confidence).

So the first one (no money for stocks, parents that won't listen).

save

path: 0 22408534, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

another_being 2 points 8 months ago

It’s all bullshit.

save

path: 0 22409149, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

Hossenfeffer 2 points 7 months ago

Lol at all these incorrect answers. "Kill 'em all" is the only sensible response.

save

path: 0 22435516, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

notwhoyouthink 2 points 7 months ago

Leave him now.

save

path: 0 22436678, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

PurpleClouds 2 points 8 months ago

Compound interest

save

path: 0 22408577, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

ArgumentativeMonotheist 2 points 7 months ago

Read the Qur'an.

PS: Actually, nah. I wouldn't say anything, I wouldn't want things to change (I did kinda date another Muslim qt before I met my now wife and I didn't agree with the religion conversion cause I was an atheist at the time, plus other details, so things fizzled out), I'm very pleased with my life despite the hardships.

save

path: 0 22427775, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1

Jankatarch 7 points 7 months ago

Username lore!!

save

path: 0 22427775 22428954, hotness: undefined, score: 7, children: 0

anton 2 points 8 months ago

Write down deadlines!

save

path: 0 22410038, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

DeadMartyr 2 points 7 months ago

"Don't Date Any" personally, girlfriends are expensive and I have put a lot of effort and time in pretty toxic ones that rebounded immediately after to the nearest guy. Obviously wouldnt be single forever but I def should've had higher standards.

Aside from that, prob a way to tell me what to invest in. Maybe to short the market right before covid (2020, Put Stocks),

I don't think I could convey when to sell crypto/bitcoin in just 3 words and it would be a disaster

save

path: 0 22436066, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

Cekan14 2 points 8 months ago

You'll win this

save

path: 0 22409630, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

basxto 2 points 7 months ago

fuck social rules

save

path: 0 22437309, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

PokerChips 2 points 7 months ago

Enjoy the life

save

path: 0 22427481, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

Cellari 2 points 8 months ago

I'm you...!

To my presumption this is 3 words, and the 18 year old me is not going to blindly believe any sudden random 3 words said.

save

path: 0 22426204, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

LavaPlanet 2 points 8 months ago

You got this. Or, Believe in yourself.

save

path: 0 22407635, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

grrgyle 2 points 8 months ago

Buy castle vania

(I got 8 eyes as a kid, which is great, buttt)

save

path: 0 22415209, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

Jankatarch 2 points 8 months ago

"Don't waste."

save

path: 0 22426400, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 1

ivanafterall 3 points 7 months ago

The unclear advice went horribly wrong.

save

path: 0 22426400 22428460, hotness: undefined, score: 3, children: 0

Digestive_Biscuit 2 points 8 months ago

Gey anxiety medicine

save

path: 0 22421006, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

Efflixi 2 points 8 months ago

18 was a long ass time ago for me. It would have been the late 90's. The world was so much different that I don't think anything I could say in 3 words would make any sense to my 18 year old self. I didn't have any money at 18 so something like "buy apple stock" wouldn't have worked.

Even taking the big assumption that I believed what I was telling my 18 year old self I can't actually come up with anything that makes sense in context. 3 words just isn't enough to convey anything useful given the time difference and everything else!

save

path: 0 22411663, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

BeardededSquidward 2 points 7 months ago

Doesn't get better.

save

path: 0 22438143, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

redwattlebird 2 points 8 months ago

It'll be ok

save

path: 0 22425441, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 2

myotheraccount 6 points 8 months ago

Are contractions allowed? That opens up possibilities

save

path: 0 22425441 22425604, hotness: undefined, score: 6, children: 1

redwattlebird 2 points 8 months ago

If not, then...

Do not worry

save

path: 0 22425441 22425604 22426918, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

vaultdweller013 2 points 8 months ago

Skip college, gormless.

save

path: 0 22424780, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

brown567 2 points 7 months ago

Annual psychiatric screening 👍

Got a few things I'd sure love to have caught 5 years earlier than I did

save

path: 0 22441761, hotness: undefined, score: 2, children: 0

super_user_do 1 point 7 months ago

Don't fall for it, stay strong, don't cede to temptation

save

path: 0 22442270, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

baltakatei 1 point 8 months ago

Great Simoleon Caper

save

path: 0 22408011, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

JargonWagon 1 point 8 months ago

save

path: 0 22415530, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

BioDriver 1 point 7 months ago

Bitcoin, AAPL, 2005

save

path: 0 22443689, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

TheSeveralJourneysOfReemus 1 point 8 months ago

save

path: 0 22420786, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

WanderWisley 1 point 7 months ago

Harambe, bitcoin, COVID!

save

path: 0 22439423, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

harsh3466 1 point 7 months ago

Save your money

save

path: 0 22439669, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

thedeadwalking4242 1 point 7 months ago

Run

save

path: 0 22439179, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

raspberriesareyummy 1 point 7 months ago

Learn Turkish İstanbul

save

path: 0 22437929, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

potatoguy 1 point 8 months ago

save

path: 0 22405565, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

limelight79 1 point 7 months ago

Office work sucks.

save

path: 0 22437681, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

SCmSTR 1 point 7 months ago

Barium Pupitar Kupfer

save

path: 0 22427628, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

Earthman_Jim 1 point 7 months ago

save

path: 0 22434820, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

Ghostie 1 point 7 months ago

save

path: 0 22439801, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

Canconda 1 point 7 months ago

God's not real

save

path: 0 22435180, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

MehBlah 1 point 7 months ago

"Move away!" I only needed two.

save

path: 0 22436874, hotness: undefined, score: 1, children: 0

lemmyshitpost

@lemmy.world

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!

Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...

2. No Illegal Content

Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...

3. No Spam

Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...

4. No Porn/Explicit

Content

-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...

5. No Enciting Harassment,

Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts

-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...

6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.

Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)

Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

go to feed...

lemmyshitpost

@lemmy.world

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!

Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...

2. No Illegal Content

Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...

3. No Spam

Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...

4. No Porn/Explicit

Content

-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...

5. No Enciting Harassment,

Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts

-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...

6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.

Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)

Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

go to feed...